It was with a sad smile that Iruka observed Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura walk eagerly into the building, off to participate in the Chuunin Exams. He let out a low chuckle as the ever so hyper blonde chattered excitedly to the distracted, love-stricken pink kunoichi, whom stared into the eyes of the clearly annoyed raven. Even though he was extremely proud of his former students, he was also a little sad to be seeing them grow up so quickly.
He saw all of his students, even the shyer students, such as Hinata, as his own children. He scolded them for their misbehaviors, praised them for their accomplishments, and patiently guided them through their academic weaknesses. Even so, Iruka felt his heart crumble little by little as he saw his beloved students graduate from the Academy each year. In a way, he was stuck at a certain point in his life, where his friends and surroundings changed, yet he stayed as the same, brown-haired and brown-eyed Iruka Umino.
He had very little to look forward to besides teaching. Books, plays, gardening, social events, and things of that nature didn’t really interest him. Even his colleagues would poke fun at Iruka because of this, and one suggested that he get a girlfriend. Although he knew they were only joking, he would hide his agreeing desperation behind a smile that was a little too wide, and a little too cheery for a victim of a joke. He had to admit, he probably was a little too lonely for someone who was young, pleasant, and well off when it came to money.
It was times like these when Iruka, still hiding behind a fake smile, would look past his chortling and animated colleagues to notice Kakashi, whom was resting against a wall with one foot pressed against it, while wearing the most peculiar expression. With a faint blush, Iruka saw the title of the small, orange book that he held in one hand. His blush deepened when the grey-haired ninja looked up from his book to stare curiously back at him. His dark, exposed eye seemed to penetrate through Iruka’s carefully constructed façade of shyness and fake smiles.
This eye threatened to expose Iruka’s lies, his lonely past, his very soul! With a slight shudder, he averted his gaze back to the colleagues around him. There was something about Kakashi that unnerved him to no end.
Rapidly blinking back the tears from his eyes, Iruka finally returned to the world of reality. Feeling a slight pressure at the pocket of his pants, he reached down to retrieve a piece of folded up paper. After scanning its contents, he realized that it was a grocery list. Watching the sky steadily gray overhead, he decided to get his grocery shopping over with as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to get caught in the rain, but his food supply was dangerously low at that very moment.
After entering the plain shop and grabbing a cart, he carefully scanned its limited number of aisles. As he passed an aisle full of ramen, his mind returned to the topic of Naruto, which invariably led to the topic of the Kyuubi fox residing within him. His grip on the cart tightened, and he stopped to stare at the vibrantly colored packages of ramen before him.
Iruka’s panic grew to dangerous levels as taller and stronger ninjas shoved him further away from the growling and snapping Kyuubi. Unfortunately, the harder he struggled against the crowd, the further he was from his parents.
“Don’t leave me here!” He cried, pushing blindly against the solid wall of uncaring ninjas.
“Get out of the way, kid!” One male ninja warned, grabbing the collar of Iruka’s shirt to lead him out of the thick horde.
Before Iruka had time to identify his savior, he was all alone once more. A wave of hopelessness washed through him, leaving his throat completely choked up. Before he knew it, he was reduced to a frightened, whimpering child. As much as he wanted to search for his parents, he knew even then that it would be a wasted attempt.
Covering his head with his arms and sobbing uncontrollably, his last memories of his parents flashed behind his eyes.
“Don’t cry, Iruka.” His mother softly cooed, caressing her son with numerous kisses.
“Listen to me,” His father instructed, placing his strong hands upon Iruka’s shoulders. “We will not be gone for long. I give you my promise that this will be a very short battle.”
His sobs grew worse as he realized the lie in his father’s words. A wave of anger, on top of sorrow, washed through his muddy limbs.
“You lied, Dad,” He whispered to himself with a sob. “You lied!”
The anguish Iruka felt that day would repeat over and over again in his sleep, until it became a memory that numbed his heart. Ever since his parents’ deaths, there had always been a gaping hole in his heart, and although his love for his students usually plugged up this hole, it was never enough.
His life could be described as a never ending circle of pain and numbness, and there was no stopping it. As each day passed by, it seemed more and more difficult to break it. There even came a point in his life where he simply accepted the fact that it would be entirely impossible to end this maddening process.
“Excuse me, sir?” A female employee questioned with a worried frown. “Are you okay, sir?”
Looking down, Iruka realized that he had been staring at the same ramen for a couple of minutes now. With a warm smile, he continued to step lightly down the aisle.
“I’m okay, thank you.”
Finishing up his grocery shopping, he finally noticed the pitter-patter of rain that could be heard from the inside of the store.
Shoot, I forgot my umbrella!
After paying for his food, he clutched the two paper bags close to his chest.
Maybe I won’t get too soaked if I run…
Holding his breath a little, Iruka pushed the door aside, and ran as fast as he could. Concentrating a little too much on his now muddy feet, he relied on his sense of direction to lead him home.
He absolutely hated the rain, whether it was a downpour, or a mere drizzle. It had rained steadily the day of his parents’ death, just like it was doing now.
He felt the numbing process occur as he thought about his once beloved parents. It grew from his chest, and spread through his limbs like a deadly cancer would. There came a point where he couldn’t even feel the cold droplets of water soak his clothes.
His feet suddenly stopped, and his eyes widened in shock as he finally noticed his surroundings. Instead of standing outside of his house, he was standing right outside of the gates of the local graveyard. On a sudden impulse, he entered the graveyard and searched for his parents’ tombstones.
With a heavy heart, he soon discovered his parents’ tombstones. Tracing the indentations of their names, he was disheartened to know that their tombstones were already crumbling away. It was obvious that they had been forgotten, lost among the hundreds of nameless tombstones of other ninjas that had died that same night.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice the uncontrollable sobs that wracked through his entire body. He also didn’t notice the hand on his shoulder, or the man that hand belonged to.
Without even seeing who it was, a kneeling Iruka wordlessly accepted the warm embrace that allowed him to cry on their shoulder. His sobs continued as the hand moved down to rub small, comforting circles at the small of his back. After what seemed like an eternity, his sobs finally subsided to occasional hiccups.
Looking up from the nameless shoulder, his red-rimmed eyes faintly recognized the grey-haired man before him.
“Kakashi…?”
“You may think you fooled everybody with your smiles, but you never fooled me,” Kakashi whispered softly. “I’ve always been watching, Iruka. Always.”
For once in Iruka’s life since the death of his parents, he felt hope. True hope, the purest kind in existence, the kind that could only be found within the love of another human being. With a genuine smile that lit up his brown eyes, he noticed that the clouds overhead had dissipated, leaving behind the inescapable warmth of the long-awaited sun.
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