Oh, I have a few people here who wanna say some things.
Naruto: Oi! I just wanted to say thank you for letting me get a real girlfriend in one of your stories!
antilogicgirl: That's ok, Naruto. You desreve a little bit of happiness. Just don't overdo it.
Sasuke: ...
antilogicgirl: You said you wanted to SAY something, Uchiha!
Sasuke: Fine...Thanks for not mobbing me with fangirls all the time.
Sakura: Oh, we don't mob you, Sasuke-kun! We're just really...glad to see you all of the time!
antilogicgirl: ...
*DOOR OPENS*
*Sasuke's eyes bugging out of skull*
antilogicgirl: Itatchi! So glad you could come! *slaps Itachi's hand away from a private area of her body* Can't you wait until we're done talking to everyone?
Itachi: ...
antilogicgirl, Sakura: HENTAI!!!
Itachi: *evil grin* I thought you liked hentai?
antilogicgirl: *blushing furiously* You must have me confused with Anko. Now, keep your hands to yourself and play nice with your brother.
Sasuke: You always try to make us be nice! I just wanna kill him and get it over with so that I can go off and have lots of babies with someone!
antilogicgirl: Don't get started with that again, you horny little...*coughs* Sakura, can you come over here for a minute? Looks like we have another hentai in the room...*rolls eyes*
TBC
Ah. Time for another installment of antilogicgirl dodging the hentai brothers...
Sakura: Sasuke-kun?
Sasuke:... *attempting the "scratch behind the head" method of putting arm over Sakura's shoulders*
antilogicgirl: Oh, for the love of all that is holy, why can't you two just behave?
Naruto: They're horny, don't you know? They have to "rebuild the clan"...*rolls eyes and jabs antilogicgirl in the ribs*
antilogicgirl: geesh, Naruto. That smarts. Now. As I was saying, you two Uchihas need to keep all appendages to yourselves.
Uchiha brothers: ... *Sharingans activating*
Sakura/antilogicgirl: Oh, crap *running around the room, boys chasing*
Naruto: *watching in an amused way* boy do you guys need to grow up.
**Knock on the door**
antilogicgirl: I'll get it!
**Creak!!!** (man, I need some WD-40 on that hinge)
antilogicgirl: Oh, hell. Not another hentai.
Kakashi: I resent that. I came here to rescue you, and this is the thanks I get?
antilogicgirl: Reescue? Oh, my hero! *pretend damsel-in-distress voice* Really? Or are you just here to grope me too?
Kakashi: No, I came to get rid of Itachi, so I guess you could say I'm rescuing you. If you want me to grope you, that could be arranged...
antilogicgirl: Why are all the ninjas over 14 trying to get in my pants?
Itachi: Who said anything about trying? I thought you were pretty easy.
antilogicgirl: ... *eye twitch. vein, vein, VEIN*
Itachi: Holy hell...
antilogicgirl: *rolling up sleeves* Kakashi, why don't you go and get a soda from the fridge. I'll take care of Itachi. Sasuke!
Sasuke: *stops dead in tracks* Yes?
antilogicgirl: Cut that crap out! I'm about finished with you hentai idiots. Now. If you dont' want ME to kill your brother for you, stop me before I hurt him too badly.
Itachi: *backing away*
antilogicgirl: *evil grin* Now, Itachi, you were saying something about me being EASY? How the hell would YOU know?
Itachi:....
Kakashi: *pops soda can open* She has a point, yaro. Better get while the getting's good. Live to fight another day, or die by the hand of woman...
TBC
And our interlude continues!
antilogicgirl: *sitting on Itachi* Are you going to be nice and stop calling me names?
Itachi: Yes.
antilogicgirl: Yes, what?
Itachi: Yes...ma'am?
antilogicgirl: Good. *stands up* Now get up.
Itachi: *stands up and sits on couch* Why do I even come here anymore?
antilogicgirl: Because you're a masochist, and you like pain?
Itachi: ...
Sasuke: Sakura, Naruto, why don't we go train?
Sakura/Naruto: Sure, why not?
**DOOR SLAMS BEHIND TEAM 7**
antilogicgirl: Shouldn't you go and supervise them, Kakashi?
Kakashi: *sipping soda* Nah. They're ok on their own.
antilogicgirl: *watches Itachi stare down Kakashi* Um, I'll be right back.
Kakashi: What are you still doing here, weasel-boy?
Itachi: *rolls eyes* What about you, scarecrow?
*awkward silence...crickets chirping*
Kakashi: Soda?
Itachi: Sure.
antilogicgirl: *appears in pajamas and fuzzy bear slippers* Ok, boys. I have to go to school tomorrow. Time for me to sleep so you're gonna have to--
Kakashi: Share the bed with you to keep you warm?
Itachi: ...
antilogicgirl: You shameless pervert, you. As if I would get any sleep with BOTH of you in the bed. I dont' think I'd be able to dodge enough to keep my dignity!
Kakahsi: Who needs dignity?
antilogicgirl: Not you, apparently. *sigh* If you guys are staying, you're gonna have to keep your butts out of my bed. It's floor city for both of you.
Kakashi: Awww. But you love me!
antilogicgirl: *sadistic grin* Did I say that? Nope. I don't remember that at all.
Itachi: I'll sleep on the floor, if you really don't want me in the bed with you.
**crickets chirping...*
Kakashi: Reverse psychology ain't gonna work on her, weasel-boy.
antilogicgirl: Oh, crap. It's three in the morning. Shut up. I need sleep. *enters bedroom*
Kakashi: I'll be real quiet. Just let me sleep in the bed!
Itachi: Oh, no. If I have to suffer, so do you.
antilogicgirl: Will it shut you two up?
Kakashi/Itachi: Yes!
antilogicgirl: Fine. But if I get groped, even once, both of you are dead. I mean...really dead. I'll kill you.
Kakashi/Itachi: Yes, ma'am.
TBC
And the final chapter of our little cracked out interlude: The next morning
antilogicgirl: *throws alarm clock* Argh! I didn't get a bit of sleep...ugh.
Kakashi/Itachi:*sleeping like babies*
antilogicgirl:*frowns* you know, they have no right to be THAT cute when they're asleep... *climbs out of bed and puts on bear slippers* Time for breakfast...
**Refrigerator opening**
Kakashi:*jaw-cracking yawn from bedroom door* Hey, what'cha cookin'?
antilogicgirl: *sigh* I'm making an omlet for my breakfast. I have school today, remember?
Kakashi: Meh. Who needs school? Come back to bed.
Itachi:*still in bed* Hey, you guys...It's cold in here! Come back, or turn the heater on!
antilogicgirl:*rolls eyes* why are men so whiny in the morning? No, Kakashi. I'm not going back to bed, and it's time for the two of you to leave. And one more thing. Go put some clothes on.
Kakashi: *dances around in boxer shorts* But don't I look pretty?
antilogicgirl: *raises eyebrow* Probably too pretty. Now go put some clothes on.
Kakashi: Hmm. What did you say? *disappears, reappears WAY too close to antilogicgirl*
antilogicgirl: Hentai...
Itachi: Aw, geez, scarecrow...go put some pants on!*shakes head in doorway to kitchen*
Kakashi: *eyes widen sheepishly, disappears*
*Itachi stumbling into kitchen...not a morning person*
antilogicgirl: You poor thing. Are you ok?
Itachi: I'm fine. Do you have any coffee?
antilogicgirl: No. I hate the stuff. Tea?
Itachi: Even better. Where do you keep it?
antilogicgirl: Last cabinet on the left. I'll put the kettle on for you.
*Kakashi reappearing with soft poofing noise*
Kakashi: Awww. Now ain't that just real domestic. So, dear, I take it that weasel-boy is forgiven?
antilogicgirl: He can't help it if he's not a morning person. I'm a morning person, but that doesn't mean I have to like it
Kakashi: ... *eye roll* This joint's getting too wierd. I'm out. *disappears not to return*
Itachi: *sigh* I thought he would NEVER leave.
antilogicgirl: Me too. Hungry, sweetheart?
Itachi: Depends. What are you burning over there?
antilogicgirl:*pouts* First you insult me, then you insult my cooking? What next?
Itachi: How about a good morning kiss?
antilogicgirl:*hamster running on mind-wheel* Ok. But only after you brush your teeth. Remember yours is the RED toothbrush.
Itachi: Yes, dear. *rolls eyes, smiling* Make with the breakfast, will you? I have a lot of villainry to do today.*walks to bathroom*
antilogicgirl:*sigh* now, THAT'S domestic.
The end!!!
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Table of Contents
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Chapter notes: Yes, I'm very strange. And yes, this was on my profile. I needed to get it off of there, but I didn't want to get rid of it entirely. It's simply too fun (at least in my cracked-out brain). So, as Malvolio says in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, "Here it lies, in your eye. If not, be it his who finds it."
Legal Stuffiness: I don't own Naruto. Not even Sasuke (if I did, that would be far too fun. I would never have to clean again. Sasuke as a maid. Bad mental image!!!! *slaps hand* Bad author!)
Any time you see TBC, that's when I took a break from writing this. It isn't worth turning into a multi-chapter thing, so I just left the TBC dividers in. Flame me if you want, I don't care. This was in my head, now it's out, and I feel more sane for it. That is all.