Sakura made her way home in a fog. Events were moving so fast, it barely left her time to just think anymore. Asuma-sensei's funeral the day before, left Sakura feeling unusually tired and all of her spare time lately she'd spent with Ino. Having transcribed Shikamaru's hastily written notes regarding the Akatsuki members they fought, Sakura felt a chill. She still found it hard to believe that such shinobi existed, and worse they were after Naruto. Sakura pulled herself out of her thoughts and looked up at the slightly rundown building that held Naruto's apartment and wondered. How do you bear it Naruto? She felt a tear in her eye and immediately wiped it away, I don't have time to waste crying. I will find a way to help you and Sasuke-kun.
A short burst of light on the roof puzzled her until she caught sight of the figure on the darkened rooftop. It was a familiar silhouette, but she was still a little surprised to see Naruto sitting up there. He really should be resting. When the odd light reappeared, she noted it was emanating from his outstretched hand making her even more curious as to what he was up to. Heading up the stairs, Sakura knocked lightly on his door, but was not surprised when no one answered. After a moment or two of hesitation, she tried the door knob. It wasn't locked so Sakura went inside and tentatively looked about.
Expecting to be met with Naruto's normal chaos, she was surprised to find everything was in order. Usually his rooms were an explosion of stuff just...everywhere. In the kitchen a dried up plant on the table reminded her of her forgotten promise to water it. Naruto had freed it from its pot and now the plant's roots rested in shallow pan of water. Looking more closely at it, Sakura realized there was some new green on it.
A sound outside made her jump and Sakura half expected Naruto to scare the crap out of her by appearing upside down in front of her. She really did miss Naruto's antics far more than she thought she would and it made her a little sad to think that, that Naruto wasn't here anymore.
You never see him.
Sasuke's voice came unbidden from her memory, interrupting her thoughts and Sakura stopped as a moment of intense guilt gripped her. Strong enough that she almost gave in to the urge to turn around to go back the way she'd come. She didn't want to think that was still true, but since learning of the kyuubi, she found herself worrying over that more than Naruto. How could she possibly help Naruto with something like that? Sakura's inner self berated her lack of conviction and she silently reaffirmed her promise to herself to protect them both. While she wasn't actually sure how she would help Sasuke-kun, Sakura was confident she would somehow manage it.
Naruto...his problems were on a level she didn't fully understand. There was simply too much she didn't know about the bijuu sealed within him and it irked her that she'd still no idea how to help him. Captain Yamato seemed to think she already knew what she should do, but everything she tried so far went wrong and the feeling that she'd never be able to do more than little things wouldn't go away.
Sakura also decided standing in the middle of Naruto's kitchen staring at a dried up plant wasn't productive either, so with that thought in mind she poked her head into the next room. Still no Naruto, but the curtains fluttered as if to show her where she needed to go. Carefully stepping out onto the balcony into the warm night air, Sakura looked up to see that Naruto was still on the roof.
Dressed in a tee shirt and shorts, he was completely absorbed in whatever he was doing. He didn't notice her, as all of his concentration remained locked on the small, yellowish ball of light. As bits of it slipped through his fingers, Sakura recognized it as his chakra. What in the world was he doing? He couldn't possibly be training. Was he forgetting...?
“Naruto?”
At the sound of his name, Naruto fumbled with the chakra ball for a moment until it burst apart. “Yeouch!” he cried sticking two of his fingers in his mouth. When he looked down and realized it was her, he stared at her in disbelief for a moment then started to rise, saying, “Sakura-chan? What are you-”
“No, Naruto, don't get up,” she said quickly, “Would you mind if I joined you for a bit?”
Sakura smiled at his confused state, frozen in place he stared at her for a moment longer then cocked his head and said as he sank back down, “N-No, not at all.”
Sakura leapt up and settled down next to him and Sakura discovered she was at a curious loss for words. All the things she wanted to say tumbled about in her head and the overlong silence was making Naruto fidget. Out of habit she rested one hand on his shoulder and Naruto immediately stopped moving as she felt the muscles there tense up.
Even before he left to train with Jiraya, Naruto was one of the few people that had genuine confidence in her abilities. So why wasn't she consistently able to do the same for him? He'd left the village and come back as someone new, not unfamiliar, just different in ways she didn't anticipate. This was actually to closest thing to quiet time either one of them had had since he came back home. Curious again about what he was doing earlier, Sakura asked, “So, Naruto, what was that ball of chakra for?” When he didn't answer right away she nudged his arm and coaxed, “Was it something to do with your training?”
“No...not exactly.”
“Oh? Then what's it for?”
“A distraction.”
“Distraction?” That certainly wasn't the answer she was expecting, but she found herself getting angry. “Is this another one of your useless perverted jutsu, Naruto? Why do you waste your time on things like this?”
Naruto blinked at the outburst, but just as quickly shook his head, “No, no, Sakura-chan, you misunderstand. I'll-” he broke off when her frown deepened.
You never see him.
Again Sasuke-kun's remembered voice jolted Sakura out of her thoughts. I never...anger melted away as a sudden understanding of how she viewed Naruto settled into place. I never see him, she thought. Is that what he meant?
“I'm sorry, Naruto, what sort of distraction?”
Clearly confused by her turn of mood, Naruto scratched his nose and after a moment waved it off. He then went about trying to explain what he was doing with his chakra, but it was becoming obvious that the right words were just not in his head. As always, once Naruto learned the 'how' of something, the 'why' just escaped him completely. His haphazard explanation of wind element manipulation was starting to confuse Sakura so she waited for him to pause and suggested, “Why don't you just show me?”
Naruto smiled, visibly relieved that he wouldn't be doing anymore explaining. Lifting his right hand he focused on it until that ball of chakra reformed in his palm. This wasn't rasengan, it was too messy and the flows of his chakra spilled past his fingers. It looked a lot like he was holding a handful of noodles.
As the chakra reached a few centimeters past his hand, bits of it broke off. Those pieces drifted around his hand until the entire ball of chakra was used up. Flexing his fingers the bits of chakra flattened and took on the shape of hundreds of tiny leaves. Sakura was amazed, they were so small, but each one really did look like a leaf.
Quite suddenly the leaves winked out of sight and Naruto sighed.
“What happened?” Sakura asked.
“I can't hold it any longer than that. I want them to swirl a bit in the air, but this is as far as I've managed to get...I thought about using a kage bunshin to complete it but...”
“That would defeat the purpose,” Sakura finished for him.
“Yeah...maybe it is useless.”
Useless...
Even now that word brought up her own painful feelings of inadequacy and it disturbed her how Naruto's normally over abundant confidence was ebbing away as he tried to learn all over again how to rely on his own power. She could see that without a bit of shoring up, Naruto's personality could very well slip back into his old unsure, loud self. If she'd been paying proper attention she would have understood what Naruto meant when he proclaimed himself weak after their encounter with Sasuke. It wasn't because they'd failed again to bring Sasuke-kun back; Naruto was referring to his own inability to stop himself from using the kyuubi sealed within him.
Naruto was struggling. She couldn't ignore the added dimension of the kyuubi, but Sakura could see she needed to stop making assumptions about what Naruto was thinking. There was a lot more going on in his head than what kind of ramen he should have for dinner. She needed to rid herself of her old ideas of who Uzumaki Naruto was and work to understand the person he was trying to become. If in the past she'd taken Naruto's friendship for granted, Sakura decided that was going to change. Naruto may be loud, boastful, dense as a brick, and at times stubborn to the point of being infuriating, but he really was a better friend to her than even Ino. When a twinge of her earlier guilt welled up, Sakura squashed it. From this point on I move forward.
“No, I'm sure you'll catch the knack of it, Naruto,” Sakura said, “but you'll need to do it a lot quicker if you plan to distract someone with it. Maybe if you found a way to chop it into bits all at once...or maybe a scroll...” Sakura paused at the curious smile on her friend's face.
This was the little thing she'd overlooked though it was always something she could have done for Naruto. See him as he sees himself, as the future Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village.
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Table of Contents
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Story notes: If you dislike SPOILERS I suggest you stop reading right now. This whole mess take place POST TIME SKIP and deals with the characters as they exist in the Shippuden anime/manga.
Chapter notes: almost a character study...but not really
Chapter end notes: thanks for reading!