I still remember way back when we were still very young. When I was no taller than my father’s knee and he was no taller than I.

We were still very innocent and happy back then. We still are happy, but so many things cloud our innocence now.

I don’t remember, however, when I started to love him. Maybe it had been a long time ago, before we were in the Academy. Or maybe it had been sooner than that. I can’t remember now. But I know that I’ve loved him for a very long time.

He had always been so cheerful and upbeat. He never gave up no matter what and he had so much courage. Unlike me, who still cannot face him and tell him what I’ve wanted to tell him for so many years.

I’ve admired him for so, so long now. He hasn’t noticed me yet, but I’ve noticed him a long time ago. I might have been the first person to truly acknowledge him… But he never did know that.

I’ve watched him in secret, seeing him play with his friends, then by himself when they had to go home. I was so sad for him, but I was always too shy to approach him. Those times were the only times when I’ve seen him sad and unhappy. When he thought he was alone.

For a long while, I’ve wondered how he could always be so cheerful, even if he is sometimes faking it. But I love him for that. For his loved one and for his friends, he always manages to keep a smiling face. No matter how sad or upset he is, he’ll always keep smiling like there’s no tomorrow.

To me, his happiness is my top priority. As long as he is content, then I am as well.

Sometimes I am selfish and want him for myself, but I know that isn’t possible.

I learned that when we were still thirteen. I wanted him so badly to be in my team but when he was grouped up with Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura, I was disappointed. I wasn’t upset with my own teammates but I could feel that want I had in my heart.

Then, I could only wish that he would get along with his teammates and become a good ninja just like he had always wanted.

Our time together was never too much but every time I saw him with his teacher and two friends he was always very lively. It made me slightly jealous to see him pining after Sakura all the time and watch him get rejected. There are so many things to love about him I couldn’t understand why she would not accept him.

I know it must have been because of Sasuke that she rejected him.

I don’t know why but he never got along very well with Sasuke. All the time, I saw them arguing together and fighting. I never intervened their fights but only watched from the sidelines, cheering for Naruto, never believing that he would lose. He was always so persistent and hard-working.

It was hard to believe that someone as diligent as him existed on this world. Though most of the times he fooled around and messed up a lot I could see that he really meant well and didn’t mean to mess up on his missions. People didn’t understand him and hated him for some reason. I never understood that either.

Then I watched as he changed slowly but surely. His relationship with his friends and teacher got better, and I was so glad for him. He finally had friends that he could claim as his own.

He never really paid attention to me much, but I was so glad when he finally did during our Chuunin Exams. When he cheered me on and supported me like that, I felt as if I could do anything. For him, I tried my best to defeat my cousin. Although I failed in the end I knew that he was very proud of me for trying my hardest.

It was because of him that I worked so hard in those years after the exam. I remembered how enthusiastic he was for everything. How he would never give up no matter what. And I did it for him. I want to make him proud and make him smile at me in that way he always does.

I didn’t realize how quickly his friendship with Sasuke had grown though, until that day. The day when he was suddenly so crushed and dead looking, I feared for his health. I had always noted that they were on better terms after a while but the significance of their friendship did not strike me as too important. Until then.

My heart truly did break for him when I saw him spiral downwards after Sasuke’s betrayal to the village. For the time following after that incident, his ever-lasting smile didn’t grace his face again. He had lost his most important friend and there was nothing I could do to help. It hurt me so badly to know that there was nothing I could have done in order to cheer him up.

But somehow, I was not surprised when I heard that he was going to leave us in order to train and bring Sasuke back. It was almost if I had expected him to be so brave and leave Konoha and sacrifice so much in order to bring his best friend back. Someone who was important to him now.

I do not know if he realizes that there is almost next to no chance that Sasuke will return, but I will not tell him that. I know that no matter how many times someone tells him that or says that to him, he still will not give up. That is his personality and his outlook on life. No one can change that. Because that is his way of being a ninja.

For three years we were separated and I missed him so much. Hardly was there a day when I did not think of him and wish for his well-being. My wishes were granted when he finally returned to Konoha safe and sound. And once again, he had his smile on his face.

I didn’t expect to see him so soon though and I fainted when I saw him again. But he was so caring towards my health. I was happy. He was back.

There are times when I ponder if this love I hold for him is merely a crush or something else. I wonder if my love for him has changed over the years. Had it been simple admiration at first? Then did it become a true love? It’s so hard to tell now, but I know that I care for him so much.

Now, I am accompanying him to achieve his impossible dream to bring Sasuke back. I want to try my hardest and help him out. We might not be able to return to the village with Sasuke, but I will be there to comfort him. If not Sasuke, then I will be there to support him.

One day I will be able to tell him my feelings. I want him to know how much I care for him and how much I love him.

I’m still too timid to tell him now.

But I can wait.

I can be patient.

I’ll try my hardest not to be so shy anymore.

I’ll be able to look at him in his eyes and tell him that I love him.

I know I’ll be able to do that.

One day.

One day I’ll tell him.

I’ll tell him that I love him.

But for now I am happy with my simple existence and simply being with him.

Until that day comes I’ll be happy.