Narrator: This story takes place in 18th century Konoha, where there is one Hinata Baptista who has caught the eye of many a suitor, including one of our main characters, Kiba. Before she can wed, however, Batista-sama’s elder daughter, Sakura, who is a very difficult person, a shrew if you will, must first be married, and the man to do this taking, and marry, is our hero, Sasuke.
*Juggler, worker, other worker with large plank of wood that says “Act 1” and townspeople enter*
Worker 1 (Naruto): Hey Lee, what’s the matter with you, you dropped your brush.
Worker 2, with boards (Lee): *Swings to get brush*
Juggler *Shino*: *Almost gets hit* *Drops down to pick up ball and avoids boards*
Naruto: Hey Lee, you stupid or something, you almost hit him!
Lee: *Turns to see juggler* *Hits Naruto instead* *Runs out*
Naruto: *Runs after Lee*
*Sensio (Kiba) enters*
Kiba: *Goes up to townsperson* Good morrow sir, I am Kiba! I have hither to see fair Konoha…
Townsperson 1 (Shikamaru): You mistake me for someone who cares. *Leaves*
Kiba: *Goes to other townsperson* I am Kiba! I have come hither…
Townsperson 2 (Ino): *Holding cup* Oh look, that thing, it dropped. *Puts cup down* Excuse me *Leaves*
Bianca *Hinata*: *Appears to balcony*
Kiba: I am Kiba! I have come hither…
Townsperson 3 (Choji): I have more important places to be. *Leaves*
Kiba: *Sees Hinata* Soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
*Neji, Hinata, and various suitors come out of the Baptista house*
Neji: Yes gentlemen. Enough, enough, enough gentlemen! You are to pursue me no farther! Before my beautiful Hinata may wed, as I told thee…
Neji and suitors: I must find a husband for the elder.
Neji: As I have told those before, though Hinata be the cherished, Sakura must be married first. Only hence, and only hence, Hinata’s lovely hand will be made available. Remindful, I am the richest man in Konoha, and he who lands Sakura lands a dowry anyone would cry for. Now, are there any takers?
Suitors: No way! Are you crazy? What are you thinking?
Kiba: School and studies may one day bring home the bacon, but no profit grows where no pleasure is taken. Only standing betwixt me and Bianca is one act of faith. Simply, I say, for how hard can it be to find Sakura a mate?
Sakura: *From outside* Get out! Out! Out!
Suitor 1: *Falls to ground from Sakura’s direction*
Suitor 2: *Runs to suitor 1 and falls*
Suitor 3: *Runs and falls to other suitors*
Sakura: *Appears with broomstick* *Chases suitors around fountain while beating them with the broomstick* Run, heathens, run, and know what awaits you when you stop. As your mouth runs, so do your feet, and, well, from a poor defenseless woman, no less.
Suitor 3: Defenseless? Ha! Against what? An army, perhaps, or a lion instead?
Sakura: *Swings broom over suitors’ heads* You speak of animals! Could thou really be rats? Three blind rats, or not, for thou clearly gape and gawk at me.
Suitor 2: We have tried to woo thou and be rich, if you wouldn’t be such a…
Sakura: *Swings broom again* Enough! I should have thee rat tails removed to slice them off, but I will leave them there and give you this! *Throws broom at the suitors*
Suitor 2 and 3: *Knocked down*
Sakura: *Turns to suitor 1* Sir, look upon these two and be said, there is nothing
*Steps on Suitor 1's foot* more to give than a smack on thou head! *Smacks suitor 1*
Suitor 1: *Falls down, unconscious*
Sakura: *Walks to Neji, Hinata, and suitors* Father, is it your will for me to be married and taken up to auction to he who bid the highest? I will be dead before that happens! And to you, in order to marry me is to marry Hinata, your little angel! I will never…
Hinata: Sister, thou art dumb.
Sakura: *Death glares at Hinata*
Hinata: Eep! Wonder who said that.*Backs away behind Neji*
Sakura: Sister. *Turns to Neji* Father *Turns to town* Konoha! Goest thou to Hades! *Storms off set*
Kiba: The task is served that I must find a mate for Sakura, for only then will I wed Hinata.
*Petruchio (Sasuke) enters*
Sasuke: What’s shaking you all? To be, or not to be, that is the question.
Kiba: *Whispers to Sasuke* Wrong play.
Sasuke: *Backs off* Now is the winter of our discontent.
Kiba: *Comes up to Sasuke* Wrong play.
Sasuke: *Backs off* Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your…
Whole town: WRONG PLAY!
Sasuke: *Brings out script and starts reading* “Oto (Sound), for awhile, I take my leave my friends in Konoha.”?
Town: Yeah, yeah.
Sasuke: *Throws script over shoulder* I’ve come to see the world! *Takes pig roast, bites, and throws* *Takes ale tankard, drinks, and throws*
Suitors 1, 2, 3: *Take out swords*
Sasuke: *Take out swords* *Defeats suitors*
Suitor 1: *Jumps up* *Laughs manically*
Sasuke: *Pushes suitor against wall*
Suitor 1: *Runs manically* Ha ha! *Runs into wall* *Falls unconscious*
Suitor 2: Ha ha! *Pushes Sasuke up stairs*
Sasuke: *Jumps off stairs* *Stabs suitor* *Knees suitor in the butt*
Suitor 2: *Falls unconscious*
Suitor 3: *Wakes up* *Holds Sasuke against swords*
Sasuke: *Grabs swords* *Knees suitor in stomach*
*Asian ninja comes running in*
Ninja: *Falls on way* *Gets up again* *Attempts to kick Sasuke*
Sasuke: *Holds ninja’s foot and pushes him back*
*Second Asian ninja comes in*
Sasuke: *Gets ready for big punch* *Pokes ninja instead*
Ninja 2: *Falls*
Kiba: Gadzooks! Is there a fellow in all the land more hale and hearty than this?
Sasuke: I’ve come to live and wed wealthily in Konoha!
Kiba: *Comes up to Sasuke* Good sir, stay! What unusual good fortune that we meet here and now, since I hear you say you’ve come to wed wealthy in Konoha.
Sasuke: Pray, sir! Yey, sir! I dare say I did say.
Kiba: Yey, sir! You do say! You did say, sir.
Sasuke: Yey, I say. Why do you pray? Do not gain say what I say, that head-well.
Kiba: Hooray for this day and the words that you say. Forgive my display, I have something to say.
Sasuke: Okay, fire away. *High-fives Kiba*
Kiba: *Puts arm around Sasuke’s shoulders* There’s such a woman in Konoha meeting your needs. She is wealthy and in dire need of a suitor. Interested?
Sasuke: Doth bears bear-eth? Doth bees bee-eth?
Kiba: Off to a tavern, I have a story for thee.
Sasuke: For more beer, I’ll let you tell three.
*Both leave stage*
Story notes: CAST LIST:
Katarina Baptista: Haruno Sakura
Petruchio: Uchiha Sasuke
Bianca Baptista: Hyuuga Hinata
Senor Baptista (Baptista-sama): Hyuuga Neji
Sensio: Inuzuka Kiba
Worker 1: Uzumaki Naruto
Worker 2: Rock Lee
Townspeople: Nara Shikamaru, Choji Akimichi, Yamanaka Ino, Aburame Shino
Chapter notes: TSF: Hey all! This is my try at rewriting a Shakespeare play that was rewritten by a funny comedy crew.
Temari: Don't get used to me and ShikaTema not being in there!
TSF: Anyway, sorry, I also didn't put Naruto as a big character.
Temari: The characters also don't exactly fit the characters' personality from the story.
TSF: So another HUGE sorry! I just thought I needed to put a good SasuSaku in :).
Temari: AND KibaHina.
TSF: So, I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, TAMING OF THE SHREW, OR EVEN THE STORY LINE! I just used the script from my 5th grade play XD.
Temari: No infriggment intended!
TSF: I see many things, including you getting bored to tears by this long chapter note, but I don't see me making money off of this.
Temari: Also, I'm taking over as Narrator!
Temari: So let's start the story!
Chapter end notes: Thanks for reading! R&R kindly please! Again, MAJOR sorry for the OOCness in there!