Something Like Marital Bliss
Temari couldn't bake worth shit. It was commonly known among the village that Temari wasn't exactly a girlie-girl, but before their marriage Shikamaru'd had no concept of just how much the traditional wife he would be.
“Cookies,” he repeated her.
“They want them with their lunches,” Temari clarified, waving a hand. “Just throw some together or something. How long could it take?”
Yeah, Temari had never quite caught on to the concept that not only was there the time to make the dough and the icing to go on top, but the cookies also needed to spend some actual time in the oven first.
“More than ten minutes,” Shikamaru told her.
“Normally you just whip some out and hand them over.” Temari looked at him as if she thought he was holding out on her. “A little extra sugar won't kill them, you know.”
Shikamaru wondered how he was the supposedly responsible parent, the one to worry about insulin shock and blood sugar crashes. He bit off the usual argument, the retort that their children weren't Ino and Chouji's and didn't need those extra calories for special blood limit reasons.
“Forget my actual desire to feed our spawnlings insane amounts of distilled sugar—”
“You make that shit out of oatmeal and raisins!” Temari protested.
“—Someone's already eaten them all in an attempt at hooking the latest addition early.” Shikamaru pointedly did not look at Temari and the gentle curve of her stomach, growing with child and likely stuffed full of oatmeal, raisin, milk, and other miscellaneous ingredients; in there was far, far more butter and sugar than Sakura had prescribed in Temari's daily diet.
“Usually you have two tins.” Temari was shameless. “One out where I can reach on top of the cabinet and one hidden. I ate the hidden one, but left the other untouched.”
“The eldest figured out how to make shadows affect material objects three days ago.”
“And you gave him all the cookies in reward?” Temari's tone was doubtful, but she was sending him the “you hypocrite” look now.
“No,” said Shikamaru.
It sunk in. “And you didn't make more?”
There were no words to describe how troublesome married life could be.
“I've been on a mission the past two days!”
“So what were you doing yesterday?”
Shikamaru just looked at her. She grinned in sudden remembrance. “Oh, yeah. Chouji and Ino baby-sat.” She hummed happily to herself at some related memory. It passed quickly. “Wait. What do we give the little brats to tide their hunger for baked goods? I'm taking the lot of them out to the woods. There's no time to come back for dessert.” Her eyes widened in dawning horror. “Shikamaru. Honey. Baby. You can't leave me out there with no sweets to fend them off.” Temari'd quickly gotten good at begging over the years, cutting quickly to the point. “I'll die, cold and alone in the forest, taking all our genius children with me.”
Shikamaru sighed and pulled out another tin from one of the upper cabinets. “Scones,” he said. She continued to look pitiful. “They have chocolate chips in them.”
Temari brightened, tugging them out of his hands. She pried open the lid, peering inside. “Ooo, these look scrumptious.” She ruffled his hair with her unoccupied hand, not so much as looking his way. The spark was gone.
Temari grinned—friendly, fierce once more. “Well, I'm off, then!” She tossed the tin into the large basket Shikamaru had painstakingly prepared against the possibility of starvation, heaving it up easily with one hand. She turned to leave. “Oh. Yeah. Nearly forgot.” She turned back to him, pulled him close, and kissed him hard—licking her way into his mouth for one breathless moment—before pulling away. “Thanks for the cookies.”
With that, she left. Shikamaru stared after her, a little dazed at the whirlwind of her departure.
Yeah, Temari couldn't bake worth shit. But damn if there weren't some benefits to being the good housewife at times.
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Story notes: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Shikamaru/Temari fluff/crack written for a prompt.
Chapter notes: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.