Sasuke's heart was pounding in his chest as he walked with Naruto. His stomach was heaving and his lungs didn’t seem to agree with each other. He felt like he was trying to breath out and in at the same time. Neither man had spoken. The silence was tense, and slightly awkward... but not as uncomfortable as one would expect. Maybe they were both too nervous to feel uncomfortable in the silence; they were too distracted by the inner tension that riddled their bodies. Even though they were walking side by side, Sasuke was controlling their directions. This comforted him slightly; Sasuke was someone who liked to be in control. And for the past week... well month really... he hadn't felt in control. This tiny grasp on his usual mindset helped steady the Uchiha.
Naruto was almost crawling out of his skin next to the impassive Uchiha. Every now and then Naruto would steal a glance at the man next to him... and wanted to kick him for looking so composed and calm.
'How is he doing that? He looks so... calm. I don’t know... shouldn’t he be the nervous one?!'
Naruto really hadn’t fully absorbed the implications of Sasuke's written confession. Naruto wasn’t one hundred percent sure if Sasuke had meant what it seemed like he meant... so he was reserving judgment. In reality, the only thing Naruto could think about for an extended period of time at the moment was how nervous he was. In another situation he might appreciated how heightened his senses had become. It seemed like he could see so much more in the dusky light than he ever had before, and the rustles and quiet sounds seemed to boom in his ears. While this heightened parasympathetic nervous system might come in handy in certain situations, being able to feel every time he brushed against Sasuke, even the lightest touch, was certainly not helping. Naruto wasn’t sure where they were going. He was following Sasuke, who seemed to have some kind of destination in mind.
The men walked in silence for the entire trip. It wasn’t that long a walk, only about 10 minutes, but the nerves had dragged time out for days and days, and Naruto was relieved when Sasuke came to a stop. They were in a part of a park Naruto had never been too. Naruto broke the silence.
"Is this where you want to..."
Sasuke nodded
"I come here to think. Not many people know about this spot... it’s a little hard to find. We shouldn’t be disturbed."
Naruto nodded.
They had turned off the sidewalk about five minutes into the journey, entering a park in the estate area. They walked along the path for a while, before Sasuke decided to go for a little hike. Pushing their way through trees and shrubs had been a little difficult, but Sasuke came here often and was used to it, and Naruto was a very fit person. Their little trek led them down to the lake that was in the park. There was a significant amount of concreted footpath dedicated to the lakeside, but Sasuke didn’t like the distraction of people walking around him, so he had decided to find his own spot of the lake, which ultimately lead him to discovering this spot. It was a small clearing at the lake's edge, surrounded by tall, thick trees. The ground was dry and firm and Naruto lowered himself to the ground, looking out at the lake. Sasuke sat down next to him, close, but not uncomfortably so. They were quiet for a while, watching the sun fall behind the shimmering horizon, the sun's last rays reflected on the lake. Naruto sighed, and spoke again, but never took his eyes off the water in front of him.
"So... I read your journal."
"I imagine that you would have."
Naruto rolled his eyes.
"What, is being a bitch your fallback when you are nervous."
Sasuke didn’t say anything. Naruto breathed out heavily.
"Feel like elaborating on it at all?"
"Not really."
Naruto just laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed. Sasuke was a little concerned.
"So, you come out with something like that, but lose the nerve to tell me what you meant by it? Come on Uchiha... I thought you had a little more spine than that."
Naruto suddenly found the situation a little funny... though he wasn’t sure why... maybe his brain cracked from the pressure...
Sasuke wasn’t laughing though. He was very serious, and spoke very quietly.
"You didn’t understand?"
Naruto sobered. His voice was just as quiet and just as serious.
"I don’t know. I want you to explain it too me."
Sasuke struggled with himself for a moment
"I... I can’t."
"Why the hell not Sasuke?"
Naruto didn’t mean to... but he was getting angry. Sasuke was being so difficult... all he wanted was a straight answer!
"Because, God damn it, I don’t know how!"
"Well figure it fucking out!"
Naruto had gotten to his feet, glaring down at Sasuke. Sasuke gracefully got to his feet glaring back.
"It’s not that easy!"
Naruto shoved Sasuke in the chest
"Make it easy."
Sasuke shoved him back
"Oh wow... thanks for the advice asshole. That really helps."
Naruto shoved him again, harder
"Stop being a whiny little bitch and answer the question."
Sasuke shoved Naruto harder again
"Don’t fucking judge me; you have no idea what I’m going through right now!"
Shove.
"No idea what your going through?! Well explain it to me then!"
"Get fucked!"
Naruto had had a gutful of Sasuke and his attitude. He stepped back, panting slightly. Sasuke glared at him, and he glared right on back.
"You little bastard... you give me all these mixed signals... you write me this journal, confessing god knows what, and then you drag me out here to explain... and then you have the nerve to tell me to get fucked?! You worthless piece of shit!"
Naruto started out talking very quietly, all his rage contained. By the end he was yelling, and at the last word he threw himself at Sasuke, punching him right in the jaw. Sasuke was knocked to the ground. He didn’t stay there for long. He shot up and tackled Naruto to the ground, pinning him under his weight. They were going at each other for all they were worth, blows flying everywhere. At some point Naruto had turned the tables on Sasuke, who was now under the blonde, barely able to move from the other man's grasp. Sasuke was nearly beat, both men were exhausted, but there was still one good punch left in him. His right fist connected with the left side of Naruto's jaw, knocking him back and off him. Both men lay eagle spread on the ground, gasping for breath. No words were spoken; none were needed. That fight had been the best thing for them both. All the tension, all the uncertainty had been literally beaten out of them, and they were now too exhausted to worry about it. Sasuke's breath came in ragged sobs as relief flooded over him. For the first time in years he felt... good. Free. The barriers that had been holding in the good and the bad had been torn completely down, and the overwhelming tide of emotions that came with that had been fuel in the fight. All Naruto's frustrations and confusion had dissipated somewhere between hitting Sasuke in the stomach and being punched in the teeth. There was something about the fight... everything that was there before had been beaten out. All they both knew at the moment was the thudding of their hearts, the burning in their chests, the dull aches from where punches had landed, and the satisfying feeling of... contentment.
After they had both caught their breath, Naruto sat up and crawled over to where Sasuke lay.
"You know... you never answered my question."
"Do you want to know?"
Naruto paused to think. Did he really want to know? He had a pretty good idea... ok so he already knew what Sasuke meant. But did he want to hear Sasuke tell him and remove all trace of doubt? And what was his response to that? Did he even know? Before the kiss it had been so easy to think of Sasuke as the little brother he never had... the very attractive little brother he never had. But since then it had been virtually impossible to think that way. And not just because the idea of being attracted to his brother freaked him out... No... It was because he was attracted to Sasuke. It was because he really cared for the boy. And it was because he wasn’t sure if he was content with the relationship they had. He wanted more of Sasuke. He wasn’t going to lie to himself. He had no problem admitting he wanted the other man. But was he willing to go into this? Was he willing to risk his career and his reputation for this? That was the question he needed to know the answer to. And Sasuke knew it as well. Sasuke knew that if Naruto asked him to continue that he was expressing his feelings as well. And that he was willing to risk it.
Naruto lay down on his back next to Sasuke. He still wasn’t sure what he would do. Sasuke was waiting for a sign. Naruto was waiting for an answer. He knew he had to make a decision. After all, he had just spent the last hour or so beating up Sasuke because he wasn’t able to make a decision... he could hardly plead the same thing. He made up his mind. His heart was in his throat as he spoke.
"You know what?"
Sasuke's heart was pounding. This was it. Naruto was either going to return his feelings or reject him. Sasuke tried to convince himself he was prepared for anything. Truth is he wasn’t. He didn’t know what he'd do if Naruto rejected him. He couldn’t go back to the way he was... Naruto had torn down his walls. He couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen; it would always been awkward. And this time, Sasuke wasn’t sure he'd be able to force his feelings away. He hadn’t felt like this for anyone. Even what he felt for Gaara seemed to pale in comparison. Could Sasuke deal with Naruto rejecting him? He didn’t know. So when the blonde started talking, he prepared himself to jump in the lake if necessary.
"You know what?"
"No... Why don’t you tell me?"
Naruto took a deep breath. This was it. Sasuke could feel the blood pounding around his body, could hear it crashing in his ears
"I think... you should explain what you meant more fully."
Sasuke had braced himself for the worst. And his eyes widened as he realised that the worst had not come.
"What?" he asked. Naruto chuckled nervously
"Come on now... don’t tell me you don’t want to anymore."
Sasuke rolled over and straddled the blonde man, sitting on him.
"You want me to explain do you?" he asked throatily.
"Yeah... I think that would be best" replied Naruto, in his husky bedroom voice. Sasuke smiled the most genuine smile Naruto had ever seen. He leant down, closing the gap between himself and Naruto and gave him a sweet, chaste kiss.
"Does that explain it?"
Naruto smiled, and used his heavier body to roll over so he was now straddling Sasuke.
"Oh... it helps. But I think this explains it better" And Naruto leant down and caught Sasuke's lips again, but this was anything but chaste. Heat coursed between the two boys as they kissed. Naruto sucked and nipped at Sasuke's lower lip, practically begging for entry, which Sasuke gladly gave. Naruto's tongue invaded Sasuke's mouth in the sweetest possible way. Flicks and strokes sent Sasuke into a big pool of goo under Naruto's capable, and well practiced hands and tongue. After the unfortunate need for air broke them apart, Naruto grinned at the man under him.
"Does that explain it better?"
Sasuke smirked back
"You know what? I think it does... sensei."
Naruto grinned, and kissed him again... all the while getting very naughty ideas that involved him "teaching" Sasuke... after all... he did enjoy being called sensei.
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Fin
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Chapter notes: Naruto isnt mine!!!
Ok so I really really really want to know what you think about this chapter. I dont know... but you know... I hope you guys like it. If you dont... please tell me!!!!! There is an alternate way for this chapter to go... i just didnt write it... i thought this one was a little better... but you know... PLEASE TELL ME!!! And Im sorry its short. Things have been going rather shit lately and updating has been hard, and I could only manage this. I know I said I'd update more often to make up for the shortness... and Im sorry I havent been able to do that. But enough from me... I hope you like this!
Chapter end notes: There we go... I hope you like it and please review! I love everyone of them even if i dont always reply... Im just swampped!!! But I love you anyway!
LittleCrane