Ino,shikamaru,choji "You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be so hard for three horny teammates to figure out how they fit. And yet.
"Oh... Okay. So how do we do this?" choji grinned at his teammates, somewhat manically.
He was standing by the bed; he was the only one. ino had made a beeline for the window and its fascinating view of the stables, and shikamaru hadn't taken any more steps than strictly necessary to close the door behind him.
"Why are you asking us?" shikamaru snapped, arms crossed defensively over his chest.
"Hah! You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." choji wriggled his fingers suggestively. "Surely he had, you know, interesting tricks."
ino winced at the reminder of shikamaru's absence, and quickly stepped between the two bristling boys. "We are NOT using snakes," she declared emphatically, discreetly stepping on choji's toes to teach him not to mention Orochimaru at all. Way to ruin the moment, idiot.
"Ew, I wasn't thinking about snakes! You've got a dirty mind, ino.
"What the hell makes you think I would have learned to use snakes for that?" shikamaru added, giving her an incredulous look. ino blushed and smiled sheepishly.
"Ohoo, ino has fantasies--OOF."
"choji" she growled. "Shut up if you don't want to leave this room through the wall."
ino let go of choji's collar, glaring at him. He folded in two and slumped on his knees with a choked whimper, and then grinned disarmingly at her, still wheezing. Mollified against her best judgment, she gave him a hand up.
ino watched them from his spot against the door, arms still crossed defensively, expression shuttered. ino and choji exchanged a worried look, and advanced toward shikamaru in unison. He scowled as they flanked him, and he drew himself up as if to put a little more distance between them.
"You know, you're too damn tall," choji remarked with a thoughtful tilt of the head.
There was a pause. And then, "It's not my fault you're a runt."
ino breathed out as the rising tension in the room petered out.
"Oi! I'm not a runt, you're a freaking beanpole -- my arms are twice as big around as yours! Right, ino, tell him!" choji shrugged off his jacket and flexed his biceps. "See? A runt, he says -- hah!"
"... My apologies," shikamaru commented dryly.
choji gave shikamaru a weirded-out look, mouth open in shock.
ino continued, slow and deliberate. "You're not a runt. You're a dwarf."
This time, ino didn't step between them in time.
She had to admit, though, that the sight of a tank-top-wearing choji wrestling a kimono-wearing shikamaru to the floor wasn't really...
Um.
Wasn't really... What had she planned to think again? She was a little distracted.
... Wasn't ...too objectionable? At this early hour, the other patrons of the inn wouldn't be too bothered anyway -- ohh, a bare shoulder. And she really needed to figure out why the sight of splayed fingers barely emerging from a large kimono sleeve made her mouth go dry.
Or maybe it was shikamaru's knee between choji's legs. Or choji square, tanned hand bunching up fabric at shikamaru's collarbone.
Or the way their rolling around was just a little bit more vicious than it had been when they'd been children and they were about to knock over the bedside table. "If you break anything, it will come out of your pay," she commented, trying to sound stern.
They ignored her. They were too busy with each other.
Their rolling around made the little table wobble perilously. They ignored that, too.
She caught the table by two of the feet and smashed it against the wall just over their heads. Splinters of wood rained down on their suddenly very still bodies.
"... That's gonna come out of your pay," choji commented cautiously from his spot underneath shikamaru.
"Shut up, choji."
shikamaru was giving her that strange look that said he didn't know who she was anymore. It hurt, like every time she'd gotten it; she was glad, though. Like he was meeting her anew. No more silly misconceptions this time around.
"We didn't come here so I could watch you two fight," she reminded them both, voice wavering briefly at the memory of their real goal. "If you're going to fight, I'm going to fight, too."
"No way!" choji protested as he scrambled up, shoving shikamaru off him. "I'm not fighting with you."
shikamaru scoffed at him. "You sound scared."
choji wrinkled his nose. "Hell yes I'm scared. That punch you got in the face, yeah, you remember the one? It was a love tap compared to what ino can do when she puts her mind to it. Seriously, she's almost as scary as the old hag."
shikamaru stiffened and glared at choji, and then at ino, briefly. He didn't seem to like the reminder that she'd caught him by surprise and laid him flat once. ino gave him a hurt look; and then she clenched her teeth and her fists. "So you don't want to brawl with me?"
"Ehh. It's not that kind of rolling around on the floor I wanna do with you," choji quipped, grinning quickly at her.
He -- barely -- managed to dodge her fist; but that was because he'd tripped on shikamaru's foot and landed on his ass.
"Asshole!"
"What'd I say?"
"So I'm good enough to -- to fuck, but not good enough to fight?"
choji looked so aghast that she was instantly mollified, and shikamaru's taken-aback look soothed her a little farther.
"No! Nonononono, that wasn't what I meant, I meant -- I meant -- shikamaru!"choji stared insistently at their third teammate, as if shikamaru could tell him what he meant.
Which, of course, he could. Even if his cold and detached tone tried to deny any actual acknowledging of the subject as more than an abstract conversation piece. "Your style of fighting isn't adapted to brawling in close quarters. You're lighter and you don't have as much pure physical strength; you would have to use your chakra-enhanced punches. And once you use your chakra," he added grudgingly, "you win."
choji jumped into the opening. "Yeah! Like, by breaking bones and all. It's fun to spar with you when we've got some space to move around, but not so much in a room, 'cause if you touch us we're gonna be in a world of pain. And that kind of brawling -- it's not a real fight or even sparring; it's not supposed to end up with more than a few bruises."
Placated, she smiled fondly at them both. "Liars."
"... Hey! We're not."
"Uh huh," she replied, still smiling, as she sat gingerly on the edge of the bed.
choji knelt up by the bed, his elbows on the mattress as he looked up at her. "It's true. You don't believe me? We really think -- mmh."
ino wasn't sure when she had closed her eyes; but she didn't want to open them. It was easier if she just concentrated on the kiss -- fun and teasing and so very like choji -- and not on how shikamaru was taking it, because if she started worrying about him and whether or not he was brooding, she would lose her nerve, and then she wouldn't be able to reach out, feel around for his shoulder, and then reel him in.
shikamaru growled in her mouth as she kissed him, too; but he didn't break her hold to find a better position. She cupped his cheeks with both hands and leaned over him, and she thought about the trust it took for him to allow himself being so vulnerable, even for a few seconds of humoring her.
She had to let shikamaru go when choji clambered up on the bed, jostling her.
"Hey! Be careful --"
THWACK.
"--OW."
shikamaru snorted at his teammates as they rubbed their smarting foreheads in unison.
"I told you to be careful!"
"It's not my fault the mattress springs are worth shit!"
ino glared. "Maybe you'd like sleeping on the floor better then. To, say, spare the springs."
choji wilted. "...No ma'am."
ino tried really hard to keep from smiling -- but when she looked at shikamaru, he was resolutely avoiding looking their way, with his lips firmly pressed into a not-quite-stern curve.
"You two are completely ridiculous." choji tried to protest, but shikamaru just kept talking over him. "So are we going to do this or not? Because the room is paid for the night, not the month."
choji scowled at him, eyebrows scowling hard and cheeks puffed up. "Like you can lecture us, you--"
"Sex."
The two boys froze and stared at ino, who pretended valiantly that her cheeks weren't trying to match her top.
"Ess. Ee. Ex. Sex. Sex is the topic. All discussion pertaining to other topics is heretofore banned."
choji stared at her dreamily, his eyes twinkling in amusement. "... I think that was the most boner-making thing I've heard all day. Say something nerdy again!"
"choji!" she protested, grabbing a pillow to hit him with it. choji burst out laughing, and tried to pull it from her hands.
He pulled too hard, but luckily the pillowcase was made of solid stuff, which kept the down inside where it was supposed to be. In the end, she was the one who ended up all over choji, knocking him back onto the bed. She lifted her nose from his tank-top-clad chest and stared up at him, reddening once again.
"... Hi there."
...choji really did have an erection. Or, well, the beginning of one. The shift in their relationship was still so recent that half of her was tempted to hit him over the head and screech at him for being a disgusting pervert. The rest was too busy blushing.
And visualizing.
"Good," shikamaru commented sarcastically as he sat on his heels, watching them from the side of the bed. "Now try it without the clothes on. I hear it helps."
ino scrambled back, making choji yelp as she kneed him dangerously high in the thigh. He curled up protectively around his groin and rubbed his thigh, pouting at her. "Hey, that's gonna leave a bruise."
"If you ask her to kiss it better, I'm going to hurl."
choji scowled harder, even though his lips were quivering suspiciously. "Oh, like you have better lines, mister 'gets-groupies-by-looking-hot-and-playing-hard-to-get'! How'd you propose we get to it then, eh? Better ideas?"
shikamaru gave him a long, bored look. "... By just getting to it?"
choji sat at the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands, and made a face at shikamaru. "You really have no clue either, huh."
"I have a suggestion," ino proposed, trying hard not to stare at the rather prominent bump in choji pants. "Because I'm not jumping into it just like that -- I mean, we haven't even made out that much -- well, not today at least -- and... Well."
"Yeah?"
"Every time someone has an argument... They have to kiss."
"Ooh, like a penalty? Hehe. That sounds real scary."
shikamaru stared at ino, eyes narrowed in suspicion, and she gave him an innocent grin, cheeks burning. "Yes?"
"...Well played, ino."
"I don't see what you mean." ino laughed, a bit too loudly. "Um... We could get undressed, maybe!"
The thought of his partners naked distracted choji for all of two seconds; shikamaru eye-rolling was too much to ignore. "Yeah, yeah, we should -- but what the hell are you on about, bastard?"
shikamaru unfolded from his crouch with a deliberate slowness. "Sex is good, bickering is bad, right?"
"Well, duh. That's only what we've been bitching about for the last hour," choji retorted, snickering.
shikamaru went to the window, and closed the blinds. "And when you're kissing, you usually don't talk, right?"
ino squinted to keep track of shikamaru as he moved back to them in the dark.
"...Yeah?"
"And who argues the most amongst the three of us?" shikamaru added with weary, haughty patience as he stopped in front of the bed.
"Well, us. And you don't need to take that tone, asshole!"
"E-xact-ly. Retard."
"Hey! I'm not a retard, you -- mmph."
shikamaru pushed choji back onto the bed, leaning over him; choji resisted, one hand on the mattress and the other pulling on the collar of shikamaru's kimono to get him to stop making choji crane his neck so much. From what she could see in the darkened room, their lips were mashed together, and they were growling; ino pouted and crossed her arms as they kiss-fought. Or maybe hugged herself as she imagined what it might be like to be between them; she had a hard time deciding which.
And then she kicked them both, because she hadn't kissed either of them half that long and it wasn't fair, damn it.
"... Sorry."
She looked up at shikamaru, startled by his annoyed, put-upon, muttered apology. From him, the words were worth his weight in gold. She couldn't help it; she stammered, feeling guilty for her jealous reaction. "Ah -- it's -- it's alright, I just --"
"Alright! Naked time."
choji whipping off his tank-top was a rather efficient mood-breaker. Topic-changer. Or something.
"choji!"
"What? We gotta get naked sometime. As the bastard said, we're paying for a night, not for a month."
choji's shirt had landed on the shoes by the door. It was quickly followed by his pants. ino eeped, and peeked through her fingers at his patterned green and orange briefs. They should have broken the mood right there; but... His, er, Little choji was at half-mast; and then, as she watched, it started, um, lifting the sail.
When she glanced up at choji's face, he was beaming at her. Busted. But then, it was hard to say without much light, but shikamaru was probably looking, too, and oh, god. That was so not a bump in shikamaru's kimono. It was... a fold of the cloth. Yes. Something like that.
"ARGH!" She shot off the bed, shaking her head as if that could get rid of the stupidest train of thought ever. What was it with her sudden pure-maiden crap? She wrenched her zipper down -- it jammed between her breasts, and she pulled again, frustrated. There -- she squirmed out of her top, reached for the large white straps holding her skirt in place.
They were staring at her as if she'd gone crazy. She glared back at choji, lounging on the bed and looking sinfully hedonistic as he gave her still bound breasts speculative looks, and at shikamaru, standing tall and proud and all suggestive with his tease of a half-open kimono.
They looked like a fine study in the differences between porn and erotica. But her imagination had been stimulated more than enough in the last years, and even more so in the last days; so when she kicked off her skirt and sent it toward the direction of her abandoned boots, it was to whirl on shikamaru and point a finger at his chest. "You. Naked. Now."
shikamaru blinked slowly at her, in a clear 'does insanity run in your family, woman?' manner. ino closed and opened her hands, frustrated, but not enough just yet to invade his personal space and manhandle him out of his clothes.
choji manhandled him for her -- a tug, and shikamaru's belt flew off. ino caught a flash of pale hip, the line of a thigh; and then shikamaru pulled his kimono closed once again. This time, he held it in place firmly, with an accompanying deathglare at Naruto.
shikamaru opened his mouth, a blistering reply visibly on the tip of his tongue; ino tensed. "Ahh! No fighting or else you have to kiss again."
"...And that's a problem how?" choji drawled, and laughed.
shikamaru snorted and his shoulders relaxed slightly; ino breathed out. shikamaru had so many personal space hang-ups, even when he actually gave people permission to touch him and molest him and have sex with him...
"Come on, shika-kun," she said softly as she tugged the bandages around her chest loose, reddening again under their gazes. She had a hundred words on the tip of her tongue, but none of them seemed to fit. "Just -- please."
He watched her, eyes unreadable; and then he stepped forward and reached up to touch her wrist. She didn't protest, let him slowly pull her forearm away from her bare breasts. Her heart was in her throat; when he took that last step and stood against her, she felt her knees shake. She threw her arms around his neck and clung, even as he tensed in surprise; and when his kimono opened between them as he cautiously slipped an arm around her waist, she hid her face against his neck and moaned softly. She had expected his skin to be cool somehow, fitting his pallor; it wasn't.
He was warm against her belly; warm and hard, and getting harder. He breathed in, lips brushing the lobe of her ear; she whimpered.
"... Hey, shikamaru, you dick, get your stupid clothes off. I can't see anything."
ino lifted her head from shikamaru's shoulder just enough to glare at choji from under shikamaru's chin.
"Though if you like doing it half-clothed so much, you shoulda told ino-chan to take off the shorts and keep the skirt. Oh, and put the boots back on. ...Man, that would be hot. Just glimpses and teases and stuff..."
"Should we perform for you, choji-sama?" she growled.
"That would be great!" he replied sunnily.
"All right. Then you can stay right here," she said as she pointed at the old armchair in the corner, "and we'll be over there."
"... But then I can't touch you."
"That's the point of a performance," shikamaru drawled as his thumb rubbed a little arc on ino's bare back, just over the line of her black biker shorts. "We perform. You watch. From afar."
"You're so mean." choji crossed his arms and reclined against the wall, giving them a stubborn look. "And since you're picking a fight with me, I want kisses from you both."
"And we should... What? Crawl on the bed after you?" shikamaru asked haughtily, giving choji's reclining shape a once-over that wasn't as annoyed as it should have been.
"Yep. But lose the underwear first."
"That's -- the nerve!" ino protested. "And you're still wearing your briefs anyway!"
choji blinked. "Oh yeah." And then, instead of moving to sit up from his sprawl, he propped his heels on the edge of the bed, knees slightly spread, lifted his hips off the mattress, shoulders still in contact with the bed, and pushed his underwear down his thighs. His erection bobbed happily when it was suddenly freed from the briefs, slapping against his belly with a distinctive little thwack.
shikamaru blinked. "... That's obscene."
choji grinned evilly. "Yeah, but I bet it got you hot."
ino couldn't help it, she started to laugh. "You... Pervert. Unrepentant pervert. Don't ever change."
choji grinned in echoing amusement as he sat up; ino was a little distracted by the play of muscles under the skin covering his abdominals. "I don't plan on it."
"... Well, don't change in private. Embarrassing us in public is a different matter."
"As if I would!" choji snickered. "Oh, wait."
She let go of shikamaru's neck and placed her hands on choji's thigh to brace herself for a kiss. He spent most of it cross-eyed, trying to get a good look at her breasts; she pretended she wasn't catching glimpses of his very... erect erection.
"... Niice. Your turn, bastard." choji made a kissyface at shikamaru; when shikamaru reluctantly stepped closer, choji gestured for him to stop, though.
"What now?"
"Get rid of your kimono."
Growling in annoyance, shikamaru let the kimono slide down his arm, and then threw it at the chair in the corner. He stood, hands on his hips, challenging; choji gave his body a long, deliberating look, and then snickered. "I feel cheated. With these kinda clothes, you should be wearing that ritual thong-thing, not boxers."
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