Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto. We make absolutely no money from writing this fic. *sigh*
Greetings all! This is a collab story. Meaning there are two authors writing this story. If you would like to know more about us feel free to view our own personal profiles under the names of Animehead and SamaSurreal.
This story involves a Sasuke and Naruto pairing, however, many of the lemons will be done over the computer. In other words, CYBERSEX!
As always, thanks for reading and feel free to review! Reviews make us happy!
~Animehead & Sama~
Not beta'd. Any takers?
Naruto knew it was a mistake the moment he slithered out of bed.
For some reason the Gods were angered with him and they wanted his blond head on a silver platter! First, he overslept because his alarm didn't sound; his extra pillow must have yanked out the cord when he tossed it on the floor last night. Second, he had to sit next to a guy on the bus who had a case of extreme flatulence. Finally, while he was begging his buddy Chouji for a few barbeque flavored potato chips he neglected to watch Lee's battle of trying to pry open his locker…until it was too late. With one hard jerk the locker flew open successfully hitting Naruto in the face and sent him straight to the floor; the HARD, unforgiving floor. The worse part, besides getting punched in the face by a locker, was that it happened right in front of the varsity cheerleaders and instead of running to him and asking if he was alright; they laughed!
With some help from a chuckling Chouji and an apologetic Lee, Naruto was back on his feet and grumbling his way to the Class of Death, also known as pre-calculus. He ignored the mini concussion that he was sure he had and plopped down in his seat next to Kiba. Kiba gave him a once over with a slight frown.
"What the hell happened to you? You look like shit."
"Thanks for the compliment."
Naruto rested his head on his desk and tuned out whatever it was Kiba was saying. He continued to keep his head down when he heard Iruka-sensei start his boring lecture about degrees and radians. In all honesty, Naruto really liked his professor; he just fucking hated math! He felt his eyes drifting shut and absently wondered if he should sleep after getting hit in the face like that. What harm could one nap do?
"Naruto, if you have nothing better to do than sleep in my class then I guess it is safe for me to assume that you KNOW the answer to problem number four."
Damn.
Shit! He didn't know the answer. He attempted to make sense of the numbers and letters assigned to him as homework last night, but he knew his limitations.
Even if Sakura promised to dance naked while covered in ramen he wouldn't be able to learn this shit.
Besides, who could be thinking about learning something that he wasn't even going to use in the future when the Bleach forum he had just recently joined took up so much of his time! He could stay on the internet chatting with fellow Bleach-heads for hours, and he usually did. When Naruto didn't respond Iruka-sensei sighed and probed someone else for the answer.
"Sasuke, can you, unlike Naruto, give the answer to problem number four?"
Naruto looked up from his desk to glare at the dark-haired teen on the other side of the classroom. Their eyes met for a second and Naruto was sure he could see a near smirk on his face.
"Forty-degrees."
"Correct. Thank you, Sasuke."
Iruka looked back at Naruto his expression a mixture between firm and forgiving. With a sigh he turned his back to the class and walked to the board.
"Naruto…see me after class."
Shit.
The rest of math class went by pretty uneventful. Iruka-sensei went over more stuff about radians. Kiba drew pathetic pictures of girls with huge boobs. A wasp flew into the class through and open window and the girls in the class screamed until Shino caught it and let it out without getting stung. The bell sounded signaling the end of class and Naruto made his way out the door. He smirked when he noticed that Iruka-sensei wasn't calling him back to stay after class as he stated earlier.
Awe yeah! Lunch time!
The cafeteria buzzed with conversation. Girls batted eyelashes at guys while guys swallowed down burgers, fries, and whatever mystery meat that the cafeteria lady claimed was chili. Naruto glared at the table in front of him. He watched as Sakura asked Sasuke to go on a date with her for the fourth time that day. Sasuke turned her down without even looking up at her.
What a bastard.
"Hey, Sakura? I'll go out with…"
"I'm so NOT interested, Naruto."
Why does Sakura always turn him down?
Naruto watched as Sakura walked off to sit with the other popular females. He sighed. He had a crush on the girl, but she never gave him a chance to even show her how great of a boyfriend he could be too her.
"What a bitch."
He whipped his head around to see his friend Sai glaring at the pink-haired girl.
"Hey! Don't call Sakura that! She's beautiful!"
"Hmm…that's a matter of opinion. Besides, my cousin is a bitch, and she's a professional model."
Naruto rolled his eyes at Sai. He was about to tell him that Sakura was perfect in every possible way until he eyed a book in his hands. He squinted his eyes trying to read the kanji title.
"What's that book you have?"
Sai grinned at him. He took a seat next to Naruto and slid the book over to him.
"Bleach…yaoi doujinshi."
"No fucking way! You bought this?!" Naruto asked as he snatched the book from off of the table.
"No. I made it," Sai answered. He wasn't being sarcastic. He actually did make it. He was an artist, but more important than that he was a pervert so Naruto could already imagine what sort of positions the characters would be in.
Naruto discreetly flipped through the pages of the book shielding it away from passing students and teachers. He wiped the drool from his mouth on the back of his hand. Sai had one hell of a gift! Each page he turned was better than the previous. He could feel himself growing hard at the Ichigo and Uryuu pairing; for some reason he just loved seeing the two of them together. Sai grinned at the forever changing expressions on Naruto's face. Naruto looked up from the book to stare at Sai; his face was unreadable. His voice was deep and serious.
"You have to let me borrow this."
Sai laughed. He was near responding when he felt a slight shove to his back. The two of them looked up to see Sasuke walking pass them heading towards the exit. Sai, for the moment ignored it. He would confront the Uchiha later. He directed his attention back to his blond friend.
"Well, I was going to give it to you, but if you just want to borrow it…"
"I SO LOVE YOU, SAI!" Naruto shouted as he clutched the book to his chest. He ignored the stares, eye-rolling, and whispers directed at his outburst. He didn't care; why would he? He had Bleach yaoi doujinshi to jerk off too tonight!
The rest of the school day went by in a flash. Naruto walked out of the school doors with a permanent grin etched on his face, climbing up three steps he walked onto the bus and found a seat in the front next to the window. He stared out the window as the bus slowly pulled off. He watched a pale-eyed boy with long brunette get into a car. Neji was so lucky to have his own car. Maybe if he dated him he could get rides to and from school. He was interrupted from his thoughts about dating Neji when he felt a body slide into the space next to him. He turned his head to the side with a small smile in greeting to his seat-mate. A boy with blood-red hair and emerald-green eyes stared back at him.
"How's it going, Gaara?"
"Uzumaki."
With Gaara, Naruto could never be so sure if he was in a bad mood or if he was just…well, just being Gaara. Nonetheless, he stayed silent (much to everyone's amazement) the complete bus ride home; he didn't want to piss Gaara off, for he wanted the use of both his hands and eyes when he jerked off to Uryuu tonight.
When the bus arrived at his stop Naruto slid pass Gaara and happily shot off the bus. He tossed his backpack on the living room floor as soon as he walked through the door and dashed up the stairs. He flung the door to his room open and strolled over to his laptop that sat on a small desk in his room. He tapped on the spacebar a few times until the blank screen brightened up coming from off of standby. He typed in his password; RAMEN_BOY, signed onto the internet, clicked on the Bleach link under his favorites, and scanned the website looking for anything new. He hadn't been on it since ten o'clock the night before. There's bound to be something interesting and exciting up there right; like yaoi?
1 NEW FORUM TOPIC
Topic title: Ichigo is a LOSER
by: SharinganSOB
Naruto stared at the screen in disbelief. Who in the hell would call Ichigo a loser? He's the main character and the best in the whole damn anime! Curiosity and anger getting the best of him, Naruto clicked on the title. He would just leave the guy a little message; call him an idiot and a jerk.
Topic title: Ichigo is a LOSER
by: SharinganSOB
3/14/07 11:01pm
Ichigo is a LOSER. The main character should be Uryuu. Why do you morons make him bottom in your pathetic fan arts and fan fictions when it's obvious that Ichigo is the uke bitch? Idiots.
Naruto read and reread the post over and over again. Was this guy out of his mind?! He tried to think of something witty and clever to say, but as usual, words failed him. With a shrug, Naruto typed the only thing he could think of and hit the submit button.
Reply to: Ichigo is a LOSER
by: sexy_yaoi_FOX
3/15/07 3:18pm
YOU'RE THE UKE BITCH! BASTARD!!!
After leaving his well thought of reply, Naruto clicked on SharinganSOB's user profile. There weren't any pictures or any information about the guy. In fact, there was just one sentence on his whole profile.
User profile: SharinganSOB
Email: SharinganSOB@hotmail.com
Birthdate:
Homepage:
About me: All you need to know about me is that I am BETTER than you in every since of the word.
Naruto wondered who this guy was. He assumed that he was probably some stupid jerk with no life, bad skin, and ugly hair that lived in a boring city of a lame state; someone that Naruto would never meet. What Naruto didn't know…was how WRONG he was.
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