Present. Naruto: Age 16
“Naruto, you and Kakashi-sensei were very close, weren’t you?”
The blonde boy stared at her wordlessly; she was the first person to actually confront him after the service. He noticed that her usually healthy glow had taken on a sallow tint, how her hair looked faded and hung dully around her jaw, how everything about her seemed to wilt. He wondered if his own appearance was similarly downtrodden.
“I just…” Her voice choked. Tears welled in her eyes. “He’s really… He’s really gone, isn’t he?” she sobbed, flinging her arms around his neck and pressing her face into his shoulder, as though the enormity of what had happened just dawned on her.
“Sakura…” He hesitantly drew her smaller form into his, his callused fingers rubbing circles between her shoulders blades while he gently shushed her in a way he hoped was comforting. This was too much; he couldn’t be anyone’s anchor right now, not when he was barely hanging on to stability himself. He was the one who needed someone he could cling to for dear life; he was the one who desperately needed a shoulder to cry on. Except the tears didn’t come anymore. “Oh, Sakura…”
It had all been so easy. One of them should’ve realized what was happening.
- - - -
Past. Naruto: Age 13
"Kaaaakaaaassshiiiii-seeeennnnssseeeeiiii! Leeemmmme iiiinnnnn!” The blonde boy howled, banging on the door again, this time with a sharp kick for emphasis. Kakashi was a Jounin, a highly skilled ninja ready to leap into action at any given minute – surely the man couldn’t be such a heavy sleeper. There were probably laws about such things, he thought. Maybe the law stated that Jounins couldn’t sleep, they had to be awake and alert at all times. No, no…they were still humans, and humans had to sleep. He’d seen Kakashi sleep before…hadn’t he? He found he suddenly couldn’t remember.
As though to confirm his suspicions of all Jounins being insomniacs, the door swung open, producing a fully dressed Kakashi, looking surprised and slightly irritated but nonetheless awake. The silver haired man poked his head around the door, glancing up and down the hall and ignoring the blonde who had now taken to rambling excitedly and grinning like a madman. He sighed; at least the boy hadn’t woken any of the neighbors.
A shuffle of feet allowed just enough clearance for the smaller boy to duck into Kakashi’s apartment, still chattering animatedly. While Kakashi shut the door behind him and wandered off to the kitchen, the blonde made himself comfortable on Kakashi’s only piece of real furniture; a ragged black futon adorned with grey pillows, one of which, as the boy momentarily paused in his speech to inform his sensei of, had a hole in the topmost corner that stuffing was leaking out of.
Kakashi barely listened as he searched his cabinets for clean cups and, upon finding them, poured tea for both him and his guest. He came very close to adding cream and sugar to one, but the incessant babble reached his ears again and the man thought better of it.
He wandered back into the living room, setting one cup on the low end table on the boy’s right and clasping the other between his gloved hands.
The blonde eyed the cup’s contents warily before deeming it drinkable, taking several long slurps.
“So, Naruto, what brings me the pleasure of your visit this fine evening?”
If his voice held any sarcasm or malice for being jolted from his sleep so early, Naruto certainly didn’t catch it. “I-I kind of…um…have a question.” About this time the boy seemed to take great interest in his lap, clasping his hands and wringing them anxiously.
Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow, interested in this sudden shyness. “Oh?”
“Yeah.”
They sat in silence a long moment, Naruto still looking anywhere but at Kakashi, Kakashi staring directly at the boy. Apparently he required some prompting. “And…?”
“Oh! Um… I was wondering…” He took a deep breath. “Kakashiisitokayforninjastohavesex?”
“I— Sex?” The Copy Ninja blanked, a scarlet-faced Naruto helplessly casting his eyes on the futon. This was not a conversation he should be having. This was something for Iruka to discuss with the boy; he was the father figure, not Kakashi. In fact, this was a discussion Kakashi would prefer just about anyone but himself give to Naruto.
As though reading his mind, Naruto further ducked his head and mumbled, “I couldn’t ask Iruka-sensei, because he’s a teacher… I mean, he’s still a ninja, but it’s not the same… Sakura’s a girl so…” – his nose wrinkled – “that’d be weird… Perverted Hermit wouldn’t help me… And I couldn’t ask Sasuke-teme, because it’s not like he knows anything anyway.” Which left Kakashi, last on Naruto’s very short list of people he felt he could talk to.
“Naruto… You woke me up at 3 AM, to ask me that?”
The boy nodded. “I mean… Isn’t it dangerous for a ninja to have…you know…” – he gestured briefly with his hands – “relations? If anyone found out, they could be in trouble or get hurt or…” Naruto finally looked up at him, seeming to have recovered from his previous embarrassment. “I figured since you read those dirty books all the time and since you’re a Jounin…” He grinned sheepishly. “You seemed like the best person to help me!”
Kakashi was glad his mask hid the faint smirk brought on by his student’s speech, but quickly smoothed his features and adopted a more serious tone. “I think this is a conversation you need to have when you’re older and more mature.”
Indignant, he leapt forward on the futon, so close that their noses almost touched. “I’m not immature!”
Kakashi’s eye went wide; he could almost taste the other boy’s scent, one that was far too tantalizingly masculine to be that of a child’s.
“Besides, you’re the one who reads all those Icha Icha books.” Naruto scowled.
“It’s because I read those I’m more mature than you,” the Jounin husked, his masked lips gently brushing the blonde’s. He noticed for the first time how soft his lips looked, pursed in a defiant pout, and that the faint whisker marks on his cheeks made him look far older than he actually was. It was dangerous. And as any adult in his situation would’ve reacted, he did the most logical thing possible: took evasive action.
The boy’s brow furrowed.
“Penis.”
There was a crashing thud as Naruto scrambled backwards, slipped, and hit the floor. Glaring and red faced he attempted to pull himself from the awkward position he’d landed in, wedged between the futon and the coffee table. “W-what was that all about!?” he demanded, grudgingly accepting Kakashi’s offered hand.
Kakashi smiled, his eye crinkling, the corners of his mask lifted. “Consider it a test of your maturity. You failed.”
“I WASN’T EXPECTING…expecting…that.” His voice grew very small as he started blushing all over again. “I mean, how would you feel if someone said…something like that?”
“What? Penis?” He really was enjoying this too much. Not to mention he’d distracted himself from kissing the boy, and distracted Naruto from noticing that he was possibly considering kissing him. Then again, Naruto probably lacked that much perception.
“You’re not helping!” Naruto buried his face in his hands. He’d been foolish thinking Kakashi could help him; he was almost as bad as Jiraiya. Besides, while he’d never admit it, his sensei was right anyway. He was immature (and definitely too young) to even begin considering things like sex. The boy nodded to himself determinedly and looked up at Kakashi with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, sensei, it was wrong of me to wake you up like this and then expect you to help me.”
Kakashi hadn’t expected that. Rather than continuing to cower at the mentioning of genitals or throwing a tantrum about how Jiraiya’s trashy novels had obviously corrupted his mind, Naruto had, more or less, accepted that he was being childish. Hopefully he also realized that this is a topic best suited for anyone who isn’t me.
In his brief moment of shock, the blonde had made his way to the door.
“I’m going to be in big trouble at training tomorrow if I haven’t slept any.” Though he spoke aloud, the comment was mostly to himself; Sasuke was going to kick his ass, and all because he’d been so insistent on having answered what was a stupid question in the first place. He tugged his hair in aggravation, but gave Kakashi a forced smile. “Thanks…um…for…the…tea…” The silver haired man was staring at him oddly. Did I do something really stupid and not notice? Let‘s see… I told him thanks for the tea, and that I was sorry I woke him up… The penis thing? DOES HE THINK I’M GAY? No… Then freaking out would make no sense… Uh…
“Naruto, how far do you live from here?”
The blonde thought that was irrelevant, but answered dutifully. “Forty five minutes.” They didn’t live that far apart, but as many times as he’d gotten lost on the way there (and as many times he was certain he’d get lost on the way back) he’d be lucky to get home in under an hour.
“It might be best if you just…stayed here the rest of the night.” While his face remained blank as ever, Naruto could almost feel the sigh in the man’s voice, one the boy had always taken to mean ‘Of all the unfortunate Jounin, why do I get stuck with this knucklehead?’ Of course at that point it could just as easily be a sign that Kakashi had given up all hopes of a decent night’s sleep and was now caving in to his damnable conscience.
The boy nearly mauled the Jounin in his excitement. “Really? It’ll be like a sleepover! I’ve never been to one before. I wonder if it counts with your sensei…”
As the blonde prattled on, Kakashi couldn’t help but feel he’d made a horrible, horrible mistake.
-
“Oi, Kakashi-sensei, are you sure this is all right?”
The silver haired man was suddenly glad he wasn’t the sort who voiced his every thought. He tossed a pillow at the boy’s head, his teacher instinct suitably pleased when the fluffy white projectile was neatly ducked and caught. “I have a bed.” That hasn’t been used in ages. Perhaps because he was so used to sleeping in uncomfortable places (forests, trees, rooftops) his body had forgotten what comfort was like and now mistook things like concrete for being suitable. Sleeping on the futon was like sleeping on hard packed dirt. Sleeping in the bed was like…well, he wasn’t sure anymore.
The Jounin equipped Naruto with an array of blankets and pillows, trying not to take obvious notice as the blonde stripped down to his boxers. Once he’d settled into the cocoon of sheets Kakashi flipped the lights, failing to hear the soft, perturbed noise his young houseguest emitted as he did so.
He padded back to his bedroom, undressed, and pulled on a loose pair of pajama bottoms for the second time that night. Nimble fingers unknotted his forehead protector, which he then folded meticulously and placed on the nightstand, close at hand; the mask was pushed down so it hung loosely around his neck like a bandana (there had been a point in time he actually attempted to sleep in it, but after several bouts of near suffocation he’d caved to instead run the risk of asphyxiation.) He sprawled flat on his mattress, not bothering to pull down the covers.
It was odd, he thought, to have someone else sharing his home. Just a few yards away was a little blonde boy with dreams to be the next Hokage, who was simultaneously one of the most idiotic and one of the most brilliant ninja he’d come across, and whose breathing was now coming in whiffling snores.
It was to that pattern of breathing that Kakashi succumbed to the weight of his eyelids and was lulled to sleep.
-
“My sympathy lies with the parents – to be the creator of such a thing!”
“I hear he has no parents.”
“I bet he killed them. Someone like him is heartless; he probably doesn’t even understand things like compassion.”
He tried to explain, to tell them that he’d never hurt anyone. His mouth worked but all that came out was an inaudible sob, a familiar lump rising in his throat as his vision blurred and his arms trembled. Why did they hate him? Why wouldn’t their children play with him? Kyuubi the adults called him.
More whispers now, louder and angrier. The shadows drew in closer, feeding off their hatred.
He curled his knees to his chest, cupping his hands over his ears.
Demon.
“Stop… Please, stop.” He wished they’d go away and leave him alone; this was far worse than being unacknowledged.
Murderer.
“Stop it!”
Monster.
“STOP!”
“Naruto!”
He bolted upright flailing, eyes wide with terror. Against the dark he could see the flash of Kakashi’s sharingan, swirling warily. His heart throbbed, his entire body shaking uncontrollably. “Sensei?” The boy’s voice was an uncertain whisper, as though he was being tricked and any moment now the man before him would change into one of the shadowy figures from his dreams.
“You were yelling.” The Jounin affirmed, reaching out to place a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. The boy flinched, but didn’t pull away.
“Sorry.”
“I was awake anyway.” Slowly, giving Naruto time to deny him, Kakashi lowered himself on the futon. When the boy didn’t deny him he scooted closer, rubbing circles between the blonde’s shoulder blades. He used the silence to observe this new, quiet Naruto. The look of fear was still there, muted now, but his trembling had ceased. It was all very unsettling.
“What time is it?”
“Almost six. You should take a shower.” Perfunctory actions would give the boy time to think and calm down, and to find the normalcy he needed right now.
Naruto nodded dumbly, his feet finding their way to the floor.
Kakashi stood alongside him, guiding the boy to the bathroom and giving him brief instructions on how to use the shower. He received a nod of gratitude in response and then the door was shut, leaving the silver haired man outside, alone with his thoughts.
-
Naruto stripped, turned the heat on full blast, and leaned against the wall watching the mirrors fog. Rather than afraid the boy was now ashamed Kakashi had seen him like that, shaking and vulnerable like some little kid. He was a ninja, and ninjas shouldn’t be scared of trivial things like nightmares, no matter how real they felt.
As he stepped under the scalding water, Naruto wondered if Kakashi was ever afraid. It didn’t seem possible – his sensei was always the voice of reason and calm. Who knew the emotions lurking underneath that mask, though… The Jounin never had explained the black cloth, but it did an excellent job of keeping Naruto guessing what the older man was feeling; especially on nights such as this, when Kakashi was acting particularly strange. He’d seemed normal enough at first; irked Naruto had woken him up, and even more irritated it had been over such a ridiculous question, but then…then…
The blonde remembered that brief touch of lips, how low and harsh Kakashi’s voice had sounded. A shudder rippled through his body and pooled directly in his groin. Surely it had been accidental, and who was to say that unfamiliar gruffness hadn’t all been in his imagination? Kakashi-sensei would never be so bold. Still…
Torrid water poured over his tense muscles and Naruto allowed himself to slump against the cool tile of the wall, his head resting against the washcloth bar. He’d never thought of another male like that. Sakura, he liked Sakura. She was pretty and smelled nice. Kakashi smelled so different - not the sweet, light scent girls had, but heavy and masculine and a little like spices. Kakashi’s body was different, too. He had chiseled angles and muscles rather than curves and breasts... His erection pointed up proudly to his belly.
A short knock interrupted his thoughts. “Naruto?”
He jumped and shut off the water, scrambling out of the tub. He eyes searched the counter frantically and then widened a little. Shit! He had forgotten a towel! “I! Um…”
The door swung open and Naruto froze, his feet spread apart and his arms up like he was about to be arrested. Kakashi stood in the doorway, very silent and blank for a moment. His pants were sidled low on his hips, the waistband of his boxers peaking out. He had yet to put on a shirt and Naruto could see the tightening of his abs as he breathed. The bottom of his mask pooled right above his collarbone, stark as though just inviting someone to stare. His hair was messy and ruffled. None of that helped to appease the ache in his lower regions.
Finally, Kakashi held up a fluffy blue towel. “You forgot this,” he said, extending his arm while the other hand scratched his head.
His face burned and the corners of his eyes went teary with embarrassment. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, and so just took it with a sheepish nod.
“When you’re ready, I’ll be in the kitchen making breakfast.”
“O-okay,” Naruto managed. And then promptly slammed the door. He swaddled himself in the towel and paced the length of the bathroom, willing his erection down. Kakashi had just seen him – hard! He hadn’t acted like everything was out of the ordinary, but surely he’d seen it. Even if his sharingan eye had been covered, it would’ve been impossible to miss.
He gnawed at the inside of his cheek and then sat on the toilet lid. Well, fine, if Kakashi was going to pretend nothing had happened then so would he.
Kakashi had only made it as far as the kitchen table before collapsing in a chair, stunned. There were things one was not meant to see. Your student’s arousal was mostly certainly one of those things, especially when one had already come precariously close to kissing said student. It was getting to be too much for him to handle in a single night, and he wished that he’d just allowed the boy to go home earlier.
He couldn’t, however, let on Naruto to such suspicious actions and so composed himself and went to look for something edible in his cupboards.
Dressed, damp-headed, and fortunately erection free Naruto seated himself at Kakashi’s table. “It smells good,” he murmured, looking at the table instead of his sensei.
Kakashi shrugged a little and dished eggs out onto a plate. “I don’t usually have to cook for anyone. Sorry it isn’t ramen.”
His lips quirked into a smile and suddenly the room’s tension eased. They ate in companionable silence, with Naruto’s occasional input about their next mission and how impressed Sakura would be when he outdid Sasuke. Kakashi merely nodded.
Naruto bent at the doorway and put on his shoes, Kakashi standing across from him. “Thanks for letting me stay and eat and everything.”
“There wasn’t much else I could do with you,” Kakashi replied. He held open the door and pulled his pants up a bit incase any of his neighbors were out.
The boy laughed, mussing his hair. “Yeah, well… Thanks anyway.” He waved and left.
Kakashi walked outside and watched the retreating boy down the hall; a bright orange figure that stood out against the grey walls, its fingers laced behind its head.
His stomach flopped.
Then he went back inside, shut the door, and prepared to go about his day.
- - - -
Further Notes:
First off, I have to say I’ve never really thought about the possibility of Kakashi and Naruto as a couple, nor have I ever read a fic where the two were involved (though I’m sure they’re out there somewhere.) So this is a first of sorts for me in a couple ways: My first Naruto fanfic and my first try at this pairing. (:
I love in depth reviews that actually help me as a writer, especially those with constructive criticism, so don’t be afraid to tell the truth. Flames that say, “DIS SUXXORZ” mean absolutely nothing, and while it’s nice to get a, “Omigosh this is awesome! Update soon!” I really appreciate when someone actually takes the time to tell me what they did and didn’t like, and why or why not. Please keep that in mind. :3 Oh, and also: if I’m completely inaccurate in something, please let me know.
I’ll try to keep everyone in character, but I’m not promising they won’t occasionally stray. Especially Kakashi – you have to admit, the man’s a little unpredictable sometimes.
Also: I don’t intend to use many suffixes or Japanese phrases, mainly for fear of using them incorrectly. But teachers will probably have –sensei stuck on them, and Naruto and Sasuke will probably call each other “dobe” and “teme”, just because I like that better than the English equivalents. And Jiraiya will primarily be referred to as Perverted Hermit, because that’s just funny.
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Chapter notes:Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters, nor am I profiting from writing this.
This story is kind of AU, and while you might recognize some of the events from the actual story, the way they play out, the aftermath, etc., may not be the same, as well as how old the characters are when said events take place.
** This is an under aged, and hence illegal, relationship. If you’re not comfortable with that, then I don’t suggest you read. **
Without further rambling: Enjoy. (: