“What the hell?” Hidan shouted from across the room, at the sight of Leader. “Ouch! Watch it Kakuzu, you and that fucking needle!” he swore at the thing, I mean man that was behind him, sewing back over the stitches that were already there. The man gave an annoyed grunt and stuck the man intentionally. “Bite me.” he said coldly. “I would, but you’d probably like it.” the fair haired man snapped back. “Okay, stop it you two, you’re acting like kids. Plus, I really didn‘t need to hear that.” the shadowy man yelled at the two annoying criminals, as he hoisted the tree up right in the other corner of the room. “He started it!” they both said in unison, pointing an accusing finger at each other, then lashed out at each other, throwing wild punches at the other. ‘Great, I run a daycare for dangerous snot nosed brats!’ Leader thought, as he finally got the tree to stand upright.
There was a loud clambering noise along with random swear words as Kakuzu leapt at Hidan, tackling him to the ground. Kisame entered the high ceiling room, looking for the source of the noise. Upon entering he noticed one normal thing and one freaky, messed up thing. Leader was putting up a Christmas tree? Now, Kisame maybe just your average shark (me: hehe :P), but he does have a brain, and right at that moment, he was racking it, trying to find the answer to the Leader’s strange, out of character behavior. “Uh, Leader-sama, why are you putting up that tree?” he asked, pointing towards the large green tree behind him. Kakuzu and Hidan’s fighting stopped to hear the Leader’s answer. “Are you really that dense, Kisame? It’s a Christmas tree.” he said matter-of-factly. “I know that you dumbass!” he snapped back irritably. “What I meant was, why is it here?” he said scratching the back of his head, noticing that Hidan and Kakuzu were doing something rather naughty in the corner, instead of fighting. “I think that is quite obvious, Kisame, we’re celebrating Christmas this year.” he said smirking at the dumbstruck fish in front of him. “Come again?” he asked, cleaning out his ears. “He said were having Christmas, Kisame-san!” an eager voice arose over the peaceful quiet in the room. Tobi had entered the room with boxes full of colorful bulbs and lights, skipping merrily. “What do you mean we’re having Christmas?” Hidan asked, picking himself off of the ground and off of Kakuzu, licking his lips. “It kind of explains itself, but if you really are that stupid, Tobi got me into the Christmas spirit.” replied the shadowy figure, grabbing the stack of boxes out of Tobi’s arms. ”Tobi?” asked the a three missing-nins in astonishment, all looking over at the giddy boy. Tobi let out a shrieked giggle. “Yes, it was me! Are you guys going to help us decorate the tree?” he asked with puppy dog eyes, even though he had a mask on, you could still tell he had those big, sad, puppy dog eyes.
“Hell no!” yelled Hidan, turning and heading for the door. “If you don’t, you’ll force me to use those pictures of you that I took at the New Year festival!” Leader smirked at Hidan’s retreating back, whom stopped dead in its tracks. “Wha…What pictures?” he asked turning around, a worried look on his face. “Oh, you know the ones, with the whip cream and bubble wrap.” Leader said, raising wide eyes and chuckling from the three shinobi in the room. “Oh, r…right, those ones, hehe. Fine, I’ll help you.” he said through gritted teeth, scratching the back of his head. “YEA!” Tobi shouted, and leapt forward, glomping a cursing Hidan. “What about you, Kisame-san and Kakuzu-san?” Hidan somehow pushed of the energetic orange mask, who was now over by Kisame and Kakuzu. “Uh…” they both said dumbly. “Yeah, we’ll help.” they both said together, both catching a glimpse of the Leader, who flashed them a tape. ‘Hehe, I love blackmail.’ he chuckled to himself. “YEA! I’ll go get Deidara-senpai!” Tobi said enthusiastically, running out of the room. “Now that, that’s settled, Kisame, go get Itachi-san.” Leader said, turning his back on the men, picking up the boxes and walked over to the tree. “Tell him to hurry up and get his ass down here, and help put together the tree.” he said nodding towards Kisame. “Right.” the shark like man said, turning and walking out the door. ‘ITACHI! Is he CRAZY? This is like a suicide mission, for god’s sake, he’s trying to kill me! Right so I’ll just walk up to Itachi and say “Hurry up and get your ass down there.” “What do you mean by that Kisame-san?” the Uchiha prodigy asked the man standing in front of his door. ‘AHHH! Did I say that out loud? I’m dead, for sure!’ Kisame thought, teeth chattering.
“Leader-sama told me to…Itachi-san, is that Ch…Christmas music?” Kisame asked, peeking into the Uchiha’s room, where loud, jolly Christmas music filled the air. “Yes, yes it is. Isn’t it the most wonderful thing you have ever heard?” asked Itachi, his eyes glowing a bright red, but something was different about his Sharingan, instead of the normal black pupil and the black tomoe, they (pupil and tomoe) were green. “Wha…What the hell happened to your eyes, Itachi-san?” Kisame asked, staring directly into the Christmassy eyes. “What are you talking about, Kisame?” asked Itachi, throwing off his cloak, revealing a bright, and I mean bright red and green sweater, with a Christmas tree sewn on the front of it, and struck a Gai-like pose. “WHAT THE HELL?!” Kisame stared slack jawed at his very out of character partner. “Kisame, please don’t use such language around the holidays.” Itachi said, striking another pose. “Itachi, what the hell happened to you?” Kisame asked, trying to hold back a deathly laugh. “Don’t talk, lets hug.” Itachi said, throwing himself at Kisame, hugging him tightly, the said shark-man screamed bloody murder, thinking that he was attacking him. “What the hell are you wearing?” he asked, looking down at the deadly man who was glomping him. “Mother made it, she sent it to me for the holiday!” he said joyously. “Oh, your mo…mother? Itachi, I thought you killed your mother?” he asked trying to pry the shorter shinobi off of him. “Oh, that’s right, then never mind!” he said hugging even more tighter. “Hurry, lets get down there and decorate that tree.” Itachi said merrily, as he grabbed Kisame’s hand and skipped off, singing happily, dragging poor fishy head behind him. ‘I hate this stupid holiday! Damn you Christmas, look what you have done to Itachi! No, maybe it’s the eggnog, no, that stuff is just to nasty. I hate to say it, maybe he has just cracked. Or he might be on it.’ he cursed at the day, all the while, being drug by a doped up Uchiha.
Itachi drug him into the common room, where there was now everybody except Deidara, Tobi, and Zetsu. Upon entering, nobody dared to move or talk to the usually brooding Uchiha. “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!” he sang in a singsong voice, which made every body flinch. All the while, they were all trying not to drop dead from laughing at the sight in front of them. There, in front of them was Itachi, in a bright red and green Christmas sweater, holding Kisame’s hand, singing Christmas songs, and to top it all off, he was doing ridiculous poses, and dancing around the place like a drunken ballerina. Even Hidan and Kakuzu had to stop what they were, ahem, doing to look at the once in a lifetime event. “Itachi-san?” Kakuzu asked, utterly confused. “Oh, Kakuzu, Merry Christmas, to you!” he said, glomping him. “Is he on crack?” he asked the shark like man. “That’s what I thought.” he said stretching. “All of you are idiots, can’t you see? Itachi-san has been bitten by the Christmas bug.” Leader said, peeling the loopy Uchiha off of the taller shinobi. “Then lets get an exterminator.” Hidan said, scowling at the new Itachi. “Enough, now, lets decorate the tree.” Leader said pointing towards the tree. “WEEEEEE!” Itachi shrieked and stormed off towards the tree, grabbing a handful of lights. “You’ve got to be kidding me, there’s no way in hell we’re going to decorate that piece of shit.” Hidan said, pointing towards the tree. “Your choice, but what a great Christmas card these pictures would make.” he said, pulling out the pictures. “Uh, fine.” the fair haired man sighed, grabbing his partner’s hand, and making his way over to the tree, Kisame following. The room soon was filled with Itachi and Leader’s singing, until they heard a voice.
“Tobi, what did you want to show me, un?” came Deidara’s voice from around the corner. “This way, this way Deidara-senpai” he said eager as a young child, streaking through the doorway, and into the now silent room. Deidara entered the room, to see Hidan and Kakuzu in one corner of the room, doing naughty stuff, with what looked like to be a tree topper, and on the other side, a huge, green, tree, along with a smiling Itachi, wearing a ridiculous attire, whom was humming and dancing around the others. “What the hell?” he muttered at the messed up sight. ”Deidara-san!” came Itachi’s unusual high pitched voice, as he sprinted over to the blonde artist, who was backing away, thinking that he was going to kill him. But instead, he just jumped on him, glomping him. ‘I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m…hey wait, I’m not dead! He didn’t kill me, that‘s a surprise!’ Deidara thought as he opened his eyes to look down at his fellow Akatsuki member. He couldn’t believe what he saw, Itachi, smiling, hugging, showing emotion, and worse of all, not being Itachi. “Uh, Itachi-san…” he started, but was cut off by Itachi. “Oh, Merry, Merry Christmas Deidara-san!” he said, squeezing tighter, constricting the blonde’s lungs. “Uh, Merry, what, un?” he asked looking down at the Uchiha. “Christmas, it’s Christmas silly!” Itachi smiled up at him, eyes up curved. “It is?” he asked, confused. “Of course it is, today is Christmas! You didn’t know?” he asked, sounding a little hurt. “Uh, People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by the thoughts suitable to the twenty fifth of December, yeah.” he said, shoving the Uchiha off of him. “Poisoned thoughts? How could you say something like that Deidara-san?” asked a crestfallen Itachi. “What, it’s true, un.” he said simply. “You shouldn’t say something like that, Deidara-senpai, Santa is watching you!” Tobi warned. “Pfft, I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was 6, un. Mother took me to see him at the Tsuchikage’s office and he asked for my autograph, yeah.” he said, swishing his hair out of his face. “But…but, Deidara-senpai, you said you’d help!” Tobi whined. “I did, but I didn’t think this is what I was helping you with.” he said tilting his head towards the tree.
****AN HOUR LATER****
Come on, Deidara-senpai, pleassssssseeeeeeeee?” the orange masked shinobi wouldn’t give up. Deidara’s eye was twitching, and his head was throbbing because of the annoying shinobi. “Will you SHUT THE HELL UP, YEAH?!” Deidara screamed at the ninja in front of him. “I’ll help as long as it makes you shut up, un.” he said, scratching the back of his head. “WEEEEEEEE! DEIDARA!” both Itachi and Tobi screeched as the rocketed themselves off of the ground, and glomped the poor blonde again. Then just like a big family, they all contributed (except Hidan and Kakuzu, because they had something better they were doing… :P ) in decorating the tree, one by one. Soon the tree was amazing, lights dazzling off of it, and bulbs and other ornaments shining brightly, lighting up the usual dark, dingy common room. Surrounding the tree were the Akatsuki members themselves, staring merrily up at the beautiful tree they had made. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” asked Tobi, looking at Deidara. “Hai, Tobi, it is, un.” he said, ruffling the younger shinobi’s hair. “Its a disaster!” Itachi said dramatically. “What the hell do you mean, we spent two hours putting this thing together, what do you mean it’s a disaster?” asked Leader irritatedly. “Look higher, where’s the tree topper?” Itachi asked, pointing up at the top of the tree. “Uh, I think we kind of, um, broke it.” Hidan said, handing them the tree topper. “Great now what are we going to use?” Itachi, started to mimic crying. “Hold on, I think I have an idea, un.” Deidara said, a smirk clearly evident on his face. “Hidan-san, can you come here for a second?” the blonde artist asked the fair haired man. “Hn.” he replied as he followed the blonde over to a corner. Deidara’s face drastically changed, it turned into a flirty look, instead of a sly one. He pressed Hidan up against the wall, thrusting his knee in between Hidan’s legs, making Hidan moan heartily. “I always did like you.” Deidara whispered into the fair haired man’s ear. The others watched in shock as Kakuzu watched with murder in his eyes. “Hah…” he replied, as the blonde started to move his knee. The blonde nipped the man’s earlobe as he continued his movements. “I love your voice, your religion, your pale skin…” he said, first touching his lips then the pendant on his neck, then his pale, toned chest. “and your hair…” he said, digging his fingers into fair hair, and pulling slightly, all the while feeling the man’s hips rocking against his knee. “There is only one thing that’s wrong with your head…” he said, licking slowly, up the man’s pale neck, to the base of his jaw. “It shouldn’t be on your body!” he said, pulling violently on the man’s hair, pulling his head away from his body, ripping the newly sewn stitches. The others went slack jawed as they watched what had just unfolded in front of them. Hidan’s head was hanging by his hair in Deidara’s fist, as he made his way back over to the others. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” yelled Kakuzu to the blonde, who was carrying Hidan’s head to the Christmas tree. He grabbed the ladder and with out saying a word, climb to the top, and positioned Hidan’s severed, cursing head on top of the tree. He slid back down the ladder, stopping at the foot of the tree, and looked up to admire what he had just done. Behind him the rest of them just lost it, half were on the ground rolling around, laughing their guts out. “How is that for a tree topper, un?” Deidara said pointing up to Hidan’s head, which was still cursing loudly. He fell to the ground with the rest of them, laughing loudly. This would definitely go into the Akatsuki books, as the best Christmas ever.
**** Wow, that really sucked sorry about that! T_T But I was really bored, so I decided to make up a stupid story about the Akatsuki. Any way I hope that you people will add some better, screw better, add some AWESOME Christmas stories, that will make up for my poopy one, LoL!****