I do not own Naruto and never will…
Enjoy a piece of my demented mind…
The Day the Snake Met the Weasel
by: c7bi_kyuubi
Orochimaru crouched on a tree trunk spying on the object of his perverted pedophile affection. One five year old chibi Uchiha Sasuke was standing under a tree holding a lollipop that was almost the size of his head.
(cough)
“Sasuke… I’m coming to get you soon… Ssssooon…” The snake sannin hissed/whispered.
(cough cough)
“I’ll give you something nicer that that lollipop you’re eating… (insane giggle)”
(sigh) “Ahem…”
“Soon… you’ll be all mine. No one will be able to find you. Not even your brother… (mental shudder at the thought of Itachi then giggles again)”
“Oh really? And what are you planning to do to that cute little boy?”
“(evil laughter) I’m going to make him mine… Then when he is powerful enough, I will inhabit his body and he will be with me forever!!! (evil and demented laughter)”
“Oh… I see. And how do you plan to get him? He is an Uchiha after all.”
“(more evil laughter) Yessss… An Uchiha… Beautiful little Uchiha. He hasn’t activated his Sharingan yet and he is the youngest in the Uchiha clan not to mention I can more easily influence him with my plans…”
“Yes, he hasn’t activated it yet has he? But still, he still has time. I mastered my Sharingan at 8 after all.”
“Really? The only Uchiha I know of that mastered the Sharingan that fast is Itachi. Now that is someone I do not wish to encounter on my brilliant plan to kidnap my beautiful and cute Sasuke… Wha? Sharingan? Then you must be- (gulp)” Orochimaru turned around.
A thirteen year old Uchiha Itachi stared back at Orochimaru with fully activated Sharingan swirling around and clad in a full ANBU uniform. “I can’t believe you are one of the legendary sannin.” Orochimaru gaped at the genius of the Uchiha clan’s stoic poker face. ‘Sandaime must have done something wrong. I wonder what the other two were like. Since one is a demented pedophile, I would guess that another is a drunken gambler and the last a freakin’ pervert.’ Itachi thought with a mental sweatdrop.
[He has no idea how right he is…]
Sasuke continued licking and sometimes gnawing on the lollipop his brother had bought him not a moment ago before he told him to wait under the tree while he went to check out something. He heard screams of pain and then joints popping followed by bones cracking. As the last scream trailed off with the wind, Itachi walked out from the forest leaving Orochimaru's mangled form dangling in the tree. ‘I can’t believe that he thought I was his other personality speaking… What a nut job… I wonder what the Hokage would say now…” Itachi shook his head in disbelief. “And I even tried to get his attention so many times too! Legendary sannin my ass.” Itachi mumbled under his breath. He had felt something watching them for quite sometime already and the feeling was growing steadily uncomfortable. So he went to check and who knew that he would find one of the legendary sannin spying on them and spinning perverted thoughts about his cute ‘widdle brother and planning to kidnap him!
‘He didn’t even sensed me standing behind him! He even thought I was his conscience!?! That stupid perverted snake. Hmm, maybe I should just kill him so he wouldn’t harm Sasuke… Nahh… Sasuke should learn to face perverts like him. I can see he’s going to grow up looking like me. Wait till he meets his fangirls… (chuckles ,and swipes a fangirl that came out of nowhere and leapt at him)’
Sasuke squeaked happily as he saw his beloved brother heading towards him. He ran on chubby legs towards Itachi and leaped onto him. Grunting a little at the impact of the little flying missile, Itachi turned and head home with little Sasuke chirping away happily munching on the lollipop. He taught Sasuke how to do the Katon Goukakyu no Jutsu and they practiced them on the random fan girls that popped out of nowhere. By the time they got home, Sasuke had fully mastered the jutsu.