Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you."
Already, he had memorized those lyrics, as memories faded the reality around him. He could still hear those chords echo, but they were faint to his ears. He could see those cerulean eyes always staring at him happily. Tanned hands always grabbed him off the stage after those performances, pulling his alabaster body into a deep embarce.
Yet it had all seemed to be a dream to him. All of that happiness and bravado that he had seen in those eyes always hid the fact that the blonde was always worried about him. It always torn at him whenever he heard his other friends complain at how the blonde always seemed distant whenever he had gotten drunk. He could see it too, the fact that his lover always seemed to be worried whenever he pulled out a bottle of vodka after every performance.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.
He blinked away those tears as his onyx eyes came back to the present, seeing all of those fans swaying to his song. Having to close his eyes for a moment, he pushed those thoughts away again, as his eyes looked back at the replacement on the drums. He barely knew the dude there, and it was only because the band needed a drummer that he had hired the strange man.
Those onyx orbs drooped a bit as they looked at the logo on the large drum. He remembered when him and the blonde had come up with the symbol one night drinking. It was also the night he first saw him naked, that luscious tanned skin that his hands caressed over. The strange tribal tattoo that was on his stomach, always since that day it was traced by his own pale hands. And when the blonde had taken off his lover's shirt that night, he remembed those sapphire eyes shimmering in astoundment at the tattoo that was on the alabaster chest.
A war fan and a tribal tattoo, that was what they both decided would be the their groups logo. 'So dobe... what should we call ourselves?' He had remembered asking the blonde for a name about two years ago, and the response from him was only a great smirk. 'How about Fallen... Cause we are both the fallen.' Inside, he smiled. The blonde always did make him smile, even if he was obnoxious.
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then he whispered 'How can you do this to me?'"
At that moment, those onyx eyes didn't care who saw them leak those tears, as he felt almost like he was choking on those words. That face, those blue orbs that shimmered no longer with the happiness they used to hold, they all felt shattered and broken. As his fingers moved more and more, he peered over towards the only woman that was in the band. He could see her cold stare as she glared at his eyes. Knowing full well why she was glaring, he faced the audience once more, his mouth closed for a few moments, as he gathered the courage to finally sing the last few lines of the song he had just written a few nights ago.
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you."
Closing his eyes once more, he started to sway back and forth, imagining that he was dancing once again with his lover. His hands plucked one last chord, as he whispered two last words towards the crowd, "For you..." His head hung down as he heard the cheers from the fans that loved the newest song that Fallen had come out with. From behind him, he could hear the female keyboardist talking with the other guitarist. Whispers aplenty, all about what he had done to their friend as well.
Bringing his head back up to the microphone, he produced a fake smile and stared at the fans. "Well thank you guys... I hope you enjoyed the concert tonight." Everyone in the crowd screamed and whistled at him, save for one person. He could see him, the blonde, standing and staring at him. Those blue eyes held hatred towards him, as they peirced through his soul, making him slightly shiver. The raven-haired singer turned away from the crowd, to try and get those eyes out of his head, but it seemed as they wouldn't leave that easily. He moved quickly, getting off the stage before any of the other band members, placing his guitar on a speaker, before he disappeared near the bus.
Unable to hold back any longer, he let those tears stream down his face, as his head leaned against the bus behind him. From within his pocket, he took out a flask, opening it quickly and guzzling down the contents. The first alcoholic beverage he had in a few months since he broke up with his drummer and co-foudner of the band. He sort of missed that loud voice that always accompanied his on stage, harmonic in a strange way that he always found slightly seducing.
After finishing the flask, he tossed it to the side, and slide down to the ground, holding his knees closer to his body. "...I wanted... to help..." He whispered into the night air about him, as he watched his breath escape into the frigid air about him. His vision was fuzzy, but as he looked out to a telephone pole by the bus, he couldn't help but silently curse himself. Having enough of everything, he pushed himself up, and stumbled onto the bus, only to pass out on the bed, eyes still red from crying.
"COMING TO TOWN! FALLEN! 10/3-10/5! AND IT'S ONLY THE START OF THE WORLD TOUR!" ~Poster on telephone pole.