Cover Hog: An Interlude
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“For crying out loud, moron, get your keys!” I groaned quietly at the hissing of Sasuke’s voice behind me. Why was he always on my case? He just had to harp on me, every chance he got. So, even though I wasn’t exactly comfortable standing in the rain and getting soaked to the skin, I took my time fishing through my pockets (four in all counting my jacket and my pants) for my keys, which I knew were in my left pants pocket. That’s where I always kept them. But Sasuke didn’t know that, so it was okay. And it was worth hearing his constant griping when I looked over my shoulder.
He looked…hilarious. That stupid-looking black jumper was soaked and made him look like he was wearing a trash-bag with a zipper. His hair…oh, his pride and joy…it was plastered to his head, flat and inky. He looked like a drowned cat. I sniggered as I put the key into the lock. “Shut up, idiot,” was all he said.
I chuckled.
He smacked the back of my head, spraying water over the hardwood floor, as I had just gotten the door open. As soon as we were inside, the both of us took off our shoes. It was freezing outside, really, and it wasn’t much better inside my apartment, so I took off my jacket and my shirt to keep the water-drippage down to a minimum before I took off to the bathroom and returned with a sizable stack of towels. “Here you go, teme.” I smiled cheekily at him as he grabbed two towels from under my nose. He just frowned at me and tried to blot off his jumpsuit. Really…who made his clothes?
I mean, I know that people pick on my orange, but at least I don’t’ look like I’m wearing a onesie that got too small to wear the feet and arms…at which point those things were cut off. Honestly, I really think that it’s something he had when he was five. It’s just the worst thing I’ve ever seen him wear. Maybe if I didn’t look at it, I could ignore the fact that he looked even more ridiculous than Kiba in that stupid jacket.
“Well, bastard…I guess we can wait until the rain lets up a bit, and then you can borrow my umbrella to truck your ass home.” He didn’t answer. Instead, I saw him head for the bathroom.
On his way there, he said, “I’m tired, dobe. And since I’m tired, I’m going to sleep where I fall. Preferably in a bed, and close by.” And then he was in the bathroom, with the shower running. Snorting, I figured that he was going to need something to wear to bed, so I went to the bedroom. After some digging, I found a couple of things that I didn’t think would offend his delicate fashion sense (if one could call dressing like a retarded vampire delicate), and went to place those things on the counter in the bathroom.
“Oi, teme,” I said as I opened the door, “I put some stuff for you on the counter, ‘kay?” All he did was grunt. I rolled my eyes and left the room.
Rather than taking a shower, I just dried off and changed into my pajamas. It felt nice to be in something warm and dry, let me tell you. By the time the bastard got out of the bathroom, I was halfway finished with making some instant ramen, which he wrinkled his nose at. “Look, you ass, it’s all I’ve got. So unless you want to walk home to eat what you want, then you’ll eat what I made for you.” Sasuke let out a sigh that I think I can only describe as delicate before picking up the pair of chopsticks I put out for him.
Neither of us talked at all while we ate. I was too busy enjoying my pork ramen while he was too busy angsting about…whatever it was that went through his spiky head. When he was finished, he rinsed off his chopsticks and dried them before putting them back in the cup I kept them in. At least he had good manners about some things. I thought at that moment that his mother must have been a nice lady, to have been able to put up with him.
I finished a couple minutes later and threw away my cup after rinsing and drying my chopsticks. “So…” I said, letting my voice trail off.
“So?” His voice had this weird tone to it, like he was making fun of me or something. Wait. When is he not making fun of me? Bleargh! It’s hurting my head. On with the story. So yeah, he was making fun of me. And it wasn’t just his voice that let me know it. I could see that smirky little smirk trying to form on his face…and damn…did I want to slap it off.
But—unlike what a lot of people think of me—I do have a little self-control. Not that it didn’t take nearly every single shred of it to keep from knocking him across the room…that goes without saying. This is Sasuke we’re talking about. I put my mental foot down for myself and just rolled my eyes. “Want to watch a movie?” Sasuke looked surprised. What did he expect? Did he think I was gonna say something about more ramen, or training? He wasn’t the only one who was tired, damn it!
Without me telling him he could, Sasuke just walked into the living room and started rifling through the cupboards, looking at all the movies I had. And of course, he had nothing good to say. “Your taste sucks, Naruto.” I really, really wasn’t in the mood for a fight. I was getting more and more tired by the second, and I was starting to get a head ache from hearing his complaining.
“Just pick something…geesh.” I should have grabbed something randomly. I should have. But, he took one last look at the last cabinet and pulled something out of his own accord. It was the absolute last thing that I ever thought the ice prince would ever watch. “The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra?” He just turned and quirked his eyebrow at me like he would do when he was trying to see if I would question him. That way, if I said anything against what he wanted, we would fight. And anyone who knows Sasuke will tell you…he loves to fight. For some reason, he finds me to be the perfect person to practice this masochistic habit with. Oh, well. Far be it from me to question other people’s stupidity.
I was closer to the television, so he chucked the movie at my head. I caught it, but I could already tell that it was going to be a very, very long night. The second the movie started, for some reason, Sasuke became more talkative than I have ever seen him. In ninety minutes, he talked more than he did over an entire year. And every word that came out of his mouth was some kind of complaint.
“That’s so fake.”
“You’re kidding me, right? That’s the Mutant?”
“What kind of ‘science’ does he do?”
“Who wrote this crap?”
“I cannot believe you paid money for this.”
“Naruto, did you see that? The skeleton’s kneecap fell off…how cheesy…”
Just when I thought I couldn’t stand it anymore, when Sasuke’s voice had given me the migraine I had felt coming on the moment we finished training, he just shut up. The movie was over. I was rubbing my temples trying to lessen the effects of an hour and a half of his voice grating on my nerves.
“You okay, dobe?”
“God-damn it, Sasuke! You didn’t shut up the entire movie! Gave me a headache! It hurts so bad I can barely see. Who knew you could be so damned annoying?!” When I got up from the couch, I stumbled into the kitchen, where I kept my aspirin. As soon as my fingers touched the bottle, it was pulled out of my grasp. I made a really pitiful sound. I’m ashamed to say it, but I was pouting. “Saaasukeeeeee…gimme my aspirin! Gotta get rid of this headache!”
“Hn.” I heard him say as I stared through my migraine tunnel at the floor. Why was it so interesting? I didn’t know why then. But I’ll tell you right now, I know exactly why. I just knew he was smirking. I hate it when he does that! I hate that smirk…I hate it so much it hurts…oh, great…now I’m giving myself a headache again, just thinking about it! Deep breath…relax…okay. On with the story.
So then I felt him take my hand and put something into it. Bringing my open palm to my face, I could see (blurrily) two little white aspirin pills sitting there. “Yatta!” I said, a little too loudly, and grabbed at my head again, nearly dropping the aspirin. “Ohhh…I swear, Sasuke, if you hadn’t just done something decent, I would beat the crap out of you. It freaking hurts!” I heard him laughing quietly, and the drawer opening for him to put the bottle back. Once I choked back the bitter tablets, I felt a hand clamp down on my arm.
“Come on, idiot. Time for bed.” I was being dragged. Usually, if anyone drags me, I put up a fight. I’ll usually try to rip the offending bastard a new asshole, but I had the headache from hell, and I wasn’t in any shape to do that. I just followed him as best I could without tripping. I found the bed well enough, and I put myself into it ASAP. But then, there was someone else in the bed, too.
The bed wasn’t very big. In fact, it was pretty small. “Saasukeeeeeeee. Get out!”
“No. I’m not sleeping on that awful couch again. It’s like sleeping on rocks.”
I whined. God help me, I whined. “But the bed’s too small!”
Then I could practically hear his eyes rolling. “Just scoot over to by the wall. We can fit.”
Not wanting to fight, I just did what he said, and didn’t worry about it. I faced the wall, and he positioned himself so that he was comfortable. The lights were off, his back was to me, and everything was peaceful. Hell, even that ass-horrible pain in my head was starting to go away. Then, he started to snore. “Geez, Sasuke…” I grumbled, and jabbed him in the back with my elbow. People who snore bug the crap out of me. He turned over onto his back, and it only got worse. I know that at that point I had to have a vein poking out of the middle of my forehead.
So I jabbed him again, and he rolled over again. How could he sleep like that? The only time I ever sleep like the dead was when I’ve been training for days without sleep. Sasuke turned over onto his other side, now facing my back. Whatever. At least he wasn’t snoring anymore.
I fell asleep a little while later, even though I could feel him breathing on my neck. It was weird having another person sleeping in my bed. It kind of felt like sleeping with a huge—and very warm—teddy bear. Only, teddy bears don’t grab you in the middle of the night when they have bad dreams.
What? You don’t believe me? Ha! I’m not kidding. Sasuke has bad dreams. I’m not talking about the normal bad dreams. This is not one of those “I showed up for a mission naked and carrying a rubber chicken” sort of dreams. He has nightmares. Really bad ones, from the sound of things. Just like I did when I was little, and had that silly little stuffed frog from God knows where, Sasuke wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed me as tightly as he would a stuffed animal. And…he started crying. Ohhh. I hope that he doesn’t hear about me telling you this. He’ll kill me.
Anyway, I wiggled around so I could look at him. First, I thought he was pulling a joke on me. It was past midnight, and I was still tired, even though I had slept for a few hours by now. That idea went out the window when I saw his face. Anyone who has ever seen somebody have a nightmare knows the face Sasuke had. His eyebrows were drawn down, and his mouth was slightly open, and his lips were trembling.
I know that I’m supposed to hate him. I do, most of the time. But I really have trouble hating someone that looks that pitiful. If I ignored him, would he stop? Not likely. Besides, I wouldn’t have done that, anyway. Even if he’s a bastard, I know why he’s a bastard. So, I figured, what the hell? A little bit of human comfort isn’t a bad thing. Of course, neither of us are used to that sort of thing, be it giving or receiving it. I had to think for a minute about how mothers acted when their kids fell down and scraped a knee to get the correct motions.
It was really awkward, putting my arms around him. One arm under his neck and holding his head, the other arm around his waist…yeah…awkward. But it didn’t take very long before whatever I was doing started to work. The little whimpering noises he was making started to lose their strength, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But when I tried to go back to sleeping normally, like I had been before, he just pulled me closer, and when I was that close, there was not going to be anything like me taking my arms from around him.
Well, to be completely honest, I had slept in worse positions, so I just went with it. Falling asleep in Uchiha Sasuke’s arms isn’t quite as scary as I would have thought, actually. But now, I’m really getting off-topic, aren’t I? The point is, that somehow, without even ever letting go of me, he managed to hog the covers. They all ended up bunched on the other side of him while I slept, and when I woke up and tried to get them pulled back the way they should be, he just sort of growled at me. I was cold! I swear, that’s the only reason I cuddled up to him!
If you couldn’t reach the blankets, and you had a human furnace right next to you on a freezing night, you tell me…what would you do? I’ll tell you what you’d do. You would get as close to that human furnace as you possibly could, that’s what! And that’s all I did. That’s it. I just got close to the warmth that would get me through the night.
You wouldn’t know it from his attitude, but damn. Sasuke is really a warm kind of guy. He’s a comfy pillow, too. But he sure isn’t a morning person. When I woke up, it was to his voice. “Dobe, get the hell off of me.” I was groggy, and still sleepy and tired because I woke up several times during the night. So I pretended not to hear him, and I snuggled closer. What can I say? I was comfy. “I said…get off.”
“Nope.” I said, shoving my face into his chest and grinning like a madman. “I’m too comfy.”
“I’ll give you ‘comfy’, Naruto!” There was an awful jab to my ribs when he poked one of his unusually sharp fingers there, and I squawked indignantly at the insanely ticklish feeling.
“Ack!” I yelled, and he did it again. And again. And again. Now, Sasuke was tickling me in earnest, and I was about to pee all over myself. “For c-c-crying out loud hahahahaaha! Sasu-haha-ke! Stop! Please! I swear, I won’t do it again! I’ll never cuddle you again, I swear!” The tickling stopped very suddenly, and when I had caught my breath, I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was frowning. “W-what?” I asked, still panting a little.
“Didn’t say I didn’t like the cuddling…” He said this with some difficulty, and even blushed. Yeah. He blushed. That’s another thing you had better not tell Sasuke. Otherwise, I’ll come back from my grave and haunt you to the ends of the Earth.
I blinked at him. Yeah, I was confused! He said he liked me cuddling up to him! What in the Seven Hells?! “Huh?” That was all I could manage.
Sasuke blushed more, all the way down to his neck, but he said—a bit more steadily—“I didn’t say it was bad, Naruto. I liked…I liked waking up next to you.” He swallowed nervously before he pushed himself up off of the bed. Not really looking at me, he said, “I just needed to go to the bathroom.” And so he did.
The whole three minutes that he was in there, I lay there, staring up at the ceiling. What did that mean? That he liked me next to him? What did it mean? Did it mean that I was a human furnace, too and that he liked being warm? If that was the case, I knew what I was going to get him for his birthday: a portable space heater. Then, he got out of the bathroom and came back to bed. I was pretty surprised when he got in right next to me, and arranged the both of us under the covers so that we were just like we were before.
“Um…Sasuke? What—“
He rolled his eyes and then said, “Shut up and enjoy it, Naruto.”
“I do—I mean, I am, it’s just…what is it we’re doing?” God, looking back at it, I sounded like such a girl!
He smirked. That stupid, stupid smirk! Gragh! I can’t freaking stand his smirk! “Naruto, why can’t you just take it for what it is?” I looked at him strangely, I’m sure, because I was convinced that there was something else to it. There had to be. Why else would Uchiha Sasuke, ice prince, darling of every man, woman and child in Konoha, decide that he liked my company? Then, I felt a poke on my forehead. “Stop thinking before you hurt yourself.” There was nothing else for it. I just did what he said and stopped thinking. Felt pretty good, actually.
As soon as I relaxed, I was on my way to dreamland again. Don’t you just love that place between sleep and awake? I do. Because I was there, just on the edge of a dream, when I felt something warm and slightly damp on my cheek. “Mm?” I mumbled sleepily.
“Good-night kiss, Naruto.”
“Oh…is that what that was?” And I was out like a light.
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“Dobe? What are you doing?”
Naruto jumped in his seat, hurriedly punching buttons. In a flash, all traces of what he had just written were gone from the screen. He nearly sighed in relief. “Nothing. I was just playing around.”
“You break that computer, and you’re getting me a new one.”
“Teme!” The blonde yelled, before stomping out of the room and into the living room, where another B-movie was about to start on late-night cable TV.
Sasuke walked over to the computer curiously, and pressed two buttons. Smiling, he looked at what the moron had been doing. Quietly, he said, “Online Journal, eh? I’ll have to look at that later.”
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End.
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A/N: Come on, guys! Review for me!!!!
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Table of Contents
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Chapter notes: As I said in the summary. Beware the cuteness. This is a one-shot, slight AU, with only two necessary characters. Sasuke and Naruto. I had a lot of fun doing this with no sleep at 2 a.m. Huzzah for insomnia!
Warnings:
L--mild language, may not be suitable for readers under the age of 12.
S-A--Shounen-Ai (boy-love).
Legal Stuffiness: I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters therein. Kishimoto Masashi, sole proprietor. I do not own The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, or any of its characters, concepts, or situations. They all belong to the genius of Larry Blamire.