Yuki stood waiting at the gate for the two women that made the promise to lead her to rescue the man she loves. She waited and waited but it was already eight am and there was no sign. Yuki was not the type of woman to be fooled, she suspected that they thought she was too much of a woman to want to go and fight so they went without her. Yuki glared at the thought of it. She wanted to be the one to save Itachi Sama, even though he probably did not even know her name or remember her. It was true she brought tea to the Akatsuki hideout on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays but she was always shy with them and kept her head down at all times. “this is taking long enough.” Yuki finally mumbled to herself. She opened the gate and marched along the path to the exit of her house. She would not see this path for a long time. Maybe never again.
“I’m coming Itachi Sama.” She said proudly. She glanced back at her house, as much as she loved her family she could not continue to live there. There were things that Yuki wanted to do and her father hated the idea of her doing them. Her father wanted her to get married to someone she has never met before, have his children and continue the tea business and then repeat the process once her child is old enough. That was not what Yuki wanted. She wanted to be something big, something that she would be happy with, yes, she practiced with a sword but that was because she wanted to know how to protect herself, her father could not say no to that. “I promise I will be great daddy.” She said before leaving her home forever.
%$^%&^* Everyone %&^*&
“Sasuke Kun...” Sakura looked at him. “You’ve come all the way here...there is a way to get Itachi to free me...but you won’t help...” he looked at her, his eyes weren’t the same emotionless globes that he usually had, they were different. “You are asking me to help the man that killed my family.” he said. “I didn’t think you would expect me to.” Sakura shook her head. “I..wasn’t expecting it. Konan and I were going to complete this plan on our own. I did not know that you would be here so soon. I thought we had more time. I just don’t want to have Itachi’s kids okay! I always dreamed that I would have a husband and THEN I would have kids...but not to be randomly used by the brother of the man I would do anything for...” she paused for a moment taking in everyone’s stares of confusion.
“What Sakura means is....”Konan began. “Is that there is a woman who wants to be with Itachi, but we told her that he has been kidnapped by a princess named Shamalamadingdong and that she has a army of monkeys and a one-armed shark man. We were hoping to use the Akatsuki as puppets but they are more than likely going to tell Itachi what is up.”
“Will you help us?” Konan asked Sasuke. Everyone looked at him. “Sorry, but I can’t.” He said. Sakura just looked down. She wasn’t mad, but it was kind of hurtful that Sasuke would not help.
“Shamalamadingdong...”Naruto laughed. He just could not get over it.
“Who is playing the part of the princess?” Shikamaru asked. Sakura and Konan looked at each other. “I was but now that you are here...we can use...” she looked around and then she spotted someone.
“No way am I wearing a dress.” Naruto said waving his hands in front of his face.
“Calm down Naruto.” Sakura snapped. “We can use this Idiot right here.” She pointed to the passed out Deidara. “He can’t do anything about it anyways...” Konan was about to protest. She was beginning to feel bad for Deidara, after all, she did love him, it was deep down, maybe this was just too much for her to take. “Come on Konan, it won’t be for a long time, just a couple of hours. “ Sakura said noticing Konan looking at Deidara. “How did you-“
“I can tell by the way you stare at him when he has his shirt off.” Sakura replied and Konan went redder than she ever went. “I don’t stare...” Konan mumbled. “Yeah! That’s what forehead said when Sasuke was-“ and then she was tackled by Sakura. “Keep your mouth shut pig!” Sakura hissed. “Forehead, it is so obvious that you-“Sakura covered the blonde’s mouth. “I said shut it!” the Pinkette snapped.
“Cat fight!”Naruto said excitedly.
“BAKA!” Sasuke snapped and hit Naruto. “they are not fighting...it’s just what they usually do...still...”
“Stupid pig...”Sakura hissed.
“Billboard brow.” Ino snapped back.
Konan watched the two girls fight and sighed. “Okay break it up. We have a princess to dress up.” Then she looked at Sasuke. “Even though you would probably be prettier in a dress.” She mumbled under her breath.
“This is perfect.” Ino said, already searching through Konan’s closet. Who knew she had princess like attire? It was a pretty red gown that flowed and was designed to hug curves.
“Wake him up and make him do that sexy jutsu thing.” Ino said. Naruto suddenly objected. “He can’t just perfect it. It takes time and practice to be as sexy as can be.” Sakura shook her head. “he doesn’t need to be sexy, he just needs to be a girl with curves so he can fit in to Konan’s dress.”
“I’ll go in to his mind to activate the sexy jutsu.” Ino said and focused and within seconds she was in Deidara’s mind. He opened his eyes and looked around, because he was being controlled by Ino he walked gracefully rather than the normal Akatsuki man strut. “Hand me that dress.” Ino said and normally she would have just changed right then and there but because the men in the room began objecting Ino rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom.
“Is there a reason why Deidara gets to have bigger breasts than me?” Ino objected from the bathroom so everyone could hear. “Ino, he is 4 years older than you, it is to be expected.” Sakura answered. They heard Ino pout. “No fair. These are great, mine are just-“
“Perfect the way they are.” Chouji answered for her. Everyone looked at him. “Pffh...you guys would agree if you saw.” He defended. Ino squealed in the bathroom. “thank you Chou Chou bear.”
“If you are finished , then can you come here...because Yuki is on her way.” Sakura said. “How do you know...?” Naruto asked. “She wants to rescue the man she loves; I know exactly how she feels.” She smiled at Sasuke before turning to the rest of them. “Naruto, you use multi shadow clone jutsu and turn in to kung fu monkeys.”
“How?” Naruto asked.
“I have monkey costumes.” Konan said. Everyone looked at her weirdly. “I wanted to dress the Akatsuki men in these when they were sleeping okay! It was going to be a April fool’s joke.”Konan explained.“Shikamaru you can be the one armed Shark man...Sakura and I will pretend to fight you to rescue Itachi. Now all we have to do is kidnap him.”
“I can do that.” Sakura said. “It won’t be hard.” Sasuke stepped forward and opened his mouth to protest but Sakura held up a hand. “you said you didn't want to help and now I am doing this without you.” She let him pull her in to a hug. “Be careful.” He said without wanting to let her go. “I will.” Sakura said and then ran out of the room. “I’ll contact you in thirty minutes.” And she went off to look for Itachi.
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