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He is not here.. by Jinxkirin

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He is not here..


A young boy walks along a street alone, looking nowhere except his own feet. Many people passes by, sometimes trying to push him away from their way, but he doesn’t care. He just walks farther.

His hands cold in thin black gloves, his body shivers a little from freezing weather, but he refuses to wear his fur hat, which is laying in the bag behind his back. A long black coat barely heats him up on this chill cold, but he doesn’t care. He just goes farther.

Some girl steps right on his feet, rather painfully, and shouts something about “watch where are ya going, moron”. And he mutters slightly “sorry..”. It didn’t even came to his mind that that was she who should apologize, for him it doesn’t matter.

He holds a key in his hand inside his right pocket of the coat. It’s already warm and starts warming his fingers back. “how interesting,” he thinks. “the metal was very cold at first, but now it helps me to get warm a bit..”

He stops suddenly right next to a big placard of some famous band. He likes this band.. They are playing tonight at some café at 8pm. Nice time, nice place, nice music.. The boy rises his left hand and moves it through his spiky blond hair. He would like to go if he had money.. But he does not, so he just starts to go again.

All of a sudden an old man starts talking to him. He doesn’t notice it at first, but then he sees a warm smile on the man’s face, he smiles too. With soft and calm voice the man says something about “a young and pretty boy like you shouldn’t go around without a hat on this kind of weather”. On what the boy answers that he has a hat and he will wear it later. The old man just smiles and starts walking away. Just before passing the boy by he says “be happy”. The boy’s big blue eyes widened from the surprise and a slight warm feeling lightened inside his heart. He smiles and goes farther.

Crossing the street and going through big metal gates, he walks into a public park. His stomach growls very loudly and the realization of the whole day without eating comes to mind. He sees a man selling hotdogs and buys one. Not very healthy food, but he doesn’t have a choice.

Eating silently he walks to one of the less crowded alley. Only now he notices all that snow around – on the ground, trees, bushes and benches. He heard something about a big snowfall on TV last night, but he didn’t care much to look outside a window. And this morning he was too lost in thoughts to look around.

Walking down the alley, he sees a raven unsuccessfully trying to find some food under the snow. The bird’s wings were colored in the shade of black that it was almost deep blue on the sunlight.. He likes this colour.. It reminds him of someone..

The boy smiles then takes a bit of bread from his hotdog and throws it to the raven. The bird happily takes it and flies away. He laughs when notices other two ravens nearby looking straight at him and waiting. When they came closer, he throws them the bread too. After some time there is already a dozen birds around him and nothing left from the hotdog. The boy laughs openly and apologizes to them saying “Sorry, I don’t have food anymore”.

His blue eyes filled with childish happiness and he is laughing a bit more, but then, all of a sudden he realizes that he forgot.. For this little moment he forgot about the pain that was inside of him all this day. And now.. after the birds understood that there is not any food anymore and flew to other people or just away.. the pain returns to him. With a new force it is in his heart again..

He sits on a bench and looks at the happy couple that went past him just now. While sitting here, he was thinking only one thing. Only one sentence: “he is not here”. He feels like crying, but no. He is not a crybaby, he won’t cry. However, this sentence was like an echo in his head.

The day turns night and the boy is still sitting here, on the bench. He looks at the watches on his left wrist and sees that is not as late as it seems. He remembers that in this time of year night comes early, suddenly and unnoticeably. The boy rises and starts walking again.

The chill becomes too much to handle and he decides to finally wear a hat. The warm fur heats his face and the pleasant feeling makes him smile a bit. The boy walks through already lifeless park alley again staring only at his feet.

Walking past one of the street lamps he sees small shadows dancing on the snow. “What insects can it be? In the middle of December...” He rises his head slowly and sees many snowflakes falling from the sky. A warm yellow light of the street lamp illuminates them, making the picture wonderfully attractive.

The boy stays there smiling for a while, trying to memorize such a fantastic view. He knows he should go home or else he’ll catch a cold, but.. “he is not here”.. the smile disappears from his face and tears begin falling down the cheeks. No, he is not a crybaby, but everyone has their own limit..

The snow stops falling and the chill surrounds the boy’s body again. The wet cheeks are becoming numb, so he walks faster towards the home. It’s very dark already, but still he sees the house. There is only one thing left – to cross the street and he will be at home. The boy looks at his left, then right to check if there are some cars, and starts walking across. “but he is not here..”

He stops completely. He doesn’t want to go. No, he won’t go. No. Because today, as yesterday and many days before yesterday the house is empty. This very big and pretty house will be frightfully empty tonight, as it will be tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and after, and after.. The key that was warming his fingers up all day is still in the right pocket of his coat, but it’s heavy and cold now. Does he really have to go there?

A freezing flaw makes him shiver and the boy realizes that he can’t just stay outside all night, so he really has to go inside. Maybe he will make himself a cup of hot cocoa.. Quietly, the boy crosses the street and finally walks through the gates.

Coming to the front door he notices a tall black figure. He know this figure pretty well. These long legs in wide shoulders. These raven – exactly raven – hair, and midnight black eyes.. He runs towards this person without any background thought and hugs him tightly, like his whole life depends on it. He buries his face in familiar warms of a black coat while long gentle hands embraces him back.
“C’mon, Dobe, I’m here..”
He is here.. he is here..
“Will you make me cocoa, Teme?” the boy asks smiling.

The End.
Chapter end notes: Tell me what you think about it!
JinxKirin
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