Sasuke smiled at the teenager who walked in. He was a handsome young man, a son he should and was proud of. Growing up in a single parent household was never easy. But growing up with Sasuke as his father had to prove hard. But Fugaku was well adjusted, intelligent, and he'd learned to handle his father's unusual behavior.
Sasuke loved his son more than anyone else. He would never admit it to the younger Uchiha, but he truly did. Sasuke loved few people, and those he did love were protected by his powerful name. Sasuke's wife, Fugaku's mother, had died. She left them alone and Sasuke was left alone to raise their son. But it was okay. He was strong enough to handle it.
“Dad,” Fugaku asked softly, dropping heavily onto the couch.
Sasuke looked at his son again. Worry filled him as he took in Fugaku's appearance. His handsome face looked tired, worn. He was exhausted. His very presence gave off the vibe of sadness, of mourning. It was something he hadn't seen in years, since Hinata had died.
“What's wrong?” Sasuke asked gently. He laid down the papers he'd been holding and shifted on the couch to look at his son.
Sasuke watched as Fugaku's face practically crumpled. Tears poured from his dark eyes. He wanted to wrap his arms around his son's weeping form, but he couldn't. He couldn't. He could not let Fugaku see his desire to protect his son. He closed his eyes against the sight and ran a hand through his dark hair. His only son was breaking and Sasuke couldn't do anything.
“He's dead, dad.” Fugaku grabbed a pillow from the couch and he wrapped his arms around it. Sasuke could see the need for comforting, the need to be held, but he couldn't give it. He could not hug his son. The younger Uchiha buried his face in the pillow and cried freely. “I couldn't... I wasn't there.”
“Your... boyfriend?” Sasuke asked slowly, hesitating to say that word. He couldn't understand Fugaku's willingness and eagerness to pursue a relationship with another man, but he wouldn't stop his son either. After all, he understood what it was like to want something you couldn't have. The desperation and the devastation when it was forced out of your life. Sasuke understood that.
“He's dead,” Fugaku sobbed softly into the pillow.
Sasuke wished for the strength to reach out to his son and pull him against his chest. He wanted to hold him and comfort him, but he couldn't. He could still hear his father's voice in his ear.
Sasuke sat before his parents with his head bowed. He knew they both thought he should be ashamed of himself, but he just couldn't be. He was only fifteen years old, he couldn't help being curious. Especially when it was somebody like Naruto.
“Do you realize how disgusting it is to be caught like that with a boy?” his father roared. Black eyes were narrowed in anger, his hands fisted at his side as he paced angrily. “It makes you a faggot. A fairy, a ponce, a girly-boy, a wuss, a bitch. It makes you gay.” he finished with a soft snarl. His mother, usually so kind and gentle, said nothing.
Sasuke didn't get a chance to react before a fist hit him. He fell over from the impact of the punch, surprise and shock coursing through him. He didn't get a chance to recover before his father attacked him. Sasuke could only curl in on himself as the punches rained down around him.
When his father was finished, Sasuke was shivering, crying. He couldn't think straight. He felt broken, beyond repair. And it was all because his father had caught him giving Naruto a blow job.
Sasuke grunted as his father grabbed a handful of hair and lifted his head. In a breathy snarl, he told Sasuke very softly, very menacingly: “You do not show another man affection. You do not kiss him. You do not hug him. You do not hold his hand. And you most certainly do not suck another man's dick!”
His head was released and Sasuke fell back to the floor he'd been laying on. Before darkness took him, he saw his mother, sitting stoically, approvingly.
Sasuke bowed his head, closing his dark eyes painfully. His father had beat it into him. Sasuke was never allowed to be close to another man. He'd been thrown into sports and reminded that he wasn't allowed to do anything but passingly touch another man.
And he'd never seen Naruto again.
When he'd met Hinata, he relearned how to be human again. He stopped being the sports oriented asshole his father had made him into. And when Fugaku was born, Hinata made him swear that no matter what their son did or wanted, Sasuke would love him regardless. Sasuke would never go back on that promise.
When Fugaku had brought a man home, when he'd told Sasuke that he was dating him, the elder Uchiha had smiled as much as he could, he'd nodded and accepted it. His son was happy with his hand in another man's hand. And Sasuke wasn't going to take that away from him. But right now, he almost wish he had. If he had protected Fugaku from this relationship, then he wouldn't have to deal with the pain his son was in today.
“Fugaku,” Sasuke murmured softly. He reached over and gently touched his son's hand, allowing himself to show no more affection for the younger man. “It'll be okay,” he promised softly.
“He's gone dad,” he whimpered. “Will... will you hold me, please?” he asked desperately.
Sasuke loved the fact that he'd been able to raise a child that was so completely different from the expected behavior of the Uchiha bloodline, somebody who was actually really human. Fugaku carried on their bloodline, and he was caring. He liked to be around other people, liked to be social, liked to be around people. And he was secretly fond of the fact that he'd been able to allow his son to pursue his relationship with the other boy, especially without the fears that his father would attack him for allowing such a weakness to show.
“I can't,” Sasuke whispered. It was too hard to hold him. If his son had been born a daughter, he would have held her. But Fugaku was a man. He'd been born a man, and he had to act like a man. He couldn't allow the younger Uchiha to know how much he wanted to hold him, to know how much he wanted to comfort him, but couldn't.
Fugaku knew that no matter what, his father loved him. But he also knew that no matter what, Sasuke would never openly show that to him. So he would have to settle for the hand on his own hand. He would have to settle for the soft words that had left his mouth. He would have to be okay with the fact that Sasuke would never be able to be for Fugaku what Hinata would have been able to be. What somebody else would have been for him.
Fugaku's dark eyes looked up and glared sadly at his father. “Excuse me dad,” he murmured softly.
Without waiting for his father's answer, he threw the pillow back onto the couch and ran from the room. Sasuke pulled his knees to his chest and bowed his head. He couldn't be what Fugaku needed, not in this one moment of pain, in this one moment of desperation. And it was his father's fault. There were hot tears in his eyes as he struggled to try to talk himself into going after his son. But his body wouldn't move.
After all, a man did not show affection for another man.
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Story notes: http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600093943
written for move_them_hands on aff.
beta'd with love by ahjareyn and my wonderful stalker kate.