If I could turn back time I would do a lot of things differently. There are so many things I regret, so many things I would change.
One thing more than anything else.
It happened a long time ago. Now there’s nothing I can do to turn it around. I wish more than anything that it wasn’t like this. I wish I hadn’t hurt you. I wish I hadn’t destroyed you. I practically killed you, the way you should have been. You didn’t deserve that, and neither did the rest of them.
You were all alone, and I’m sorry. I wish you knew how sorry.
I wish I’d never run away. I was weak. I should have stayed, or taken you with me. I should have cared for you, looked after you, treasured you. I did love you, but you never knew it. I should have shown you. I should have told you just how much you meant to me. How you kept me sane a lot longer than if I hadn’t had you. How a lot of the time I lived for you, when everything else seemed so pointless.
It’s lost now. I regret that more than everything else put together. I will never be who I should have been for you. You’ll never see me how you should have been able to. You’ll never look up to me. You’ll never smile when you see me. You hate me. You’d kill me in a second, given the chance, without even a thought. I told you to. I can’t change it anymore.
Maybe it’s for the best. You were supposed to look up to me, and for a long time you did, but you’re special. You deserve better than an idol like me. You deserve somebody strong, like you are. In a way you are my idol. I do admire you, I always have, though it’s not something you will ever recognize.
I’m trapped. So I live the life I condemned myself to. I keep up the façade, to stop myself from losing my sanity completely. I don’t think about it anymore. Thinking hurts too much. I deserve the pain, I know, because it’s nothing compared to what I did to you. I wish I hadn’t.
Sometimes I think of coming back to you, but I don’t want to damage you anymore.
It’s too late now, I left it too long, so these feelings will stay unknown you and everybody else, but maybe one day you’ll realise this:
I love you, little brother.
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Please review, I've never written anything like this, so I want to know if you enjoyed it or not. ChiyoChan
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Chapter notes: Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any money from this, sadly.