Ayame’s Dilemma
Ayame never believed in love at first sight but that was before last week. That was when she saw Kakashi-sensei’s face. She had seen him around before. She always thought he was a bit strange, but in a cool mysterious way. He had interesting hair, and one nice eye, but as everything else was covered up, she thought no more about him. Once in awhile he would come by and order ramen to take-out, but he never ate at the stand until then. Since then, she could not get him out of her thoughts. Even her father would comment every so often, "Naruto’s sensei sure is something. He’s the top Konoha jounin you know. Quite a catch for…anyone." Then his eyes would glaze over and a sigh would pass his lips.
Ayame found herself spacing out at work, over-cooking the ramen, over-seasoning the stock, breaking the dishes. The only one who didn’t notice the deterioration in the quality of their food was Naruto, who would eat anything no matter how hot or bland. As she served the steaming hot bowls to the various customers with the white vapor obscuring their faces, she imagined each one to be Kakashi, and imagined he was the one thanking her for her fine service. It was becoming an obsession as she eavesdropped on conversations, hoping someone would mention his name so she could glean the smallest particle of information about this mysterious man.
How could she, a regular civilian girl, get his attention? She was nothing beautiful or classy or mysterious or exciting. Nothing like some of those kunoichi she’s seen around the village. Maybe she should wear more fishnet - that seemed to be quite popular. She was pretty enough under her plain robe and kerchief, but no one ever noticed. She’s been waiting and hoping Kakashi would come back to the stand, but she hasn’t seen him since.
Ayame knew nothing about love strategy. She only had her father, whose advice on love was equating everything to ramen. "Love is like a bowl of ramen. Sometimes it’s finished in seconds, sometimes it lasts much longer. Sometimes the noodles are short and sometimes they’re nice and long. Some bowls of ramen have lots of variety, with roast pork, seaweed, egg, vegetables, tofu…but some are standard and boring with only one position…er, I mean top... er, I mean condiment…" If only her mother were still around, perhaps she could have given Ayame some real advice about men instead of some half-boiled philosophy based on egg noodles.
Who could she get to be her ally, to help her gain his attention? Forget about Naruto, if he had any idea of her feelings, he would exclaim so loudly that everyone in the village would know in seconds. How could she find out whether Kakashi would be interested? Whether he had someone already? Maybe that girl Naruto likes, the pink hair girl on his team, the one with the funny forehead. What was her name? Something boringly common…Sakura, that was it. Maybe she could enlist her help…
DAY 1
Naruto’s Ramen
Naruto has noticed that his ramen has not been as good as usual. In fact, his cup ramen is better! What is going on with Ichiraku? For the past week, the ramen has been downright bad. And that’s saying a lot coming from he who would eat mint-bubblegum flavored ramen. Finally, he can’t take it anymore and loudly complains, "What’s going on here? I pay good hard-earned money for this ramen! It sucks!" (his usual tactful self). But Ayame has her back to him. She’s thinking about how luscious Kakashi’s lips looked, so she doesn’t hear him at all.
Her father looks up in surprise from cutting up some daikon. "What’s wrong Naruto?"
"What’s wrong? What’s wrong is your ramen! It’s been terrible all week!"
"But you ate it all and didn’t complain. In fact, you’ve had several bowls each time. Is this an attempt to get a refund or a free bowl?" he frowns at Naruto suspiciously.
"You try it! I’m not crazy!" Naruto protests.
He tentatively takes a pair of chopsticks and tries a few strands of noodles. His brow furrows and he spits out the noodles. He takes a small sip of the soup and coughs it out - all over Naruto. He turns to address his daughter, "What the hell is wrong with you? These noodles are sweet! Ugh, you used sugar instead of salt!"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry dad. I’ll use more sugar next time…"
"Sigh, I’m sorry Naruto. It seems that my daughter has fallen in love with your sensei. She’s had her head in the clouds. I’ll give her a thorough scolding later. Here’s a couple of free coupons…"
Naruto assumes he must mean Iruka sensei since he’s a regular customer. And he can see how a girl could fall for Iruka sensei – he’s such a great guy. It never occurs to Naruto that he can possibly mean Kakashi sensei, who is incredibly weird, lazy, perverted…no girl would fall for that.
Life is Like a Bowl of Ramen
"Ayame, what the hell is wrong with you? Thanks to your incompetence, sales have been down 20% this week. Tips have been near nonexistent. Are you trying to ruin us?"
"I’m sorry Dad. It’s just been hard to concentrate lately."
"I know how you feel about Kakashi sensei. I mean, who can blame you. He’s really…sigh…if I were…sigh…but if word gets out that our ramen’s no good anymore, do you think he’s going to come by here ever again?"
That shocks Ayame back to reality. If Kakashi were to think that she couldn’t cook, she would have no advantage over any other girl. If he didn’t come by the ramen stand anymore, what chance would she have at all? In fact, she must double her efforts to be the best ramen cook in all of Fire Country!
"Dad, you’re absolutely right. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? I’m going to be the best ramen cook ever!"
"Well, maybe second next to me. Just remember that life is like a bowl of ramen, it’s served steaming hot, but if it sits around too long, it gets cold."
"Umm, I think I missed the analogy there."
"Well, you know, it means…it means that you can’t sit on the shelf too long or you’ll be an old maid."
"Gee, thanks dad. I’m not that old yet."
"Time goes by fast. If you find someone you like, go for it!"
"Dad, you’re absolutely right. That’s exactly what I’m going to do starting tomorrow!"
DAY 2
Naruto’s Advice
"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei," Naruto says with a sly look in his foxlike eyes. It’s the end of the day and Iruka is getting ready to leave the classroom.
"Hi there Naruto-kun, how’s the training going?"
"Oh, forget that," Naruto’s so excited, he wants to burst out the information but he also wants to stretch it out, make Iruka guess. "I know something you don’t."
"Hmmf, I somehow doubt that."
"Yes I do," Naruto insists. "I know someone who likes you."
"I’m sure lots of people like me. I’m such a great guy."
"No, I mean, like you like you."
"What do you mean? You know I don’t speak tween ."
"Grrr, I mean I know someone who wants to date you."
"Oh," Iruka blushes, "umm, guy or girl?"
"A girl of course! "
Iruka sighs in relief, "Well, who is it?"
"Guess."
"Just tell me, I don’t have time for guessing games."
"Ask me three questions and take a guess."
"Sigh, fine. Is she of legal age?"
"Huh?"
"At least eighteen."
"Hmm, I’m not sure. I think so."
"Okay, is she a kunoichi?"
"Nope."
Good, Iruka thinks, most of them are kind of bitchy. All right one last question. "Hmm, is it someone I know?"
"Well…what do you mean by know?"
"Do I know her name?"
"I don’t know if you know her name."
"Sigh, what’s her name?"
"I don’t know her name."
"Wait a minute. You’re telling me you know a girl who likes me, but you don’t know who she is?" Iruka is getting annoyed.
"I know who she is, but I just don’t know her name."
"Grrr, just tell me!"
"It’s the ramen girl at Ichiraku."
"The ramen girl?"
"Yeah, her dad told me."
"Hmm, well, she is pretty cute. And she’s sure a good cook. Well, at least her ramen is good. But…I don’t know…"
"What’s wrong? Don’t you like girls?"
"Sure I do!" His face turns red. "It’s just that…I’m pretty busy, I don’t know if I have time right now for a girlfriend..."
"That sounds like a fishy excuse! You have time to spend with me right? Just go for it!"
"Girls require a lot more time and effort. I’m not sure how to approach this…"
"Just send her some flowers."
"Yeah, all girls like flowers, right?"
"Unless she’s allergic."
"Allergic? Is she allergic?"
"How would I know? Why are you even taking advice from a twelve-year-old…"
Ayame’s Alliance
Sakura is not a frequent Ichiraku customer as she has a mom who cooks her dinner and packs her lunch. On her day off, Ayame tries to bump into Sakura by scouting out her house. "Hello, Sakura-chan," she says pleasantly when she sees Sakura returning home from training.
Sakura stares at her blankly and manages a weak, "Er, hello…" while inner Sakura is yelling, "Who the hell are you?! Some kind of stalker?!"
Ayame realizes she is in her normal clothes, not her ramen stand outfit, so Sakura does not recognize her. "It’s me Ayame."
Sakura: "?"
"From Ichiraku."
"Oh! Hello, how are you. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you."
"That’s all right. I get quite a lot of that," Ayame says with a smile while thinking, what good is that big old forehead if you can’t use it to recognize someone out of uniform? "I was wondering if you could help me…" she blushes.
Sakura sees her face turn red and deduces it must be about a guy. She becomes suddenly interested, then suspicious. Inner Sakura: "It better not involve Sasuke, or I’ll help her with a kunai in her gut!" But she says sweetly, "Sure, if I can. What kind of help do you need?"
"I’m afraid that ever since last week…I’ve had a crush on…" she hesitates and blushes several shades darker.
Last week? It better not be Sasuke! Would Sasuke go for an older woman? She does have a better figure than I do. Inner Sakura: "I’ll kill her first!" Sakura: "Yes? Go on."
"I’m in love with Kakashi-sensei!" Ayame blurts out.
Sakura thinks, Hey that’s right. She got to see Kakashi sensei’s face. Damn, and we didn’t! "So what does Kakashi sensei look like? We didn’t get to see him without his mask."
Ayame gushes, "He has the most perfect nose. Not too long or short or narrow or broad. It gives him a perfect profile. The tip is slightly pointy, but not sharp. His mouth is perfectly shaped in a slight smile. His lips are sensuous but not too full. His teeth are white and perfectly aligned. His chin is not too strong or weak and gives him such a distinguished air. His whole face has such character. He’s absolutely perfect! Sigh…"
Sakura thinks, Geez, she’s got it bad, it’s sickening the way she’s gushing over him. Wait, I don’t do that, do I? "All right, I’ll help you on one condition."
Ayame, "Anything!"
Sakura, "You have to help me get a look at his face!"
DAY 3
Kakashi’s Mistake
Sakura finds Kakashi sitting by the riverbank reading a book with a banned symbol on the back. Does that ramen girl know what kind of books he reads? Hey, whatever, to each her own.
"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei."
"Oh, hello there Sakura-chan. Umm, we don’t have training scheduled for today, do we?"
Inner Sakura: "You should know you lazy idiot!" Sakura: "No, I was just taking a walk. I saw you here, so I just wanted to say hi."
"Oh, okay," Kakashi goes back to his book.
So much for a meaningful conversation, let’s try this again. "Umm, Kakashi sensei, I was wondering…"
"Hmm?"
"Well, when you were in the hospital…I’m sorry I didn’t visit you as much as I should have. Was there someone who visited you regularly?"
"Yeah, the nurse, and the doctor."
"No, I mean was there someone special who visited you?"
"No medical specialist until Tsunade-sama arrived."
"Grrr, no I mean, is there someone special in your life?" Sakura blushes.
"Oh." Kakashi sees her blushing and thinks Well, these things happen. If it weren’t for her Sasuke obsession, it probably would have happened a long time ago. After all, I am really cool, though maybe not quite as cool as Sasuke, but I could have whooped his butt at the same age. He hesitates before he answers. I’ll have to let her down delicately. "Don’t you think you’re a bit young for me Sakura-chan? I mean, I know I read these books, but they only involve consenting adults."
"What?! You think… I…?! Ewwww!!!" Inner Saukra: "No way old man! This is sooo not worth the humiliation! I don’t care if I never see his face! Forget it!" Sakura runs off in a huff.
Kakashi thinks, that was kind of strange. I wonder what’s going on…
Ayame’s Plea
Sakura finds Ayame taking inventory at the ramen stand before the lunch hour rush.
"I found out for you that Kakashi sensei is unattached. The rest of it is up to you." Sakura says abruptly.
"What do you mean? That’s it? You’re not helping me anymore? Can’t you find out if he likes me at all?" Ayame is near hysterical.
"Uh, things got a bit a complicated." Inner Sakura: "No more humiliation! Go find out yourself you pathetic wimp!"
"Please Sakura. Please just find out if he’s the least bit interested in me. I promise I’ll get you a look at his face. Plus a ramen coupon!"
Inner Sakura: "Like hell! It’s not worth it!" Sakura: "Uh, oh, all right. I’ll try again. But it better be a good look!" Sakura thinks, I’m such a sucker for romance. Sigh, if only I could get Sasuke to like me. Well, if I can get these two together…I’ll just have to live vicariously.
Sakura’s Advice
Kakashi hears someone approaching and looks up from his book. "Sakura-chan, I’m sorry about earlier. Ha-ha, my mistake."
Sakura thinks, he hasn’t budged in like three hours. What the hell does he do all day when we’re not training?
"Uh, Kakashi sensei, what I meant to say earlier is that I know someone who likes you." Why beat around the bush, mind as well just tell him. That way he won’t make the same mistake again.
"I’m sure lots of people like me. I’m such a cool guy."
"No, I mean, like you like you."
"Huh? You pre-adolescents sure have a peculiar way of speaking."
"Grrr, I mean I know someone who wants to date you."
"Oh really? Hmm, guy or girl?"
"A girl of course! "
Kakashi sighs in relief, "Well, who is it?"
Sakura realizes she’s forgotten her name. "Uh…her name is…you know her …she’s the ramen girl at Ichiraku."
"Hmm, well she does make good ramen, and she is pretty cute...but…"
"What’s wrong? Don’t you like girls?"
"Hmm? Of course, it’s just that… women require a lot of time and effort. I don’t know if I have time right now..."
"You’ve been sitting and reading here at the same spot for hours! You mean you’re just too lazy to pursue her."
"Well…" he shrugs.
"Why don’t you send her some flowers to show you’re interested. That takes minimal time and effort."
"I’ll think about it…"
Flowers
During his lunch hour, Iruka slips away from the academy to pay a visit to the flower shop.
"Hello, Ino-chan, you’re minding the shop today?"
"Good afternoon Iruka-sensei. I’m just here for a little while. My mom had to run some errands. If you need any help, please ask."
"I’d like to buy some flowers…" Iruka blushes.
"Yeah, that’s why you’re in a flower shop, can you be more specific? Who is it for?"
"It’s for this girl…" Iruka turns redder.
"Well, I sure hope so. You wouldn’t send flowers to a guy, would you?"
"No, well, maybe, but I want to send some flowers to the ramen girl at Ichiraku."
"Okay, what kind and how many?"
"I don’t know, that’s where I need help."
"You should have said that in the first place," Ino says impatiently. "All right, tell me about her. What’s her favorite flower, favorite color, favorite scent…"
"I really don’t know anything about her."
"Just send her a dozen long stem red roses. A guy can never go wrong with that." Plus it’s the most expensive item here. Mom will be pleased! "What about her name? How should I address the card?"
"The card?"
"Yeah, you know "To so and so, from so and so…"
"Oh, that would be a problem. I don’t know her name."
"Do you know if she likes you?"
"Yes, Naruto told me that her dad told him that she told him that she’s in love with me."
"Perfect! Then you don’t need a card. She’ll naturally assume it’s from you. Plus the added mystery of a possible secret admirer will make an even better impression! Sigh, how romantic."
"Are you sure?"
"Trust me, I’m a woman, I know these things."
"But you’re twelve years old. Should I be taking advice from a twelve year old?"
"Of course! By the way, we have a special package plan…"
After her second meeting with Kakashi, Sakura returns to the ramen stand to inform Ayame of the current status of the Kakashi-sensei mission.
Ayame: "So? So? What did he say? What did you tell him? You didn’t tell him I was in love with him did you? I’d die of embarrassment!"
"Of course not! I just told him that if he’s unattached, and if he’s looking for someone, that I happened to know that you were available. And if he’s interested, I suggested he send you some flowers."
"Hmm," Ayame thinks it over, "that’s good, very good. It doesn’t make me look desperate and the ball is in his court. You are indeed really clever, just like Naruto-kun says. Thanks so much Sakura-chan!"
"Hey, no problem, just remember your promise."
"Huh? Promise? Oh, here’s the the ramen coupon."
"Hey! I meant his face!" Sakura says angrily as she grabs the coupon.
"Oh, yes, of course! I’ll be in touch," Ayame says excitedly.
Later that day Ayame receives a dozen long stem roses with no note. She naturally assumes it’s from Kakashi. "Wow, he sure went all out! These are expensive. What a great guy!"
DAY 4
Good Business
Ayame is on cloud nine! Maybe even cloud 9.5! Her ramen is surpassing all human effort! Service with an extra broad smile and a twinkle in her eyes. The customers now notice that she is quite pretty. Each male customer thinks she’s flirting with him, that she’s treating him special. She gives each customer extra noodles! extra toppings! extra condiments!
"Ayame, what are you doing? You’re cutting into the profits. Why are you giving everyone extra noodles, extra toppings and extra condiments? I’ll have to raise the prices now."
"But, we’re getting more customers now, aren’t we? They’re coming back for dinner. It’s a better value for the price."
"Well, that’s true. Hmm, I’ll have to crunch some numbers to evaluate our profit margin. You know, running a business is like a bowl of ramen. If it’s an extra big bowl, you’ll have food left over."
"I don’t get it."
"You know…it means…it means…it’s like the law of diminishing returns, you know."
"No."
"Sigh, the food that is left over is wasted and it cuts into the profits."
"Dad, I also bought a special heating apparatus with a thermal indicator."
"A what?"
"A new pot and a thermometer."
"What for?"
"I’ve been thinking, that in order to make the perfect bowl of noodles, I’ll start with the serving temperature. If we keep the stock at slightly above body temperature, it should be not too hot, more than warm, the perfect temperature to drink. This pots heats more evenly and the thermometer will monitor the temperature."
"You’ve been really thinking about this haven’t you?"
"I’m seriously serious. Now about the size of the vegetables…"
Naruto’s Observations
Wow, ever since Iruka sensei sent her those flowers, the ramen at Ichiraku has been amazing! Naruto thinks excitedly as he finishes his ninth bowl. Iruka has been too embarrassed to join him at Ichiraku lately, but that should change soon. When the ramen girl finds out that he, the great Naruto, is responsible for getting the two of them together, why it could mean free ramen for life! That thought excites him more than learning the rasengan!
"Hey, hey, miss, how about another bowl?"
"Another Naruto-kun? Don’t you think you’ve had enough?"
"Maybe, but I’m not bursting yet. I have to say your ramen has been better than ever!"
"Do you really think so, Naruto-kun?"
"Yes!"
"Well, I’m trying to be the best ramen chef in all of Fire Country. Say, why hasn’t your sensei been around?" Ayame blushes.
"Oh, well, he’s been busy, but I’m sure you’ll be seeing him soon," Naruto says while in between gulping down huge chopstickfuls of noodles.
Iruka’s Dilemma
Iruka has been purposely avoiding the ramen stand. He’s having his self-packed lunch at his desk where Naruto tracks him down.
"Hey, hey, Iruka sensei, how’s it going with the ramen girl?"
"Well, I sent her flowers yesterday and I signed up for a package plan so she’ll get more flowers today and tomorrow."
"That’s it?"
"Well, yeah, what’s wrong with that?"
"What about a date?"
"I’m working up to it. Don’t worry, I have a plan."
"Tell me, tell me!"
"For the third bouquet I’ll include a note asking her out for a movie and then a late dinner or drinks."
"How…boring."
"You think so?" asks Iruka suddenly concerned..
Flashback:
Ino: "Now after the third bouquet, you should include a note asking her out to a movie and then dinner."
Iruka: "You mean dinner and a move."
Ino: "No, no! Why go out for dinner and then a movie? It makes more sense to go to a movie and then dinner. That way you’ll definitely have something to talk about during dinner or just drinks..."
"You’re a shinobi. Do something exciting with her. That’s what she’ll expect!"
"Something exciting? Hmm…like what?"
"Lets see…tree climbing? Mountain climbing? Bungee jumping? Take her on a mission to show off your skills! You can show her the sexy-no-jutsu-guy style! Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, that’s it!"
"Grrrr…I don’t think that’s a good idea! Besides, no civilians allowed on missions."
"Oh, well, what movie do you plan to see?"
"Sigh, good question." He takes out the newspaper, folds it back to the movie listings and looks at choices available. Hmm, if I take her to see ‘Make-Out Violence’ what would she think of me? No, not that one. No rated G stuff, she’d think I’m a wimp. Ok, then PG or PG-13. But PG-13 might have some bad language or sexual innuendo. Can’t have that, it might make her uncomfortable. Okay, is there a PG family flick? "I think I’ll take her to this one …"
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Chapter notes: As you know, I don't rate these things.
I do not own Naruto.