What not to wear
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto or What not to wear on TBC anyways… im on my brother’s computer because he has my laptop. Gomen for any mistakes ‘couse I don’t have my English to Japanese dictionary installed in this computer. Anyways this is my original idea so no making something like this unless you have my permission. I also do not own any store or brand in this story.
Teni Narrating speech
Bre Narrating speech
Marae Narrating speech
‘Thoughts’
“Speech”
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.: flashing light effect that’s shows before an after:.
A/N: Marae is Bre’s sister, im just their friend.
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Bre was looking on the computer pictures of the hottest guys on Naruto when suddenly…
“MY EYES! THEY BURN!”
Marae and Teni quickly ran in, “what’s going on sis?”
“Did you drop acid in your eyes?”
Bre slowly pointed at the computer screen, “its da evil green spandex of dooooooom!”
On the computer screen was a picture of Lee in a green spandex… swimsuit… that looks like what the old guys wear…
Marae’s eyes turned red from burning, “OMG! What’s that on his face? Are those caterpillars?”
Teni just stood there silently as an anime vein grew on her head, “SHUT UP!” insert explosion effect in background.
Both Marae and Bre gave a very girlish loud shriek.
“I am an author! Fear my awesome writing powers!” Teni pushed Bre out of the computer seat and opened her writing program.
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In a training ground in Konohana was Lee training his ass of, oh how I wish it was his eyebrows…
Lee looked up, “OMG! Is it you god?”
NO you fool! It is me! You’re worst nigh… I mean your dream come a reality… hehe…
“Oookkk…”
Hey Teni do you think he can dance?
“OMG? Is it god?”
…
…
…
Dunno? Let’s find out…
Suddenly thunders, explosions and scythes started pouring out of the sky as Lee started doing the jig to avoid them all.
He needs music…
Uh! Here!
That’s old people music…
I know…
Mwahaha…
Suddenly jig style music started playing and an old dude popped out of nowhere and started singing.
“Here comes the jig! Lest do the ji-“he exploded…
Cha! Bull’s eye!
Un… weren’t we here to give Lee a… the rest became a whisper
Oh yeah! But first!
A bomb marked ‘my little pony hit Lee’ as the smoke cleared up Lee was in a pink school dress with a big sing that said ‘I heart my little pony!’
OMG! I though he couldn’t look uglier!
UGH! Let’s take him before people die…
Suddenly a hand with light green nail polish came out of the sky and plucked Lee out of the face of the planet like farmers plucking chickens.
He landed on a nice comfy chair.
“Where the f-ck am I?”
Suddenly a blond girl in a black long sleeve traditional Japanese shirt, black fingerless gloves and black skirt like Ino’s walked in. (Just in case im not emo or punk or goth. I just like black.)
“OH MY GOD! It’s the devil!”
She slapped him, “no you dumbass! Im the authoress!”
“Oh”
“Now im going to show you clips that your friends have been taking for us, regarding your… fashion style.”
“YES! Let me see my spring time off youth!”
Teni sweatdroped, and on the other side of the room in the wardrobe room Bre and Marae bursted out laughing.
“Yeeaah…” she nodded while making a mental note. She took out a remote control and pressed play.
On TV was Lee in an old guy green spandex swimsuit accompanied by Gai who was in the same exact swimsuit. The dived head first into the pool, thus, the swimsuits color ran and the water turned green. Naruto ran like hell away from the green water. “OMG! It’s the evil green water of DOOM! RUN!”
Everyone in the pool area ran like crazy away from the water.
Sakura was dragging Sasuke by his swim trunks.
RIP!
Naruto and every other male in the area laughed their ass off as all the girls blushed madly.
Naruto in between his laughter managed to say something, “HA! Yours is… HA! Below average!”
“OH MY FREAKING GOD! FAST FORWARD!”
On TV was Lee in a green spandex tuxedo, sitting and watching Gai’s sister get married. Everyone in the chapel was using sunglasses to avoid an eye bleed couse by Lee.
“Fast forward to the comments now…”
On TV were Naruto and Sakura taping Lee and his grooming activities.
Sakura was holding the camera while Naruto asked all the questions.
“So… what hair gel do you use?”
Lee pulled out a little bottle of hair gel which was a suspiciously green and brown color.
“Snot-a-gel!”
Sakura turned green, “did you say… snot?”
“Yep!”
The camera fell down.
Static.
On the TV were now Tenten and Neji sneaking into Lee’s wardrobe.
Tenten slowly opened it.
Empty.
A union “WTF? GROSS!” was heard all over Konohana.
Teni pushed the stop button and turned the TV off.
“Is this enough to prove my point?”
Lee leaped up and started spouting chibi tears, “NOOO! Say it isn’t so!” the room started to flood.
Uhh… Teni? Could you tell him to stop?
Yeah Teni-ojou-chan! I just cleaned the floor!
“Lee…” the water grew another inch, “hey Lee!” the water neared the electricity output. “LEE!” a giant hand with dark green nail polish came out and slapped Lee, HEY YOU GREEN SPANDEX FREAK! THAT’S MY CLEAN FLOOR YOU’RE FLOODING!
Lee rubbed his cheek. “Ouch…”
“Now, if you mind. Could you bring your wardrobe please?”
“I am wearing my wardrobe.”
EEEWWWW! GROSS!
Teni’s face turned an interesting shade of green as she slowly backed away and laughed nervously. “Ok, now!” she threw three pictures of clothes at Lee and snapped her finger.
Lee was sucked into a giant… POPCORN BAG! Ha didn’t see that coming!
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Lee landed on the street of New York City, “Oh my god! The computers are attacking! GYA!”
Suddenly a big hand with black finger less gloves and purple nail polish slapped Lee upside the head, and ironically… no one noticed.
Know your stars. Know your stars. Know you-
Wrong show
Oh, here we go! Lee now has one week to get a total make over!
“Why do I need this again?”
Why are you here? Let’s see! Bre thinks KISAME is dead sexy! Our eyes burn just by looking at you and… hmm… you have caterpillars on your forehead!
“These aren’t caterpillars! These are the eyebrows of youth! YOUTHY, YOUTH, YOUTH!”
Can I?
No… at least not yet…
Weirdo…
Now… MOVE YOUR (censored) ASS TO THE (censored) STORES BEFORE I SHOVE A KUNAI UP YOUR-
Lee ran like hell to the closest clothes shop.
YEAH YOU BETTER RUN!
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If this was script type writing the following text belonging to Lee would be O.O.
Teni hit the psycho music!
Suddenly the psycho theme song played in the background as Lee approached this unknown territory… Hot Topic.
He bumped into someone, it was girl that used her eye shadow like Gaara, had a black goth dress and had an ass huge nose ring.
Lee ran. “EEKKK! IT’S A FREAKING EMO!”
Inside the store the emo bursted out crying, “WAAAH! MOMMY! It’s a spandex wearing freak!”
Freaks…
Yep…
Ahem! Now Lee will be going to his second store!
Girl, you are the most horrible Narrator I have ever heard!
Think you can do better?
Yes! Ahem! Now to the second store! Will Lee survive! Will he be able to avoid the evil emos of DOOM? Read more to find out!
Lee was walking through the mall when suddenly a store caught his eye… ‘Green Paradise’ he headed for the store.
The store blew up.
“Oh holy-“
HEY THIS ISNT RATED HIGH ENOUGH FOR THAT!
“Cow…”
Ok, this is were you should be!
Store 2
Lee popped out of nowhere into Pac Sun. "Find your happy place, find your happy place…" he whispered to himself.
Pansy…
He searched through the clothe racks only to find all black, grey, blue, brown but no green. “Too… much… dark…”
.He looked at the pictures Teni handed… erm, threw at him.
Picture 1:
One black polo with a big light blue line from left to right.
Baggy jeans.
Black and light blue sketchers.
Picture 2:
A dark red V neck.
Normal long length pants.
Checkered red and white shoes.
Picture 3:
White training jacket
Grey training pants.
Shinobi shoes.
“…”
Oi… is he ok?
I don’t think so…
Lee stood there silent for a few moments, “WAAAAH!” well that didn’t last long…
Dude… my ears…
Suddenly some one taped on Lee’s shoulder, he jumped up and hit his head on the shoe rack.
The store clerk saw something green, blindingly ugly and big jump up he almost instantly filed it, “OH MY GOSH! IT’S AN ALIEN! RUN!”
The whole store fled while trampling Lee turning him into a flat green mat.
“Ouch…”
A green blob with one eye closed up to Lee, “miko ukuku shoki?”
Wait! We need an alien translator.
Another green blob popped up, “No this isn’t Shoki… it’s a butt ugly alien…”
“Oh… can we blast him?”
“Yep!” both green blobs took out plasma canons and started shooting at Lee who sprung up like an accordion and ran like hell.
“GAI-SENSEI!” Lee ran up a conveniently placed tree, the aliens blowed it up and Lee fell flat on his face as he started spouting chibi tears and crying something about the end of his youth.
Shouldn’t we help him?
I guess so…
…aliens, there s a sell on Barney in the parking, I repeat there is a sale on Barney in the parking.
The aliens looked at each other as they giggled like little school girls, “BARNEY! YAY!” they skipped happily away to the parking.
Lee’s mouth dropped, ‘I was scared of THAT?’ “…” he fainted.
This is obviously getting nowhere…
We’ll try tomorrow…
Baka Lee…
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At Broken0 studios
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Teni, Bre and Marae sat around the computer.
“So… what did we achieve today?”
“Scarring Lee for life…”
Bre and Marae sweat dropped.
“tomorrow we’ll give him a complete make-over, kk?”
“YUSH!”
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The next day…
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Lee woke up in a nice comfy… ALIEN DISECTING BED!
Uhh… wrong story…
Oh right, here we go. Lee woke up in a nice comfy… garbage bin…
“ouch my- pfft- head.” He jumped out of the bin covered in lettuce, fries, cheese, candy wrappers and about anything else you can imagine.
A little girl and her mom walked by Lee, “look mommy it’s the garbage moster!” “eeekkk! Back away from the freak Kaily!” the mom dragged the girl by the ponytails running at mach 4.
Lee started spouting chibi tears. Again. “I HAVE FAILED YOU GAI-SENSEI!”
That’s it… im going in!
EEEKKK! DON’T DRAG ME A-
Suddenly a giant dog came down and started doing his ‘necesitis’ until Teni and Bre came out.
WAAAHHH! IM ALL ALONE!
“we need you to narrate, ‘kay?”
Sob. Ok…
Bre looked back.
No Teni or Lee.
“That moth-
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With Teni and Lee
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Teni passed her hand through the clothes rack filling each and every one of them as junk, something cought her eye. “HA!”
Lee jumped up from the scare and hit his head on a large carton bead on the roof that said sale on black Jounin vests. He landed flat on his face and a few tears of pain escaped his eyes. “Itai…”
Teni pulled out some baggy jeans and held them up in the air, “OH MY GOSH! These are perfect! Lets go Lee and see what else is here!” she grabbed Lee by the spandex suite giving him a ultra mega wedgy.
Lee was currently hitting every shoping car in the store while Teni was murmuring something about hitting and coconuts.
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Broken0 studios
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Bre was impatiently pacing around while Marae was holding her sides while watching Lee getting hit with every shooping cart through the TV.
“That f(bleeeeep)! If I get her she’s going to get hurt!”
“Arent you- hehe- over- ha!- doing- he- it?” she giggled as she saw Teni accidently hit Lee against a Teletubi gift shop.
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In the mall
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“ITAI! ITAI! MY SPANDEX OF YOUTH!” Lee cried as he hit almost every stall, cart and wall in the mall while being dragged by Teni.
“No! where almost there!” Teni continued dragging Lee by the (coughasscough) spandex. She made a sudden stop and Lee hit a flower stall.
He spited out some petals and tried to stand, but, Teni dragged him and sussesfully gave him a mega ultra wedgy. “itai…”
“We are here!”
“here we-“ his mouth droped, “OMG! THIS IS YOUTH FREE! FORGIVE ME GAI-SENSEI!”
First Store: Sears
Teni now dragged Lee by the legs because he was clawing the floor trying to escape, “hold still!”
“NO!”
”YES!”
”NO!”
”NO!”
”YES!”
“HA! Got you!”
Lee punched the floor, “dang it…”
Teni turned back for a second to stick her toungh out and turned around quickly.
She stoped in front of a shirt rack, “YAY! These are only on 1,000,000,000 RYU!”
“only… a 1,000,000,000 ryu…?” Lee fainted.
She looked down, “what? Its my fic, I can pay for it…”
Out of the sudden Lee rose up looking peppy, wait, who the hell is writing this sht?
Me.
Bre, get the f-ck of my computer…
Make me!
Ok, Marae could you pause the story for a second?
Yes…?
PAUSE
Suddenly in front of the frozen image Bre and Teni walked up cowboy style.
… Marae in Teni’s room pushed the play botton on her Ipod and music started to play… disco music!
What the hell?
Burn baby burn! Disco inferno!
Teni looked at Bre who was dancing.
Suddenly…
“YOSH! It is the music of youth!
EEEKKK! ITS LEE!
Out of a poof of smoke came Gai in one of those weird and un-sexy poses he has.
HE ISH SO SMEXY!
“GAI-SENSEI!”
Everyone turned around to see Lee with chibi tears, they both ran at each other and hugged with that weird ocean background of theirs.
“LEE!”
“GAI-SENSEI!”
“LEE!”
“GAI-SENSEI!”
“LEE!”
“GAI-SENSEI!”
Teni, Bre and Marae disappeared.
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Broken0 studios
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That was fun!
NOT!
So… what did we accomplish today…?
…
…
That’s it! I choose next time…
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Teni: BWAHAHA! Fear my evil tipe board of DOOOOM! Who shall be the vic- err… luck guest next time? will Bre and Teni stop fighting? why are Lee and Gai so gay? And why am I asking so many questions? On things for sure…
Bre: I LOVE YOU GAI!
Marae: …sigh… I get to shoose next so… next time on What not to wear! I get to choose our next lucky victim- guest! Yes I mean guest! And-
Bre: SIS! Gai and Lee wont stop hugging!
Teni: …TBC…