Requiem of Despair: Chapter 1
Of Longing and Lost Love
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Kakashi’s POV
I failed them…
His eyes widened in realization. Rain soaked through his clothing, numbing his flesh while adding a delicate sheen to the stone monument in front of him.
They’re all gone, because of me…
These cursed words crushed his soul under a torrential downpour of despair.
If only I had done things differently… told them I cherished ever second of their company…
“One notices these minute details when one’s left absolutely alone in the world,” he whispered to the stone in front of him with chagrin.
Two dead… one chasing after the same fate… and two completely out of my control…
His finger unconsciously traced Obito’s name on the stone. His childhood team had been effectively destroyed with the untimely death of his teammates Rin and Obito, followed by the Yondaime’s ultimate sacrifice.
Followed by another mistake… Sasuke…
He cringed. Perhaps he had failed Sasuke most of all. Not only had he empowered him with rigorous sharingan training, but he had been unable to prevent his inevitable escape from Konoha. Give a criminal a blade and you’ll end up bleeding…
While training Sasuke, he had unintentionally abandoned his other responsibilities... resulting in others taking up his slack once again. With Naruto and Sakura training under Jiraiya and Tsunade, respectively, he was rendered absolutely useless.
”They have the ability to train them far better than I could have ever hoped to,” he chastised himself.
Damn this miserable existence!
He raked his trembling hand through his drenched silvery tresses.
“And here I am, hiding from the world behind this miserable mask!” he cried while ripping the thin piece of cobalt material from his face, revealing still youthful, striking features, unknown to the eyes of mortals.
When the pendulum finally swings the other way… I’ll surely be burning in hell.
He closed his exposed eye to the tempest raging above him, praying for his end to be swift.
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Sakura’s POV
Love isn’t a feeling… nor an emotion. Otherwise, wouldn’t one have the ability to fall out of love just as easily as falling in? No, it was never that simple for Haruno Sakura.
She had thought long and hard on the enigma of love and eventually came to a single conclusion: love is to choose the greatest good for the other person, even at the risk of destroying yourself.
This proved true as she let the embodiment of her affection slip through her aching fingers. Her love for Uchiha Sasuke was absolute, consuming her every hope and desire.
And I had once dreamed to marry him some day.
Dreams that now consumed her as nightmares.
Oh sure, they would start out as a beautiful dream of Sasuke’s return; flinging herself into his welcoming arms. Always the same dream… his knowing fingers lightly tracing her soft features, drawing her closer ever so slowly until their lips were mere millimeters apart. She would then open her sea foam green eyes, and his image would slowly dissolve into the air around her.
Instantly, the beautiful surroundings would dim, leaving her soul consumed by darkness. The wind would turn bitter and damp… nipping at her exposed flesh and whispering hurtful words into her already tortured mind.
But she had to let him go. Keeping him tightly wrapped in her desperate arms would have only confirmed her selfish desires.
I loved him…so I set him free.
“Loved? Well I suppose somewhere along the way I have stopped loving him…” she mused.
How can you love someone when you’re completely devoid of all emotions?
“Sakura!” Tsunade barked while sticking her head into the room where Sakura was reminiscing, “You now have three patients waiting for you! Get to work!”
But Tsunade, although terrifying at times, did not have the ability to disrupt Sakura’s distracted mind that easily.
When was the last time I laughed or cried? She wondered inwardly as she focused chakra into her trained fingertips and gently healed her patient’s chest wound. My tears for Sasuke have long since dried up.
“Something wrong kunoichi?” inquired her patient. “You seem a little… distant. Need somebody to talk to?
“No… I’m really quite fine actually! Just a little tired…” she replied sweetly with a forced smile.
Hours later after completing her excruciatingly long day’s work, she finally decided to confront Tsunade with her internal crisis.
She approached her sensei’s door and stood examining its details for all of ten minutes.
Hmmm… I wonder if she’s finally acquired the courage approach me? However, I am growing quite tired of waiting…
“Sakura… come in and tell me what’s on your mind,” Tsunade commanded.
Slightly startled, Sakura hesitantly obeyed and slid into the quaint office.
“Tsunade-sama,” she began, “I need… some time. Time to get my head together.”
“…”
“…”
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A/N: Hmm… I would like to accredit this little chunk of sunshine to my pounding migraine and horrific mood. Well actually, I feel a lot better now! I’ve wanted to write something about my beloved Kakashi for a while now, and I apologize if he or Sakura (or both!) were slightly OOC. I know… cliffhangers are evil, but sleepiness is causing me to cut it off here. So you’ll just have to SUFFER! -maniacal laughter- No leaving without first reviewing! -waves index finger menacingly- .
By the way, “Love is to choose the greatest good for the other person,” is a quote directly from Brad Henning, a brilliant motivational speaker.
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Table of Contents
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Chapter notes: Title: Requiem of Despair
Summary: Dabbles in Hatake Kakashi’s tormented mind… followed by Haruno Sakura’s extreme instability. Perhaps they can find comfort in each other’s flaws? In this story Sakura is currently 18 years old. Yes, I do realize that this makes Kakashi 32, but I’m choosing to ignore this teensy detail. Well, not completely ignore it… but just place it in the back of my mind. ^^
Disclaimer: Yes, yes… I don’t own Naruto. Nor will I ever. -tear-
So… after much deliberation, I’ve decided to make this a Sakura/Kakashi story.
-dodges flying stones and broken glass-
Yes… I know. You all wanted a Sasuke/Kakashi or Naruto/Kakashi pairing… but I’m just not in the mood for writing another yaoi, (at least not right now). However, this will not be another mushy fluffy love story… where Kakashi and Sakura somehow fall madly in love with each other, getmarriedandhaveamillionkids. Gah.