It started with an accident. An accident in a Tea House. An accident that he would rather not repeat of. We all know how the story goes, I believe? The beautiful girl falls in love with a handsome man and they live happily ever after.

All right, now that you've heard that story, let's get back to real life.

It started in a Tea House. Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki planned to stick to the mission. The mission, you ask? To kidnap Naruto Uzumaki and bring him back to the Akatsuki compound. Then, the nine-tailed fox demon would be in their possession.

They didn't need to cover their faces at all, because the Tea House was fairly simple and allowed no shinobi inside, unless they were looking for a change of life. And this Tea House held younger villagers who had never heard of the Akatsuki. Very nice for a bunch of S-class criminals, right? It's almost like it was made for them.

"Here is your menu, sir!" a girl said, handing Itachi a menu. She just put Kisame's down on the table for him to pick up. Kisame considered giving her a grin that showed why she should be afraid, but decided against it as she walked away.

The place was over-crowded for a teens place, but then again Konoha was pretty well known. So far, Itachi was getting all the girls and Kisame was getting stares of shock. Their real waiter came up and smiled.

"Hello! I'm TenTen and I'll be serving your every need." TenTen stated. Kisame couldn't help but chuckle. She looked at him and Itachi waited for the scream.

It never came.

Instead, there was an even bigger smile plastered on her face. And this was a genuine smile. “What would you like?” she said, holding a pen and paper.

Itachi’s eyes scanned the menu. “I’ll have green tea.” He said and watched as she wrote his order down on the paper, her smile never fading. Kisame scanned the menu once more and his mouth fell open.

“Apple Blossom?” he said, slamming the menu onto the table. TenTen frowned. “Is there something wrong, sir?”

Kisame took a moment and then gave her a grin. “Nothing, just that it’s not popular in many places and it’s hard to find. I’ll have it!” he said. TenTen smiled again.

“I like it too!” she said. Itachi stared as she walked off. “She’s so nice it’s disgusting.” Itachi said. Kisame glared at him.

TenTen came back carrying two cups. She set them down in front of them and smiled. “Is that all?” she asked. Kisame nodded. She slipped a letter onto his seat and hurried off to another table.

Itachi smirked as Kisame held the letter, his eyes moving back and forth. “I can’t believe this.”

It was horrible. It was disgusting. It was murder. TenTen stood there, her mouth wide open, staring at the two people on her bed.

One was her boyfriend, Neji Hyuuga. The second, you ask? His own cousin, Hinata Hyuuga. TenTen saw how their hips lined up perfectly, and how Hinata would moan loudly whenever Neji thrust faster.

TenTen immediately dropped her things. The glass things shattered on the floor. Neji turned his head and Hinata looked up with innocent eyes. “Shit..” Neji muttered. He looked at TenTen, who had tears in her eyes. (A/N: Yelling starts right about.. now!)

TenTen glared at him. “Don’t. Come. Near. Me. Ever. Again.”

Neji made to follow her, but Hinata grabbed his arm. He glared at her and shook her hand off.

“TENTEN! WAIT!” he shouted. Luckily for TenTen, she was faster than him and got to her parents house quickly. She slammed the door and became an emotional wreck on the floor. Her hair stuck to her face because of her tears, and every now and then she would bang her head against the wall.

“I think that’s bad for your health, TenTen.” A voice said. TenTen shook. “Neji, get out of this house or I’ll kick your ass.”

He chuckled. ‘That doesn’t sound like Neji..’ TenTen thought. She turned around. “KISAME!” she shouted. She jumped onto Kisame, her arms wrapping around him. “I missed you!” she said, resting her head on his chest.

Kisame sat on the bed, which was NOT covered in dust like the rest of the house, and grinned. “I read your note.” He said. TenTen blushed. “You did?” she asked. Kisame nodded. “So, why did you run home crying?”

“I cannot tell you. I think I’m going to eat a tub of ice-cream and watch cheesy romance films.” TenTen said, looking up at Kisame. He sighed. “That’s not good for your health, you know.” He said.

“Whats with you and health?” TenTen said. Kisame chuckled. “Nothing.”

(A/N: Now, as you know this is the time for them to kiss. But you’ll figure out what happens)

TenTen looked around the room. “Why is this place so dirty?” Kisame asked. “Well, when my parents died I went to live with Neji.” TenTen replied, holding a pillow next to her face. Kisame looked at the door. He quickly grabbed his sword. “Look, there’s someone outside of your door. I’ve gotta leave.” Kisame said. TenTen stood up when he did.
“I’ll miss you.” She said, and she kissed him on the cheek. He nodded to her and went out the way he came.

“WHO IS IT?” TenTen shouted, wiping her eyes. “Look, TenTen, let me in. This is embarrassing.”

“That’s embarrassing? Whats embarrassing is coming home to find your boyfriend having sex with his cousin!” TenTen shouted, opening the door. “And I’m not taking any of your lying crap! It’s stupid, and your stupid, and I’m SICK OF YOU!”

Neji grabbed her. “TenTen! I wont lie to you since you’ll probably kick my ass if I do. I did have sex with Hinata.”

“YEAH! SHE’S YOUR COUSIN!”

“Yeah, it was disgusting. But it’s not my fault you’re not willing to have sex with me! Men need to have sex every once in a while!”

“Well I’m sorry that I’m not willing to give up my virginity yet!”

Neji stared at TenTen. “Look, TenTen. I love you. I did it because I needed it!”

TenTen glared at him. “Neji, I’m done with you. Get out of my house. I’ll stop by later to get my things.”

Neji grabbed TenTen and pushed her against the wall. “I don’t think your going to leave me.”

TenTen struggled against Neji’s hold. “Let go of me!” she shouted, kicking him. He glared at her. “Shut up, stupid!” he shouted, knocking her out. He dragged her into the bathroom and set her against the wall as he wiped some blood from his face.

“KISAME-MAN IS HERE!!” came a shout, and Neji backed up. Kisame. From the Akatsuki. Unfortunately, Neji couldn’t leave his precious TenTen with Kisame (or so he thought) and slung her over is shoulder.

“I do believe you have a cousin waiting for you.” Kisame said, standing in front of Neji. Neji backed up. He glared at Kisame. Kisame chuckled and grabbed TenTen. “I’ll thank you for keeping my princess clean.”

With that, he jumped out the window. Neji watched as he exited the gates, where two dark figures slouched over in their seats. “Damn! I’ve got to save TenTen!”

-

Kisame put TenTen on the ground and checked her for any wounds. There was a bit of blood, but other than that she was in a good condition. His sword was next to him in case the ANBU came chasing after him.

“Yo, wake up.” Kisame said, shaking TenTen gently. TenTen growled at him. Yes, she growled. Very odd for a girl. “Get up!” Kisame said, shaking her once more. She sent a kick at his face. He blocked it with his hand.

“You never told me you were a shinobi.” Kisame said. TenTen sighed at looked up at the sky, her hands behind her head. “Well, I had to lie. They wouldn’t let me get a job.”

Kisame stared. “Doesn’t being a shinobi pay enough?”

“Not when you had a boyfriend who spends your money on sake. But now that he’s gone I think I’ll be able to quit my job.”

Kisame merely shrugged in response. He grabbed his sword. “I think I’ll see you off.” He said. TenTen stared in shock. “Were am I supposed to go?”

“I’ll take you to Iwagakure. In other words, the Stone Village.”

-

After many hours, they came upon the gates. “State your purpose!” the man watching them shouted. “I’m visiting here with my sister!” Kisame shouted. His genjutsu was working perfectly. He had disguised himself as a girl with long brown hair and wearing a green dress that went to his/her knees. He/She wore fishnet on his/her arms and legs.

TenTen smirked. “Alright, enter the village. Very few hotels are open.” The man said.
TenTen bounced on her bed, eventually stopping because her head hit the ceiling. She opened the door to her room at a beautiful hotel (which cost almost all of her savings) and knocked on the door that would allow her to see Kisame. The hotel was gold and red inside, and a large population of people stayed there.

“Room service!” TenTen called. Kisame opened the door a bit and allowed her in. “God, you’re going to have to order large amounts of food and give them to me. I can’t use than genjutsu anymore. It’s eating away at my chakra.”

TenTen nodded. “That’s fine with me. You have to pay for the food, though. I paid for the rooms.” Kisame nodded in response.

“TenTen, open this fucking door now.”

TenTen got unusually quiet. Kisame hid under the bed, the top of his sword sticking out just a bit. “Open the door, idiot!” Neji shouted. He didn’t wait, though, and kicked the door open.

“EEK! You better pay for that, Neji!” TenTen screamed. Neji rolled his eyes (A/N: Neji is such a dumbass! He doesn’t even notice Kisame’s sword. Hehe!) and grabbed her arm. “C’mon, I’m going to take you back to our village.”

“Yeah, I would like to see you try.”

“I will!” Neji said, picking TenTen up and walking towards the door. “I’LL HAVE YOU CHARGED FOR CHILD ABUSE, MAN!”

“This isn’t child abuse, TenTen. Your twenty-five. Plus, I’m not abusing you.” He had an annoyed tone in his voice, and TenTen said pounding her fists against his back. “Let me go!”

“Dude, like, don’t mess with my babe.” Kisame said, appearing in front of Neji and striking a pose.

“That is the most idiotic thing ever. What are you pretending to be? A freaking kid or something?” Neji asked, pushing Kisame aside.

“Hey! I went to the trouble of burning my shirt for this!” Kisame said, glaring at him. Neji rolled his eyes. “I’ve got something to take care of, so just shut the fuck up and get out of my way.”

“That’s not fair…. How about I take that package?” Kisame asked, kicking Neji’s sensitive spot and taking TenTen. “You got any tea for me?” He asked as he jumped out the window. “I wish. Can you set me down? I can run by myself.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Kisame said, dropping her. “EEP!” TenTen shrieked as she hit the ground. She bounce back up and ran after him. “Can I buy some new clothes?”

“*Sigh* Women. All they care about is clothes.” Kisame said. “Whatever.”

As they lost sight of Neji, they stopped in the center of the village. Apparently there was a festival, even though this place was the Village of the Stone and the environment made it very…. Well, very something.

“Go find some clothes.” Kisame growled, hiding behind a bush. “While you’re at it, bring me some white face paint and a wig. Some clothes to.” TenTen nodded.

“Hi sir! Um, I’m just going to check out your merchandise, ‘kay??” TenTen said nervously, glancing over her shoulder. The man rolled his eyes. “Well, I suppose that’s why you have money in your hand.”
“Ah, yes!!!” TenTen said, grabbing some clothes. ‘I wont be able to get Kisame a wig, but who the hell cares?’ she thought.

She handed the vender his money and walked over to the bush. She looked around before crouching behind it. “Here….” She muttered, handing him the items. She walked over to a few trees and dressed behind them. Kisame rolled his eyes and slipped his clothes on and grabbed the face paint.

“Well, what do we have here?”

Okay... I'm putting this story to the side to work on other stories. And this story wont be able to have lemon in it, sadly... Because my mom asked my sister to make sure I'm not writing anything bad ....

So yeah.... that makes me bored and alone >.<

Don't worry, I will be able to write lemon at some point. Yes, I haven't updated anything in a while... but I have a reason for that... I haven't been feeling well in the mornings, and I just don't feel like it. It makes me feel bad, but I cant push myself this hard...

Well, thats pretty much all...

The Cheat

After Kisame killed the man, who happened to be Neji, he angrily grabbed TenTen’s arm. “Act like a good little hostage and I’ll take you back to the leaf village.”

“… Why? I thought you were madly in love with me.” TenTen smirked.

“Yeah, whatever. You’re starting to get on my nerves. You act like I’m married to you or something.” Kisame growled. TenTen rolled her eyes. “If I’m a hostage, how come I’m not tied up or anything?” she said, smirking. Kisame rolled his eyes. “I don’t even have rope, so shut up. If anyone sees us, act like your dying.”

“I have rope in my shirt.”

“You wish.”

TenTen bit his arm and snatched her arm back. She grabbed rope from her pocket. “HA! Told you.”

“The rope came out of your pocket. God dammit, your teeth are sharp.” Kisame growled, grabbing the rope from her. He threw it back at TenTen. She caught it and smiled. “Sooooo… what are we gonna do on the way to my village?”

“You’re going to shut up and I’m going to wish I was somewhere else.” Kisame said, slinging TenTen over his shoulder. “You know, I would feel more comfortable if my face was by yours. I’m not wearing panties.”

“Oh, I’m fine with the view.” Kisame chuckled. “Pervert…”

“My stomach hurts.”

“If you feel like vomiting, move your head away from my back.”

“You wish I would. We almost there?” TenTen said, kicking Kisame’s head. “This is why I hate kids.” Kisame mumbled. “Hey, I’m not a kid! I’m old enough to have children!”

“Do I care? If you were, then your boyfriend wouldn’t have… done it with his cousin.”

“Who would want to have se-”

“Don’t say that word.” Kisame tossed her onto the ground. TenTen rubbed her head. “Why?” she asked, standing up. Kisame sighed. “Look, the gate is right there. Enter your village and pretend you never met me, okay? Go find a man to mate with or whatever.”

TenTen rolled her eyes. “But I don’t want too!”

“Stop acting like a child. You have a Hokage to work for like a mindless idiot. Now go and be a ninja… not a waitress at a tea house.” Kisame said, walking away.

“Wait! I want to go with you!” TenTen said, grabbing his arm. Kisame turned. “No. I’m an S-class criminal. You’re a boy obsessed girl.”

“I’m not a kid anymore!” TenTen shouted, glaring at Kisame. Kisame glared back.

“Please?”

“… Fine. But you’ll have to do whatever I say.” Kisame smirked.

“I don’t think I’m gonna like this…” TenTen muttered.

Okay... for all of you 'waiting' for the sequel (I know most of the people taking the time to read this right now are disappointed that I'm making a sequel) I have one thing to tell you.

It should be posted on TONFA by Sunday. Probably sooner. I've been working hard on this one, though it has been seperated into different chapters. I promise, there WILL be smut in this one.

Yeah, so I just thought I say that for all of you who don't care. I will probably take a break from TONFA after finishing my posted fics. I'm not leaving like most of the great authors, and I probably won't put up a date for my comeback.

So, thats all I have to say.