Why did he do this? Why did he kill them all? How did he kill them all? How did he dare to? I asked him, pain in my voice and tears in my eyes. He answered…and it frightened me even more. I tried to overcome my fear, but it only increased.


Crowded streets are cleared away
One by one
Hollow heroes separate
As they run


I was begging now…with my eyes, if not my actions or words. I had never begged in my life until now. His eyes…There was something wrong with his eyes…And I fell into an internal hell. Or was it external, as well?


You're so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while
Strong men die


It didn’t matter, I don’t think. All I was aware of was pain- immense psychological pain. I didn’t notice my own screams, or my own sanity slowly slipping away. I didn’t notice him, standing behind me one moment, and standing in front the other, watching me.


Show me how it ends
It's alright
Show me how defenseless
You really are
satisfied and empty inside
That's alright,
Let's give this another try


They were all dead. All of them. And he killed them emotionlessly. He simply shed their blood along the walls and streets, not even seeming to care. I couldn’t understand why he did this. In a way, truthfully, I believe that I refused to understand why. I was afraid of the answer.


If you find your family, don't you cry
in this land of make-believe, dead and dry


He looked at me with those eyes. I seemed to have no control over my actions…I wanted to scream, but no sound came from my dry mouth. I wanted to run, but I had no energy in my trembling legs. And, more than anything, I wanted the pain to stop, and I wanted to awaken from this nightmare.


You're so cold, but you
Feel alive
Lay your hand on me
One last time


I was so tired that my trembling stopped. So scared that I was numb to the pain. So sorrowful that I was angry. But I still could do nothing…He stepped closer to me. Fear lent me strength, and I ran for my life…screaming and crying.


Show me how it ends
It's alright
Show me how defenseless
You really are
satisfied and empty inside
that's alright,
Let's give this another try


I ran on. I knew I wouldn’t be safe until I ran from the dead. I thought I would be safe when I awoke, to find that this had all just been a hellish dream. But I never awoke. He followed me, stopping my frenzied attempt at an escape.


Show me how it ends
It's alright
Show me how defenseless
You really are
Satisfied and empty inside
That's alright,
Let’s give this another try


He spoke with me. I didn’t want to hear his voice. I tried to ignore him, but his words brought me in. He told me the secret of his eyes…And I was scared. How had he killed his own best friend? But, more so…how did he kill the entire clan?


It's alright


By the next day, I had lost my innocence…my family…and my trust. I swore that I would kill him. It was my own decision. I didn’t tell anyone else. I couldn’t have, even if I wanted to. There was no one left for me to tell.


It’s alright

It’s alright


I promised myself that I would make it through this alive. I promised myself that I would avenge everyone. I promised myself that, in killing him, I would be put at peace, and I would recover what I lost that day…Even if it cost me my sanity.

I was obsessed. I hadn’t meant to, really…my desire just seemed to suck me in. I had no time for others. I had no time to contemplate my thoughts. I only had time for training; only had time for getting closer to killing him.


Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding


I’ve always referred to my brother as ‘him’ ever since that day. To me, that man was no longer my brother, but someone I had to kill, no matter what the consequences. And, if the consequences were that of me isolating myself, mentally, from others…well, then, that’s what would happen.


This is my last resort


I hated how I acted, though I couldn’t help it. If I acted like I wanted to, I would become distracted from the path I had decided on treading. If I made friends, I would worry more about them than myself, therefore making it possible for me to sacrifice myself for them. If that happened, no one would be left to kill him.


Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?


Despite my cold, arrogant, and uncaring personality that I put up, there were many people that vied for my attention every day. I hated it. Not because I hated them, but because I wanted to be friends with them. I wanted to be friends with almost anyone.


Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?


I always pushed the offer of friendship away, no matter whom it was that gave it. I forced myself to think of everyone as idiots. Idiots and fools that would never understand how I felt…Even though I didn’t even try to explain.


If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide


I wanted to tell someone, I really did. But I believed that they wouldn’t understand. I believed that they would want me to give up on avenging my clan. Because of my distrust, I locked all my thoughts and emotions into myself.


Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


I think I had already lost my sanity. It was painful to have to keep everything within myself, not trusting anyone enough to be able to relieve myself of all my burdens. It was painful to wake up at night from a nightmare, and have no one to tell me that it would be fine. All because I didn’t- all because I couldn’t- trust.


Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


The days at the Academy were almost impossible to go through, where it was even harder to not make friends. Especially with nearly all the girls trying to get my attention. I wanted to be friendly, and I wanted to be happy. Deep inside my iced heart was a melted spot- but it was small…small enough for me to hide each day.


I never realized I was spread too thin
To live was too late
And I was empty within- hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin?


As life went on, I felt myself falling into the rhythm of the mask that I put up. Soon, that personality- the cold, arrogant, and uncaring one- became my own true personality. That small melted spot in my heart froze over.


It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils


Either despite this, or because of this, many of the girls became even more attracted to me. They were like flies, or mosquitoes, to me. If they knew the reason behind the personality, if they knew the path I walked, then they would scatter and leave me.


Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


I wish that I could have told them, then, so they would stop their foolish antics. But I didn’t trust any of them at all…definitely not enough to tell them of my past. So I merely put up with them, and ignored them.


Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


Of course, the senseis noticed my change of behaviour, noticed how I seemed to be getting better at ignoring the others. This troubled them, as they hoped I would give up on trying to kill him.


Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine


But then again, they were all fools. How could they dare think that I would change my path just for their happiness? Just for the others around me? They didn’t understand that my path was unchangeable. They never would.


I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying


The only times that my heart shattered were at night. When I managed to fall asleep, my dreams were plagued with memories of that night, the night that I lost everything. I would wake up with a tearstained face and sweat covering me. Usually this was after only a few hours, at most.


I can't go on living this way


So, I would be sleep-deprived. But my mask, the mask that only came off during my sleep, helped cover my weariness. The fact that I tended to train myself to exhaustion anyways helped, as well.


Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding


Maybe people were getting suspicious. Maybe people didn’t notice. Maybe people didn’t even care. Whatever it was, no one tried to stop me. No one tried to warn me. All they did was watch. And for that, I was glad.


Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide


There were times that my mask nearly broke, and there were times that I nearly took off the mask myself, out of sheer desperation. Inside, I wanted- no, I needed- to have friendship. More than anything.


Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


But I always managed to hold the mask. Sometimes, I wondered what would happen if I took it off. I wondered what would really happen if I told someone of my past. But I didn’t trust myself enough to tell anyone. And I didn’t trust anyone else enough, either.


Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


So the mask stayed on. It only came off when I needed it on the most, though…at night. With each nightmare came another addition to my daytime mask. With each nightmare, I became even colder, and more isolated.


Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying


But with each nightmare, I lost more of myself. I lost more of my hope, and my heart became as cold as ice and as hard as stone. My path became far clearer, and pushed off any others that may have strayed onto it. All that was left was me…and him.


I can't go on living this way
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's all- right


Now I didn’t even have to try to push others from my mind. I didn’t even have to try to be cold. But the strain that it put on my heart was unbearable, even though I only felt it at night. I often wondered to myself at how long the mask would hold.

After I was placed in Team Seven with Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, my mask sometimes cracked. The strain in keeping it together showed occasionally, and I could tell that my sensei was bothered about me. As accustomed, I ignored what I believed- no, what I knew- to be his false worry.


Can you feel it crush you?
Does it seem to bring the worst in you out?
There's no running a-way
From these things that hold you down


Then there was Naruto and Sakura. They were even more adept at breaking through my mask, although I made sure that they never really noticed anything different about me. As in the Academy, my heart was heavy.


Do they complicate you?
Because they make you feel like this
Of all the colours that you've shine
This is surely not your best


I wanted to view them as friends. My mind needed companionship to remain stable. But my mask had become me, and I refused friendship. Instead, I took up rivalry- still close enough to being friends for my mind to be content, but not friends enough to take me from my path.


But you should know these colours that you're shining off


In doing so, the problem that was Naruto was solved…but that still left Sakura. She was even more insistent than Naruto, and even more irritating for my mask. I knew rivalry wouldn’t work on her, so I used the best technique I had learned from my cold personality- ignoring.


Shine out the best
Colors that you shine
Shine out the best
Colors that you shine


But even as I did so, my heart ached. Years of acting with a mask were slowly killing me. I often wondered on those many sleepless nights if it really mattered. If I took off that mask, I would still be able to walk the path I needed…Wouldn’t I?


I know you feel alone yeah
And no one else can figure you out
But don't you ever turn away from
The ones that help you down


But even if I wanted to, I don’t think that I could have taken off the mask completely. Because of this, I felt both weak and strong, both angry and calm. I didn’t want my life to be a lie…Or at least, I didn’t want my life to be more of a lie than it already was.


Well they'd love to save you
Don’t you know they love to see you smile?
But these colours that you've shined
Are surely not your style


Despite how powerful my mask was, I could feel it beginning to fade. I didn’t know what to think of this. Should I be worried, and fix the mask? Or should I be happy, and take advantage of the mask’s weakness to show my real personality?


But you should know these colours that you’re shining off


I fought with myself. Finally remove the mask, be at peace, and make friends? Or enhance the mask’s strength, continue to have inner conflicts, and forever feel lonely? Normally, I would have gone with the first choice…but I was afraid of what would happen if I did.


Shine out the best
Colours that you shine
Shine out the best
Colours that you shine


Would I become so distracted by my happiness that I would forget the path that I swore I would follow? Would I allow myself to be convinced that that man didn’t need to be killed? There was also the possibility that I would be fine, but I couldn’t take the chance, however small.


I know you’re feeling like you’re lost
But you know these colours that you’re shining off


With the perseverance of my ‘friends’, my mask was weakened whenever I spent time with them. I realized that they were both a strength and a weakness. A strength, because they could put my mind at ease…or at least, calm it. But they were also a weakness, because with friendship comes the need to protect.


I know you're feeling like you're lost
You think you’ve drifted way too far
But you should know these colors you're shining off


My fears of needing to protect someone else faded, though far slower than my mask- and that was already slow enough. I was still uncertain about myself, and about the people I called friends.


Shine out the best
Colours that you shine
Shine out the best
Colours that you shine


In a way, I was willing to throw my life away if I needed to protect Naruto or Sakura. After all, my life wasn’t a true one, was it? A life hidden by a mask woven of lies, fear, distrust, sadness, and hate…that wasn’t what a real life was.


Shine out the best
I know you’re feeling like you’re lost


My life wasn’t real. It was like a movie, one so old that you’ve already seen it thousands of times. You may enjoy it at times, but be bored with it at others. I felt I was a mere watcher in a huge audience, helpless at what the actors chose what to do or what not to do.


Colours that you shine
But you should know these colours that you’re shining off


I’m sure that some other members of the audience were surprised that whoever was following the script written for Uchiha Sasuke hadn’t killed himself yet. It was there that I had the advantage over the other audience members. I knew why I hadn’t given up on life yet.


Shine out the best
I know you’re feeling like your lost,
You think you’ve drifted way too far,
But you should know these colours that you’re shining off


There were two reasons at why I was still living. One was my own fear…if I wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to commit suicide, since I was too afraid. And the other, more powerful reason was him, waiting at the end of my path. And I knew that someday I would find him on that path, and clear him off it.

As I ran, my past flashed through my mind, making me remember. I tried to shake the memories from my mind, but they remained there, so strong as if they had just occurred. My pace increased, as I knew that I had to get there soon.


Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real


Would I reach what I have planned for my path today? If I did, where would I go from there? There wasn’t really much for me to do…maybe I could finally take off the mask without worry. Maybe I could let my heart thaw.


There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming…confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling…I can't seem


When I finally got there, I felt my heart pulse faster than I ever remembered it. The only thing that was greater than my fear was my rage. I hardly- if at all- noticed Naruto and Kisame. If Kisame attacked me, I’m not sure if I would even realize it.


To find myself again
My walls are closing in


What happened after I arrived seemed to be out of my control. I was too blinded by anger that I couldn’t think straight. And even if I could, I doubt that the result would have been any different than it was.


Without a sense of confidence and
I'm convinced that there's just too much
Pressure to take


I was already weak by the time he took me by the throat and pressed me against the wall. What had the point of my life been? I thought that I’d been training to get up to this point, but it seemed as if I had spent my entire life doing nothing.


I've felt this way before
So insecure


Why was I weak? It was a question I wanted to know the answer to, although it was him who asked it. Hadn’t I put myself through all that torture of refusing friendship in order to get stronger? Had it all been pointless?


Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real


Because I lack hatred. His answer didn’t make sense. How could I lack hatred against him? How could it be possible to hate him more than I already do? I doubted that it was even achievable.


Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting…reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting…how I can't seem


But…maybe he didn’t mean hatred against him. Maybe he meant hatred in general. If that was what he meant…then he was correct. I didn’t have hatred for others, only him. I knew that I wanted friendship. But if I wanted friendship, then I was lacking hatred.


To find myself again
My walls are closing in


It was then, when I realized what he meant, that I saw his eyes change again. They changed from the normal Sharingan to the eyes that he had that night…the Mangekyou Sharingan eyes.


Without a sense of confidence and
I'm convinced that there's just too much
Pressure to take


I felt lost. Everything was black and white, the two colours that were so opposite yet so alike. The two colours that represented him and me. I contemplated this as I began to fall repeatedly. It was strange. I seemed so scared, but inside I was calmer than I had been for a long time.


I've felt this way before
So insecure


I remained in that state for a while. I probably would have, unless another colour hadn’t come in. Red. The area around me changed from a black nothingness to the past, on that day. I was young again, and terrified.


Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real


I felt the same amount of fear, terror, and anguish that I did on the day that the massacre actually occurred. But this time, I also felt anger. Even so, I had less control over my actions. Only enough control to look around through wide, frightened eyes.


Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing
Confusing what is real


The dead fell around me, stumbling back from unsuccessful attacks upon him. People that, just earlier that day, were smiling and laughing, living and breathing. People that, just earlier that day, had been complimenting him. But now, he was killing them.


There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming…
Confusing what is real


It went on for what seemed to be days. He didn’t care who it was that tried to stop him. If anyone did, he would simply stop their lives. It seemed confusing, but in truth there was only one thing that didn’t make sense. And that was the answer to the question ‘Why?’


This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling…
Confusing what is real


There was no answer, not yet. Even as what I had recovered of my sanity broke, I swore that before I killed him, I would find the answer to why. His words echoed in my mind. ‘You lack hatred’…I wanted to defy him, but I couldn’t. I was still screaming in fear at the lifelike memories of that day that he had brought to the surface.

My steps were slow and heavy as I walked. Each pull further from Konoha was painful for me. Part of my mind couldn’t believe, couldn’t understand, what I was doing, or why I was doing it. The other part of my mind blocked it out.


I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real


I had to do this. He had been correct. I was weak because I lacked hatred. I lacked hatred because I was surrounded by people who, in my time with them, had made me nearly be convinced that they were my friends; people close enough to me to understand me.


I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said


Of course, they never had understood me, and they never would. That was why I was leaving. I hadn’t grown stronger at all in their company- they were just holding me back, afraid of letting me grow stronger.


If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show


My mind was distracted when I was around them. I couldn’t fully dedicate myself to training, couldn’t fully dedicate myself to moving forward on my path. If anything, I had been moving slowly backward in my time in Konoha.


That I’m trying to let you know


With Orochimaru, I would have no connections with anyone, and thus, I would be able to train freely. I wouldn’t have any missions to take my time; I wouldn’t have Naruto continuously bragging, Sakura asking me out, or Kakashi looking at me as if I were kin.


That I’m better off on my own


Once I was gone from Konoha, there would be nothing but training for me- training, and advancing down my path. I’m sure that those in Konoha wouldn’t like what I was doing, which was exactly why I was leaving during the night.


This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad


I was glad that I had managed to walk this far without starting to turn back, although I did pause quite a bit. Was I sure that I needed to go through this? Was I sure that I wanted to leave all of Konoha behind?


Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have


As I walked further, I stopped less often. I had chosen this path. I had decided, years ago, that I would do anything to accomplish my goal. I had sworn that I would risk everything, from my remaining sanity to friendship, to kill him.


If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show


I knew that what I was doing would cause me to become a missing-nin. I knew that what I was doing would cause people, most likely ANBU-level hunter-nin, to try and track me down. I was reluctant to accept what I would have to do if they caught me.


That I’m trying to let you know


I would have to kill any hunter-nin, wouldn’t I? Otherwise, they would either kill me or return me to Konoha. If that happened, I would have no chance of leaving the village again, therefore canceling my chance of severing my ties with all those that had claimed themselves as ‘friends’.


That I’m better off on my own


If I were taken back to Konoha by hunter-nin, I would probably be put under strict guard. I would have trouble training, and trouble concentrating. My mask would most likely weaken again, making me able to ‘trust’.


On my own


And that, of course, was the best scenario possible. The worst would be that I would be killed on spot, as soon as the hunter-nin found me. That, more than anything, would prove my life pointless.


I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong


As he once told me…it is the fate of the weak o die, and that I was weak because I lacked hatred. If severing my ties with Konoha showed hatred, then I no longer lacked hatred. If I no longer lacked hatred, then I was no longer weak. If I was no longer weak, then it was not my fate to die.


It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along


Not yet, at least. I couldn’t care less what happened after I killed him, after I cleared my path. I didn’t know what was beyond him on my path, and, at the moment, I didn’t care. As long as he was off it…then almost anything else could be on my path.


If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show


Of course, I had to finish severing my ties with Konoha first. I could feel my footsteps becoming lighter, faster, as I walked. The part of my mind that was telling me not to leave was slowly falling to the other part of my mind that was saying how much I needed to leave.


That I’m trying to let you know


Though I had increased my pace, it was still slower than a normal walk. It was painful to have to leave; painful to have to force myself to forget everything my companions in Konoha had done with me, as ‘friends’.


That I’m better off on my own


He had told me that people grow stronger through pain. He must have been correct, since I felt my steps quicken, felt them become more confident. I continued walking like this, with my shoulders only slightly slumped, as I moved down my path.

My mind was so distracted that I didn’t sense her at all. Until, of course, I heard her footsteps. I acted as if I hadn’t noticed her, and continued walking as if I were just put for a midnight stroll. Of course, she didn’t believe what I was doing as just that.


Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you


Why did it have to be her? I could have cared less if it were Naruto, or any of the others. It probably would have been tricky if it was a Jounin, but still…why did it have to be Sakura who found me?


I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win


I didn’t look back. I intended on continuing to walk, and to hell with whatever Sakura said. I couldn’t let anyone hold me back, not even her. She was the best in Konoha at breaking my mask, even if I gave the impression otherwise.


You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me
High


But, of course, my intentions didn’t necessarily become my actions. I stopped, her words hurting me more than I would ever let show. She was making me rethink what I was doing…


What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am


Was it really worth it? Was it really worth causing everyone, including myself, pain? Was it really worth causing Sakura to cry? Was it really worth everything that I had done all these years?


I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold


Yes, it was. I was hardly listening to Sakura’s words anymore. I knew that, if I did, my mask could crumble and I could be convinced to stay behind, here in Konoha. Why did it have to be Sakura who noticed me leaving?


What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am


At first, I had thought her nothing more than another annoying little girl, obsessed with my exterior appearance and not knowing anything of the inner hell that I was continuously conflicting within.


I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so
Cold


But as time passed, I realized that she was actually concerned about me, my thoughts, and what had caused me to become what I was now. I realized that she actually cared about everything that I had gone through, and what I was intending on putting myself through.


To you, I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again


I doubted that she ever even understood that I cared for her as well. My mask had a way of keeping myself from even becoming friends with her, so I remained cold to her, remained impassive and uncaring. I hated doing that, but I knew that I had to.


Cause now I can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me
High


And now, here she was, causing me more pain than I had felt in a long time. I could tell that I was causing her pain as well, although I said nothing. Or, perhaps, it was because I said nothing?


What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am


Had my silence become unbearable to her? It was hard enough for me alone, but with her sobbing behind me and begging me to stay…promising a better life if only I remained in Konoha…


I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold


Would my life improve if I stayed? Certainly, I would feel far better than I have in most of my years, but there would always be a part of my mind that needed to know how I could have let weakness overcome my path.


What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am


That one thought would continue to torment me, up until the point that I would be able to take it no longer. I thought about it, I really did. But, if I stayed in Konoha, my life would end up being worse than it would be in leaving.


I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold


I finally realized that Sakura had said something akin to a question. Would I remain silent, and have to put us both through more torment? Or would I reply, and possibly cause the same amount, or more, pain?


I never meant to be so cold…


I decided upon speaking. I had been silent far too long. Before I replied, though, I calmed myself and rearranged my mask, putting my expression to one that was more normal than the expression that I carried at the moment. Then, I turned around, and replied.


I never really
Wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep


She seemed surprised at first. Unwillingly, I noticed the tears staining her face and forced myself to keep my mask on, forced myself from giving in to this detour on my path, no matter how much I wanted to.


Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get
To me


One expression that my mask always had trouble blocking was my eyes. Therefore, they showed the most emotion. I tried hard to block it, but it was obvious that Sakura had seen the pain that shone in my eyes at the moment.


I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there’s just no hope
I never meant to be so cold


Her crying, which had momentarily stopped, now continued. I had seen her cry only twice before. One was over my supposedly dead body, after we had fought Haku and Zabuza, and the other was in the Forest of Death, when the Cursed Seal took over my mind and body.


What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am


And now, she was crying again. I realized that, every time she cried, it was because of me, whether knowing that what I was doing was causing pain, or not. I realized that, the only person she ever cried for was I.


I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold


She had always been there, willing to do anything for me. All I would have to do would be to ask. She even offered to come with me, if I refused to remain here in Konoha. She offered everything for me, yet I couldn’t accept anything.


What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am


I felt as if I needed to cry, as well. Wasn’t it bad enough that I had to walk the path that I did, without people I cared for getting in the way? Wasn’t it bad enough that I had to wear this mask, without having to keep it on to stop myself from trailing from my path?


I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold


I was beginning to worry. If I stayed much longer, I would probably fall in and stay behind in Konoha. I couldn’t just leave, though, as Sakura would definitely manage to alert someone, and I felt that I owed her something. There wasn’t much I could give her, but I decided on quickest and most truthful way to sum up everything I felt for her… ‘Thank you.’

I was away from Konoha now. In leaving behind Sakura, I realized that nothing short of death would be able to keep me from going on. My path was now cleared, up to the point where he waited.


I will dedicate
And sacrifice my every-thing for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending


Even so…despite the fact that I knew my path was clear, even though I knew that nothing could stop me, I felt uncertain. Would it really be that easy? Would I really be able to kill him, once I managed to find him?


And I wish I could know
If the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make
Won't end up all for nothing


If I went to Orochimaru’s, would he actually try to take over my body, as those idiots had been blathering on about? Or had they just been telling me that to deter my path, to try and keep me as a weakling in Konoha?


Show me what it's for
Make me understand it


If what they had been saying were true, would I actually have a chance of killing him if Orochimaru took over my body? Would all that I have done be rendered pointless at one foolish mistake?


I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Is there something more
Than what I've been handed?


Even as I thought, my footsteps did not halt. If I paused on my path, I was sure that I would fall to my doubts and return to Konoha, despite what seemed to be my cold determination. It was really just following a promise that I had made all those years ago.


I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer


My progress slowed, leaving me with my fears and doubts, my reasoning and questions. The wind picked up, blowing the clouds back over the moon. I felt sick and weak, and looked up into the night sky.


Help me carry on
Assure me it's okay to
Use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness


I thought that I could hear voices. But when I glanced behind me, all I saw was the path that I had walked. It was then I realized that the voices were from within me, speaking through my thoughts.


Will the ending be
Ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see
The ending to my story?


It was almost amusing. I was already going mad, and I hadn’t even fully left Konoha yet. Despite this, I listened to the voices as they spoke, closing my eyes to shut out all of the many distractions.


Show me what it's for
Make me understand it


I recognized the voices. They were of those long dead…they belonged to Uchihas that had been murdered by him. The spirits of Uchihas that lived on within me, helping me with my decisions and hungry for revenge.


I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Is there something more
Than what I've been handed?


I shivered slightly as I recognized another voice. It was my own voice, from when I was far younger. It was true; that voice was the one of my innocence, and my innocence had been killed by him on that night.


I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer


It rightfully belonged within my subconscious mind, residing there like a dead soul. Its voice was one of the few that were telling me to return to Konoha. The others that I recognized were my mother’s, and my father’s.


So when and how will I know?


But I knew that they were just voices of my doubt, not the real voices of my parents. I’m sure that they would want me to follow the path that I was; they would want me to avenge them…wouldn’t they?


How much further do I have to go?
How much longer ‘til I finally know?
‘Cause I'm looking and I just can't see
What's in front of me


I opened my eyes, allowing the distractions overcome the voices. Of course they would want me to follow the path that I was. It would be stupid if they didn’t. I refused to allow myself to think more on that topic. Of course they would want this. They had to want this.


In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it


My footsteps became heavier. With each footstep, a crack ran through my mask. Soon, the mask was completely shattered. I stopped, looking up at the cloud-covered moon and the few stars that shone through.


I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Is there something more
Than what I've been handed?


I felt myself fall to my knees, and realized that tears were running from my closed eyelids. I remained like that for a while, crying out my helplessness, my anger, my fear, and the heaviness that I felt in my dead heart.


I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer


Slowly, ever so slowly, I stood up again. I was shaking as I walked now, and each step brought me both physical and mental pain. But I had to go through this. I managed to wipe the tears from my face, though my eyes still shone with them. I had to continue down my path, no matter how much darkness was there.

He followed me. Apparently, others followed as well, but only Naruto had managed to catch up with me. I both expected and did not expect this, and was both pleased and irritated with it as well.


I think I'm breaking out
I'm gonna leave you now
There’s nothing for me here
It's all the same


Mainly, though, I was pleased. I knew that Naruto was my best friend. Therefore, I could kill my best friend here…and in doing so, I would unlock the Mangekyou Sharingan to kill him.


And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here
I'm not afraid


Also by killing Naruto, I would sever my ties with Konoha even further than they already would. I would also cause myself more pain, and, from the pain, I would grow stronger. As I thought upon this, I realized how pitiful humans’ existences are.


Way away away from here I'll be
Way away away so you can see


But I was also annoyed and angered by Naruto’s never ending attempts to stop me. Hadn’t he already nearly torn me from my path? It was true that he was my best friend, but he was also one of the people that I hated the most…Second after him… I would never hate Naruto more than the man who killed part of myself along with the Clan.


How it feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Anything


Despite my inner feelings, I hid them beneath a powerful mask. That, along with the residual marks from the curse, scared Naruto, though not for long. Soon we were fighting, for different reasons…me, to kill Naruto, and Naruto, to bring me back to Konoha.


You can't stop me now
You can't hold me down
You can't keep me here
I'm on my way


My Sharingan was activated, and Naruto had used some strange red chakra. I would have to find out about that later on…as well as the jutsu of swirling chakra that he used. Both of my Chidori didn’t seem to have any effect on Naruto.


I've made it this far now
And I'm not burning out
No matter what you say
I'm not afraid


Have you finally opened your eyes? I paused for a moment, opening my physical eyes. His words rang through me, enraging me even further than I already had been. That idiot…what could he know?


Way away away from here I'll be
Way away away so you can see


Shut up…what would you, with no siblings or parents, know about me? The effect of my words obviously hurt him. You were alone from the start! What the hell do you know? We suffer because of our bonds…you don’t know how it feels to loose them!


How it feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Anything


His pain was obvious now, in his expression, in his eyes. Good. He deserved it. In thinking that he knew how I felt…with the stupidity of even saying that he knew how I felt…no one ever could. They were all lies.


Letting out the noise inside of me
Letting out the noise inside of me


Was there any truth in this world? Any at all? Or was the world built upon lies, with the truth buried far beneath them? Or was there no end to all of the damn lies in the first place?


Every window pane is shattering
Every window pane is shattering


My mask had been shattered for a while, now. I could care less, though. I think I preferred fighting without it. Maybe later on I would repair my mask, as I trained in solitude.


Cutting up my words before I speak
Cutting up my words


And I would train in solitude. No one would tear me from my path now that I have left Konoha. If I ever returned, it would be long after killing him, long after finding myself again and learning to forget my mask.


This is how it feels to not believe…


Fighting Naruto and having these thoughts at the same time seemed odd to me, although I didn’t notice this until a while after the fight had finished in a way that I could have preferred to be different. A way that I could have made different.


Letting out the noise inside of me
Letting out the noise inside of me


It would have been so easy to kill Naruto then, when he was lying unconscious on the ground, soaked in the rain that poured from the sky. What was it crying for? My weakness? My past? The result of all the pain that I had been through?


Every window pane is shattering
Every window pane is shattering


I find it somewhat ironic that both of us ended up failing. Naruto hadn’t managed to defeat me or convince me to return to Konoha. And I hadn’t managed to sever the ties with the one that I had called my best friend.


Cutting up my words before I speak
Cutting up my words


It took me a while to stand again, after falling from the pain of the curse, as well as the pain of my actions and memories. Maybe I was living in the past. Maybe I was overreacting. I didn’t care.


This is how it feels to not believe…


I moved slowly, as if I was physically weighed down with the burdens that I carried in my mind, with the spirits of those long dead. Sorrow mingled with confusion and anger, rising within me to lead me to one answer.


Way away away from here I'll be
Way away away so you can see


It had all been his fault. Everything had happened because of him. All the pain that I felt, all the pain that anyone else felt, was because of that man, that night. Memories flooded my mind, and I raised my head, as if finally seeing something that had been hidden for so long.


How it feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe


I would not be his puppet. I would not follow the same path as him. I would avenge everyone in my own way, and find power in my own way. I would not unlock the Mangekyou Sharingan simply because he told me to unlock it.


Anything


Satisfied with myself, although still pained by the memories within my mind and soul, I continued to walk. I would go down this path till the end, without doing anything that he wished me to. I would not follow his path, but my own. Only my own.

My path was my own, forged in both anger and despair, as well as sorrow and hopelessness. To others, my reasons for revenge would probably seem stupid and worthless, yet to me, they were more than enough.


How the hell
Did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables


They would probably say that I should be thanking him for keeping from killing me as well. I should be thanking him for allowing me to live, even though he killed everyone else. I was lucky, they would say.


I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase


They didn’t understand. I would never be at peace until the spirits of my clan were no longer resting on my shoulders, in my mind, but instead on their murderer’s corpse. Only then would I be free.


Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late


And when I killed him, I knew that I could go on with life. Kakashi was wrong. What would be left would not be nothingness. I would not allow that. I never would allow my life to become pointless, however many lies I lived.


Nothing's wrong
Just as long as
You know that someday I will


Once my mind was freed, I would spend a while in solitude. I would have to learn to live without my mask, without my lies. I would teach myself to tell the truth, and to experience that one emotion that I had forgotten…happiness.


Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right
But not right now


But all this would be after I killed him. I would not stop at anything to get the power that I needed. I no longer lacked the necessary hatred; that was sure- but I still needed the power to match the hate.


I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that


And to achieve that amount of power, all I had to do was go to Orochimaru. What I had felt when I experienced the final stage of the curse mark that he had left was beyond what I had imagined.


Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right
But not right now


That power, plus what I could achieve myself, would definitely allow me to kill him. And after I did so, I could find all the peace that had been lost to me, all the happiness. I only regretted that I would not, no matter how I tried, be able to recover my innocence.


I know you're wondering when


In a way, I suppose that I wouldn’t want my innocence. In a way, innocence was not real, but merely another form of lies. Maybe I didn’t want my innocence again, after all. I had only been innocent because I didn’t know the truths of the world.


Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying


I simply wish that what happened never did. I wish that the path I walked was not necessary. But wishes were not real, and never came true. I knew that wishes were stupid, but I was wishing anyways.


Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying


Of course, wishing and hope would bring nothing but more pain. I knew that ever since the day I awoke in the hospital, always wishing that everything had just been a dream. Always hoping that I would wake up if I just waited.


Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel


But, of course, I never did awaken from the nightmare. I was still living it, still surviving within it. I had forgotten many emotions- love, happiness, trust, and strengthened others- hate, determination, wariness.


Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror


Only fear remained hidden in the shadows of my mind, only coming out at night, in the reenactments of my past, or in the whispers of those long dead. Fear could be powerful, far more powerful than any other emotion that existed.


Nothing's wrong
Just as long as
You know that someday I will


It was also an emotion that could be suppressed with determination, or overridden with foolishness. But certain things amplified it, certain memories, selected words, careful actions. And when amplified, fear was one of the worst enemies a person could have.


Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right
But not right now


I was glad that my fear only came out at the most rare times apart from in sleep. And when it came, it was small enough to contort to be some other emotion, something far less obvious- caution, or anger.


I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that


Of course, they were all variations of lies. Everything in the world was some form of a lie, though some were far more twisted than others. Everything in the world was some form of an emotion that a person no longer wished to feel.


Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right
But not right now


Maybe there were some truths, but I just couldn’t see them. Maybe there was such an abstract thing as honesty, but I had just never experienced it. Maybe there were many things that I knew nothing of, simply because I had no time to see them.


I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that


I realized that I had very little time for anything in my life. Little but revenge and hate, determination and coldness, were ever on my mind. There was sadness, too, but I rarely dwelled on it.


How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables


If I lived on the sorrow, I would probably weaken. If I wasted time with other emotions, I wouldn’t be able to strengthen my hatred to what it was now. I couldn’t allow myself to think upon what I had lost with a sad view, only with one of anger.


Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror


There was darkness too, of course. No light was in my mind, or in my thoughts. Everything was against me, trying to take me off my path in one way or another. People would wonder why I was so dark, yet they only needed to see my past to think otherwise.


Nothing's wrong
Just as long as
You know that someday I will


I didn’t want pity, though. Pity was worthless, and very unlikely to be true. Anyone who really understood how I felt would agree that my path was the correct one. For someone like me, there was no path but vengeance.


Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right
But not right now


But when that path was finished, there was always more to be found, to be recovered. There were far more paths than just one, but I had chosen the one that would free my mind. When that path was completed, I could move on.


I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that


But only after. I would not allow myself to forget my true path until I had reached its end. I would not allow myself to be taken from my path, like I nearly had in Konoha. Only after finishing this path would I move to another.


Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right
But not right now


Whatever blocked my path would be ridded of, in one way or another. If hunter-nin were sent after me, I would not care if I had to kill them. If Naruto was sent after me, and I had to fight him once more, I would leave him unconscious once more.


I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that


Naruto was still my friend, so I could not kill him, as that would have me following the path he wanted me to. And I would never follow the path that he wanted me to- I would do what my father asked me to, and not go on the same path as the man called my brother, at whatever the cost.


I know you're wondering when


Nothing could keep me from doing what was necessary to achieve my revenge. Nothing could stop me from doing whatever I needed to free my mind from the spirits that resided there. And since nothing could stop me, I would follow my path till the end, and only then would I choose another path to follow.

My determination was nearly tangible. I could smell it whenever I breathed, tasted it whenever I ate, heard it whenever I spoke, felt it whenever I brushed the sweat from my brow, and saw it whenever I looked in a mirror.


Everybody's got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you


Nothing could take me from my path, I realized. I could not die until I killed him. No matter what was thrown my way, I would not allow him to live, even if I died while taking his life as well.


It's just a matter how you solve them
And knowing how to change the things you've been through


I knew that I would probably have to give up more than what I already had. Maybe it would be my life. Maybe the only way to kill him was to kill myself in the process. But would it matter? No.


I feel I've come to realize
How fast life can be compromised


That was my fate, wasn’t it? Even though I wanted to take up another path after this one was complete, it was highly possible that I would be unable to. The thought didn’t bother me much, as most of myself had died already.


Step back to see what's going on
I can't believe this has happened to you


My childhood was killed by him, while my bonds in Konoha had been killed by myself. My mind had also been killed by him, while most of my emotion had also been killed by myself. It seemed that I had no real spirit- though if I did, it was most likely damned.


This happened to you


Perhaps I would be killed by him- once he died, anyone near to him would die as well. The thought didn’t surprise me. But then, that was also unlikely- since his way was for the weak to die. If anyone could kill him, that made them strong, therefore not deserving to die until someone stronger came.


It's just a problem that I'm faced with am I
Not the only one who hates to stand by


Perhaps I would have to use the final stage of Orochimaru’s curse to kill him- and I would stay in the stage for long enough for it to take over my mind, therefore also killing me. But of course, that could only happen after I killed him, so it didn’t bother me.


Complications that are first in this line
With all these pictures running through my mind


Perhaps I would be so weakened by the time the fight was over that any mere passerby could kill me- whether another shinobi, hunter-nin, or a plain civilian. But, since it would be after he died, I didn’t care.


Knowing endless
Consequences
I feel so useless in this


I did want to live, though. Despite the fact that I was prepared to die if need be, I wanted to live, to continue on with life on that new path that would be available after this one was complete.


Get back, step back, and as for me
I can't believe


I knew that I was prepared, mentally, to fight him, and to kill him. I knew also that I was far from being ready to fight him, as my strength was pathetic compared to his. But now that I no longer lacked hatred, I could become as strong as I needed to.


Part of me
Won’t agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure


Of course, once I killed him, I would be the only Uchiha surviving. Unless I was killed as I killed him, or in some other way, where we both died. If that happened, then the Uchiha clan would be eliminated.


Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure


If I survived and chose a new path, I knew that in some way, I would need to help recover the Uchiha clan. I would not allow the clan to fall if I survived. No, never that. Never would I allow our strength to fade if I lived.


Part of me
Won’t agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure


But, if I died, the Uchiha clan would fade into nothingness. Most would probably be glad for that, as our clan’s bloody past could finally be forgotten. People would drop it from their minds over time, and lives would go on.


Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure


Or, maybe, people would spread our history through stories, as the make-believe clan that had a make-believe bloodline limit called the Sharingan. People would be amazed by the story’s reality, although they would learn it to be nothing more than a fantasy.


Anymore


No one would believe in a dead clan, with no remainder to prove of their existence. Maybe people who remembered me- Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, and the others- would say that the Uchiha clan was real, that it was not mere myth.


Everybody's got their problems
Problems
Everybody says the same things to you


But, in time, they too would die, along with their memories. Maybe the recordbooks would still hold proof of the Uchiha clan and it’s many members, but who would believe written words over a living being?


It's just a matter how you solve them
Solve them
But what else are we supposed to do


But it would be different if I survived…the clan would be rebuilt, though definitely not as powerful as it had once been. People would remember, and they would believe, too, since there was living proof.


Part of me
Won’t agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure


The Sharingan would live on, as would the jutsus that were passed through only the Uchiha clan members. Konoha would once more have the aid of the powerful shinobi from the legendary Uchiha clan…And the Hyuuga clan would still have a rival.


Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure


I didn’t really care either way, although I preferred the latter. People tend to choose life over death for themselves, and I was no different. I didn’t fear death, but I didn’t hate life, either.


Part of me
Won’t agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure


It was true that I feared suicide. But what I was doing, the path that I walked- if I was killed as I killed him, that was not suicide. Although to others it would be, to me it was not. It was simply my path, and my fate.


Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure
Anymore


Out of the many times that he was wrong, he was right in saying that it was the fate of the weak to die. Therefore, if I was weak, I died. If I was strong, I lived. It was a natural way of things, made to keep the frail wary.


Why do things that matter the most
Never end up being what we chose
Anymore


Hyuuga Neji had been right in some ways, as well. There was such a thing as fate, and it was inescapable. But you made your fate yourself, by your decisions and your choices in what combinations of paths to follow.


Now that I find no way so bad
I don't think I knew what I had
Anymore


I hadn’t really thought about things like this much. I had always been busy keeping my mask from cracking, keeping the small spot in my heart from melting, or training until I could hardly move. No time for thoughts.


Why do things that matter the most
Never end up being what we chose
Anymore


But now, I didn’t have to worry about my mask, and I didn’t have anything to melt that spot in my heart. I didn’t have to take time from training to do missions or to avoid others. All I needed to do was concentrate on where my path was leading me.


Now that I find no way so bad
I don't think I knew what I had


I knew where my path was leading me. I knew that I could die. I knew that the Uchiha clan could fade into nothingness. I knew all this, and I was prepared for it. I would not leave my path.