Requiem of Despair: Chapter 1
Of Longing and Lost Love


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Kakashi’s POV

I failed them…

His eyes widened in realization. Rain soaked through his clothing, numbing his flesh while adding a delicate sheen to the stone monument in front of him.

They’re all gone, because of me…

These cursed words crushed his soul under a torrential downpour of despair.

If only I had done things differently… told them I cherished ever second of their company…

“One notices these minute details when one’s left absolutely alone in the world,” he whispered to the stone in front of him with chagrin.

Two dead… one chasing after the same fate… and two completely out of my control…

His finger unconsciously traced Obito’s name on the stone. His childhood team had been effectively destroyed with the untimely death of his teammates Rin and Obito, followed by the Yondaime’s ultimate sacrifice.

Followed by another mistake… Sasuke…

He cringed. Perhaps he had failed Sasuke most of all. Not only had he empowered him with rigorous sharingan training, but he had been unable to prevent his inevitable escape from Konoha. Give a criminal a blade and you’ll end up bleeding…

While training Sasuke, he had unintentionally abandoned his other responsibilities... resulting in others taking up his slack once again. With Naruto and Sakura training under Jiraiya and Tsunade, respectively, he was rendered absolutely useless.

”They have the ability to train them far better than I could have ever hoped to,” he chastised himself.

Damn this miserable existence!

He raked his trembling hand through his drenched silvery tresses.

“And here I am, hiding from the world behind this miserable mask!” he cried while ripping the thin piece of cobalt material from his face, revealing still youthful, striking features, unknown to the eyes of mortals.

When the pendulum finally swings the other way… I’ll surely be burning in hell.

He closed his exposed eye to the tempest raging above him, praying for his end to be swift.


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Sakura’s POV

Love isn’t a feeling… nor an emotion. Otherwise, wouldn’t one have the ability to fall out of love just as easily as falling in? No, it was never that simple for Haruno Sakura.

She had thought long and hard on the enigma of love and eventually came to a single conclusion: love is to choose the greatest good for the other person, even at the risk of destroying yourself.

This proved true as she let the embodiment of her affection slip through her aching fingers. Her love for Uchiha Sasuke was absolute, consuming her every hope and desire.

And I had once dreamed to marry him some day.

Dreams that now consumed her as nightmares.

Oh sure, they would start out as a beautiful dream of Sasuke’s return; flinging herself into his welcoming arms. Always the same dream… his knowing fingers lightly tracing her soft features, drawing her closer ever so slowly until their lips were mere millimeters apart. She would then open her sea foam green eyes, and his image would slowly dissolve into the air around her.

Instantly, the beautiful surroundings would dim, leaving her soul consumed by darkness. The wind would turn bitter and damp… nipping at her exposed flesh and whispering hurtful words into her already tortured mind.

But she had to let him go. Keeping him tightly wrapped in her desperate arms would have only confirmed her selfish desires.

I loved him…so I set him free.

“Loved? Well I suppose somewhere along the way I have stopped loving him…” she mused.

How can you love someone when you’re completely devoid of all emotions?

“Sakura!” Tsunade barked while sticking her head into the room where Sakura was reminiscing, “You now have three patients waiting for you! Get to work!”

But Tsunade, although terrifying at times, did not have the ability to disrupt Sakura’s distracted mind that easily.

When was the last time I laughed or cried? She wondered inwardly as she focused chakra into her trained fingertips and gently healed her patient’s chest wound. My tears for Sasuke have long since dried up.

“Something wrong kunoichi?” inquired her patient. “You seem a little… distant. Need somebody to talk to?

“No… I’m really quite fine actually! Just a little tired…” she replied sweetly with a forced smile.

Hours later after completing her excruciatingly long day’s work, she finally decided to confront Tsunade with her internal crisis.

She approached her sensei’s door and stood examining its details for all of ten minutes.

Hmmm… I wonder if she’s finally acquired the courage approach me? However, I am growing quite tired of waiting…

“Sakura… come in and tell me what’s on your mind,” Tsunade commanded.

Slightly startled, Sakura hesitantly obeyed and slid into the quaint office.

“Tsunade-sama,” she began, “I need… some time. Time to get my head together.”

“…”

“…”


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A/N: Hmm… I would like to accredit this little chunk of sunshine to my pounding migraine and horrific mood. Well actually, I feel a lot better now! I’ve wanted to write something about my beloved Kakashi for a while now, and I apologize if he or Sakura (or both!) were slightly OOC. I know… cliffhangers are evil, but sleepiness is causing me to cut it off here. So you’ll just have to SUFFER! -maniacal laughter- No leaving without first reviewing! -waves index finger menacingly- .

By the way, “Love is to choose the greatest good for the other person,” is a quote directly from Brad Henning, a brilliant motivational speaker.

Requiem of Despair: Chapter 2
Exposure


He woke with a start, face still compressed against the cold stone he was sitting in front of minutes earlier. Or was it hours? Days or weeks? He really had no idea and couldn’t care less.

His fingertips immediately grazed the side of his mouth, wondering briefly where his mask had gone before the memory of tearing it from his face flooded back into his mind.

Oh shit, I’m never going to hear the end of this…

He honestly couldn’t remember ever allowing a single person in Konoha to see his face unmasked, and he was certain that there wasn’t a person out there who wouldn’t take the opportunity to give him hell.

”Who knows? Maybe they won’t recognize me,” he mumbled to himself.

If I didn’t look so goddamn much like my bastard father…

He clenched and unclenched his fists a few times, then started in the direction of the village.

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“Kakashi my rival!” hailed Gai from across a puddle-ridden street before jogging up to said rival’s side.

Kakashi turned slightly and blanched. Truly, he was being punished for some crime against nature he had unknowingly committed.

Gai squinted, eyeing Kakashi from head to toe in an attempt to figure out just what was different about the jounin today.

The silver haired man sighed heavily and leaned against the side of a building, arms crossed over his soaked chest.

“Is there something I can do for you today Gai?” he drawled, a slight sneer gracing the corners of his lips.

Gai’s fingers began to massage his chin pensively as he further scrutinized the man standing in front of him. Something was different, of that he was sure… but what?

Finally, after a good three minutes or so Gai’s expression changed from that of confusion to amusement.

”Aaha! Clever rival.” He shook his head, a grin plastered on his obnoxious face. “…You’ve had your hair cut!”

For a second Kakashi stared, wide-eyed and jaw slightly unhinged in utter disbelief.

Oh come on… I knew this guy was dense but… can he be serious?

“Err, yeah Gai. I guess there’s no fooling your careful eye,” he grinned, scratching the back of his head with one hand.

Gai let out a loud, triumphant laugh, tapping the area to the side of his left eye. “Right you are my rival! I spare no detail, no matter how seemingly insignificant!”

“Right. Well, I’m soaked… so I’ll be leaving now.” Kakashi brushed past and retreated down the empty street.

“Until we meet again, dear rival!” Gai cried passionately waving one arm in the air towards the withdrawing figure.


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“Hey! Kakashi-sensei! Wait up!”

Kakashi groaned, turning to face the blonde-haired boy speeding towards him.

”Why hello Naruto, what brings you here on this miserably bleak day?” he sighed.

“Oh! I was on my way to get some ramen!” Naruto chirped. “Wanna come?”

I would rather swallow a bucket of rusting nails actually…
“I think I’ll pass.”

The disappointment showed itself in Naruto’s face for only a moment before being replaced by the cheesy grin once more.

“Ah, that’s okay, maybe some other time!” he laughed before cocking his head slightly to the side and inspecting Kakashi just as Gai had done.

“Hmm… you look different than usual. Did you get a new haircut?”

With that, Kakashi vanished in a puff of smoke and reappeared in front of his apartment complex.

Alright, so perhaps living amidst absolute morons is worse than hell…
Effortlessly, he leaped up to his slightly ajar window on the fourth floor and pulled his exhausted body through. He took two steps toward the bathroom in search for some towels, but unfortunately his legs gave out, causing him to fall to the floor with a loud THUMP.

Who needs a bed when tile is just a few feet away? He thought drearily before drifting off into a restless slumber.


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Meanwhile back in Tsunade’s office…

She wants time off? I can’t afford to give my best medic time off!

“Time off, huh?” Tsunade attempted to rub the growing migraine out of her temples. “Sakura-chan, you know I can’t give you time off right now, not with Shizune out with pneumonia and Midori eight months pregnant.”

Strawberry locks fell gently over ivory skin as she bowed her head in defeat.

”I understand Tsunade-sama,” she said in a voice so low it was almost a whisper.

This girl is going to be the end of me…

However, I may be able to use this to my advantage…

Tsunade feigned an exasperated sigh, suppressing the grin that threatened to give away her master plan.

”Well, I suppose I could spare you for two days and not a second more. Although, you will need to do me a favor in return…” she began.

Sakura’s head immediately snapped up, her sea foam eyes wide with fleeting hope.

“Thank you so much Tsunade-sama!” she cried, bowing before her sensei.

“Ah, don’t thank me quite yet Sakura-chan…” Tsunade said with a glint in her eyes. “You haven’t asked me what the favor is yet.”

Sakura’s left eyebrow twitched slightly. Why did everything have strings attached?

She’d better NOT make me spend time with Naruto!

She swallowed hard. “Wha… what is the favor Tsunade-sama?”

“I’ve noticed that Kakashi has been a little… down in the dumps lately. To say the least… I want you to keep him company for a while.”

Kakashi-sensei? Hm, I guess I’ve been too busy no notice…

“How long is a while?” Sakura inquired further.

“Until I decide he doesn’t need you any longer. You see, my theory is that he still feels guilty for losing Sasuke to Orochimaru… not to mention lonely, although the stubborn man would never admit it. But remember Sakura-chan, you must be subtle. I don’t want him finding out that I put you up to this,” the older woman smiled. “Do we have a deal?”

“Yeah, I guess. I was starting to miss the pervert anyway…” Sakura laughed. “Thank you again Tsunade-sama!” she shouted behind her while sprinting out of the hospital as fast as her feet could carry her.


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A/N: Alrighty, so that was chapter two! I’m sorry if I’ve upset any Gai lovers out there… by making him out to be a complete idiot, but I just couldn’t resist. Don’t forget to leave a review! I absolutely love hearing from you guys.

Requiem of Despair: Chapter 3
Remedy


The following evening, Sakura sat with her back against an ancient oak tree, enjoying the setting sun while a warm breeze introduced her nose to the light scent of wildflowers.

I’m so glad it finally stopped raining…

She closed her weary eyes against the breeze and wondered vaguely how long she could make this moment last.

Before long, her thoughts drifted to her new “mission”.

I’m sure Tsunade-sama is just overreacting… the man doesn’t need a babysitter!

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she thought of his reaction if she told him the truth.

“Oi! Kakashi-sensei! So I hear you’ve been a little melancholy lately. Well Sakura-chan is going to fix you right up!”

-sweatdrop-

If he finds out what I’m really up to… he’ll skin me alive! I’d better be extra careful…

She opened her eyes and was greeted with pale stars freckling the now dark sky.

Well, I might as well get it over with…


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Knock… knock… KNOCK!

He woke with a start, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

What the hell is that?

He looked around frantically, trying to find the source of the offensive noise.

Mental note: Sleeping on the tile causes headaches…

“Kakashi-sensei! I know you’re in there… just open the goddamn door!” Sakura shouted while pounding on the door again.

Kakashi hoisted himself up into a standing position and staggered to the door, head throbbing harder with every step. After fumbling with the lock for a few seconds, he finally succeeded in swinging the door open.

Sakura? What is she doing here?

“Ah, Sakura-chan… as you can undoubtedly see, this isn’t a good time for catching up. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” he mumbled while closing the door.

However, her foot shot out and forced it open again.

After staring at him for a moment or two, Sakura’s jaw slacked.

“Kakashi-sensei… your mask!” she gasped, eyes widening in disbelief.

“Mmm hmm, it’s temporarily out of commission,” he replied tersely before attempting to shut the door again.

”Stop trying to close the door in my face!” Sakura yelled after stopping it once more and let herself inside, lest he try to shut her out again.

“Oh yeah… make yourself at home,” he sighed sarcastically before collapsing on a sofa near by.

After briefly observing his extremely untidy apartment for the first time, her eyes finally found their way to Kakashi.

And for the first time in three years, Sakura really looked at the broken man in front of her.

He slouched against an armrest, throbbing head in hand, eye halfway closed. From the state of his hair, she assumed he hadn’t showered in days. His normally pale skin was almost paper white, a dark circle lined the bottom of his exposed eye. Judging by the drawn look of his face and thinness of his wrists, he hadn’t been eating properly either.

Tsunade-sama was absolutely right… he does need my help.

Her heart lurched at the sight of her former sensei in such a state. Immediately every feminine instinct flooded into her, demanding that she take him into her arms and nurse him back to the great man he once was.

Where do I start? She panicked slightly, before regaining her cool.

Okay Sakura, she rallied her courage, you’re going to have to be strong here. He’s obviously sick, mentally and physically, and it’s your job to fix him. First get the poor man out of those soaked clothes, get him cleaned up, fed and whatever else you can do for him. Then, figure out what his problem is. Got that? Good! Now get to work!

“Kakashi-sensei… lets get you out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia, ne?” she smiled sweetly at him.

Given the size of his small apartment, it was easy to recognize which room was his. She quickly went through his dresser, silently praying to whatever god would listen that she wouldn’t discover anything “inappropriate.”

Luckily she found pajama bottoms and a loose t-shirt without stumbling over any of his lecherous paraphernalia, and then returned to the living room.

Sleeping again? That’s all he ever does!

She sighed, and sat next to the silver haired jounin.

”Kakashi-sensei…” she poked his arm, “Kakashi-sensei, wake up!”

“Ah… oh… you’re still here?” he asked sleepily.

“Yes, and you’re going to catch a cold if you don’t change out of those damp clothes.” She removed his forehead protector and held a hand to his brow.

He’s really burning up…

“Alright, why don’t you go take a shower and change into these while I make you something to eat?” she suggested while helping him stand up and leading him to the bathroom.

Sakura closed the bathroom door behind her and started rummaging through drawers and cupboards in the kitchen. A few minutes later she heard the shower start running.

Oh god, what if he collapses in the shower… and I have to break in?

She felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

Heh, that just won’t happen.

She shook her head a few times before returning to her search.

Hmm… instant ramen, week old milk, potatoes, eggs. Typical.

“Omelets it is!” she sighed, before heating up a pan and cracking a few eggs.

A few minutes later she heard the shower stop, and Kakashi stepped out of the bathroom clad in his loose pajamas. He sulked over to where Sakura was cooking and collapsed onto a barstool.

”Why are you doing this? And why did you come here in the first place?” he demanded, with little enthusiasm.

She set a plate in front of him and replied, “I’m doing this because I want to.”

He began eating greedily while she continued, “And I came here to… er… see what you were up to!” Lame Sakura…“What, I can’t stop in on my old sensei every once in a while?” she laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head.

At this he quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Secretly, he prayed that this was the end of his loneliness.


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A/N: Oh man, this chapter took me forever to write for some reason! Perhaps I’m just not in the creative mood. Well, let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys!