Chapter 11: Tsunade's Wrath:

“Jiraiya! Where the hell are you and what the fuck have you done with my SON?!” Civilians quailed and children wet themselves in terror at the waves of indirect killing intent rolling in all directions from one seriously pissed off kunoichi.

Naruto could hear his mom bellowing before he got anywhere near the bathhouses. ‘Uh, oh. Looks like she found us! At least I got my forehead protector before she got here! Oh man, am I doomed…she’ll probably ban me from ramen for LIFE!’ he whimpered at the mere thought.

“Psst, Brat! Over here.” He looked towards the bushes that seemed to be talking to him and watched as his godfather’s Henge fell, revealing the crouched Toad Sage gesturing frantically for the boy to join him in his hidey-hole.

“Jiji? You know it’s no use hiding from her. You’re just putting off the inevitable.” If there was one main lesson his mother had pounded into him growing up, it was that hiding just gave her time to build up a good head of steam while she was looking for you. Also, it gave her time to think up creative punishments, which was NEVER a good thing…of course, she’d had the whole trip here to stew in her violently creative juices, so they were probably totally screwed no matter what.

“I don’t see you running over there to ‘take it like a man’.” Jiraiya growled in an exaggerated whisper. “You are a man now, you know. That forehead protector makes you an unofficial adult in Konoha and other Hidden Villages.”

“Really? Wow! This is probably not the time to be discussing the benefits of being a ninja, but I can’t wait to show my new headband to ‘Zune! Erk!” He squawked as Ivy protectively covered his mouth, and the Toad Sage unceremoniously pulled him into the bushes as his mother stormed past their hiding spot, only to spin around on her heel and stomp back to their position at a seriously pissed off growl from her son.

†

Jiraiya sometimes forgot that introducing Naruto to plants was a bad idea. Even Ivy, as possessive as she was, could only do so much when he was pulled into relatively dense foliage. Even in his Tsunade induced near panic state, he couldn’t really blame the kid for yelling as he was currently being lovingly smothered in botanical affection.

“You two have a LOT of explaining to do.”

Now THAT was killing intent. The bushes even stopped molesting Naruto momentarily at the feel of it, and Jiraiya found himself preparing to wave a very fond farewell to his testicles. This definitely wouldn’t be good.

“Hey Tsunade, look, I can explain!”

She didn’t look like she believed he could.

“See, the kid’s been ready for months, but you keep tacking impossible tasks on to what he had to be able to do before he could become a ninja! If we left it up to you, he’d be way behind his peers instead of ahead of them. You’d have him become a genin when everyone else his age was making jounin! It’s not fair to the brat! He works really hard and he deserves it. As his godfather, it’s my duty to see to things like this!”

That disturbing red fire in her eyes hadn’t faded yet so he knew he was still in trouble, but at least she hadn’t begun to beat on him. Yet. He kind of wondered how she managed that particular effect, was it a genjutsu? “Let me get this straight. You decided it was your ‘godfatherly duty’ to kidnap my precious Naru-chan, drag him across two countries, and make him a ninja to a village he’s never visited…without letting me, his loving mother, know about it, let alone condoning it.”

“…We left a note?”

“Oh, well, that’s okay then.” She growled menacingly.

“Really?”

“No.” She grabbed the Sage’s shoulders and unceremoniously kneed him hard in the groin.

Naruto knew his mother was pissed when she didn’t even give him a glance when the bushes pulled him back into their loving embrace. She just dragged Ero-Jiji off for his punishment.

It took him a good fifteen minutes to claw himself and Ivy free of the foliage, and both of them were worse for wear afterwards. He staggered towards the strangling and gurgling sounds, punctuated by blood curdling screams until he entered the swiftly emptying bathing district.

The boy winced as he watched his mother shove his godfather’s head into the near boiling water of the pool outside of the hot springs for about the 15th time. The old pervert sure could hold his breath for a long time.

“Tsunade! Urk!” Back under he went, “Look, the kid’s fine!” splash! “Nothing bad happened to him! He did a great job, even! He passed with flying colors!” gurgle, gurgle.

Naruto wondered how his godfather knew that. He hadn’t had time to tell him. Maybe he really DID have a spy network from which he gathered information that wasn’t perverted? He’d always sort of assumed he was making that up as an excuse to go whoring.

He knew he should intervene, but he was kind of hesitant to draw his mother’s attention to himself. It had been a while since he’d seen a bubble hit the surface though, and his godfather had stopped thrashing so he guessed he’d have to man up…”Kaa-san, you might want to let him go…er…I think you killed him.”

“GOOD!” she yelled, but she couldn’t have still been THAT mad because she heaved him out after a moment and began to shake the life back into him, “If you EVER take Naru-chan ANYWHERE without telling me about it first, LET ALONE here, I won’t pull you out next time!” Jiraiya’s head wobbled back and forth like a rag-doll’s, and his eyes had a weird swirly pattern in them.

Kaa-san was a little irrational about Konoha. It wasn’t like his godfather didn’t take him on brief trips to other places all the time since he’d turned eight – granted, they usually told her about it before they left, or at least discussed it with Shizune if she weren’t sober enough to pay attention. On top of that, it had been understood since he was seven and she’d finally given up on turning him into a non-combat oriented medic-nin (he’d tried to sink all of his medical textbooks in the ocean) that he would someday become Jiraiya’s apprentice like his father before him.

Well…when worse came to worst, there was only one way to deal with a murderous Kaa-san, though it was really embarrassing and he hated doing it. It also felt like kind of a shitty thing to do, but it was best to put a stop to this before she gutted his godfather and remembered that this was pretty much equally his fault too. He sighed and made his eyes huge, forgoing blinking until they began to water a little. Then he put out his bottom lip a carefully calculated distance and gave it a slight tremor; a familiar tingling started in his cheek and shoulder, “Kaa-san…aren’t you proud of me? You’d been away and we didn’t know when you were coming back. We had to get here before the exams…besides I made genin and everything…”

Tsunade abruptly dropped the pervert. His head made a kind of comical hollow ‘thunk’ing noise when it hit the rocks, but self-preservation had made Naruto an ace at this, so he managed not to break character, turning his brief flash of amusement into a sniffle.

His mom stared at him in horror, and he almost felt bad about this, just a little. It was his ultimate technique, the powerful Guilt Trip no Jutsu, not to be used lightly. He was genetically predisposed to it, Jiji had assured him – it was almost another bloodline limit. Not many people had the huge blue eyes to pull it off. He wasn’t sure about that. He’d been pretty sure if that were the case, it would become less effective as he got older, but so far, it hadn’t failed him. Naruto thought it was far more likely part of his actual kekkei genkai, rather than his appearance. Kaa-san had said something to that effect once.

Tsunade felt her desire to kill dropping at the sight of her poor, suffering, son – oh, no! She hardened her resolve. He wasn’t getting off that easily…even if he had been horribly influenced into it by that irresponsible pervert…just look at those soulful eyes! The kid tried so damn hard, nearly killing himself training every day since his kekkei genkai had developed, and she knew he wanted nothing so much as the approval of the adults in his life. How could she try to hold her baby back like that?

Naruto didn’t know whether to cheer or sigh. He definitely had her, but now came the REALLY embarrassing part. In moments, he found himself being smothered in his mom’s arms as she babbled how sorry she was and of course she was proud of him, but he was still not getting any ramen for a month, young man!

“Amazing…” Jiraiya murmured from his prone position on the ground. He was pretty sure his spine was broken since he couldn’t feel his legs, so he didn’t want to try getting up. Fortunately for him, his head was dropped backwards over the rim of the pool at the perfect angle to watch the master at work. “The power of the Guilt Trip no Jutsu is truly invincible.” He’d known he was doing the right thing naming that kid his successor.

†

“You know this doesn’t mean you can just run off with him whenever you want to. I don’t care if he IS your apprentice now, he’s still MY son, and I expect to see him at least as often as you do.” Tsunade poured Jiraiya and herself each a saucer of sake. “And don’t think your punishment is over yet either. I have plenty of plans for you, and I’ll add to them if you push me on this issue.”

“It’d be easier to promise that if you stayed in the same place for more than a couple of months at a time, or agreed to travel with us.” Jiraiya replied, ignoring the further threats with practiced ease – though his neck still felt pretty stiff from the earlier beating, and it was kind of hard to sit with an ice bag placed strategically between his legs.

She bit her lip, and then determinedly downed her drink so she could get herself another, “Sensei wants me to move back here…he’s offered me the position of Godaime, though he hasn’t cleared it with the council yet.”

Jiraiya nodded, “I’m not surprised, and with you as a candidate asking the council is pretty much just a pleasantry. There’s no way they’d disagree. Besides, Sensei’s been trying to retire for over eleven years now, and you’d be good at it.”

“Are you kidding?” she snorted, “It would be a disaster. I’m definitely not cut out for that kind of position, and I’m not all that eager to die. Putting on that hat is a death sentence, and you know it.”

“So, what’s stopping you from just telling him, ‘no’?”

“…I keep thinking about what Naruto would say when he finds out I turned it down. What Dan, or Nawaki would say.”

“Ouch.” He sipped at his drink, “So…when are you going to accept it?”

She shook her head, “I can’t do it, Jiraiya, not yet. Maybe in a few years when the kid makes chuunin and has to hang around here for missions. Maybe I’ll feel better about it if I’m picking where he’s going and what he’s doing. I had to tell Sensei that I’d think about it.”

“I hate to seem like I’m pushing you into something here, but Naruto might be a lot safer here in a village full of loyal ninja than out on the road with us after the stuff I’m hearing about that new Akatsuki organization. Now that he’s getting older and making a name for himself, it’s also only a matter of time until that bastard, Orochimaru learns about him. After what he did with that batch of kids Tenzou was part of, I wouldn’t write off his possible interest in Naruto outside of Akatsuki’s agenda. Even if no one knows about you-know-what right now, it’s going to come out eventually, and if his bloodline isn’t enough to make a target out of him, then THAT definitely will.”

She slammed her saucer down on the table and growled low in her throat, “What do you want me to do, Jiraiya? I won’t lose him like I did Dan and my brother! All I can do is try to keep the world from finding out about the Nine Tails and try to make him strong enough to keep himself safe from everything else.”

“You could start by supporting him instead of trying to drag him kicking and screaming away from here. The kid was meant to be Hokage someday. It’s in his blood. Any fool can see that. If you want my advice, I say give him the necklace – it might help him a little with his plant problems until we can get wind out of the way so he can access the other elemental affinities. You’re only making it harder for him—“

“What are you saying?! I’m not giving my precious son this necklace! It’s cursed!” She stood up, nearly knocking over her chair in agitation.

“IT’S NOT CURSED! You wear it all the time! The position of Hokage isn’t cursed either – look at Sensei! It was WAR Tsunade! People die in wars, and it’s awful, and it hurts and you’ll never really get over it, but at least you HAD people to lose! Stop wallowing in your grief and living for the dead and move on for the sake of the precious people you have that are still alive!” He roared. “They wouldn’t want you to keep on like this. You know they wouldn’t, and they certainly wouldn’t want you to punish Naruto for their sakes. Stop being such a selfish bitch and depriving your son of growing into a man with the support of his village!”

“Jiraiya-“

“No, Tsunade. Not tonight. That boy’s all I have left too. If they knew about his prisoner, it would be one thing, but they don’t, and a ninja needs a village or he’s just a worthless traitorous bastard like Oro-teme!”

She couldn’t meet his eyes at that, and carefully retook her seat. “…You two were always really close…I know it hurt you when he left.” She tentatively reached out and placed one of her hands over his on the table.

“We weren’t as close as I thought we were.” The old man muttered, gratefully accepting the gesture.

“He fooled all of us, Jiraiya, not just you. He betrayed us all.”

“I’ll make you a deal, Tsunade-hime. You try to get over the whole ‘cursed Konoha’ thing, and move on for the sake of Naruto, and I’ll do the same with my issues about that snake faced bastard.”

She was quiet for a moment, her gaze locked on the moon outside of the window. “Okay. Deal.”

“I’m going to hold you to that. Sensei says the next batch of graduates, the ones Naruto should have been schooled with, are going to have uneven numbers for teams if they all make it, and they’ve got a hell of a teacher, so he thinks they will. It would do the kid good to be part of a unit, especially if he ever wants to make chuunin, and if Akatsuki keeps on going like it is, I’m probably going to have to spend a lot more time with my spy network soon. I won’t have enough time to devote to his training then, and it would be too dangerous for him to travel with me - too much potential for them to mark him as a target when he’s not even currently on their radar. If we’re really lucky they’ll never realize the Kyuubi container’s still around if he’s never brought to their attention.”

“I’ll meet you here around the next graduation then, in time to get him put on a team. I’d better still see a lot of him between now and then though, or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Yes, Tsunade-hime!”

“You’d better…and I know it’s important for you to keep up your spy network, but I don’t want you taking Naru-kun anywhere he might be discovered by the Akatsuki.” She threatened.

“I’m not completely stupid, and I care for the brat’s well-being as much as you do!” Jiraiya sniped with a frown, “I’m not going to put him in any danger that can be avoided.”

“Good…because I’ll make what I did to you earlier seem pleasant if anything happens to him on your watch.”

Jiraiya found himself crossing his legs over the sudden increased throbbing in his groin. One didn’t cross Tsunade when she used that tone.

†

That night, Tsunade followed Jiraiya back to the room he was sharing with Naruto and crept in while her teammate was in the bathroom getting ready for sleep. She was as quiet as she could be; even though her son was definitely familiar enough with her presence that her chakra wouldn’t cause him to wake, she didn’t want to risk it.

The past week had really shaken her up and she couldn’t get rid of the urge to just watch him and hug him and coddle him as much as possible, instinctively knowing that she wouldn’t get the chance to do those kinds of things for much longer. She really was proud of the kind of man he was turning into, but she’d loved and been fascinated with everything about him since the first time she’d held him, still bawling and covered in crud after the ordeal of sealing the Kyuubi into him.

There was no doubt in her mind that she’d done the best thing in her life the night she’d spent with Minato – no matter how huge of a mistake it had seemed at the time.

Naruto was her most precious bond. He was her reason for living. She gently pushed a few locks of wild blond hair out of his eyes, and rearranged Ivy so she wasn’t wrapped quite so many times around his neck or twisting his hands together. She couldn’t figure out how he could possibly be comfortable sleeping like that, but maybe he felt comforted by plants as much as they seemed to seek him out for solace? He didn’t have near the nightmares he used to, since he’d gotten Ivy…almost like he felt safer with her.

The moonlight streaming in the window painted him in shades of blue and silver, and she smiled gently down at him before leaning over to drop a kiss on the diamond shaped seal mark on his forehead. He’d grown up so fast, and he wasn’t her little boy anymore – now he was a ninja of Konoha who wouldn’t want his mother slobbering all over him when he was awake.

Before she could think about it some more and change her mind, she carefully removed Shodaime’s necklace from her own throat and fastened it on Naruto’s without waking him. Maybe it was her imagination, but something in him seemed to relax just a little bit more, and Ivy almost appeared to thrum slightly.

She gingerly got up and started to slip out before Jiraiya got back and caught her being all mushy. She’d never live it down…then again, it was a mother’s sacred duty to be as embarrassingly protective and soppy as she wanted to her kids, wasn’t it? Heh, well, it’d serve him right for growing up and drifting away from her if she smothered him all she wanted, whenever she wanted. She’d start first thing in the morning when they went their separate ways at the gates. That would teach the little bastard to grow into a man when her back was turned.

†