Salvation

Chapter 12: Conviction

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Sakura grunted a little as she awoke to the bright, morning sun.  She shifted from the position on her side and her body ached all over.  Her wounds were still pretty bad and her muscles were so sore.

She could feel the swelling on her eye had gone down, but it was badly bruised.  The bruises on her face stung a bit and she knew she had many blue and black marks all over her face.  Being a medic-nin, she knew a few things about how to treat wounds without chakra.  She had taken a cold cloth and placed it over her face for most of the night to help with the swelling.  She made sure she kept checking her wounds, changing the bandages when necessary, and applying cream over all of the cuts.

Sleeping on the ground did nothing for her aching body, as the various items in the dirt dug into her body.  She stayed awake most of the night, thoughts running wild of her encounter yesterday, her few moments with Sasuke alone, and why Sasuke was so tormented over the blood on his arm.

Sakura looked around and saw both Hinata and Naruto asleep still, but no Sasuke.  Her eyes shifted around the area, looking for the ebony-haired boy.  She couldn’t make herself shift her body anymore because the pain was becoming a little much, so she resorted to just using her eyes and ears.

Listening closely, she didn’t hear any movement.  Her eyes continued to scan her surroundings, and then she spotted him.

He was sitting on a branch, high up into a tree, looking out at who knows what.  He didn’t seem to notice she was awake, because he didn’t say anything and he didn’t move.

He must be in deep thought.  He was positioned with his back to her, but she could see a small part of his face.  He looked preoccupied with something and she found herself eager to know what he was thinking.

She felt a small breeze blow through the area, and she watched as some of Sasuke’s hair blew away from him, revealing more of his face.

She noticed his sharp jaw-line, and his perfectly shaped features.  She always thought Sasuke was good-looking when he was a kid, but now, as a man, it was so different.  He was so different, she was so different.  The way she perceived him was different. He still had his boyish good looks, but they were outlined with hints of a man. 

He had seen so much, and even when they were kids, she could always see his torment, but now, he had been through so much more, most of which she would probably never know about.   She wondered about what he really had been doing these last few years and she ached for him to talk to her, to open up, even if just a little.  She wanted to help him; that was all she ever wanted to do.  It almost seemed like that was her purpose in life: to help Sasuke find his.

That thought made her feel alone and ashamed.  She knew that she probably would never succeed.  Sasuke almost seemed beyond reach.  Yeah, but there was a time when I actually thought we would never get him back, and look what happened, you did. 

Sakura smiled a little at that, knowing it was true.  Even though she always had so much hope, she couldn’t doubt that a little part of her thought it would never happen; a part of her was sure Sasuke was gone forever.

And maybe that actually wasn’t a lie, in a way, he was a little gone.  He wasn’t ever going to be the Sasuke he was when they were twelve, but was that a bad thing?  She was questioning herself.  She wasn’t the same, neither was Naruto, and their change was definitely for the better, so why couldn’t she believe that Sasuke’s change would be good as well.  Because, you’re scared; scared that it won’t be a good change, so it’s better to wish he hadn’t changed at all.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” a voice said from above and Sakura jumped.  Breaking from her thoughts, she focused on Sasuke, who now was looking at her.

Sakura quickly looked away, a blush forming on her face.  When had he noticed me?  How long was I staring at him?  She opened her mouth to comment, but words stuck in her throat.  She focused on the dirt ahead of her, trying as hard as she could to rid the red from her cheeks.

She heard Sasuke jump down from the tree, but she still couldn’t look up.  She felt so embarrassed.

“I guess we should get going.  I’ll get our stuff together if you want to wake up Hinata and the dobe,” Sasuke commented and Sakura nodded her head. 

She heard Sasuke messing with his pack, putting everything together.  Sakura forced herself to sit up and grabbed her stomach trying to ease the pain.  Most of the smaller wounds had sealed, but a few of the larger ones were beginning to cause problems.  They had not healed on their own, and they were sure to cause her serious problems if left in that condition.  Just a little bit longer and we’ll have our chakra back.

She noticed out of the corner of her eye that Sasuke had stopped moving a bit, watching her as she shifted.  She couldn’t force herself to meet his eyes, so she concentrated on standing up.  As she finally pulled herself up, she looked up at Sasuke.

He turned his head as she looked at him and Sakura couldn’t help the blush that formed again.  Was he looking at me?  Was he concerned?

She was a little reluctant to wake up Naruto and Hinata.  She knew as soon as she did that her time alone with Sasuke would end.

The silence was killing her so she decided to start a conversation.  “How long have you been up?”

Sakura looked over at Sasuke, who was looking at all the weapons in his pack.  He didn’t look up to her, but shrugged his shoulders.  “I don’t know, a while now,” Sasuke replied and Sakura frowned.  Had he been up all night?

“I thought you said it was essential for us to get some sleep tonight,” Sakura said to him as she shifted her outfit.  Currently she was wearing one of Hinata’s shirts.  It was gray, long-sleeved, and fell a little below her waist.  She was also wearing a pair of Hinata’s black pants.  They were a little baggy on her, but she was dealing with it.  She felt so weird to be in someone else’s clothes.  She was so used to her usual outfit that she felt so out of place. 

“Someone needed to stand watch and I knew the dobe needed to sleep, so did Hinata.  And well, you’re hurt,” Sasuke said, using one of his kunais to motion to Sakura’s various cuts.  “I usually don’t need much sleep anyway.”

Silence prevailed and Sakura tugged on the hem of her shirt, suddenly feeling very shy.  It felt so awkward, and she wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what.

Sakura watched as Sasuke continued to check his weapons while sitting on a large rock.  He had his one leg propped up, using it as a make-shift table to clean his kunais. 

“Sasuke-kun, what was with the blood on your arm?”  Sakura asked, surprised at her courage.

She watched as Sasuke stilled his movements.  He didn’t look at her and Sakura stared at him for a moment.  His eyes seemed to darken and his features clenched.  He was gripping the kunai so tightly in his hand that his knuckles were white.  Sakura suddenly found herself wishing she hadn’t asked him anything.

He continued to sit in silence and just when Sakura was about to say something, Sasuke

spoke. “Are you going to get Hinata and Naruto up, or what?” Sasuke asked, harshly.  He looked up at her and Sakura could feel the anger in his eyes.

Sakura suddenly felt like a little kid under his gaze.  She didn’t know if he was mad at her for asking, or mad at himself for whatever it was that was bothering him.  Sakura didn’t want to risk urging him to tell her so she quickly nodded, and slowly made her way over to Naruto and Hinata.

She shook Hinata first.  Hinata stirred and looked up at Sakura.  “M-morning, Sakura,” Hinata said, rubbing her eyes quickly as she lifted herself off the ground.

“Morning Hinata,” Sakura answered.  “We should be leaving very soon.”

Hinata nodded her head in understanding.  Sakura turned to make her way over to Naruto, but as she moved forward, the cuts on her stomach caused her to wince.  She stopped her movements for a second.

“Sakura, are you okay?”  Hinata asked, laying a hand on Sakura’s back.

Sakura nodded her head.  “Yeah, sorry about that.  The cuts sting sometimes and it catches me off-guard.  Do you think you could wake up Naruto for me?”  Sakura asked.

“Ye-yes, of course!”  Hinata said, as a blush formed on her face.  Sakura smiled and walked back over to Sasuke.  She looked up to see him looking at her again.  She held his eyes for a moment before he looked away, putting all of his weapons back into his pack.

Sakura walked over to a nearby tree and leaned against it.  The bark was rough on her skin, but it helped take the pressure off of her wounds, so she didn’t care too much.

“We’re leaving?” a loud voice boomed and Sakura looked over to see Naruto jumping up, full of energy.

“Not so loud,” Sasuke commented, before standing.  He made his way closer to Sakura and she was happy that he at least granted her the liberty of not having to move while he explained the plan.

Naruto and Hinata walked over and Sakura caught Naruto’s eyes.  She saw that he looked concerned at her condition, but she just smiled at him and he smiled back.

“Alright, here’s the plan.  It’s best that we split up into two teams.  One will be the lookout, while the other team will go inside to retrieve the vial,” Sasuke said.

They all nodded their head, agreeing with the plan.

“So, who’s going with who?”  Naruto commented.

“Me and Naruto will go in and grab the vial while you two stand guard,” Sasuke said and Sakura immediately shook her head.

“No, I’m going in too.  I told you, this is something I have to do!”  Sakura said, turning to meet Sasuke’s eyes.

“No, it’s too dangerous and you’re too weak,” Sasuke commented and Sakura fumed.

“I’m not weak, and I don’t care what you say, I’m going.  I didn’t come here to stand guard, I came here to get my life back,” Sakura said.  Sasuke was about to talk, but Sakura stopped him.  “Look, what good would I do on watch?  The purpose of the lookout is to make sure no one spots the people inside.  If it’s me and Hinata, I won’t be able to help her if the situation arises that we have to fight and take down an enemy quickly so we won’t be spotted.  It’s only reasonable for me to go inside since the people inside will be less likely to have to fight.”

Sasuke didn’t say anything and Sakura could tell he was seriously considering it.

“Fine.  Sakura, you’ll come with me.  Naruto and Hinata, you two will stand guard,” Sasuke said and Naruto looked up.

“Why do you get to go inside?”  Naruto asked.

“Because, I know Orochimaru better than all of you,” Sasuke said and they all looked at Sasuke.  They could see that that statement went far deeper than just surface level.  Sasuke-kun, what did you go through?

“Alright, the plan sounds good.  Let’s go,” Sakura said.  She pushed herself off of the tree and began walking forward, toward their destination.  She felt Sasuke just beside her, while Naruto and Hinata followed behind.  Sakura gripped her stomach a little harder.  The wounds were really starting to hurt her, but she had to fight off the pain.

“Sakura,” Sasuke said and Sakura looked over to him.  He was looking at her oddly and she began to feel shy again.

“Yes,” she said.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Sasuke asked, looking her over.  “Your wounds…,” he trailed off.

Sakura looked at Sasuke and smiled.  “Yes, I know I can, because I have to get my chakra back.”

“Why…,” Sasuke started to say, looking at the ground.  “Why are you so determined to get your chakra back?  I mean, you could live a normal life, free of danger, and you wouldn’t have to feel guilty for it.  You gave up your chakra for someone else, and while I know most people despise me, I’m sure they wouldn’t look down on you for it.”

Sakura was a bit shocked.  She hadn’t heard Sasuke say this much at one time ever.  And here it was, in what could be seen as some kind of concern for her.

Sakura caught Sasuke’s eyes and smiled again.  “You’re probably right, but I couldn’t live with that.  Especially if I knew that there was a way for me to be kunoichi again.  As much as you may not think it, Sasuke-kun, I’m meant to be a ninja,” Sakura said to him.

“That’s not…,” Sasuke started to say, but stopped himself.

“I’m not completely useless, and when I get these wounds healed, I’ll prove it to you,” Sakura said.

“Well, when we get the vial, you’ll at least be able to heal yourself,” Sasuke commented and Sakura shook her head.

“No, Sasuke-kun, I’m not doing this so I can heal myself, it’s so I can heal others.  It’s who I am; it’s who I’ve always been.  I can’t change that, and to be frank, I really don’t want to,” Sakura said to him.  She looked into his eyes and smiled again.  “And besides, there’s someone who I want to save more than myself, and I’ll do anything to reach that goal.”

Sakura didn’t elaborate and Sasuke didn’t ask her too, but Sakura thought it was pretty obvious who she was talking to.  She was happy with herself for being so bold and she walked forward with a little more grace and her head held a little higher.

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“Naruto, Hinata, you two wait here.  Take down anyone that you feel is suspicious.  We’ll meet you back here in one hour.  If we’re not back by then, assume things went wrong and head back to where we camped last night,” Sasuke told them in a matter-of-fact tone.  Sakura wasn’t surprised that Sasuke had fallen into the leadership role.  She always knew he was one to give orders, rather than take them.  What did surprise her was the fact that he seemed so composed within the role, as if he had done this a million times before. 

“Why can’t we come in to find you if you don’t show up?”  Naruto questioned.

“Because, it’s too risky with that many people inside.  It would be best for you two to get away then all four of us get caught,” Sasuke explained.  Naruto was about to speak again when Sakura interrupted.

“Sasuke-kun’s right,” Sakura said and Naruto turned to meet her eyes.  He seemed a bit disheartened about the fact that Sakura seemed to follow Sasuke’s lead, but she knew what Sasuke said was right.  They shouldn’t take the chance of them all getting caught.  “Besides, if something happens, you will be free to go and alert Konoha.  You wouldn’t be able to do that if you were taken with us.”

“What makes you so sure that they’ll take you rather than kill you on sight?”  Naruto questioned, his eyes full of concern.

“Because, Orochimaru still needs me,” Sasuke answered, looking down at the ground.

“And Sakura-chan?”  Naruto asked.

Sasuke didn’t speak for a few minutes, before looking up.  He shoved a few of his bangs from his face, before meeting Naruto’s questioning gaze.

“Well, let’s just say that there aren’t many women in sound, and a lot of hormonal men,” Sasuke explained and Sakura’s eyes widened.

She understood completely what he meant by that statement, and apparently so did Naruto and Hinata.  Hinata looked shocked while Naruto’s face filled with anger.

“Teme, you would put her in that position?”  Naruto shouted, his fists clenched by his sides.  Suddenly he shot toward Sasuke, grabbing part of his clothes, slamming his back into a nearby tree.  “Some things are worse than death!”

Sakura watched the scene in front of her.  She knew Naruto was protective, but not that protective.  Sasuke just glared at Naruto before shoving him off.

“You should know by now I would never let something like that happen,” Sasuke said through clenched teeth.  Sakura’s eyes stared at Sasuke.  She couldn’t believe he had actually said that.

Sakura looked back to Naruto who also had a look of shock on his face.  Sasuke and Naruto both stared at each other for a few minutes and Sakura could feel the tension in the air.

Sakura didn’t know what to do.  She wanted to say something to ease the tension but words escaped her.  Then, Naruto did something that shocked her completely.

Naruto nodded his head.  “Alright, we’ll meet you here in an hour,” Naruto said.  Sakura looked over and met his eyes.  They showed concern, but understanding.  Sakura could tell in his eyes, even though he would never admit it, that he knew Sasuke would never let anything happen to her if he could help it.

“Be careful you two,” Sakura said, hugging Hinata.  She turned to Naruto and gave him a long hug.  As they were embraced, Naruto leaned over and whispered into her ear.  “One hour,” he said and Sakura nodded against his shoulder.

Sakura stepped away and turned to Sasuke.  He was looking at them with an odd expression, but it disappeared quickly.  Sasuke motioned his head for them to get going and he turned and started walking away.  Sakura quickly followed without looking back.

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Sasuke softly stepped up to the door that would lead them into Orochimaru’s hideout.  The new lair looked like an old farm house, but Sasuke knew differently.  Inside would be some of the worse things that a person could ever be forced to see.

He could feel Sakura right behind him and he turned to her.

“Sakura, be prepared for this, and I don’t mean physically.  You’re going to see some disturbing things,” Sasuke told her and Sakura nodded her head.

Sasuke considered leaving her there.  He could get in and out quickly if he didn’t have to watch out for her, but he knew it would be futile.  She was dead-set on helping out, and he couldn’t blame her.  If the roles were reversed he would be just as stubborn as Sakura.

He wasn’t lying earlier when he told him about the sound ninjas and what they would do to Sakura.  He had seen many, many things while in sound, and one of those was the constant rape and torture of people.  And yes, he did mean people, as in both men and women.

He had been appalled when he first found out what the men around him were doing. 

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FLASHBACK

He was walking down the hallway, minding his own business.  He had been in sound only a few weeks so far.  He had decided to train late that night, and was walking back to his room, exhausted.

Suddenly, he heard a woman screaming.  He ran toward the sound, running into a large room at the end of the hall.

What he saw inside almost made him vomit.   A young woman was chained to the wall, naked.  She was covered in blood.  Sasuke could see many different stab wounds over her body.  He could see the teeth marks on her neck and forearms.

Standing in front of her were two sound ninjas.  One of them was holding a knife up to, ready to stab her again.   The other was standing in front of her, his pants around his ankles, grunting loudly as he pounded into the helpless woman.

Sasuke looked up to the woman’s face and immediately wished he hadn’t.  Her face was horror-stricken and in obvious pain.  She was crying profusely and screaming for the men to stop.

The one holding the knife turned to acknowledge him.  Sasuke glared at him and the man just smiled.  “Come to join the fun?”  the man said and Sasuke continued to glare.  He was about to attack the man, when suddenly the man appeared in front of him.

“Don’t even think about it, boy,” the sound-nin said, before striking Sasuke in the gut, sending him flying into the wall opposite the room.

Sasuke fell to the floor and coughed up blood.  He looked up with blurry eyes and saw the man standing in the doorway.

“I know who you are, and I really don’t know why Orochimaru chose you.  You’re pathetic and weak,” the man sneered.  “And get used to stuff like this.   You’ll be seeing a lot of it.  Who knows, maybe you yourself will get a few late night visitors.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened at the man.  The man smirked and slammed the door shut.  The screams continued and Sasuke couldn’t take it anymore.  He jumped up and ran to his room.  He opened his door and locked it behind him.  He fell to his knees and vomited right then and there.

END FLASHBACK

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Even though he had seen so much, he hadn’t seen torture like that before.  He was only twelve year old boy, and the scene had haunted him.  The man’s words had haunted him.

From then on, Sasuke was very cautious.  He continued to look over his shoulder, locking the door to his room every night.

He heard the screams, he heard the cries, but he had ignored them.  Even though it killed him a little inside to do that, he knew there wasn’t another choice, at least not until he got stronger.

There were a few times when people would proposition him, but as he grew stronger, he was able to fend them off a little more each time.  It didn’t take long for everyone to stop bothering him altogether, but that didn’t mean they stopped with other people.

He thought he would get used to it as time passed, but he never did.  Each scream and cry pierced his soul just as much as it did that first night.  He did, however, find the ability to ignore it, feeling it wasn’t his business.

And that’s exactly what he did.  When the situation would occur, he would walk to his room, lock his door, and drown out all the sounds he heard during his stay in that disgusting village.

Sasuke snapped from his thoughts when Sakura stepped up beside him.  He looked at her, studying her innocent eyes and caring face, and he knew he could never let something like that happen to her.

He thought about it being her in the situation of that woman so long ago.  Tear-stained and soaked in blood, being raped by a couple of sickening sound ninjas.  The thought brought rage through his veins.  He would never let Sakura get tainted like that.  She had come so close earlier, and that incident still irked him.  He was almost too late, and in his mind, that was too close for comfort.  He couldn’t let that happen again, he wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Sakura, stay close to me,” Sasuke told her and Sakura turned to meet his eyes.

“I will, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura said in that sweet voice of hers, and Sasuke’s conviction only hardened.  We’re going to get in and out quickly, nothing is going to happen.  Sasuke had to keep telling himself that.

Sasuke felt someone grab his hand, and he looked down to see Sakura’s hand loosely holding his.  He stared at the hands for a moment, before looking up.

He caught Sakura’s eyes and he felt an unknown emotion flow through him.  He was about to release her hand, suddenly feeling vulnerable and exposed under her gaze, but Sakura gripped his hand tighter.

She looked at him with two bright, emerald eyes and Sasuke didn’t mind anymore that they were holding hands.

He needed the comfort of her being there.  He couldn’t let anything happen to her, and he wanted to know she was still there.  Even though this wasn’t the exact place he had spent the last three years, it still contained the same vile people with the same disgusting thoughts.  The thought of Orochimaru brought up so many bad memories; he couldn’t let them taint Sakura.

“Come on,” he said, pulling the door open.  The two slipped inside the darkness quietly, their two hands still entwined.