Shikamaru inwardly sighed as he hurried toward their meeting spot. He could see that Ino was still there. It wasn’t too late. If it was meeting with anyone else or for any other purpose, he probably wouldn’t even have showed up- he was already 40 minutes late, so it wouldn’t have mattered, as either way the other person would’ve been pissed at him. But he knew. This was nothing like those situations.
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When he’d gotten the letter, he was shocked. Weariness from the mission was the last thing on his mind as he showered after he got home and read the letter. Ino’s words lingered in his thoughts. It gave him a dilemma he couldn’t shake, a choice he couldn’t make. Could he handle this? He had no idea. He didn’t want to cause any more misery to anyone. But he couldn’t take it back. He could seriously hurt Ino if he rejected her- a lot more than the pain it caused her when Sasuke left, for this was not some longtime crush- it was far more serious than that. But he could still hurt her if he accepted and did the wrong thing. What was he to do? Doubts clouded his mind. He had no control over the situation. He couldn’t just sit down, and plan everything out, because from what he knew, there were a lot of unpredictable factors involved when it came to something like this.
Drying himself off and exiting the bathroom, Shikamaru went back to his room, and lay himself down. He was about to doze off when he heard something hitting his window.
Standing up and opening the window, he caught a pebble that was thrown in his direction. Looking down, he saw his portly friend looking back at him.
“Hey, Shikamaru,” Chouji called out. “Want to go eat lunch with me?”
Shikamaru looked at the clock. It read 1:20 P.M.
“Sure.” He answered. “I’ll be right down.”
Dressing himself as quickly as he was able, Shikamaru got out of the house. In minutes the two friends were strolling through the streets of Konoha. Chouji didn’t need to say where they were headed- Shikamaru probably already had a good idea.
“Say, have you noticed the way Ino’s acting lately?” Chouji spoke.
Shikamaru blinked, coming out of his stupor. “Huh? No, not much.” He lied.
“Well, it’s like she’s not really herself. She’s been awfully quiet, like something’s bothering her.” Chouji mused.
“Well, whatever it is, I doubt she’d like to tell us.” Shikamaru replied. Chouji had no idea that, in fact, Ino had told Shikamaru already, or that it was Shikamaru who brought up everything in the first place.
“Um… I guess.” Chouji shrugged. “Do you think we should let her figure it out on her own?”
“Maybe.” Shikamaru sighed. “You know what it’s like with her. She gets frustrated over nothing in particular, and her mood swings around once in a while, but soon she’s back to normal like it never happened.”
“Yeah…” Chouji nodded.
‘And yet, that can really grow on a person.’ Shikamaru thought. ‘It’s like you can see it coming after a while. Makes things that much nicer, though. Without her mood swings and flamboyant attitude around, life would be that much more boring and troublesome.’
His thoughts quickly turned back to Ino. ‘I don’t know… maybe it’s just a phase like I said. Maybe soon she’ll change her mind about this, and tell me that it’s just our feelings getting the best of us.
‘Well, if that’s the case, I shouldn’t have broken up with Temari. But it’s over and done with. Come to think of it, I had a point… it sure isn’t easy if your girlfriend lives far away. She does need someone closer to her. But still, why did everything have to be so hard on her? I just hope she’s feeling better now…’
“We’re here.” Chouji’s words snapped him out of his thoughts again, and the two walked into the barbeque joint Chouji frequented.
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Shikamaru made his mind wander for the duration of the meal, eating slowly while his eyes barely kept track of how much Chouji had downed. The guy was a smart eater- he started with the lean stuff, and then moved on to the heavier, greasier dishes. He saved most of his stomach for food, opting to drink only a bare minimum amount of soda. Shikamaru’s attention was far from Chouji’s eating habits (which he knew quite well), though. The thoughts of 2 blondes made him look up blankly at the sky through the restaurant window, the clear, blue sky absorbing his conscious.
What was he supposed to do? He felt like taking Ino by the hand and never letting go, but he wasn’t an impulsive type of person. His reason was juxtaposed against his emotions- in other words, his brain was fighting his heart. To make matters worse, his heart was in a state of civil war, torn between confidence and doubt in his feelings. With the strength of his heart thus divided, his brain had the upper hand, though the decisive battle was yet to be fought. In such an inner deadlock, outside help would be needed for resolution. So, as Chouji moved on to dessert, Shikamaru broke the silence.
“Hey, Chouji…” He started.
“Huh? What is it?” Chouji looked up, swallowing all the while.
“I need your help.”
“Okay. On what?”
“Let’s just say I really like this person, okay?” Shikamaru sighed.
“Go on.” Chouji’s mind left the food in front of him, piqued.
“And I wanted to get with this person.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But I’m having doubts because I still care about my old girlfriend.”
“Shikamaru, is this about Ino?”
“What?” Shikamaru blurted out, putting on a look of incredulity. “No.”
“All right.” Chouji gave a faint nod. He was pretty sure it was about Ino, but did not press the subject any further, knowing that his friend wouldn’t have liked to talk about it.
“And this person says she likes me.”
“Okay.”
“And I can’t decide on what to do.” Shikamaru concluded.
“I see.” Chouji finished up as the bill came. Wiping his mouth with a paper napkin, he continued, “Look, Shikamaru, if I could help you decide, I’d definitely do that. But things like this, you got to decide by yourself. This is your choice. I will tell you one thing, though: go with your guts.”
“I see.” Shikamaru combed his fingers through his hair. “Thanks.”
The two paid for the meal, and left the restaurant.
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After he and Chouji parted ways, Shikamaru went to his usual cloud-watching spot. He was lost in contemplation again until someone dropped by, saying he needed to go to the mission room.
“What for?” He asked the messenger.
“I don’t know.” The man replied. “Probably another assignment or something.”
‘This is just great. Now we’re getting missions back to back. What a drag. But then again, what can you expect after you have a long break like the one we just had?’ Shikamaru thought.
“All right.” He got up. “I’ll be right there.”
Sauntering slowly through the streets, he arrived at the Hokage tower, heading into the mission room. He immediately noticed the senbon-chewing figure seated at the extreme left of the table, looking in his direction.
“What is it, Genma-san?” Shikamaru walked up to him.
“Shikamaru, there was an accident in here this morning. Your mission report… was irreparably damaged. I’m afraid you’ll have to re-file everything.”
‘Tch, how troublesome.’ Shikamaru thought. “All right… Give me another form.” He sighed, concealing his displeasure.
Genma slid a blank mission report form to Shikamaru across the desk.
“Use the meeting room if you like.” He told him.
“Thanks.” Shikamaru parted as he left, entering the meeting room through the side door.
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It was quite late in the afternoon by the time Shikamaru managed to re-file everything. After handing in the report and relieving himself in the bathroom, he promptly left the Hokage tower. By then, the sun was pretty low in the sky, and Shikamaru felt his stomach rumble. He needed to head home for dinner.
His mind went back to his own troubles, and he continued contemplating as he got home. He absent-mindedly sat down at the table when his mom jolted him out of his thoughts with her booming voice.
“Shikamaru!” She called out. “Don’t just sit there, help me set the table!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “I’m on it, mom!” He replied, going into the kitchen to help her.
In a few minutes, the two were done, and, as if on cue, Shikamaru’s dad walked through the door.
“About time you got home!” Yoshino commented, sarcasm evident in her voice.
“Yeah… friends got me distracted for a while.” Shikaku replied nonchalantly.
As the three ate, Shikamaru was lost in thought again.
‘Hmm… maybe I should ask Dad?’ He furrowed his brows.
“Shikamaru, have you quit smoking yet?” His mom questioned, bringing him back to this world again.
“Yeah…” Shikamaru nodded.
“That’s good.” Yoshino continued. “Honestly, the smoke was really getting to me.”
The meal continued on in silence.
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After everyone finished, Shikamaru did the dishes. When he was finally done, he went to talk to his dad, who he found sitting on the back porch, looking into the family gardens.
“Dad…?” Shikamaru walked up behind him.
“What is it, son?” He answered, all the while still looking at the garden.
After a moment of silence, Shikamaru started again. “Why did love have to be such a troublesome thing?” He asked.
“Hmm…” Shikaku did not answer right away. Instead, he pointed to the chair next to him. “Sit down, Shikamaru.” He told him.
Shikamaru did as he was told, looking into the gardens like his father. The sun was already setting, and its dimming light washed everything in a shade of burgundy.
“You know, love’s a strange thing.” Shikaku spoke. “It’s like… this garden, in a way.”
“How?” Shikamaru inquired.
“Well, to make a garden look like this, you have to put a lot of work into it.” His father replied. “As you said, it’s a troublesome thing. It takes time to put a garden up.”
Shikamaru nodded silently in agreement.
“But then again, one day, when you’re sitting down in front of it, and looking at it, you realize, ‘well, this was all worth it,’ you know? Takes all you got to make something as beautiful as this, but the reward is well worth all the time and effort you put into it.” Shikaku continued. “Love’s like the same thing.”
“But…” Shikamaru asked again after a moment of hesitation. “What if you’re not sure if it’s love or not?”
“I guess it’s really up to you, then.” His dad answered as he got up to go back inside. “You’ll have to decide for yourself.”
‘Hmm…’ Shikamaru contemplated again, going over his father’s words in his mind.
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He laid himself on the roof of the house, gazing up at the stars that had barely begun to appear as the deep indigo of the night gradually replaced the crimson afterglow. The daytime heat had dissipated, and a few clouds were beginning to drift lazily through the sky.
‘Oh, how I envy you so.’ Shikamaru thought. ‘You never have to be in a situation like mine. Always drifting without a care in the world.’
His mind wandered again to what his father told him. Nobody could help him in the problem he faced. It was all up to him. But how could he decide? He was afraid he’d hurt Ino if he said yes to her, but found out that what he felt wasn’t real. At the same time, he knew he’d hurt her all the same if he let her down. Again, being caught in an unsolvable dilemma.
‘Maybe I should just let her down.’ Shikamaru weighed his choices. ‘If I did it now, it’ll hurt less than when I let her down later. Either way, I’ll break her heart, but if I did it now, she can still pick up the pieces. If I do it later, there’d be no pieces left for her to pick up. The lesser of two evils, right?’
Still, he was indecisive. He couldn’t bear the thought of breaking her heart. Not willing to mull over the consequences of either choice any further, he turned his mind back to what his dad said to him.
‘Garden. Love’s like a garden.’ Shikamaru mused. ‘Gardens take time putting up. Gardens need effort. But then, to put up a garden needs determination and planning, both of which I don’t have at the moment. So what am I supposed to do?’
He went over his dad’s words again and again. ‘Some help you are, Dad.’ He thought, almost giving up.
‘Wait a minute.’ He was suddenly struck with a possibility he hadn’t thought of before. ‘Did he actually plan the garden out?’
Bolting up and jumping off of the roof, he dashed into the house. “Dad!” He yelled urgently, looking for his father. He almost bumped into his mom as he rounded a corner.
“Slow down, Shikamaru!” She reprimanded him.
“Sorry mom.” He replied as he kept going. “Do you know where Dad is?”
“Probably at his desk in the study.” She answered. “Now, slow down before you twist an ankle or something!”
Shikamaru dashed up the stairs. “Dad!” He called out, opening the door to the study.
“What is it?” His father looked up from his work on the desk.
“Did you guys actually plan out the garden or something?” Shikamaru inquired.
His father faced him. “Well, we did, sort of.” He started.
Shikamaru almost felt crestfallen at his answer, but kept on. “Sort of?” He continued.
“Well, I remember when I was young, and your grandpa and grandma would be working out the garden. Then, when they passed away, I kept working on the garden according to their plan, but then I noticed it wouldn’t work out. Besides, your mom changed her mind about it a few times, and we finally settled on a plan around the time you were born. After that, we just had to keep everything in order, and put the right plants in.” His father recounted.
“Thanks, Dad!” Shikamaru left the room, and dashed out of the house.
“Mom, I’m going!” He called out as he left.
“Where are you going, Shikamaru?” His mother asked.
“I got to meet someone!” Shikamaru yelled, dashing down the street and leaping onto rooftops all the while.
Yoshino shook her head as her son disappeared from view. “That boy of mine… what’s gotten into him recently?” She sighed.
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Shikamaru dashed along, looking down to check his watch. It read 8:35.
‘Damn it, I’m really late!’ He thought. Just then, due to the fact that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, he didn’t quite land right. He felt his ankle twist, and his body met the concrete ceiling the very next instant.
‘Crap… now I can’t go that fast anymore.’
But he’d have to get there for sure. Even if Ino would be mad at him. Because he’d realized something. Standing up, he continued on, his ankle troubling him as he tried to go as fast as he could.
His dad didn’t quite have a set plan for the garden. Then, if love was like a garden, he didn’t need to plan everything out. He’d just have to give it a try. He remembered what Chouji said to him- go with your guts. Shikamaru thanked the higher powers for giving him such a good friend, and for giving him such a wise father.
It was thus that he arrived at the training grounds so late, doing his best not to limp. As he went up the hill, he could see Ino standing there, looking at him.
“Shikamaru…” She blinked as he came up to her.
“Ino,” Shikamaru looked into her eyes, a rare look of singular determination entering his gaze. “I’ve made my decision.”
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Chapter notes: Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Whew, finally done with the second chapter! This took a long time to write, and it's pretty long, but it was well worth it. Enjoy!
Also, I'd like to send a big shout-out to Millie for her outstanding contributions to our series. I couldn't have done this without your support!