While Kumogakure offered a refreshing change of surroundings, I didn’t miss Konoha’s sunshine and abundance of foliage when we finally returned home. Upon arrival, the genin went their separate ways while the jounin went to go report to Tsunade-sama. Since we had the next five days off, I went towards the library the next morning in search of something that could tell me about the mark on my back. Of course, there was nothing that pointed me in the right direction. I should have known, but there was never any harm in checking anyway.
My next stop was to visit Tsunade-sama. I figured she might know something, considering how old— err, how much life experience she had. There was also the whole thing about the voice that spoke to me, but in that case… I had a pressing feeling that I already knew what it was about, but I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t just in over my head.
“Tsunade-sama?” I called as I knocked on her office door, hoping that I wasn’t interrupting anything important. “It’s Riku.”
“Come in.”
After closing the door behind me, I greeted the Hokage and Shizune-san, as well as Tonton, with a short bow before getting straight to business.
“There was something I wanted to ask you about.” When I said this, it seemed like she already knew what I was here for. She remained silent, though, so I went ahead and brought up my concerns. “I recently discovered a sort of marking on my back; one that looks like a spiral.”
“I believe Asuma mentioned something like that in his report, yes.” She nodded while getting up from her seat. “Is it alright if I take a look?” I nodded, though I was pretty sure I didn’t actually have a choice in the matter.
I pulled off my jacket and shirt so she could get a clear view of the thing. For a few moments of silence, Tsunade-sama simply observed it before pressing two fingers against it. There was a slight tingling sensation – I think she was trying to channel her chakra into it – but nothing happened. What took me by surprise was when she suddenly performed a few hand seals and pressed the palm of her hand against it.
Suddenly, my shoulder throbbed violently and I heard Tsunade-sama stumble back. I tensed up in shock before spinning around to see if she was alright.
“Tsunade-sama!” Shizune-san gasped, rushing forward as Tonton squealed. “Are you alright?”
“Sorry, I didn’t know—”
Stabling herself, the Hokage held up her hand and shook her head. “Calm down, you two. I’m fine.” She snapped with a sigh.
“What happened?” I asked, subconsciously reaching back to grip my shoulder.
“This is definitely…unexpected, that’s for sure.” She murmured while walking up to me again. “I already suspected that this seal is unique to your clan, but the chakra used to seal it… It’s far too similar to Naruto’s to be a mere coincidence.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, pulling my clothes back on. “You don’t mean I’m…related to him or something, do you?”
Tsunade-sama choked back a laugh as she quickly waved her hand, thankfully telling me that that wasn’t the case. “Don’t even joke about that kind of stuff.” She said before getting back on track. “What I mean is, the chakra I’m sensing is almost identical to his red chakra’s wavelength.”
“You don’t mean…” Shizune-san murmured, giving me a surprised look.
The Hokage simply nodded, however, before looking back at me.
“Looks like we finally figured out what the Yonbi was sealed into.”
I stayed for a while longer to explain the sort of experiences I’ve had lately, like the dreams of my village getting attacked and the time I heard a voice telling me what to do during the second part of the Chuunin Exams. I mentioned that it also probably explained how I wound up in Naruto’s subconscious and met the Kyuubi. Don’t get me wrong – me being the vessel of the Yonbi was something I had considered before. It just wasn’t something I wanted to end up being the truth, but on the other hand, it was reassuring to know that the voice and those dreams weren’t because I was losing it or anything.
“Does Asuma know about any of this yet?” Tsunade-sama asked once I was done.
I shrugged. “I mentioned the voice and feeling like I was being controlled to both Asuma-sensei and Kakashi-sensei, though I’m not sure if they came to the same conclusion. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have an idea of what’s going on, though, because of experiences with Naruto.”
“I figured as much.” She said. “We’ll have to let the other Hidden Villages know about this. Having another jinchuuriki is a big deal. It disrupts the balance the villages have in terms of the distribution of the bijuu.” Furrowing her brows, Tsunade-sama sighed. “I don’t really want to have to inform them, but if we keep this information hidden and have them find out on their own later on, they might think that we were hiding you as a war asset, which is the last thing we need right now.”
“First they find out I’m a Shurikane, and now this.” I sighed. I was beginning to understand why Tsunade-sama frequented the bars so often. This was starting to give me a headache.
“Better sooner than later.” Tsunade-sama responded. “Anyway, leave the rest of it to me and the council. You just take care of yourself.”
“Well, however things play out, it seems like the shinobi world is in for a shock. Another one, anyway.” I said before bowing deeply. “Thanks for your help, Tsunade-sama.”
“One last thing.” She called, stopping me from leaving right away. “The seal is what’s keeping the Yonbi locked away, but it’s also sealing something else, though I’m not sure what. Be careful with it.”
My time after that was spent running into and speaking with a few shinobi, the first of them being Naruto, the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi himself.
“Yo, Riku!” He called, being the one to spot me first. “How’s your shoulder feeling?”
“Good enough to beat you up.” I answered jokingly, to which he responded with his usual cheerfulness. “Oh, while you’re here, I wanted to ask you something.”
“I’m all ears!” He seemed incredibly happy that I said that. Now that I thought about it, though, I suppose not a lot of people would go to Naruto if they had any questions, but I couldn’t really go to anybody else for what I wanted to ask.
“About the Kyuubi,” I started in a lower voice as sat down on a bench around the corner, “have you ever been ‘influenced’ by it before?”
Squinting his eyes in thought, he rested his arms behind his head as he thought about it. “Hmm…You mean like being controlled?” I nodded. “I think so, yeah. Sometimes the Kyuubi does his own thing in tough situations. It’s almost like I’m asleep, and when I come back to my senses, I don’t remember much of what I did. Well, what the Kyuubi did. It kind of feels like a dream.”
Although it was vague, it sounded similar to my experience during the Chuunin Exams, which was reassuring. At least I knew something wasn’t wrong with me.
“What about that place I was in during the Exams? It was your subconscious or something, right?”
“Oh yeah. I still have no idea how you ended up there. Weird, haha!” He laughed, not thinking too much on the oddity of it all. “I guess that’s where Kyuubi…lives? I don’t know, but sometimes when he talks to me, or when I talk to him, I end up there, in my head.”
I remembered how meeting the Kyuubi reminded me of the time the Yonbi spoke to me in my dreams during one of the first few nights that I arrived in Konoha. Back then, I really did think it was a dream, but it was obvious now that it was very real. I wondered if I could also contact Yonbi that way, and if my subconscious would look the same, or if I could even access it like Naruto could at all.
“So, why’re you asking this kind of stuff, Riku?” Naruto asked curiously, giving me a bit of a suspicious look. "You aren’t trying to dissect my brain, are you?”
“Are you stupid?” I responded flatly, knocking him on the head. “I’m guess I’m just curious. It was an interesting experience, being in your head and all. Besides, it sure did save my ass. Well, my legs, to be more specific, so thanks for that.”
“No problem! You can always come to me if you need any help” I got the feeling that the blond sensed that there was more too it, but I was lucky he was the kind of person who lost interest pretty quickly with these sorts of things. “I was going to grab a bowl of ramen from Ichiraku’s. Wanna join me?”
Shaking my head, I stood up and brushed myself off. “I have some other things to take care of, but thanks for the offer. Enjoy yourself.”
“Bye, Riku!”
After giving him a brief wave, I turned and went on my way again. This time, my business was in a part of the village I had never visited yet.
The sun was starting to set, but I still had time to make a stop at the Yamanaka Flower Shop, where I was greeted by my teammate.
“Riku!” Ino called, skipping over to me from behind the counter. “What brings you here? Looking for something to decorate your place with?”
“Not this time.” I answered, shaking my head. “I’m just here for some white carnations.”
Her upbeat nature quickly became sullen as she gave me a worried look. “Why do you need those? Is everybody okay?” I didn’t expect her to be so concerned, since I was pretty sure I didn’t look visibly upset or mournful. Then again, asking for funeral flowers warranted that kind of response.
“Calm down, everything’s fine.” I reassured with a faint smile. “I wanted to check out a place in the village, and I thought I should bring something out of respect. Feels weird to go empty-handed.”
Although Ino still gave me a concerned look, she huffed and went to get the flowers while I followed. “Fine, I won’t pry, but if something really does happen, you shouldn’t hide it, okay? And don’t look so scary when you ask for these kinds of things! Of course I’ll get worried!” She scolded, pinching my nose like a mother scolding a child.
“My bad.” I responded sheepishly before paying for the flowers. “Thanks. You guys really do take care of your flowers. Maybe I’ll come back later for decorative ones after all.”
“You’d better! I won’t go easy on you if I find out you bought flowers from anywhere else, you hear me?” She threatened jokingly while handing the small bouquet over to me. “Oh, right. We have training tomorrow. Is your shoulder alright?”
“It’s fine.” I answered with a nod before waving her goodbye. “See you tomorrow, then.”
Since I had never been there before, it took me a while to find the area, but eventually, I looked up to see the gate that separated this part of the village from the rest. Without a word, I set the flowers down by one of the gate posts before looking into the area, wondering if I should go in or not.
“What are you doing here?” A low voice suddenly asked from behind. I spun around and wasn’t surprised to see Sasuke, though I can’t say I was particularly expecting him to show up, either.
“I wanted to take a look around.” I answered honestly before glancing back at the gate. “It’s not off-limits, is it? Is it alright if I go in?”
“You don’t have to ask my permission.” He answered curtly. “Do whatever you want.”
Sasuke started to leave, “Hold on,” but I called out to him before he got too far. “You won’t show me around?” I asked somewhat jokingly. “I figure you’d be the best person to ask about the Uchiha Compound.”
Stopping in his tracks, he gave me an irritated look. “I’ll ask you one more time.” He said with a glare that made me wonder if the whole ordeal was still too sensitive a subject to keep pressing on. “What are you doing here?” This time, he was more interrogative about it. I didn’t have anything to hide, so I gave him my answer.
“I’m still missing a lot of my memories. It’s not the best thing to be able to relate to, but…” I started while turning to face the compound’s entrance, “…You can’t deny our situations are pretty similar. I thought maybe this place would remind me of my own clan – trigger a memory or two, maybe. If you don’t want me around here, though, I’d understand. To a degree, anyway.”
There was a moment of silence before I heard Sasuke move, though a bit to my surprise, he went towards the compound. For a few steps, I just watched him go ahead until he reached the gate. He paused and saw the flowers. A moment of silent passed before he looked back at me with his usual irritated expression.
“Don’t fall behind.”
“Oh, uh, yeah.” I stammered before catching up to him. I opened my mouth to thank him, but it felt like I shouldn’t bother. Something told he me would just glare at me again.
As he led me further into the compound, I looked around, reading faded signs and wondering what the place used to be like before the massacre. I could only imagine his clan mates filling the streets and buildings, much like how I would try to picture the same for the remnants of my village. All I had were hazy visions from a few dreams. I wondered what his memories were like.
Eventually, Sasuke came to a stop. I stood next to him and looked at the building in front of us. The look in his eyes gave me the feeling that he was remembering something, so I kept my mouth shut for a while, simply looking at the empty building.
Just then, something in my head throbbed, and I saw a flash of my own former house.
“…What’s this building?”
“The house I grew up in.” He answered flatly. I wanted to ask why he led me here in particular, but decided it was still better to just keep my mouth shut. It was probably because he didn’t really have anything else to show me, anyway. “Are you done yet? Don’t take up too much of my time.”
“Sorry, nothing’s really clicking.” At least, not completely, but there was something about this building that reminded me of my own. “…Can I go inside?”
The Uchiha shot me a look before looking away, disinterested. “Don’t touch anything.”
I nodded and slipped my sandals off before heading inside.
It was a pretty standard house, with tatami mats and hardwood floors, which was what my house was like. That was probably why I was being reminded of it.
There was a kitchen with a door that led to what appeared to be the dining room, what with the floor table and cushions. There was a staircase that led to the second floor, so after giving the first floor another look, I quietly made my way upstairs.
As I walked by the doors, I carefully opened them, cringing when a few insects scurried across the floor as I walked around. Most of them were bedrooms with not much left in them. Standard bedroom furniture, for the most part, with some clothes, bed sheets, books, and other things that didn’t really stick out to me, and nothing that reminded me of anything.
The next room I checked was different, though. There were a few toys inside, like a rubber kunai and some blocks. It took me a moment to register it as Sasuke’s room when he was a child, which made the whole weight of it all sink in a little harder. It was weird to think that he used to be one of those bright-eyed kids I see running around the village streets. It was weird to think that I was probably one of those kids, too.
Stepping inside, I looked around the room until my eyes settled on a dresser, on top of which were a few photos that were faced down, except for one that was covered in a layer of dust. It was hard to see what the photo was, so I gave it a quick wipe.
“Cute.” I murmured with a faint smile, seeing a picture of somebody holding a younger Sasuke on his back. The other person in the picture looked a lot like him, but older. I wondered if that was the infamous older brother that was the cause of the tragedy.
As I started at it, another image suddenly flashed in my head again. I winced and held my head, closing my eyes as I tried to recall the image. It flashed again, though while it was unclear, it was something awfully similar to the photo that I saw before me. Instead of a younger Sasuke, though, it was a younger me that was being carried. The weirdest thing, however, was that instead of a family member replacing Sasuke’s brother in my memory, it was—
“I told you not to touch anything.” Sasuke’s harsh voice startled me. I looked over to see him standing by the doorway, looking annoyed as ever. “You have the same look you had when you remembered the Sun Country.”
“Y…Yeah, something like that.” I responded, looking back at the picture. I could sense the hostility coming from the Uchiha, but I was under the impression that it wasn’t aimed towards me. He must have seen the picture I was looking at, after all. “It’s just little things, though, like remembering the inside of my house and such…but it’s better than nothing.”
“If that’s all, we’re leaving,” was his only response, so we did just that.
Once we were back outside, I slipped my sandals back on and followed him as he led me out of the compound. At first, it was silent as my thoughts dwelled on the short event I just remembered, but I soon felt compelled to ask something.
“Hey, Sasuke.” I called, grabbing his attention. “Would you rather have forgotten everything?”
He paused for a brief moment as he looked over to me. I thought he would get angry at the question, but instead, he gave me a curt answer. “…No.”
“Why?”
“It’s a waste of time to think about ‘what if’ situations.”
I hummed in response while looking absently ahead. “That’s true.” I agreed with a shrug. “…I wonder if I wanna remember everything.” I thought out loud. “There might be a reason I forgot everything in the first place, you know? I read that some people get amnesia because their brains are trying to protect the person from the trauma. Maa… I’m kind of scaring myself, thinking about that kind of stuff, haha.”
That was when we reached the gate of the compound again, and Sasuke was already starting on his own way.
“One more thing.” I spoke, apologetic about the nuisance I must have been to him. “Do you know where Kakashi-sensei might be at this time?”
“No.” Sasuke answered shortly before leaving for good this time.
The sun had almost completely set by now, so streetlights were now being turned on to help light the streets, with the help of the moon and the stars. I soon reached my destination, and after taking a moment to sort out my thoughts, I knocked on the door.
A few moments later, a surprised grey-haired jounin answered the door. “Riku? What brings you here?” He asked before furrowing his brows in confused. “How do you know where I live?”
“How come you didn’t tell me that we’ve met before the war?” I snapped back accusingly, ignoring his questions entirely.
For a moment, he simply stood there, stunned at what I had said.
“…Sounds like you regained some of your memories.” Kakashi-sensei murmured, avoiding eye contact. “Do you want to come inside?”
“What I want is for you to give me a damn good reason about this!” I demanded, hardening my gaze as much as I could. “I’ve been slaving over getting my memories back for five years thinking that there wasn’t a single person left in the world that I used to know, because I thought they were all dead, but then suddenly you of all people show up in my memories?”
I took a step forward, which made him step back a little, probably alarmed by my sudden aggression.
“Why were you in my village? Why were you talking to my mother? Why were you carrying me around on your back like I was your kid or something—”
I cut myself off as those words escaped my mouth as the realization suddenly donned on me. My eyes widened as I looked up at Kakashi-sensei with suspicion and anger.
“Wait… No, no, there’s no way…” I murmured, shaking my head. “Now that I think about it, though… None of my memories showed anybody who could have been my father—”
“Wha— hold on!” The jounin suddenly exclaimed, cutting me off as he was apparently collected enough to speak again. “No, no, it’s definitely not that.” He said quickly, stopping me from considering the bizarre possibility any further. “I’m not your father, and I’m sorry if you take that as bad news.”
I scoffed. “Are you kidding? Who would wanna have amnesia and no family for five years, only to find out that the only relative they have left is an old, perverted geezer like you?” I responded half-heartedly as a joke before sighing deeply. “Well, as nice as it would have been to find out not all of my family is dead, I’m still asking the same questions.” I said, my tone becoming serious again. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this? Why would you hide my own memories from me?”
Kakashi-sensei fell silent once more, but I didn’t change my demeanour in any way until finally, he began to speak.
“I…thought it might be better if you didn’t remember.” He started, carefully picking his words as he spoke. “I’m not your father, but while I was there during my mission, you sure acted as though I were.” A soft laugh came from him as I glanced to the side, oddly embarrassed by that statement.
“Oh, right.” I murmured, remembering that aspect more clearly. “Ha, ‘Kashi-jiji’ is what I called you, right?” He nodded with another sheepish laugh.
“I bet it was because of your hair. It makes you look at least ten years older. No wonder. That doesn’t seem like something I wouldn’t want to remember, though. Actually, it’s a pretty nice memory, for once.”
“Even the part that came after?”
I raised a questioning brow.
“What?” I asked, not understanding what he meant. “What came after?”
It looked like he mentally kicked himself just then. “You don’t remember everything, then.” He murmured before shaking his head. “That’s the part you’re probably better off forgetting.”
“You’re not getting off the hook that easily.” I answered immediately, staring him down, which was kind of hard to do when he was over twice my size.
The jounin stared back at me before finally, he sighed and gave in.
“My mission at the time was just to establish relations between your village and Konoha. My team and I were there to help deal with a recent increase of bandits around the area, which is why I was often speaking with your mother and the other clan representatives. That also meant you saw me around a lot. I don’t think you’ve seen many outsiders by then, so you were rather…attached, so to speak.” He started, leaning against the doorframe. The look in his eyes told me he was a little amused by the memories that I could only vaguely remember, but his expression soon became more sullen and remorseful.
“There was a time when I was in the forest around the village, and I sensed somebody nearby. I was hasty because of the recent number of bandits and rogues that we had been dealing with, so I threw an explosive kunai without much thought.”
Without realizing it, I subconsciously brushed my fingers across the left side of my face as he said it. Something was starting to come back to me, and it was loud and painful.
Kakashi-sensei’s eyes trained on my mask for a moment before he looked away again. “As it turned out, the person I sensed was the farthest thing from a bandit or a rogue.” He sighed deeply before he looked back at me again, the look in his eyes looking tired and heavy. “I’m the reason why you have that scar. I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am.”
Silence hung over us in the tense atmosphere as the memory of the explosion and burns flooded back to me. I always thought this scar was something I got from the war, but apparently I was gravely mistaken. I never imagined that it had this kind of story behind it, though.
“So, the reason you didn’t want to tell me anything…”
“…I didn’t want your impression of me to be a negative one, which was selfish of me.”
“No kidding.” I murmured as I tugged at my mask. “You’re the reason I have to hide my face…huh.”
“Yes.”
“The reason I hate fireworks?”
“Yes.”
“The reason I freaked the fuck out during the Chuunin Exams when I got explosive tags stuck onto my legs by those bastard Kumo genin, at risk of getting them blown off at any moment, and broke down into a pitiful mess after they almost did?”
“…Yes.”
That one, he didn’t know about, and I knew it would sting. It was like the trump card I never knew I was holding. As cruel as it might be, I wanted it to sting, because man, was I pissed. Now I knew why he was hesitant to tell me in the first place. It really did ruin my impression of him.
“I won’t try to make excuses.” Kakashi-sensei murmured, his voice low and heavy.
Even so, I knew I wouldn’t stay mad at him forever.
“You’d better not.” I muttered back while tapping the ground with my foot. “It’s…It’s not like I ended up blind in one eye or something, either, but don’t get me wrong; it’s not like I’m fine with it all. I mean, I’m pissed. I haven’t been this pissed off in a while. Kind of wanna punch you in the face, I’m not gonna lie – maybe make it even or something - but it’s not like you did it on purpose, either, so that wouldn’t really be fair.”
There was a silence again, save for the sound of the light breeze rustling the leaves of nearby trees accompanied by the occasional sound of a nocturnal critter.
I broke the silence with a huff. “You were right. It does change my impression of you.” I glanced up at him, noticing that he tensed up just slightly. “Even so… Thanks for telling me in the end.” Knowing the truth behind my scar was unexpected, to say the least, and even though it wasn’t a nice memory, I still felt relieved, as if I could breathe a little easier now.
“It’s funny.” I said with a soft laugh. “Earlier today, I was wondering if I wanted to keep regaining my memories; if I really wanted to get them back, or if I was better off not knowing. They haven’t exactly been the best things so far, and yet, despite all that, here I am, still digging away until I find something. I guess I know the answer to that one now, huh.”
I often thought about how much simpler my life might have been if I never figured anything out. The past five years of my life weren’t luxurious, but they were carefree and free of secrets and political involvement. I could go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I was whoever I wanted to be. Despite all that, though, even after learning about the war, about my village, my clan, my family, and myself, for some reason, I still felt myself wondering what else there was left to uncover.
“…You’ll make it.” Kakashi-sensei spoke softly, smiling with his one eye. “I’m sorry I didn’t make things any easier for you, but whatever hurdles lie ahead, you’ll definitely make it past them.”
“Yeah,” I nodded before stepping back, making it known that I had nothing left to say, “I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t.” I responded with a confident smile. “Good night, Sensei. Oh, I’m still pissed at you, though. Remember that.”
“I won’t.” He laughed sheepishly, his eyes still ridden with guilt. “Good night, Riku. Take care.”
I nodded, and once he closed the door behind him, I started on my way home. It had been a long day, so all I wanted to do was sleep for the next two weeks.
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Chapter notes: Riku regains some memories and Kakashi is in one of them.
Chapter end notes: Thanks for reading!