Ever since the dawn of time, there has been fascination. It has been with rocks, plants, animals, and even fire. And through this curiousty there was the gaining of knowledge. And with this knowledge, we grew above the animals, above all else. Above the birds and the bees (although we still do use the horrid example for the aspiring romantic to understand what we think is ooey gooey, not to be discussed until after the child's third relationship) and the coconut trees, above all of the plants and animals and even the smallest bactirium (which helps in an aspiring empire). And then, with our knowledge, we began to drift from our caves and build meager huts from the available items and plants. But there was fighting over who could live where (and we think we are so advanced with our real estate) and who could live around them. So we drifted apart, only to find that we needed each other so we banned togeth--

"Kakashi-Sensei!!"

Huh?

"Master Kakashi!!"

What the hell?

"Come on, open up!!"

Oh. Damn it.

"Kakaaaaaa-a-shiii-iiiiii seee-eeenseee-eeeiii!!"

I guess I'd better get up.

Wow. Qui--

"SENSEI!!"

DAMN.

"Alright, alright. Since you woke me up already, I guess I'd better."

"YESSSSSSSSSS!!"

Man. I was enjoying that book.

"Sensei, hey... Are you just waking up?"

Uh. Another one. "Yeah. And Naruto, don't even try it. You do NOT want to be in here right now." I added, knowing he would be picking the just added three locks on my door. I was greeted by a whining which was oh-so-familiar.

But... He would. Anko was still asleep, surprisingly. Man, he would kill me if he saw this. I guess I should write her a note. "Naruto, what do you want?" Stupid question. Knew it before I was finished. Then why did I keep talking?

"We HAVE to get to NinjaCon before Sasuke! He'll be steaming!"

Why did he need me there? Ah yes... To act like I'm training him. And what if I don't go?

"Please, Sensei? I need to get there before Ino."

Now I got it. They didn't know where it was. I jumped as Anko stirred behind me, the blankets ruffling. Thankfully, I was putting on my shirt so they wouldn't hear. I slipped on my jacket, and then searched for some boxers. None. I'll have to weat dirty ones, then... Hope they don't smell. Hope they aren't ripped, either...

I dug through a few piles of clothes until I found two pairs smelling of cologne. Gagging, I threw one behind me and tossed the less pungent-smelling ones on. Anko giggled as she smelled the boxers (which landed next to her), thinking I was ready again. "Oh, Kakashi! I'm too tired. I hope you didn't go to two much trouble!" I ran over, patted her head, trying to quiet her down, but she only giggled more.

"Kakashi Sensei... Who's in there with you?" Naruto yelled quite loudly, banging on the door.

Anko jumped up, wide awake.

Damn.

"No, no no no! Naruto, you're just day dreaming again!" Heh... Damn it... She's awake...

"Did you say Naruto? Is he here?" Anko was hung over and angry!

"Anko, Anko, c-calm down... P-please..." My eye twitched as I thought of what to do. First I need to calm down. Alright. Done. Now, think how to get her back to sleep. Alright!

"No! You said this wouldn't happen ag--"

"Anko! Sleep!" I whispered and formed a few quick hand signs, and she fell limp. I pulled on some clean pants, and quickly walked out, shutting the door quickly behind me. Sakura coughed, about to ask what what the smell was, when I chimed up. "Alright. Follw me, and We'll get there before Sasuke and Ino know that this place even exists."

I ran out of the door, and quickly hopped to the roof. Landing softly, I ran off, loving the familiar sound of... Bare feet? What the hell? I forgot my shoes? But I didn't see them in my room...

-flash back-

Anko growled playfully as I removed her and my own clothes. I threw my shoes and underwear out of the window. I was in to much hurry to take my shoes off outside.

-end flash back-

Damn. So I guess I'll have to wear Chakra shoes. Haven't tried that for a while. A quick second of focusing, and I was wearing the glowing, flickering shoes of Chakra.

I jumped just in time to hear Naruto and Sakura hit the roof behind me. Perfect timing, even through the booze.

Smiling, I went faster, and faster, the two odd-balls following the whole time, no problem.

I skidded to a stop as I hit the ground, looking about at the Chunin Exams arena. It was full of retarted dorks that only work so they can buy drawn porno. At least I read it.

Looking about, I saw the two students landing behind me, looking fine until they stopped moving, when they began gasping for air, clawing at their throats.

I laughed, and turned around, just barely able to stifle a squeal of delight. There was my favorite kind of booth, and the KIDS were with me.

Damn.

"Kakashi-Sensei is turning red, Sakura!! And he's jumping around!! What do you think is wrong with him? Does he have to go to the bathroom?" Naruto asked as quietly he could (which was still pretty loud).

I heard a loud ~KLUNK~ as Sakura hit Naruto violently over the head. "YOU IDIOT! He's mastervating!"

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? HOW DOES SHE EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!?!

I stopped my odd behavior to listen to Naruto's responce.

"M-master... Masterwhat?" Naruto asked quizically.

"It makes your hair fall out." Sakura giggled with sweet revenge. That made me wonder... What had I done?

"Kakashi-Sensei! Stop Mastervating now! You'll lose all of your hair if you don't stop soon!!!!"

The whole place turned and looked at me. They stared. Some people dropped what they were holding, other's jaws dropped, others whispered to the person next to them.

I looked at the ground, and shook my head. Why did I go with them? Why didn't I just stay in bed? Anko was in a better mood than this place is!

I shook my head and sighed, walking forward. I didn't care anymore. I might as well scream it to the world!!!

'I'M A PERV! BATHE IN MY PERVINESS!' Wait... But... I forgot... If Jiraya found out... Oh dear...

I put some money on the booth table. "I'll take your finest." I looked up to see a large, laughing wolf staring me down the face.

My eyes grew wide. He couldn't be here. No, no and NO!

He couldn't have heard Naruto yell that, could he?

Oh, but he did.

Damn.

"Ha ha ha!" The wolf rolled over. "HA HA HA!" His legs waved through the air as he laughed his head off. "Holy shit Kakashi! Since when do we do that in public?"

The pace had just been picking up again when he screamed my name. Now some people looked angry. The people around me whispered angry things, snarling and giving me the stink eye.

"..." I opened my mouth and took a deep breath in, then held it. The place went silent. A second later, I uttered one word. "...Sokora." The place stopped again, dead this time.

"A ha ha! You know quite well my name is Akio in this form!" He lowered his head next to mine, and whispered, "Come on. Just play along. Just do it."

I shook my head and quickly turned to look at Naruto, who was jumping about to get a better view. Sakura was trying to leave in conspicuosly, but Naruto was making that hard for her.

"Why in the hell should I?" I whispered into his gray ear. "I would rather eat your ear raw."

"But raw meat makes you sick--"

"I know. Now, no more smart-ass remarks. I want my books."

The place started up again as I walked away from the booth, hoping Sokora would just die.

"Hey... Um... C-could I borrow one of those when you're done?" Sokora asked, walking along side me.

I began to respond when I was inturrupted. "Thanks. I hope you're done with them!" He jumped up to tear the books from me and shread them.

"No, no, wolf boy." I hit him muzzle with a hollw ~klonk~ and a drip of blood.

"DAM' I'! Now I ha' a chun' outta meh toung!" He growled, crouched and tackled me. I kicked him up in the air and he went soaring to land on Sakura, Naruto, Ino and Sasuke who were in a small, arguing group.

Now everyone around me took a step back. Then another, then another, and then they sprinted the hell out of there.

And they know my name.

Damn it.

Ino let out, a huge, shrieking, Chakra churning scream. Naruto faultered and crouched, to make it seem like he meant to twitch. He looked about, and noticed at the last second the angry, pained wolf flying towards him.

Sasuke was staring at Ino like she was a complete and utter udder. Instead of making milk, she made noise. LOUD. NOISE.

Sakura looked about, Kunai drawn.

But she was looking in the wrong direction. The knife was pointing in the perfect angle and direction just to pierce Sokora right in the perfect place as to make it that he would ever concive young.

I was doubled over in laughter, and just had to use the Sharingan to see what was hurtling to Billboard's Kunai Knife.

I almost fell over, but had to kep what was left of my dignity.

Just as I straightened up, I felt the presence of two Byakugans on either side watching intently. One was purple, very Lilac even. It was to my right.

Another was... Hmm... I black holes had colors, or if Death had eyes, they would be this color. It seemed extremely filled with rage and hate and sorrow.

Man. Send that dude to a frickin' psyciatrist.

"So, Negi and Hinata. The NinjaCon--" I began, but was interuptted by the consious-regaining Akio.

"DAMN IT GIRL, PUT THE FUCKIN' KUNAI AWAY!"

Aww, he noticed.

Damn it.