In love there are only winners and losers, mostly losers. By this i mean no matter how much you love someone, they can’t always love you back. This is why my motto is ‘love is the worst kind of suicide’...
This is what i think every time i see Sasuke Uchiha, i try not to love him but in the end it is impossible.
I suppose me saying all this makes you think I'm some kind of dark, depressing person who hang’s around in coffee shop’s listening to poetry, but in fact i am the opposite. In real life i probably come off as vain and self centred, of course i would say this is incorrect, but sometimes i begin to wonder....

“Hey sasuke, urm what are you doing tonight?” i said hopefully.
“Nothing, with you” sasuke said as cold as i could be said, not even looking up from the manga he was reading.
“W-well how about tomorrow?”
He sighed and gave Naruto a look.
“Sakura, really you should give it up, i don’t want you and i never have”
Naruto laughed hysterically.
Time stopped still. He had actually said it, i knew he never really liked me but to hear him say it properly to my face. The cart we were travelling stopped.
“Now we are back in konaha, and i am going home, try not to follow me”
Both naruto and sasuke fell about laughing, they got out and walked down the road.
I stood motionlessly, my mouth open in shock.
“Hu, you had better close that, you’ll catch flies”
I turned quickly, it was Kakashi, my sensei.
“You’re not walking home alone this late are you?”
“Urm, yeah i am..”
“Come on, i’ll walk with you.”..............

We walked a while, i found it very strange that Kakashi suddenly cared so much..... I thought intensely about what had happened with sasuke, why me?
Why did i have to love him?
I hated myself for making such a fool of myself. Again. I suddenly felt a breeze of cold air, i shivered.
“Hey, sakura if you’re cold have my jacket”
Before i could even answer he wrapped his jacket round me with big, strong arms.
He paused when he had his arms all the way around me, i waited for me to unlatch his arms in disgust. But i didn’t, instead i turned to face him. He brought his face down to mine and he came in closer.
Kakashi gently brushed his experienced lips over mine, pulling me even closer so that i could feel the intense heat of his body against my own........

The very next thing i remember was waking up in a very unfamiliar bed, with a very familiar man beside me.
I had slept with him.
Wait maybe not.
I really don’t remember.
Okay, retrace my steps what did i do last night, i finished my mission asked sasuke out, got rejected walked home with Kakashi and then.....
Oh god, i don’t remember.
What happened last night?
Kakashi stirred in the covers, i panicked and ran out the room with my clothes.
After i had got dressed i walked out the house, i didn’t walk home. I mean god only knows what my parents would say. I Lost My Virginity to my Teacher!
Wait, am i pregnant?
Ok, shut up inner self, i don’t even know if i slept with him. But what else could have got me into Kakashi’s bed?
And why the hell can’t i remember?
Did he drug me?
I think all this as i walk down the street, going no where in particular. I am so distant that i trip over the pavement and fall flat onto my face.
“I was wondering why you didn’t come running to me but now i realise you have a new love, hope you and the pavement are happy together” Said a familiar, cold voice.
Then i heard a chorus of laughter. It was sasuke and his friends. I jumped up to my feet.
“But shouldn’t you find a real boyfriend, you know one that isn’t an inanimate object”.
They all laughed at sasukes cruel comment. I couldn’t take it.
“Actually i already found one, and he’s way more mature than you pathetic little boys”, so maybe i lied a little, Kakashi and i weren't even dating but they pushed me into saying it. After that i walked off with my chin held high. When i was at the bottom of the road i had to stop and look back at Sasuke’s face. He looked as if he had been slapped with a wet fish. I smiled to my self.
Wait did i just smile at the love of my life being humiliated?
Yes i did, and i wanted more, i wanted Sasuke to feel the pain he put me through all those times....
I begun to walk home, i was thinking up excuses about me being out all night when i was knocked over. Once again i tasted pavement. The person grabbed me by the arm and pulled me close to him.
“What the...” I stopped, i looked up. It was Kakashi.
“Sorry about that” He brought his face closer to mine, he was almost whispering in my ear,”Where did you go this morning”
I pulled away only slightly.
“Yeah...i had to go”.
He slimily tasted my ear lobe, “Maybe tonight”.
I was about to refuse but then i saw Sasuke looking at us from down the road.
“Yeah, sure” I said it and then i held Kakashi closer and kissed him on the lips. He kissed back. I saw the look on Sasuke’s face. That is what i lived for from then on.

So there went another night with Kakashi. Although i remembered it this time i wish i didn’t. I did NOT enjoy being with Kakashi in the slightest, but that look on Sasuke’s face....
There are moments where i think to myself, is it really worth it? but then i remember some of the humiliating times he put me through......
The next day our team met up on the usual bridge, for the first time ever Kakashi actually showed up on time, only because he was with me. He was molesting me in a way that discomforted me greatly and at first i did not respond....but then Sasuke showed up.
“Oh, kakashi you were great last night” i giggled, casually looking over at Sasuke’s face. Yes, so worth it. Then Naruto showed up.
“Hey sasuke, hey .....sakura?” Naruto said, staring at me and Kakashi like he had never seen a couple before. “what the fuck?”, He looked over at Sasuke.
“Don’t ask me..”, He tried to say it casually, “Hey, sensei could we actually get started on some training?”.
“*sigh* Yes ok” ,Said Kakashi, not wanting to pull away.
So we trained for a couple of hours, Kakashi leering at me the whole time and sasuke glaring at him and me.
“Okay that's enough for today”, he said and then came over to me, ”Hey Sakura, how about we go out tonight?”.
Sasuke and Naruto were in the corner talking, looking at me and Kakashi every so often, i really did not want to go with Kakashi. I knew what dinner would lead to.....
Naruto and sasuke came over, ”Hey Sakura, you coming, me and Sasuke are going for ramen”.
It took me a moment to think which one was worst...
“Sorry kakashi, i am too exhausted, I'm going with Naruto”, I purposely missed out sasuke..
We got to the ramen shop and then they got serious....
“Sakura what the hell is going on with you and Kakashi?” Naruto said straight out.
“Yeah, i didn’t think even you would be as stupid as to sleep with our sensei” Sasuke added.
“*sigh*, you have no idea Sasuke, me and Kakashi are in love” i said lying through my teeth.
“I’m thinking he's in it for more than that” Sasuke said coldly.
“And why do you care?”.
Sasuke blushed “I-i don’t but ......it’s affecting my training”,
Did he just blush?
Did he just blush for me?
Naruto looked shocked as well.
Silence.
“Whatever, i am going to see Kakashi”, i said, breaking this awkward silence. Of corse i wasn’t going to him. As i started to walk off, i heard Naruto say something..
“Sakura....”
I turned, it was Sasuke looking hurt. I looked into his eyes and for a split second it looked like he really cared about me then he ruined it.
“You really are an idiot sakura”.
Damn cold hearted bastard, he had to ruin it. Although it was just as good, i was just about to fall for him again, close one....

Sakura begun to walk home, in intense thought. Sasuke must care about her in some way, i mean he blushed. And he seemed to always stare longingly at me and Kakashi when we were together. But maybe he really didn’t, maybe he did only care because of it affecting his training. Yes surely, he had never really cared at all about Sakura, so why would he now?
At that moment i decided, no more guys for a while, the thing with Kakashi really started to creep me out, i mean before he had acted so lovingly and gentle with me, but now he had started to be more rough and forceful. And there had never been a her and Sasuke.
So i changed my path and went over to Kakashi’s to break it off.
I knocked on his door and he answered immeadiately.
“Hey Sakura, nice to see you have changed your mind”, he said, leaning on the door frame seductively.
“No, i came.....well i am breaking up with you” , this was all i wanted but i could not help but stammer.
He said nothing, i looked into his eyes, at first it was surprise, and then anger.
“No”, he said it without emotion.
I wasn’t aware that ‘i am breaking up with you’ could be classed as a question.
“What?”.
“No, you're not”, he begun to smile, i was terrified
“Wha-why?”.
He didn’t have to answer. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me up-stairs. Oh god, how could i have been as stupid as to expect he would simply let me go, it seemed i had only just remembered the night i lost my memory. I begun to cry.
“LET ME GO!!”, i said, as loud as possible.
He didn’t say a word. He just laid me onto the bed, and begun to undress me.
I screamed, i kicked. Still he said nothing, he simply held my legs down with his and covered my mouth.
Then i heard a miraculous sound, the doorbell.
I somehow managed to knee him in the crotch and i made a run for it. Down stairs, only he caught me. He grabbed me by the shoulder and threw me across the room. My head hit the coffee table hard. My vision blurred, i could only just make out Kakashi coming towards me. And then i cringed as a kick hit me hard in the stomach, and then again. I lost use of my body and then i slowly lost conciousness, the doorbell still ringing..
.
If you think this chap is dark, stop reading now.

As i awoke i was aware of someone holing onto my tightly, I jumped out of their arms, scared it was Kakashi. Then i fell back to the floor, ah my head, i felt it. I had been bandaged up, but blood still stained my hands. I turned towards the person who had held me before.
I lay on the floor, staring in awe. It was Sasuke.
He pulled my top up slightly, to reveal a huge bruise.
“I think you might have broken one of your ribs”, he felt and i cringed in pain. I looked properly at Sasuke, he had obviously been crying.
“Sasuke......”, I swallowed, not able to talk more.
“Sakura, we should go some where else, here i will carry you”, he picked me up easily, and took me through the back door. We walked, there were so many questions i wanted to ask Sasuke, but i was busy focusing all my energy into not passing out. We got to a house soon enough.
“Here, this is my house”, he walked me into a living room and lay me down onto a cream, leather sofa.
I attempted to speak, but Sasuke just placed one finger onto my lips.
“Sleep”.
I didn’t sleep so much as pass out for a while, i awoke again and Sasuke was out of my sight. I managed to get up to look for him. I desperately needed to know exactly what happened, it was driving me insane.
I limped up the stairs, and i heard the sound of running water. As i walked into the bathroom i saw Sasuke sitting in the shower, fully clothed. I saw the look on his face, and resisted asking him anything. I simply sat beside him and let the cold water run over me.

We sat in the shower for what seemed to be eternity, Sasuke put one arm around her.
Am i dreaming this?
Sasuke Uchiha with his arms around me.
I didn’t care, i put both arms around him, i looked up at him. He was crying.
“I-i should be the one crying”, i looked down, almost ashamed i let it get this far.
This only made him cry harder. He looked as if he was trying to speak.
“S-sa Sakura, i-i d-did it”, he cried harder.
“Did what?”.
He looked at me.
“I k-killed Kakashi”.
He looked back down. I didn’t know what to say.
“I walked past Kakashi’s and heard screams from up-stairs. I rang the doorbell for a while but no-one answered. So i came in and found you on the floor, i thought you were dead I saw Kakashi and guessed what had happened.....thats when i-”, he cut off, still crying.
I was with a murderer.
A murderer has his arms around me.
i unlatched him. And tried to get up. i fell.
He tried to pick me up but i shook him off.
“Sakura i did it for you, i do care. Kakashi said he would kill you”, he cried again.
I heard noises out side. Sirens. Someone must have found out what Sasuke had done.
Sasuke looked out the window.
“Sakura, go out the back door, i will turn myself in”, he said it confidently, he had stuttered every thing else but this.
Sakura smiled,” Only if you come with me”.
He didn’t argue, we walked out the back door.
“1,2,3,4,5”, i counted.
We ran hand in hand to Sasuke’s car.
He got behind the wheel and faced Sakura.
“Are you sure”.
“Absolutely”