The Year of Secret Assignments* by tikarina
Summary: Temporary Hiatus.

Don't Worry Will Be Back Soon.

Three girls. Three boys.Two rival schools.This could get messy. The Konoha – Western pen pal program is designed to bring together the two rival schools in a spirit of harmony and the “the Joy of the Envelope”. But when Sakura, TenTen and Ino send their first letters to Sasuke, Shika and Neji, things don’t go quite as planned. What starts out as a simple letter exchange soon leads to secret missions, false alarms, lock picking, mistaken identities and an all-out war between the schools – not to mention some really excellent kissing.


Categories: Alternate Universe & Crossovers > High School Fics, Het Romance > Top Six Pairs > Neji and Tenten, Het Romance > Top Six Pairs > Sasuke and Sakura Characters: Maito Gai, Iruka Umino, Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, Neji Hyuuga, Pair ShikaIno, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Temari, Tenten
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Fantasy, Humor, Mystery, Romance
Warnings: AU, Death
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Completed: No Word count: 10695 Read: 23331 Published: 08/05/08 Updated: 18/08/08

1. Sasuke's Notebook. by tikarina

2. Sakura's Diary by tikarina

3. Konoha High Year 10 Notice Board. by tikarina

4. Letters from Konoha by tikarina

5. Letters from Western by tikarina

6. Letters from Konoha. by tikarina

7. Letters from Western. by tikarina

8. Sasuke's Notebook by tikarina

9. Autumn Term / Ino and Shika Part 1 by tikarina

10. Autumn Term / Ino and Shika Part 2 by tikarina

11. Autumn Term / Ino and Shika Part 3 by tikarina

12. Autumn Term // TenTen and Neji Part 1 by tikarina

13. Autumn Term // TenTen and Neji Part 1 1/2 by tikarina

14. Autumn Term // TenTen and Neji Part 2 by tikarina

Sasuke's Notebook. by tikarina
Author's Notes:
Hiya. same story new account. The old one wasnt letting me update. strange ehh? Thank you : vampirella
fuyuko
scarlett fire
AND
Thorns

For Reviewing :D
QUICK!


Before you read another word, write your own FULL name in every box on this page!

Don’t be afraid! Your Notebook is meant for writing in! Hello
Sasuke Uchiha! It’s great to meet you! Hey, wait a minute. That name sounds familiar! Sasuke Uchiha?

Isn’t that the name of a FAMOUS AUTHOR???!!! Well, is it? Not sure? Maybe one day?

Hey,
Sasuke Uchiha – there’s only one thing that is sure! And that’s this- the answer is in your hands! Or, to be straight with you, Sasuke Uchiha, the answer is in this Notebook!!!!!!!

You want to know how the Notebook works?


It’s simple.
We ask questions. You answer them.

And by the time you get to the end of the book, you’re an author – OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!! * Think its crazy? Think again. Ever heard of William Shakespeare? Jane Austen ring a bell? How do you think those guys got started?!?!

So. You ready? Let’s dive right in! How do you KNOW, deep in your heart, that you WILL be an author one day? (Go on,
Sasuke Uchiha, its your turn now….)

* Conditions apply



Shakespeare got started using this book? Wait until I tell my English teacher.



Wonderful! Now, how do you know you have the determination to see your dream through?

Well, for one thing, I put my name in those boxes. Normally I would find that kind of thing insulting to my intelligence.

Plus there’s the fact that I’m writing in this book at all, considering it’s a birthday present from my dad.

Okay great. Now, what was it that made you stop in the bookstore today, pick up this book, and take it over to the counter to pay for it?

My dad bought the book. Not me. For a birthday present?

Interesting. Okay, let’s start with something simple. Look around you right now. Write down a list of everything that you see.

1. A guy leaning back with his arms stretched over the back of the seat, as if he is watching a football game from his couch at home.
2. A girl fast asleep with her head on the guy’s shoulder, and her hair caught under his arm.
3. Other people leaning or sleeping in different directions.
4. A math teacher. (She’s writing numbers and letters all over the board and she seems pretty excitced, the way her shoulders are bouncing. Maybe she’s figured out the formula for time travel or something. Wait a minute and ill ask her)


We bet you just wrote down “grass”, “water”, “sky”, etc., etc. Maybe you noticed the coffee cup, but we bet you didn’t get the lipstick stain on the side of the coffee cup! Now, go ahead and try again. Write down EVERYTHING that you see.

I don’t get it. There is no coffee cup.
Ms. Yen just turned around from the board and I noticed that she’s getting a bit fat. The top button on her jeans has popped open.
Is that descriptive enough for you?

That’s better! Now do you know any of the names of any of the plants and animals around you?


(A+B) – (A-B) x (X+Y) – (X-Y)


What about some of the colors of the things that you see?

I made up the formula myself. Ms.Yen couldn’t think of anything to say when I asked her.

Let’s pretend that YOU are a character in a book. The book starts with you waking up yesterday morning. Tell us what you did.

Pass.

Okay, time for your first QUICK FLICK! These are “memory” exercises that you will find throughout your Notebook. You’ll really start to look forward to them! Think for a moment, then describe for us your very first day of University.


It was bad because I was only three at that time, my mother made me wear a plastic bib around my neck in case I spilled any of my stewed apples. All the other kids stared.
YOU LOSER. I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT MY MATH TEACHER, ETC. DID IT SOUND LIKE UNIVERSITY TO YOU? WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?
I DON’T THINK YOU WERE.

Tell us the occupation of your best friend. Is she a plumber? Maybe she’s an accountant! We’ll leave a couple of pages now so you can tell us ALL about your best friend!

Hold on. Mr.Gai is waving his hands to indicate that he wants to speak.
He is an idiot.
What he has to say is that we have now finished Larkin, so next week, we will begin the famous Konoha – Western Pen Pal Project. Specifically, we will write letters to students at Konoha High, and they will become our pen pals. “And this,” he says, “will kill 2 birds with one stone!”

Mr.Gai is holding one finger in the air. “A” he is saying, “It will reduce the hostility between our schools! And two,” he holds up a second finger, “and two, it will be our stand against technology! By sending letters, we say no to e-mails! No to mobile phones and texting!! And yes to the Joy of the Envelope!!!”

Mr.Gai, as I said, is an idiot. He’s trying to be funny, but he can’t hide the fact that he’s not.

He also can’t hide the fact that he just said A and then two.A lot of people are now offering to teach him the alphabet.

Meanwhile, the rest of the class is in an uproar. Some people are up set because their mobile phones have been insulted. Most people are upset about having to write to Konoha.

Well, Notebook, I’m going to have to stop writing now. It’s Friday afternoon, and it’s been great getting to know you, but we all have places to go. Well done! That was fabulous! And guess what? You did it! You finished Part 1 of your Notebook! We are SO PROUD of you! Be sure and take a break before you go on to the next part!
Sakura's Diary by tikarina
Author's Notes:
REVIEW! no one likes a silent reader! No flames please but constructive criticism is allowed.
Well, Hello there Diary.

This is Sakura and its Sunday night.
So, what happened was, I just spent a weekend at Ino’s place, since her parents were away (as per usual). TenTen was in a melancholy mood so we didn’t do anything illegal. We just invented recipes using the strangest ingredients in the kitchen plus some different kinds of old wine.

Also, TenTen set off the smoke alarm seventeen times. She’s been analyzing how smoke alarms work. The melancholyness didn’t last after 7pm.

Anyhow, I just got home from Ino’s, and I thought of this diary. The reason being that it was a birthday present from my dad a few years ago. I remember it was wrapped in green tissue paper when he give it to me, with one of those curling, twirling ribbons, and I made fun of my dad because I knew a shopkeeper must have wrapped it and also because I was twelve and stupid.
Also, I remember that I saw the leather cover and realized it was a diary, and then I raised my eyebrows and kind of humorously threw the diary over my shoulder, saying,” You think I’m the kind of person that writes in a diary?”

Mum and dad laughed, and dad just shrugged, like “oh, well better luck next time.” I put the diary in my bedside drawer, and it’s been there ever since.

Hey, I guess you don’t know all these people, do you, Diary?

You don’t even know who I am.
I’m not the kind of person who writes in diaries.
That’s one thing to know about me.
Konoha High Year 10 Notice Board. by tikarina
Author's Notes:
know its kinda slow starting. But the stuff in the beginning is important to the rest of the story. Next chapter...the letters start. :D
Thought For The Day:

In order to know the road map of you mind,
Seek out the compass in your schoolbooks!


SPRING CONCERT!

As the autumn term gets underway, spring may seem a distant star. But it’s not! It comes just after winter! At this weeks form assembly, we’ll ask for volunteers to participate in the spring concert: if you can sing, dance, juggle, or even “rap!” (But only cheerful rap tunes please), raise your hand at the assembly so your name can be included! (Air guitarists need not apply unless and until they learn to play the guitar.)


THIS HAS BEEN A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FORM MISTRESS.

___________________________________________________

Protest in Mr.Hatake’s English class today

Do you value your life?

Then say NO to Mr.H’s Western – Konoha Pen Pal Project.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T WRITE A LETTER IN CLASS TODAY.

If Mr.H asks why, remind him that:

-The reason judo is compulsory here at Konoha is so we can defend ourselves against Western students.

-You can’t get into Western unless you have a criminal record.

-Western students don’t know how to read or write.

______________________________________________________


A Note To Mr. Hatake’s English Students!


I see that an uprising is in the works to do with my pen pal project!

Guys, its true that the students at Western seem “scary” , and they do have more tattoos and prison time then we have here. But isn’t this what life is all about? The Adventure of the Scary and the New?

I’ll let you in on a secret: Western kids are every bit as human as you are! Last year, my English class had a ball writing to them. Despite the rumors, nobody got their arms broken – indeed, my students learned a great deal about themselves, friendship, and the Joy of the Envelope!

Don’t forget! Sharpen your pens and your wit, and ill see you in English today!


Mr. Hatake.


P.S A word of warning: Although your letters to Western will be completely confidential, participation in the Pen Pal Project will count directly to wards your assessment marks for this year.
Letters from Konoha by tikarina
Author's Notes:
This is supposed to be a lighthearted fic. So dont get so strung out if the characters are slightly out.
ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT: MR. HATAKE’S CLASS LETTER FROM KONHA STUDENT TO WESTERN STUDENT AS PARTICIPATION IN THE KONOHA – WESTERN PEN PAL PROJECT



Dear Student at Western,

Please see the following!!!

1.My Name: Ino

2.My Interests: Well, there’s too many to write out! My hand will fall off from the repetitious strain injury! But okay. You twisted my arm. I’ll choose the top three!

(a) Shopping

Shopping, shopping, shopping! HEY, DID I JUST USE UP MY THREE? OOPS!
Anyway, just kidding. : D

Let me give you an idea of the kind of shopping freak I am. Okay, I’m walking along with two shopping bags on my RIGHT ARM. I’m unbalanced! Hey! These bags are too heavy! The blood has stopped flowing to my knees! I’m about to tip sideways! Help!

WELL. You might think that the sensible thing would be to swap one bag to the other arm. Or maybe even stop for a café au lait?

But no! What do I do? I heard straight out to buy myself TWO more shopping bags full of clothes or accessories or what – have – you take my fancy!

And THAT’s how I balance myself out!
Oh, don’t get ne started about shopping! Or else I’ll never finish this letter!

(b) Chocolate

Don’t get me started about chocolate either! Yummorama!

© Horses

Finally, I would like to end with horses. I have loved horses since I saw this old movie called International Velvet on TV when I was a child. It starred Tatum O’Neal, who was a child actress, in her time.


3. My friends: Okay, this one’s easy.

I have two best friends. Sakura and TenTen.

At any rate, the three of us girls are like the Three Scrooges! We have been best friends since primary school on account of all the lawyers among our parents going to cocktail parties and, in their youthful days, having affairs with each other and so forth.

Can there be Siamese triplets? ‘Cos that’s what we would be! Oh, don’t get me started!

4. My Favorite Holiday: Canes Film Festival

5. My Favorite Subjects at School: English! This has a lot to do with our teacher, Mr. Hatake. I cannot explain it, but he really seems to care about his students more then most teachers.

6. My Favorite Color: Aquamarine!

7. Parents’ Occupation: My parents are both lawyers. Often my father does not arrive home until 4 am in the morning, and my mother not until an hour after that! This is because they are both partners of their law firm.

Well, I have one other thing that I could tell you, and it is this: that I am a person who has Secret Assignments. Like an FBI agent?

: D I get Secret Assignments, which appear, in my locker; they are written on scented notepaper inside envelopes sealed with red wax.

Kooky, eh! But that’s just what I’m like.

Okay, got to go! Looking forward to your reply! : D

Yours sincerely,
Ino


LETTER FROM TENTEN OF KONOHA HIGH TO A PERSON AT WESTERN

Dear person at western,

I am a fish.
You wouldn’t think so to look at me, what with the uniform, and hair on top of my head and all that?
But it’s true, I’m a fish.
I’m not sure that type, but I think maybe a cod.
What are you?

My mother grew up in a pinball parlor, but then she dyed her hair purple, learned to fly a plane, and the rest, as they say, is history.

My father, I never knew, expect for this one time when he threw a ball and told me to go fetch it.
“Dad.” I said.” Am I a dog?”
“TenTen,” he said. “I Apologize.”

We haven’t spoken a word to each other since.

What should happen is this:
You should send me some dope and I should sell it. Or use it. We should do this regularly. You send it, and I sell it. It would be a bit like drug trafficking.

I’ve heard that Western has a marijuana plantation instead of a sports oval. So I guess its easy enough for you to get. Or are they strict about who can pick it? I hope not.
Do you think you can get it here my lunchtime?

Yours truly,
TenTen

P.S sorry about my name.


TO A STUDENT AT WESTERN FROM A STUDENT AT KONOHA

Dear western kid,

That’s what our English teacher calls you:
“Western Kids”
I think its pretty funny, so that’s how I have started my letter to you. I wasn’t even going to write at all, is the fact of the matter, but I just found it so funny when he said it that I wrote it:
“Dear Western Kid”
My name is Sakura.
In an actual fact, I always think its funny when a teacher tries to be cool. Most people want to slap them across the face, but I want to sit them down, like with a hand on their forehead, and say, “its okay, you’re a grown up, you’re allowed to be a nerd, just breathe in and out, that’s all you need to do,” and they would look up at me confused but also relieved and teary eyed.

Ino gets rapid breathing ( you know where you have to breathe into a paper bag?) because she is highly strung. TenTen does not get rapid breathing because she is as cool as a cat. Ino and TenTen are my best buddies, so that’s why I introduced them to you right there.

You definitely don’t know me, and you must be a real nice person because you’re a western kid.

Bye now.

Sakura
Letters from Western by tikarina
Author's Notes:
Review =D
Dear Ino,

Well, I have to say your letter was a bit of a shock. Maybe it’s a girl/guy thing? Do you want to ask your teacher if you can write to a girl in my class instead of to me? Or, else, I’ve got a sister if you want to write to her? Just say the word, if you do.

Seriously, what grade are you in? No offense, but do you realize you talk like an eighty five year old?

You talk like the lady who works in the shop where I get my curry chicken pie every afternoon on the way home from school. She has white hair, and every single day she says:
“Ho ho! I know what you want, Mister Man! You want a sausage roll!” And I always say:

“No, actually, I want a curry chicken pie.”
That’s EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Do you realize you talk like her?
Here’s an example from your letter: “Don’t get me started!”
This is an expression used by an eighty-five-year-old woman in a cake shop.

And besides which, how come you don’t want to get started? What will happen if you get started? Are you worried about using up your fuel or something? I mean, you already got started. Whenever you say that in your letter, it’s when you’ve already got started. It’s a weird expression, if you don’t mind me saying so.

I also have to say, and I’m only doing this for your own good, but you kind of prove the image of the private school girl from Konoha High. I was reading this letter, and what I was thinking was this:

“F*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*k me.”

(Give me a call if you need me to explain what the missing letters are there. I didn’t want to risk writing the actual word, as the sock would kill you.)

I’m telling you right off, I don’t know what we’re going to talk about if your favorite things are shopping, chocolate and horses. We could sing the sound track from The Sound of Music together, I guess, but otherwise stuffed if I know. Can you think of any other interests maybe?

I have this supersonic memory, which not all other people have. The first memory I have is from before I was conceived, I mean, before I came into being. About a fortnight before.

It’s a “kooky” thing about me, as you would say, like you and your Secret Assignments in the candle wax envelops.


I’ll be straight with you, that’s the only interesting thing that I found in your letter. Those Secret Assignments. Tell me what they are.

I can’t think of anything else to say. As I mentioned, though, I have a sister, and if you want to write to her, you just say the word.

Yours sincerely,

Shikamaru Nara





* * *


Dear TenTen,

It’s great that you’re a fish, because I’m a heron of the kind that flies around the sky and then swoops down to the ocean and screws your brains out.

You thought I was going to say I was the kind of heron that swoops down and eats you, didn’t you?

I was, but I thought that might be offensive.

My mother is a food processor and my father is a wall-mounted clothes dryer. I have a kid brother too, but I don’t know what kind of appliance he is yet. He’s too small.
You’re a freak, you know that?
I can’t figure out when you’re being serious and when your not.
Example: Does your mother fly planes really? Why?

Other example: do you really want me to send you what you were saying you want me to send you? How much would you want me to send? We should talk about this. Suggest a place to meet.

See you,

Neji H.


* * *

Dear Sakura,
Eat shit and die, private school slag.
Yours faithfully,
S.U
Letters from Konoha. by tikarina
Author's Notes:
=D
Dear Shikamaru,


This is what Mr. H wrote up on the blackboard as a suggestion for our responses to the letters from your class:

“Try commenting on the letter! Was it: amusing? Interesting? E.g., ‘thank you very much for your letter which was amusing.’ “
So, Shikamaru Nara:

Thank you very much for your letter, which was a BIG PILE OF CRAP.

This is the LAST and FINAL and SUPERLATIVE letter you will ever get from me.
The only reason I wrote to you in the first incidence was because I thought it was an assignment. I thought he was going to read the letters and give us feedback and incorporate the feedback into our assessment grades. And I am aiming to come first in English this year, so therefore I put A LOT of effort into that letter.

Now it turns out that he meant it when he exclaimed that there would be full confidence for our respect. EXCUSE ME. Full respect for our confidence. (You see what you have done to my English? You’ve got it all twisted.)

Plus my friend TenTen told me that she has all ready started up a drug-trafficking scheme in her letters, and she does not appear to me to have been arrested, so therefore it must be true: NOBODY IS READING THE LETTERS.

Which brings me to the point: why would I keep writing to you? That seems to me like an incompetent waste of my time.

And no, I do NOT want to write to your sister. How sexist of you to think that just because I like shopping it means that all girls like shopping, and that’s the only thing girls talk about. My friends Sakura and Tenny both HATE shopping, and guess what, they both happen to be girls. So therefore you are proved wrong.
You are so old-fashioned you need EXIT MOLD sprayed under your arms.

And furthermore, if you just imagine for one MOMENT that you might show anyone this letter, you’ll be face-to-face with a lawsuit so brutal you’ll never eat another chicken pie.
And I think I have a few more connections in the legal world then you do.

Ciao, Roma.

Ino
P.S. There’s nothing wrong with the expression “Don’t get me started”. It’s expressive and humor-filled. I can’t believe you think it’s incorrect to use that expression when a person has already got started. You don’t understand satire or irony or sarcasm or effectiveness. That’s Western all over, I guess.

P.P.S. AND YOU CAN TALK. “ Just say the word.” JUST SAY THE WORD? What kind of an expression is that? WHAT WORD WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SAY ANYWAY? MORON?


* * *


Dear Neji,

In one letter only you have blown my cover. You are right. I am no fish.
Bravo, my friend, bravo.

But I notice you didn’t send me any kind of gift. Are you one of those careful drug traffickers? I’ve heard about them. I don’t think they have a very good reputation. The way to break the law is to be really upfront about it.

I know this because my dads a judge.

I don’t think we should meet.
I think this will work better by mail.

I’ve decided that we have to tell each other the dreams that we each had the previous night.

I was a snail. Nothing really happened, I just sat there being a snail and sometimes stretching my neck a bit.
What did u dream?
See you,
TenTen

* * *


Dear S.U,

Thank you very much for your letter I loved it.
So anyway, how have you been? You didn’t give much away in your letter.

Mr.H told us that sometimes boys have trouble expressing their feelings and he hopes the boys in our class can work through that in their letters. Also, he hopes we keep it in mind if we’re lucky enough to get a boy.

Does he mean it’s unlucky if you get a girl for a pen friend?

I am one of the lucky ones. I got a boy YOU. And you are a champion. Don’t let anybody tell you any different, k?

Don’t feel under any pressure, though, because I like you just the way you are.

Well, it’s been. Can’t wait for your next letter.
Love,
Sakura
Letters from Western. by tikarina
Author's Notes:
*serious sugar buzz on this chapter*
Dear Ino,

Wow. That letter really kicked arse. Do you want to chill or something for a minute though?

Getting worked up like that can’t be good for your blood pressure.
I didn’t mean to offend you. Okay, now I’m lying to you. I did mean to offend you, because I thought you were buried under a landslide and we needed a few rounds of explosives to get you out. I thought maybe there was a real you under all that crap.

And I was right! There is a real you and like I said, she kicks arse!
I see now that all the crap was for your teacher. Why didn’t you just say so? I did think maybe you had a bit of a thing for your teacher, like maybe you wanted to get into his pants. But I didn’t realize it was to do with your assessment.

Wow, if you can degrade yourself that badly, maybe you should get into his pants? Have you thought about asking if he would give you extra marks for a blowjob?

You’ve got to learn some pride, Ino.
You’ve got to make me proud of you.
Yours sincerely,
Shikamaru Nara

P.S. And you think I’m wetting myself because your daddy’s a partner in a law firm? Bite me, baby.



* * *


Hey Ten,

Okay.

Here’s the thing. How do I know you’re not a snake?
We need more then a couple of letters to establish that you can be trusted. Don’t get me wrong, you seem pretty cool, but if I’ve figured it out right, you also seem to be the daughter of a judge.

So what were going to do is, we’re going to do a few tests. If you can do these things for me, even though you might get caught, then I’ll know you are not Daddy’s Little Angel.

This is the first test:
It’s to set off my school’s fire alarm. That’s it. You might think it’s kind of unimaginative, but I haven’t got an imagination. You ask Radison. (That’s our English teacher)

The alarm has to go off straight after lunch on Tuesday next week, and it has to be serious enough that the whole school spends fifth period on the oval.

If you pass my tests, then I’ll know you’re not a snake.
Okay, and I’ll show my respect by obeying you too. You want me to tell you my dreams?

The dream I had last night was this: I was a kookaburra sitting up high in a eucalypt, with my feather camouflaging nicely into the bark, and way down on the ground I see a slither of something sharp. It’s a snake. So I move.

I move without stopping to figure out strategy. I don’t stop or think, I just fly. Straight down like a jet plane, heading for a crash landing in the grass, and next thing I’ve got the snake.

Then I fly it to the nearest rock so I can smash it against the rock until its dead. Then I rip open its middle and eat out its guts.

Cheers.
Neji


* * *

Sakura,
Why don’t you ask someone who I am?
And then ask what I do to people I don’t like?
S.U
Sasuke's Notebook by tikarina
Hey! You still with us? Still enjoying our questions?! In this part, we leave more room for your answers so you can spread your wings! A recurring theme will be “senses”. Tell us about your five senses!

Okay, well first you should try less open-ended questions. What do you want to know about my senses, exactly?

And second, you should know that I don’t even want to be an author. Like I said this “Notebook” was a present from my dad, and it makes him proud to think he’s gotten me a gift I’m actually using. Truth be told I really want to be an actor.

No Offense.

I’m in German right now, and this is what’s happening. Ms.Tyousina is getting off on humiliating this kid. She wanted him to write up the sentence, “if I had a donkey, I would ride it to school everyday.” And he’s written, “If I were a donkey, I would ride myself at school everyday.” Big deal, it’s close enough.

It’s weird the way some teachers are happiest when you make mistakes.

Tell us something surprising about your self. Are you a smoker? Or perhaps you are a sword fighter!

I can’t believe you know about my sword fighting. Who told you? So you also know how I spend a couple of hours each afternoon slaying dragon’s?

Actually, I’m not a smoker either. I used to be, but I quit last year because my girlfriend made me.

I was planning on being a chain-smoker because I like that word: “chain”. I like paper chains, chain letters, chain gangs, and chain mail. I wear a lot of chain mail for my sword fighting.

Temari made me quit smoking after they did antismoking at school. They showed us this ad, which has a girl putting a cigarette in her mouth and not realizing that the cigarette is a metal hook. You would surely realize. But anyway, the hook goes through the girl’s lip. Do you get it? Hooked. Brilliant.

But after that, Tem could never look at me with a cigarette without imagining the hook through my lip. She’s such a sucker for mind games.

Now tell me a little about yourself.

Write down a thought for the day.

Here’s a thought. It’s lunch. I'm hungry. And I’m eating.

Maybe I’ll finish this nice chat later
Autumn Term / Ino and Shika Part 1 by tikarina
Author's Notes:
=D
Dearest Shikamaru,

You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.

Yours,

Ino Yamanaka

P.S I decided to use this opportunity to practice my handwriting. As you can see, I am developing a highly eloquent style.

P.P.S I got a Secret Assignment yesterday and GUESS WHAT. I’m not going to tell you what it is.

P.P.P.S. I have to go now because you are wasting my TIME.

P.P.P.P.S. The next letter you get from me will be an empty envelope so be prepared for misery.

* * *

Dear Ino,

Check it out. I JUST SAVED THE LIVES OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL.
I’m on the oval right now, and I can hardly see this paper through my tears of life-giving joy.

See those girls sitting cross-legged and singing the theme song from Friends? They wouldn’t be doing that right now if it weren’t for me.

See that guy over there taking the shoelace out of one of his sneakers? Same thing. That girl picking her nose? SHE WOULD BE DEAD AND HER NOSE WOULD BE FULLY UNPICKED IF IT WAS NOT FOR ME.

That guy with the sneakers is now using the lace to strangle someone, which is a beautiful thing to see, Ino, and I made it possible, and that’s why you are blurry through my tears.

Okay, I’ll tell you what happened.

I was in the admin block, outside the principal’s office. I won’t go into reasons why I was there, because it would destroy the flow of the story. Fine, it had something to do with shadows and an overhead projector.

The fact is, I was there, and on my own because the secretary just went out for a moment, and the telephone rang.

So I answer the phone. “What?”
And this voice goes, “Hello?”
And I go, “Hello?”
And this voice goes, “What?”

So I go: “Western high school. How may I direct your call, please?”
As per what I hear the secretary say every time I’m waiting here.

Then this voices goes, “Yes, Hello, I’m with the local gas Authority and I’m calling from the basement of your school here. I’m just checking the main gas line and there is a serious leak here. Really. So serious that at any moment there could be an explosion. I myself am about to run to my car and get out of here, but I thought I should let you know so you can sound the fire alarm and get everybody out of the school and onto the oval.”

Check out how cool I was under pressure:
I just said, “ thank you very much, and get yourself out of there and save your own life.” Then I hung up, switched on the P.A system, and said,

“ THERE IS A GAS LEAK IN THE BASEMENT OF THE SCHOOL. THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC.IT IS JUST A GAS LEAK WHICH MAY LEAD TO AN EXPLOSION AT ANY MOMENT. ALL GO TO THE OVAL, AS PER THE FIRE DRILLS. WHAT A DRAG.”

Then I found the fire alarm and pressed the button.

So then of course the doors all around me open and the principal practically kills me to switch off the P.A, and somehow I landed on the office floor but I kept my dignity.

I hope they get everyone out of here, including the fish out of the school pond and the flying foxes from the attic, and the gas leak explodes and then the school is fully gone. Pffwt. (open your hands out wide to indicate that there’s nothing there anymore, as per your average magic trick.)

No more school.

Shikamaru



* * *

Shikamaru
THIS, AS YOU WILL SEE, IS AN EMPTY ENVELOPE.
Ino


* * *

Dear Ino,

Wow. You sure have a lot of resolution: I cant believe I sent you that whole story about being the savior of the future and you just sent me an empty envelope.

Technically, it wasn’t empty on account of your note in there about it being an empty envelope, but still, it was pretty close, Ino, and I’m proud of u girl.

I notice that you didn’t express any interest in what happened next, after the gas leak.
See you,
Shika


* * *

Shika,

THIS IS AN EMPTY ENVELOPE AGAIN.
YOURS SINCERELY,
Ino

P.S. I HAVE TO PUT IN THE NOTE ABOUT IT BEING AN EMPTY ENVELOPE SO YOU CAN FEEL THE TRUE MISERY OF THE EMPTYNESS. SO THEREFORE IT DOES NOT MAKE IT ANYLESS AN EMPTY ENVELOPE JUST BECAUSE THERE IS A NOTE.
Autumn Term / Ino and Shika Part 2 by tikarina
Author's Notes:
A thank you to Swords and Bandges.

Dear Ino,

Actually, i think it does make it less of an empty envelope, but I won't go into technicalities with you. How long are you going to keep up the empty envelopes? I am leaving school right this moment and I'm skipping my curry chicken pie to go see the cops at Castle Hill. i think they have to stop people who play cheap tricks - if we're always going out to the oval on account of gas leaks in schools without gas, that could be the end of education as we know it. And thefore the end of the future.

Shika
* * * *

Shika,

HERE IS ANOTHER EMPTY ENVELOPE. I WILL KEEP IT UP FOR MY WHOLE LIFE IF I NEED TO.

Ino.

P.S YOU STILL CAN'T EXPECT ANYTHING OTHER THEN MISERY OUT OF ME.

* * * *

Dear Ino,

I am wondering what i can do to expect anything besides misery out of you. It makes me feel depressed the way you keep sending misery to me. Like a kind of extra burden in my heavy life.
E.g of how useless i am. The way that i have got you so mad with me, and I don't even really know I did that. I was just mucking around when I suggested you give your English teacher a blow job back in my original letter of whenever that was. But maybe that was offensive?
I don't know. I'll make a confession to you. I've never had a girlfriend.
Once I asked a girl out on a date, and you've gotta wish you didn't have a supersonic memory when you experience something like thst.
So. I've got nobody to learn from, see? So, maybe, can you forgive me and stop sending me misery all the time?

Shika
* * * *

Dear Shika,

I was sending you misery because you were very offensive to me, tellling me I was an old lady and challenging my legal connections, etc. I am a sensitive girl, Shika. But, as you now see, I am also a nice and compassionate person, and I have sympathy for you because I get depressed myself sometimes. So therefore I have decided to stop sending you misery and give you a break.
This is on condition that you stop talking about me giving my English teacher a blow job, as that kina talk gives me a headache. Msybe you could tell me about the time you asked out that girl and I could give you ssuggestions on what you did wrong?

Ino
Autumn Term / Ino and Shika Part 3 by tikarina
Author's Notes:
HI.Im back , End of Year Testing had me out for awhile. This chapter is shorter then i planned but i thought even a little something was better then nothing. =D

R&R

tikarina *
Dear Ino,
I’ve got to say, you hit me for a six again. That was so nice of you to cheer me up, and I have got faith in humanity again. On my way to my history class the other day, I thought maybe the class was planning on giving me a surprise party, or at least a Mexican wave, to thank me for getting them out of doing the exam last week by hitting the fire alarm. I could hear shushing inside the room, like everyone getting ready for something. But when I got there it wasn’t to do with me, they were planning to scare the crap out of the teacher by hiding under the desks and then jumping out and screaming: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”


It wasn’t our teacher’s birthday as far as anyone knew, but he has a weak heart, and we were supposed to be doing the postponed exam. So I guess you live on hope. I’m waiting in the admin block again at the moment, so I’m using the opportunity to write to you. “Brookfield High School. How may I direct you call? No, sir, this is not a waste disposal unit, I’m afraid you have the wrong number.” That’s what the secretary is saying. I’ve noticed, in my times here in the admin block, that a lot of people seem to think Brookfield is a waste disposal unit. It must have a similar phone number.

We’ll as I said, I feel a lot better because of your kindness in your letter, and I will do what you suggest and tell you about the time I asked out this girl. It was last year, and it’s a girl in my science class. She’s not even that hot so I thought she would think it was reasonable for me to ask her out. She wears these cute hair clips all over her head, like in the shape of lady beetles and birds and things, and she also wears long white socks.

So, I’ve gone up to her and I’ve gone, “Hey how’s it hangin’?”

And she’s gone, “Up yours.”

And I’ve gone,”Woo-hoo, up mine, ehh? Nice one. Maybe we could go out some time so I can hear more of that humor of yours, ehh? Maybe a movie or something else of your choosing?”

Though I must say, I don’t think she was actually intending on being humorous.

And she’s gone; “Would you get lost before you put me into a coma?”

And I’ve gone, I’ve just gone.

I mean, I’ve got lost, as per her recommendation. So can you give me any advice on what I did wrong? I really appreciate it.

Thanks again, and Catch ya later.
Shika




* * * *



Dear Shika,
Well, for a start what you did wrong was ask out a girl with lady beetles in her head and long socks. A girl like that does not deserve to be asked out, or even to be alive.
The other thing you did wrong was that neither of you were drunk. You should always ask girls out when you are both blind, and so therefore you can’t see each other. Anyway, I’m in English at the moment, and I’m so hungry that I’m just going to take a painkiller. Excuse me.

Yours sincerely,

Ino
* * * *
Dear Ino, I appreciate your comments about the girl I asked out and I think you are an alcoholic. If you need alcohol to give you courage, that’s alcoholism.

Maybe you could give me some more advice on how to pick up chicks. You seem like a very experienced girl, I have to say, and kind of professional about life. There’s one girl my heart belongs to at the moment, but she’s just been taken by a class-A prick who happens to be captain of our form. He also gets himself the starring role in every drama the school puts on. I say being the guy-in-charge and a star should be enough for him. But no, he has to get Temari for his girlfriend as well. She is the hottest woman alive, I swear to you.


*


HEY.SORRY I had to stop then. The smoke alarm just went off and the sprinkler system turned on in our classroom. You won’t even be able to read this letter anymore because the ink’s all running, eh? I am soaking wet. The good thing about it is that we now don’t have to do our exam on South African geography. I’ve got go get a change of clothes or something.

Shika
* * * *
Dear Shika,
When you say, “pick up chicks” it, reminds me of “pick up sticks”, which is a game I used to play as a child. I do not think it is correct to refer to girls as colorful sticks in a pile on the floor, and so therefore don’t use that expression.

Also, I don’t think you should refer to a girl as the “hottest woman alive.” For one thing, it might be offensive to the girl you are writing to. How do you know the girl you are writing to is not the hottest woman alive? I am not saying that this is true, I am only giving you a hyperactive situation of how you might give offense. However you are very inexperienced and so therefore I will forgive you for now.

I think that I should give you some lessons on how you ask a girl out. And then you will be able to steal this girl who has your heart named Temari.
Yours truly,
Ino
* * * * *
Autumn Term // TenTen and Neji Part 1 by tikarina
Author's Notes:
A Special Thank You To:

Frosty
Miki Everless
AikoMatsuo
Swords and Bandages

For Reviewing
* * * * *
Dear Neji,

Huh, the computer just told me that it looks like I’m writing a letter. Spooky. How did it know? It wants to help. It’s a little paperclip man and it wants to help. That is so nice of it. I’ll try to talk to it.

YES PLEASE, PAPER- CLIP MAN. HELP MR WRITE THIS LETTER. WHAT SHOULD I SAY NEXT?

(It’s not saying any thing, Neji. It’s just smiling at me. Maybe it needs more information? Wait.)

DO YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION?

(It blinked at me.)

WELL, OKAY HERE IS SOME INFORMATION: THE LETTER IS TO NEJI. HE’S A GUY AT WESTERN AND HE WANTS ME TO PROVE THAT I’M NOT A SNAKE. ALSO, TO SHOW HIM THAT I’M NOT AFRAID OF MY FATHER. YOU LOOK CONFUSED! I KNOW, SO AM I. HOW IS IT HIS BUSINESS IF I’M AFRAID OF MY FATHER OR NOT? PARDON?
WELL, HE THINKS I WANT TO BUY DOPE OFF HIM. I KNOW! IT’S NOT HIS FAULT. HE’S JUST A WESTERN KID, AS MY TEACHER WOULD SAY. MAYBE THEY DON’T REALIZE WHEN PEOPLE ARE MESSING WITH THEM THERE? WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

(Sorry Neji. I’m just talking to my paperclip man here. I don’t mean to leave you hanging. Paper-clip man said I could get dope easy at Konoha, so why would I want someone from Western to send it to me? We had a good laugh about you.)

HUH REALLY?

(Hey, Neji, guess what he said? He said I should not bother writing to you; I should trash my bedroom and chuck this computer out my window. It seems profoundly excessive, doesn’t it? I’ll ask if he really means it.)

PAPER-CLIP MAN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL DIE IF I THROW OUT THE COMPUTER?!?! YOU ARE PART OF THE COMPUTER!!!

(Well, Neji, looks like he meant it, hang on and I’ll start trashing the room…)








I got you, eh. I wasn’t really trashing my bedroom; I was just getting my self some grilled-cheese-and-Vegemite-on-toast and some Orangensaft.

That’s German for Orange juice.

I’m at home from school today on account of the flu, and I’m writing this on my new computer, which was a birthday present from my parents.

You’re welcome to tell me more of your dreams, especially as they are like nature lessons. That dream of yours about the kookaburra killing the snake by hitting it against a rock? That was excellent, Neji.

Wait a minute; the paper-clip man is talking to me again. (He’s sitting on my shoulder now, eating a little bowl of strawberries and cream)

NO, PAPER-CLIP MAN! I’M SURE HE WASN’T TRYING TO THREATEN ME WITH THE DREAM ABOUT THE KOOKABURRA! HE WOULDN’T DO THAT! THAT WOULD BE CHILDISH AND STUPID! I’D NEVER WRITE BACK TO HIM!

Auf Weidersehen, TenTen


P.S You want me to make sure the alarm goes off at your school after lunch next Tuesday? I’ve got the perfect person for the job. If you need something, all you have to do is ask.

P.P.S But you have to do something for me too. What we’ll do is, we’ll take turns giving each other challenges and we’ll see who’s best at it. The winner will be selected to join an elite spy squad. I’ll choose the winner.



* * * * *



Dear TenTen,

Have you ever been committed?

You are tres confusing (don’t talk to me in German, okay, I do French and you’ll mess with my mind if you put another language in there).

Which bits of your letter are true?

Okay, fine, TenTen, you can be a freak, its funny. But can you give me a sign when you’re about to tell the truth?

I thought it was true that you wanted me to send you that stuff you wanted me to send you and I might’ve done that, you know, and I could’ve got in a whole lot of shit. And now it turns out you can get it easy at your school. Who from?

Just tell me this: that you’re serious about the school alarm. Can I trust you on that? Don’t screw me over, okay? I need that alarm to go off on Tuesday or I’m dead.

And we can do the challenges for each other, if you mean it about that. I’m up for that.

But you mean it right?

Neji

* * * * *


Dear TenTen,

It’s now Tuesday morning. I was hoping for a letter of confirmation from you, but maybe it’s kicking its may over as we speak. I’m guessing you’re back at school and not still at home with the flu? So I can trust you?

We need this plan straight through the goalposts with the goalie flying in the wrong direction. I want to hear that alarm sounding, TenTen, loud and clear as the Old Trafford crowd in the match against City. You with me?

Neji

* * * * *


TenTen,

I swear to God, you might think it’s funny being deceptive and tricky and stuff, but when people rely on you it’s what I call deadly serious. It’s fine for you looking all pretty in your frosted glass, but you just don’t think people who might not have frosted glass.

I'm just saying that there are now 5 minutes to period number 5 here and I don’t hear any alarm bells. I’m just saying you better forget about writing to me again because you know what? You let me down. You’ve gotta be able to trust people, and I thought maybe you weren’t like those other Konoha girls because you sounded kinda whacked out. But now I think you’re just like them, and maybe you’re a snake. I don’t know, TenTen, I’m not saying that you are.

Don’t start crying or anything because it’s not like me to be upfront like this unless I’m really mad, but well done. You’ve got me pissed. Maybe you’re still sick, but you should have let me know, okay. No offense, but your not a team player, Ten. You play mean, is what you do. You’re the kind of player who’s always doing hand balls because you don’t want to bother hitting the ball with your head on account of it might mess up your hair. That’s rich people for you all over. People rely on you Ten, and.

Well, beat me with a broomstick and call me Uncle Harry. (As my aunt likes to say.)


You did it.


The alarms going off right now, Ten, baby, and I just heard an announcement made by my good buddy Shika Nara telling us about a gas leak. There is no gas in this school, but that’s a fact that’s passes my good buddy by.

Jesus, Mary, and the other Guy, I am in love with you.

You are the most beautiful. Gorgeous, unbelievable girl in the country, and I am totally in awe of you.
You tell me a time and a place where we can meet, okay? I want to take you out to say thank you for this.

You Rock.

Neji


* * * * *



Dear TenTen,

Hey, what happened to you? It’s been like a week or something and I haven’t heard you back. I thought you were planning on sending me a challenge of your own?

Did I not thank you enough? I seem to recall that I told you that you were gorgeous and sexy or something like that. That’s good enough, isn’t it?

Where are you?

I miss your crazy talk. I really want to meet you in person.

Neji.

* * * * *



TenTen?


* * * * *


Dear Neji,

Do you understand that you can get out a new piece of paper if you change your mind about writing something?

TenTen
* * * * *
Dear Beautiful TenTen,

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it’s good to hear your voice again. I forgive you for being a freak, because I’m in love with you for making that happen with the alarm. That was a nice touch keeping me in suspense like that, but in the future you might want to think about my blood pressure. Meantime, I’m hanging to take you out to your favorite location and worship you for life.

You’re making me nervous by being so weird. But your weirdness is what I like about you,
Neji

* * * * *
Autumn Term // TenTen and Neji Part 1 1/2 by tikarina
Author's Notes:
Thank you:

vampirella
fuyuko
and
Vixkill

For Reviewing. Thank you so much for your support.


Dear Neji,

Actually, I think it’s fairly common for people not to like being called deceptive and a snake and a non-team player who never hits the ball with their head or whatever that soccer crap was about hand balls and messing up my hair and you say I’m the one who talks like a crazy person?

It’s actually not “weird” or “freakish” at all. To stop writing after being insulted.

And it doesn’t make it okay that on the next page you said you were in love with me. You wanted me to let you know when I was being serious. Okay, I’m letting you know. That letter pissed me off. You were making these assumptions about me, and imagining you knew you, and the fact is, Neji, you don’t.

And come on. Giving me a lecture because the alarm didn’t go off? You wanted to get out of an exam or something, Neji; I’m not a moron. Why didn’t you just skip school for the afternoon? Or actually do the exam?

Last year, when my friend Sakura came back to school after her father died. We had exams, and Sakura is not the exam type to begin with. And she couldn’t walk down a corridor without people spinning out of her way because they were afraid to look her in the eye.

Do you think she went around shouting at people about not being team players? And trying to get out of exams?


No. She just started straight ahead and wrote the exams.


Except for the science exams, because Ino and I decided she needed a break that say and took her to the movies.

You could some lessons in strength of character from Cass.

Best Wishes,

TenTen
P.S. Here is your challenge,


1. At 1 pm tomorrow, go to the refrigerator section of the Harvey Norman store in Castle Town.

2. You will see a huge cardboard polar bear carrying a sign, which says: “THIS WEEK ONLY! POLAR BEAR FRIDGES – GET THEM WHILE THEY’RE COLD!”

3. By 2 pm the huge cardboard polar bear just be standing outside the World of Pets pet shop. The sign should say: “THIS WEEK ONLY! POLAR BEARS! – GET THEM WHILE THEY’RE COLD!”

4. Send me a photo of this



* * * * *



TenTen,

The polar bear challenge?
Easy.

Neji


*


TO: TenTen Special Covert Operation Report

Agent: Neji H.
Aka: AKA*
*Stands for arse kicking agent

Special No.: 10101010101010101
Special Password: Sultana Bran with Banana thanks Mum

Experience: Task Force Operations in Indonesia, Korea, Russia, Iraq; local training in Baulkham Hills and Glenhaven

Special Mention: Instrumental in ending the Cold War; knocked over the Berlin Wall, etc

Pro: Black belt in tae kwon do; kick-arse soccer player; knows how to make up baby’s bottle with correct amount of formula; knows how to make baby smile by tickling baby’s chin with feather

Con: Memory Sucks so will sometimes say something in a letter and forget to throw letter away and start again


OPERATION

Operation Polar Bear
Assigned by Agent TenTen
Result: Successfully Completed ( See Photograph Attachment)


FIELD NOTES


Agent AKA wants to say sorry to Agent TenTen for letter where forgot to start again after sledging TenTen unfairly when Agent TenTen successfully completed Operation Alarm. See CON’s above.



* * * * *
End Notes:
You know what would be AWSOME? if ppl voted for TYOSA*.
Tikarina :D
Autumn Term // TenTen and Neji Part 2 by tikarina
Author's Notes:
Hey you guys,

I was think of having a little contest. Maybe feature the winner in a special chapter? I know some of you guys are talented artists ..etc,

Would you guys like that? Let me know ASP.

Tikarina =D

Dear Neji,


Okay,I forgive you. I always forgive people when they say sorry.

That was pretty cool operation you did. I take my hat off to you and bow down to the ground to the ground, but get those shoes away from me. I’m not kissing those shoes. You hear me? Are you kidding? GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! GET YOUR STINKING SHOES AWAY FROM ME!!

Sorry, I’m kinda of tired. It’s after midnight.
Are you really a black belt in tae kwon do?

It’s twenty to one, and I keep looking up from the computer to the window and seeing my own face, which is a shock. Especially when I catch a smile on my face, meaning I think I’m being funny.

But when I look past my own face I can see our back lawn with such gentle moonlight on it: so gentle, its like it’s afraid of touching.


My dad gave me a surprise today by getting my walls painted a kind of disgusting tangerine color, like a fake sunset. I’ve been saying I want to rip off the wallpaper and paint the walls myself, and my stupid father thinks he’s doing good by getting professionals in to paint while I was at school. He was so proud of himself.


“Dad,” I said. “ I wanted to paint them myself”
“TenTen,” he said. “ Is that a fact?”
“Yes,” I said. “It is a fact.”

I will now go to sleep.

TenTen


P.S. It’s your turn to give me an assignment now.



* * * * *




TO: Special Agent TenTen
From: AKA
Special Covert Operation Assignment
Assignment Description:


Set off smoke-alarm sprinkler system at Brookfield High, 11 AM, next Tuesday. This only has to happen in the classrooms along the second-floor balcony of the the northwest wing, but go ahead and make it happen along and make it happen in the whole school if you of the northwest wing, but go ahead and make it happen along and make it happen in the whole school if you prefer


Field Notes # 1

I’ve decided you get a yellow card every time you mess with my head. You’ve got one yellow card right now for the incident with the dope.

Field Notes # 2

Why don’t we meet somewhere in person? I could hand over the plans of the school or whatever you need for this assignment.



* * * * *
Hey Neji,


I don’t think we should meet in person. That would compromise special operations.

You should just admit that you’re to get out of exams or whatever it is. Or are you so concerned about your fellow human beings that you want to test the fire system?

What I think should happen is, you should choose special operations which are a LITTLE bit less self-centered and more socially oriented.

TenTen



* * * * *
Dear TenTen, Yeah, you’ve got a point there, I should think more of people- focused assignments.

Example: I could get you to put a polar bear sign outside a pet shop. I’ve got to say; I felt my spirit soar when I shifted that sign for you. Knowing what I was doing was for humanity.

Let’s just say this. I would never stoop so low as to exploit special operations to get out of exams, and you should be ashamed of yourself for your doubt. Trust me, Ten, there’s a significant reason why I asked you to set off the school alarm and why I’m now asking for the sprinkler system, etc. one day you might even find out what that reason is.

I’m think about getting out another yellow card for you right now, for your suspicions, and you know what a second yellow card means? It means a red card.

What I reckon should happen is, you should buy me a coffee to apologize for the slander of my character.

Neji


* * * * *



Hey Neji,

Shut your mouth, exam boy.

Ten


TO: Neji aka Agent AKA
Special Covert Operation Report

Operation Sprinkler System
Assigned by Agent AKA
Result:
Successful

FIELD NOTES

Too easy.
* * * * *
Dear TenTen,

You are as beautiful as the Irish equalizer by Robbie Keane in injury time in the Ireland v. Germany game, World Cup, 2002, Korea

I have now got a kick-arse cold from the sprinkler water falling on my head. That’s my only complaint; you could have made it start just before I got into the room. But I swear to you it is the most beautiful cold I ever had.

Why can’t we meet in person for you to give me the next assignment? We could see a movie and you could give me the assignment while the previews are on.

Neji

* * * * *
Dear Neji,

Why would I want to meet you when you have a cold? I could catch the cold.

I can’t concentrate right now because Ino and Sakura are on either side of me having a loud argument about what whales sound like when they’re singing. They’re giving a lot of examples to support their own arguments, which is really making people stare.

I’ll interrupt them to ask them what causes colds (I’m pretty sure it’s not sprinkler systems)

It was difficult to get them to stop talking, but soon as I did Sakura had an answer. She said colds travel around on the fur of rats, and that is what caused the plague and she’s not surprised that people at Western have colds because it’s rat infested.

Ino said that people get colds when they walk around with their mouths open.


So shut your mouth, Neji, and you’ll be fine.


Okay, I’ve thought of an assignment for you.

Well, we always go to the movies on Thursday after lunch, and what we do is, we take the path though the reserve behind the school to get to the station. Do you know the reserve? People go there at lunch to smoke up or buy drugs, so you probably know it. Also, people jog there all the time. But whenever I hear running footsteps behind me I think it’s someone chasing us. Like to arrest us. Even though I know its just a jogger.

So this is the assignment.

1. Go to the reserve and tie purple ribbons around as many branches of the trees as you can.

2. Try to do it by lunchtime Thursday.


> Hope that’s enough notice for you.


TenTen



* * * * *




Hey Ten,

I did the ribbon thing for you. Very weird request.

Is it okay if I send you my next special task now? It’s urgent.

This is it.


TO: Special Agent TenTen
From: AKA
Special Covert Operation Assignment
Assignment Description


Think up a way to stop me from having to do my science exam on Wednesday. The science teacher is the Rattler if that helps. Also known as the Rattlesnake. Maybe you want to kill him?


FIELD NOTES # 1

Okay, you broke me down. These are exam-avoidance techniques. I cant think of any other way to disguise them.
* * * * *





Dear Neji,

I forgive you for the exam thing because I knew it all along. Also because I loved the ribbons around the trees in the park. Thank you v.v much.

I’ve found the right person for you next assignment. Don’t worry about studying for the science exam.

But I don’t see how this helps you. In the end, you’ll have to do the exams, right? So why do you keep putting them off?

TenTen
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Dear TenTen, You STOLE THE EXAM PAPERS FROM HIS CAR????? How did you even know what kind of car he drives? You rock. You realize that’s THREE challenges you have succeeded in without a single thing going wrong? This time you have to let me take you out to say thank you. I’m not accepting a no. Your No. Fan
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End Notes:
Oh, im allso looking for a Beta Reader.Im thinking of a trade off. You beta read this story ill beta yours? i think thats fair =D
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