"Tobi, I am a boy, un."

"No you are not."

"Yes I am, un."

And so, today began as any other day in the Akatsuki hideout: Deidara convincing another member that he is a boy. Today was Tobi's turn.

"Go ahead Tobi, have at him," Hidan encouraged evilly, knowing that once Tobi was set on something, he would keep at it. Until he got a cookie.

"YOU"RE NOT HELPING, UN!!" Diedara yelled.

"That time of the month?" Sasori asked, causing Deidara to blush a fierce shade of red and Hidan to spurt the milk he was drinking all over the kitchen counter. Yes, even devil worshippers drink some vitamin-D.

Unfortunately, Kakuzu was also in the way, from which ensued a lot of running and yelling and objects being thrown. Deidara turned to a stunned Sasori.

"I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra ryou, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide, hn. Anything else you want to ask? Hn?"

(AN: Uhh i don't remember which one of my friends i heard that from but oh well lol)

Sasori twitched. "Umm, I don't want to even know."

"Good! Now- " Deidara was cut off by his cell phone ringing. "Oh, it's a text from Itachi.

'It is 3am here, and I'm at a ramen shop with the others. Pain is throwing up on himself, Konan is crying hysterically, Kisame is passed out on the table and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up the skirt our dear fish-boy is wearing. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.'"

(AN: that too.)

Deidara looked up and stifled a laugh, "Pain sent this to me from the phone he only uses when he gets high on LSD."

"I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

Upon hearing that, Sasori and Deidara looked over to Tobi to find him hugging a cookie.

Deidara's eye twitched. "WTF! Tobi! How many times have I told you not to hug the cookies, un?!"

Tobi held a hand over his mask covered mouth. "Oopsie! Sorry, sempai!"

With that, he ran out of the room, the cookie still in his hand. Zetsu appeared a few moments later ( |o--*/| ).

"What was Tobi doing? Why would he profess his love to a pot cookie?" asked the white half of Zetsu.

"Umm.. Pot cookies?" Sasori asked.

"Well," the black side of Zetsu said, "Pot brownies were so last year, and you guys needed cheering up… ssooooo….."

Diedara exploded, figuratively of course. "YOU GAVE TOBI DRUGS?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, UN?"

Zetsu flinched and disappeared, muttering things about everyone being a bunch of PMS-ing emo's, which cued Itachi's entrance.

"Hi, guys," he said, dabbing his eye with a tissue in one hand and a fluffy Hello Kitty pillow clutched to his chest in the other hand. The pillow was nowhere near as weird, though, as the hot pink Barbie pajama set he wore. "What's all the noise about?"

"Umm…. 'Tachi? Why is your voice all funny?" Kisame asked, sitting beside Sasori, who jumped.

"Wh-when did you get here?"

"Umm… I've been here for a while."