Alright. That was interesting... but awesome all the same! I'm so excited to find out how the next chapter unfolds! What I like about this story is that it doesn't follow the original plot, so you don't know what happens next. You made it so the appearance of a sibling really shook things up, which is great! I absolutelty adore the ending to this chapter, just because of the 'doomed' part, and it makes you imagine what might happen later on!

Very well written overall. Getting different perspectves to the same situation is a great way of elaborating, and you're getting the personalities down pretty well, I'd say! I'd like it a lot if Kyoko and Sasuke's relationship blossomed a little... I can understand if you want to wait until they're 16 or something, but it would be awesome if they could at least become more friendly before the whole "Sasuke Retrieval" arc thing...

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I've been reading the whole time and always seem to be waiting impatiently for the next chapter! They just go by too quickly! Keep up the great work! ~F&I