Hmm... my reviews always end up being overly analytical or no help at all (usually the second) but I'll try my best to find a happy medium.

I'm not very familiar with Naruto fanfiction to comment on your idea/ship and its originality so I wont go into that but I do think that the little grammar errors or misplacement of words took away from the story. If you cleaned those up, the fic would be a much better and continuous read in my opinion.

Also, I realize that you are dealing with SSP here and that smut is certainly a big aspect of it but I often find expletives or course language to ruin the overall effect of a fic instead of emphasizing it. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against swear words. Indeed, I find them a wonderful way to highlight a situation but you know what they say about using everything in moderation.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to bash your fiction, just thought I would mention a few pointers that might help you write better in the future. As a writer, i know I would appreciate constructive criticism.