Reviews For Dear Untitled,
Name: baxter54132 (Signed) · Date: 23/04/12 - 08:43 pm · For: Chapter 1
Yeah Out Of Character haha.... It was good that you warned, would have been better if you had edited instead :P
Author's Response: I wrote it on 2007, what did you expect? ;)
Name: Rowanrose (Signed) · Date: 23/04/12 - 07:12 pm · For: Chapter 1
Haha, that was a nice idea! I liked the idea, but Neji was a bit OOC. Also, the POV shifts were confusing; maybe all those many shifts were too much? I think the style itself was third person all knowing, so perhaps the POV shifts weren't needed. One last thing - the convo between Neji and Inner Neji was slightly confusing. I think you've got dialogue down pretty well, but your scenes are kind of awkward and don't flow well; perhaps rewriting would help? Also, it helps to read your chapters aloud; you notice things more easily.
Good luck! Nice to meet you! ^^
Name: Silvercatninja13 (Signed) · Date: 23/04/12 - 04:12 pm · For: Chapter 1
I liked it! Good job!