First off - I am sorry for taking a week to get to this, but I'm behind in other stuff, so yeah.......
The description, like always, is absolutely stunning. I can imagine everything as vividly as usual, and I absolutely love it. I didn't realize until I read this that I had been missing your writing. It's so awesome.
I like Hitomi, both because it's the name of a character I may use and just because of her personality. Or, well, what I have gathered of it so far. And she kinda reminds me of Hinata, my favorite female character. So yeah - more bonus points.
All in all, I really did enjoy this chapter and look forward to when I get the chance to read more. For now I want to TRY to work on Tori Kago.
Author's Response: Frankly every time I reread this review it highlights for me exactly how much trouble I was having last year. Oh, don't you dare feel bad about it. This was great feedback! It just makes me laugh, is all, and it's good to laugh, isn't it? It's just that Hitomi should really not have reminded anyone of Hinata. I'll have to slowly fix that in later chapters... and that gives me an opportunity to play around a little bit and work with my reader's minds a little - which is frankly awesome.
So yeah, thank you for an awesome review. It turns out this was exactly what I needed to hear. ;0)
:3 I like Goro, he's very entertaining. Just hearing him talk makes me laugh, his dialogue is really just very humorous.
Yoshiko is quite the flirt, ain't she? Though she was a bit harsh in reference to that girl... speaking of which, what is up with her O_O She kinda scares me, but I think perhaps she's like that from trauma? Whatever the issue with her is, I wonder how her role will be in the story, now that she's moving to Suna and all...
Very interesting update, Batty Onee-chan. I'm hoping for more soon, though I know life can be really stressful. I hope everything is okay. Keep up the good work with your writing!
Author's Response: Yes, I swear Goro parts always end up bigger and bigger with more and more dialogue just because he entertains me so much while I'm writing. ;0) Originally he wass supposed to be a very minor character who disappears soon, but I'm not sure if I can actually bare to let him go.
He's partly based on a very similar character in my novel that I never seem to get around to working on, but these slightly crazy old men just seem to work for me. They always end up outshining everything else I do. ;0)
And yes, I'm hoping to write more soon as well. Although Star Angel has priority and after that I've got to finish that SWB chapter I'm half-way through...
Aww, Hitomi... I feel bad for her. It stinks when the guy you like doesn't even glance at you.
Gaara has grown to be quite the stern leader. Good for him. It's one of the things I like about him, that he can be serious and earn respect without trying too hard. You do very well with writing about him.
Awesome job, Batty Onee-chan! I loved this! I've really missed reading your stuff. I hope you update soon.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I always look forward to your reviews actually. You do such a great job making feel my hard work is appreciated. =0D
I'm really glad Gaara came off well too. It would really suck if I couldn't even manage my personal favourite properly, wouldn't it? That reminds me! I really ought to do some Kiba sometime for you. I don't think I ever have so far...
Gosh, I cannot believe I missed this! What is wrong with me?!
Well anyway, I really liked the comedy! I love funny dialogue, it's always so fun to read :D I like Goro, that's all I have to say about that :P
Overall awesome chapter! Keep up the great work, Batty!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. What a lovely thing to say. I like Goro too. He was fun to write. Don't worry about missing things. I'm sure you'll pick back up on them later on. Sometimes people are just busy or something. ;0)
Hehe, well, what can I say? This was mostly very funny. Goro is quite the character, I quite like him.
You set up the scene very well, I really enjoy your writing. I really should go look at SWB... But anyway, I really liked this chapter, I look forward to more. Great job!
Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you! I'm used to people (with the exception of silverwolf, Sasaui and Demon Fox) just giving me one review and then not again for ages, even if they have read the new installments, so I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you reviewed again. Thank you so much! That's really, really kind of you.
Yes, this installment was quite lighthearted. As you can imagine things are likely to get darker as the plot thickens, but I wanted to start on a high-note to have something to contrast with later, if that makes sense. I'm glad you like my writing... and I would be flattered if you read any of my other stories - but please don't feel like you have to just because I mentioned them. I'm very happy just from your kind words about this one. Thank you again!
Okay, here come my poors (you'll see what I mean)
Poor Kankurou. I mean, seriously, every girl he's liked? All of them have something that's kept him from them. Well, that first one mentioned was the one that was the worst since she chose it. But the the other died and the last likes Gaara more than him. I really hope that he finds someone since your Character things shows she'll be with Gaara. Man, that's just not fair to them. And just one thing: At least nine marriages? *sighs while shaking head in exasperation*
Poor Gaara. I mean, seriously, I'm not one hundred percent sure what the talk is (I'm pretty sure, about 95.92 percent sure, but not 100 percent sure), but I still feel bad for him if he has to be told it again. Either way, it was funny =D.
Poor kids. They're stupid enough to think they can do that to Temari and not get hurt. They must need mental help.
And finally, poor Shikamaru. I mean, seriously! That is just the cruelest things in this chapter. SHE TOOK HIS SHOGI BOARD! SHE'S AN EVIL WITCH!!!
Okay, now that I'm mostly done being, well, what I see as weird, I'm going to tell you this: THIS WAS SO AMAZING!!!! I give it eight thumbs up (if you find anyone with that many thumbs, tell me, because I still can't find anyone). I absolutely loved this chapter. It was, as Silverwolf said (not in exact words, though), a good contrast to the kinda sad farewell between the two friends the previous chapter. As usual, you write as if you're in their minds, making it that much more mind blowing. Okay, you know what? That's it. You're stories have blown my mind too many times for me not to do this. You so deserve it.
FOR EXPLANATION, CHECK OUT MY PROFILE.
Author's Response: Thank you! Oh wow... I feel honoured you gave me your award. I do.
I'm surprised you hate Kankurou's exes so much. I think he and the first one just gradually grew apart, you know... It's sad, but it happens. I can't blame her myself if she just honestly didn't love him (in a romantic sense) anymore, but then those are just my feelings about it. It's always really interesting to hear other people's so please keep telling me them.
To be honest I would have put Kankurou/OC as well as Gaa/OC on the character things though. It's just that there didn't seem to be an option for that. I'm still not entirely sure whether Gaara or Kankurou will win the romantic tug-of-war here (I mean, I know the plot obviously, but I just haven't decided on that one point yet). I'm waiting to see how it plays out before I pick.
And yes, poor Shikamaru! =0) I'm sure he found a way of getting it back eventually though. ;0)
*jaw drops* What the heck... Goro is trying to encourage Kankurou about his love life when he's had at least nine marriages?! I don't know if I should call that hypocrisy or just a guy who gets around...
Anyway, the conversation was actually really funny. But poor Kankurou... I nearly started banging my head against the desk as he listed off the girls who he dated and are no longer with. Poor guy...
But at least Temari and Shikamaru are doing well... with their two daughters. Gosh. I didn't know they were so OLD! Gaara is twenty-six? Jeez, time sure flies by.
Anyway, this was a wonderful setup for the story. Some lightheartedness to contrast the prologue's semi-sad atmosphere. Two friends depart in the prologue, and another two reunite in this chapter. It's a nice juxtaposition so far.
Nice job with this chapter. I really enjoy this story so far, so I definitely hope for more. But I know how busy your writing schedule is, so I'm always content with whatever you post :D Keep up the amazing work with your writing, BattyBigSis!
Author's Response: Hahahahaaa. Nah, Goro-san is afterall a desert Nomad. I suspect a lot of his wives died in childbirth or of other medical complications when they were too far away from a hospital to get help... or bandit attacks or something. I imagine Goro himself is quite a good husband all things considered and I can't see his marriages being unhappy. I just can't see it in him.
This story is set a good ten years ahead of the current storyline (as you've worked out), so - yes - everyone is rather older than you're used too. ;0) Just under thirty: about the sort of age in fact were people start worrying less about their shinobi exploits and start having more of the sort of conversations we see in this chapter, I imagine.
My eyes are burning because as I was reading this, my face kept inching closer and closer to the computer screen.
My goodness, I love this so far! It was a wonderful beginning to a story I'm sure will not fail to entertain us readers.
Author's Response: Oh - I hope your eyes got better soon. Thank you for such a lovely review and I hope you enjoy the new update!
Oh wow, I've never really read a horror genre story. This is very original.
The beginning was so descriptive. I could just picture what was going on as though I was actually watching it.
I can't wait until you update because I would love to continue reading.
Author's Response: Neither have I that was one of the reasons I was so interested in writing one. It seemed like a real challenge and I love a challenge. Thank you for your review and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!
Oh my gosh, a horror story! That's awesome! I'm excited for that, I really like scary and spooky things! And with your awesome writing, it'll be just like watching an amazing scary movie! XD
The summary was so cool, and the introduction already has me wanting to find out about the baby. I'm so eager to read more, keep up the awesome work, Batty!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I'm excited for such an interesting challange as this story is going to present for me. I hope it doesn't disappoint you!
I... really enjoyed this, surprisingly. No offense, I'm just not much of a horror story person. Violence, I enjoy, but horror? Normally not up my alley. Yet, the simple summary really caught me, and I couldn't NOT check this out.
I know there was hardly any horror in the first chapter, but with such a simple yet elaborate layout, I am already in suspense. You're an excellent writer, let me just say. Even those side characters (wife, grandmother) had such a vivid description that I was shocked. Authors usually never touch on people merely passing through, and I really appreciate the fact that you did so.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you love the desert. Or at least the Sand Village. Not because of Gaara (though that may very well be the reason), but your description of the setting was so beautiful. I wouldn't have thought that the scorching hot desert could hold so much beauty. Just shows you how close-minded I am.
The Kazekage... wow, what a wonderfully accurate portrayal of him. I really enjoyed how much effort you put into him. As for the father and his daughter... I am in so much suspense. I really can't wait to see what happens to them.
Excellent job with this, BattyBigSister. You've caught my attention with merely one chapter. I look forward to more, keep up the amazing work!
Author's Response: I have a deeply engrained love of nature, in all and any of its forms, certainly, but I have to plead guilty to Gaara being the main driving force behind my current fascination with the desert and Sunagakure. It's broadened out a bit from there certainly, but everything with me comes back to our favourite red-haired Kazekage. Besides I spend so much of my time describing things from his perspective it would be hard not to have an appreciation for the things he loves.
I'm surprised you felt so strongly about the description here though. Personally I felt it had been somewhat toned down, especially if you compare it to the start of SWB (my other story) for example. I hope you enjoy the new chapter!
hmm, interesting I'm not sure where this is headed but, I'm exited to see what happens next!
Author's Response: Well, then I've done my job. I'd hate for you to guess the whole plot from the prologue. I hope you enjoy the new update. =0D
Wow. Just wow. This was amazing. I absolutely loved it! I'm wondering how it will be a horror story, but no matter how scary it is, I'll keep on reading. Your writing is just so amazing. Your story (well, all your stories) are just plain amazing. There's nothing that you can do that will make my opinion on that change. Well, you didn't say that there was, but I still wanted you to know that. I'm so looking forward to reading more. It's making me really want to write Tori Kago. Sheesh, the fact that neither you or Silverwolf knew about that makes me feel old even though both of you are older than I am.
Author's Response: A bit of a slow start on the scary I admit, but it does get better (I hope). There's a new installment ready, which I added last night, but thank you for such a lovely review!
A horror story?! This is a horror story?!.... Darn, I rarely ever read horror stories, but if it's written by you, then I know it has to be good. So I must continue reading when you update!
This was a really good start. Two close friends, now separating.... The one man seemed very heartfelt while the Kazekage was just, well, his normally cold self for part of this. It makes me wonder how the two could be friends...
Ah, I wonder what will happen! It was such an informing intro, without really portraying too much at all. XD I need to know more now. Keep up the wonderful work, BattyBigSis!
Author's Response: Yes, it's a horror story. I felt rather the same way when I realised I wanted to write one - but it's something really new to me and a truely exciting challenge, so I couldn't resist. I'm glad you liked the prologue and i hope you'll like the new installments.