Reviews For ~Angel or Devil?~
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 07/04/12 - 05:45 pm · For: Heart ache
Wow, this was such a heartbreaking chapter for Naomi. I felt so sad for her...
This is so upsetting! I love NaruHina, but I think Naruto and Naomi would be really sweet together too! Gah, so many conflicting feelings!
Great work on this! There were some mistakes, but this was still awesome anyway. Keep up the good work!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 31/10/11 - 07:59 pm · For: Sister, Siter
Wow, nice. Amazing insight to Naomi's family life; it appears there is more to her than meets the eye. I look forward to hearing more about her troubled life.
It is so freaky that she has something in common with Sasuke... Then again, I guess there would be no story if they weren't similar.
Meanwhile, Naomi is slowly discovering her feelings for Naruto. I can't wait to see how she deals with it.
Great update! I enjoyed every moment if it. Keep up the awesome work!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/07/11 - 05:18 am · For: Romeo and Juliet
First off, yay for the update! :D
Okay, so I think it was a really good idea to insert the Romeo and Juliet thing in the beginning. Foreshadowing, I love it :)
And then, of course, the Naomi and Sasuke scene was so intense, it gave me chills. I was always worried something would happen after he pretty much scared the crap out of her. I wonder what else will happen between them O_O
Aw, Naomi and Naruto are so cute. I love that little blonde kid, he's so sweet :)
Great update! Keep up the good work with this! Glad to see you got through your writer's block :D
Name: Fire_and_Ice (Signed) · Date: 24/07/11 - 08:58 pm · For: Romeo and Juliet
Yaay! Thank you for the update! It was great, I really like your writing! :) Please update again sooon~!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 10/04/11 - 01:00 pm · For: Someone Special
Yaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! You updated!!!!! Time to celebrate!
Anyways, I really really liked this chapter. Naomi's feelings are very relateable in terms of trying to figure out who is the right guy. And the scene with Sasuke and Naomi working together was very unnerving. I felt so bad for her, and I wanted to slap Sasuke for being so cold-hearted towards her.
But yeah, this was a great chapter. And I'm very happy you had time to update. Keep up the good work in your writing, and I hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Yeah, sorry about that. It's just thatwe've been having family issues but now thats over with so I can dedicate my time to writting now! :D And I've been also writting a new story so yeah, I've been working on that also. But I should be posting more often
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 30/12/10 - 01:42 pm · For: Enemies Since Childhood
This story is so good. This fic is developing so well. I need you to update soon because I want to read more fluff between Naruto and Naomi! Please hurry with the next chapter!
Name: MIngWei (Signed) · Date: 19/12/10 - 08:51 pm · For: Enemies Since Childhood
I really enjoyed reading this; hope you update soon! ^_^
Name: BloodyWolfFangs (Signed) · Date: 10/12/10 - 08:08 pm · For: First Day Of School
Thank you! Its finally not a story where they fall in love in the first chapter!!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 25/10/10 - 01:59 pm · For: Enemies Since Childhood
Really great chapter, luna45! It's a great story and I can't wait for the next update, which I hope is soon. I can't wait to see if Naomi and Naruto's relationship gets a bit stronger than just friends.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 11/10/10 - 05:02 pm · For: Once Friends?
Woah. Naruto probably shouldn't have added the last comment, but, well, people usually do stupid things. But they were pretty mad. Anyway, great story/chapter. I can't wait to read more of it!
Name: Swrestler12 (Signed) · Date: 11/10/10 - 03:54 pm · For: Chapter 1
I am enjoying this story very much. I like it and am looking forward to more
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 21/09/10 - 03:03 pm · For: First encouter
I say it's going good so far. This chapter was interesting to read and there being no spelling errors or grammar errors I could find is a plus.
I'm curious to see how Naomi developes as a character in this particular setting, for you see I have some friends that are homeschooled and know what's it like. I find it amusing to how things seem new to them where it's normal for me but, well I've been in public schools all my life so its okay.
Mah, tangines...the beginning of anew...Good job any way and keep up the good work, I'd like to see where the relationships that Naomi is gathering go. Keep writing my fellow author!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 20/09/10 - 06:25 pm · For: First encouter
Great chapter, Luna45. I really liked it, and I also wonder what Sasuke means. Please write more soon, because I love the story. I usually don't like real life narutofics, but yours is great! Oh, and could you read my new story, Cursed Saint?
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 17/07/10 - 07:17 am · For: The Hell Children
I loved this chapter, Luna45! I hope you write more soon, because it's a great story. I'll be eagerly awaiting for the next chapter.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 14/07/10 - 07:36 am · For: First Day Of School
Great chapter, Luna45. I can't wait to read the next one. BTW, the stories are (you can choose which one to read and no, you don't have to read all of them) Sasaui Uchiha-12 chapters. Tori Kago-2 chapters. Never Too Late-1 chapter
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 13/07/10 - 09:21 pm · For: Chapter 1
I really liked it. I can't wait to read more. Think you could read my story? You don't have to if you don't want to. I was just wondering if you could. Oh, but I see a lot of places missing periods and stuff.
Author's Response: Thanks! :D and sure I can read your story, what's the name of it?
Name: Nejisgirl (Signed) · Date: 13/07/10 - 07:15 pm · For: The Hell Children
i like this sory alot! good job. pls keep on writing! XD
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm working on the next one right now!
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 12/07/10 - 09:49 pm · For: The Hell Children
Hm....I like this setting very much. I like your idea of a high school setting, it reminds me of this book series called Charlie Bones. You should read it, it's good.
Mah, besides that; I do find it interesting how you introduced the sound ninja group (that's who most of them are)....I wonder who next will you introduced? Probably the sand siblings correct? That's going to be interesting to read indeed.
Well, I've not seen any spelling errors or grammar problems. I find the chapters flow decent and smooth so thumbs up to you mate! d^^b
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 04/07/10 - 03:10 pm · For: First Day Of School
This is much better! I like the competive nature with those boys; it's very kawaii, =D. I feel very content with your progress, so keep up the good work!
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 04/07/10 - 03:04 pm · For: First Day Of School
This is much better! I like the competive nature those boys got. It's kawaii, =D. I feel very content with this, so keep up the good work!
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 29/06/10 - 09:43 pm · For: Chapter 1
Okay on the 2nd mistake; the character describtion, you didn't give one where you were describing her.
The site for beta readers is www.perfectimagination.co.uk-good luck finding one.
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 28/06/10 - 08:10 pm · For: Chapter 1
Well, I like the idea for the story. It's a familar one but, has a different twist in it. I do find some flaws to it though. So, I'll tell them first so I can get to the postive remarks.
The first problem I see is a common mistake most new writers make on this site. It's kind of amusing to see the same mistake being made from one degree to the next. But, it's still a mistake needing to be corrected. What I'm talking about is the spacing of the sentences; I do like the way you set up the story. It's a common way here on TONFA, but please double space so that the lines don't seem to well be in one long blob. That's the best way I can describe the feeling/problem I see with no double spacing.
The second one is that I can figure the description of your OCC is difficult or hard to figure out but, you do need to have one in if you're going to mention it. Putting (blah) is annoying and confusing and not a good idea to do. In each chapter you release, you need to make sure that it's at least acceptable to read and understandable to some extent.
The last problem I see is a sure toughy with many writers of all levels; getting the in depth look on the story and it's assets. What I'm saying is that it feels somewhat vague and general in some places to me and I think you could add more to it. Background on the character, details on the enviroment, personal thoughts from the characters; general things like those. I noted you did some of this, but I'm just saying that it could be better.
Reading aloud and sharing with others is a good way to get a real good feel on your story and how well it appeals to thee said reader. That is where beta readers become extremely helpful and I can send you a site that hooks up beta readers to writers if you wish.
Now moving on from the critism I feel was the best one I've been nice to all day. I do like how the boys are fighting over the said new girl and how Naruto hopes to have a shot at her. I do like the semi-spense with the Sasuke deal and the info given. It's pretty good basic info which is acceptable to most readers (note I'm not that kind of said reader). In all I have a good feeling about your story and have high hopes for you.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review & yes I would like the website about the beta readers & also I kinda don't get the second mistake I made.Thanks again for the review