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Rated: 18 [Reviews - 136]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Sasuke and Naruto
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 18 | Completed: No | Word count: 25671 | Read count: 5045 [Report This]
Published: 29/12/06 | Updated: 04/06/07
Date: 14/10/07 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18
that was amazing^^ i loved the whole thing^^
Rated: [Reviews - 18]
I couldn't help it. I had to write another Hin/Sas story.
Category:
Characters:
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 | Completed: No | Word count: 3963 | Read count: 12177 [Report This]
Published: 27/05/07 | Updated: 02/09/07
Date: 18/01/08 Title: Chapter 6: Say it
oooo i like, plz update soon >.
Rated: 15 [Reviews - 12]
Category: MadFic > Parody
Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha
Genres: General, Humor, Parody
Warnings: OOC
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 | Completed: No | Word count: 3791 | Read count: 5381 [Report This]
Published: 30/01/08 | Updated: 02/04/08
Date: 31/01/08 Title: Chapter 1: Sketch 1: Not Your Normal Night of Theatre!
ah, the 16 ton weight! will you also be teaching us how to defend ourselved against fresh fruit?
I think it a great idea!
Author's Response: Maybe. Depends on how the coming weeks flow. Thanks for the support, I\'m trying to have it be at least fifty percent original material or more, but I might pull a few gags from Python.
Date: 01/02/08 Title: Chapter 2: Sketch 2: The World Emo Championship
I'll be as direct as i can, while not being a compleat bitch; as an EMO myself, this chapter commes off as a little offensive. i mean, i know it's all joking, but it's overly streo-typical(not to mention the over-kill).again, i know it's just a joke, but i've seen a little too much of this kind of stuff. so i hope you'll keep this kind of stuff in mind when you write more.
Author's Response: Srry \'bout that. Don\'t worry, emo jokes aren\'t the only thing in my arsenal. I\'ll keep this in mind later.
Date: 28/03/08 Title: Chapter 3: Sketch 3: Owl Stretching Time
lol XD love that last part
Author's Response: I\'m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!
Rated: 15 [Reviews - 1]
Category: OC-centric, General Fiction > Naruto Shippuuden
Characters: Akatsuki, OC
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Death
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: No | Word count: 1780 | Read count: 1726 [Report This]
Published: 03/08/08 | Updated: 03/08/08
Date: 05/08/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One
Well it's not a bad start, but there wasn't much of an introduction to the main character. Also, you made this a second person fic and it's a lot harder to read and write. There aren't many descriptions either, it's harder to visualize the story.
The structure of the story seems cluttered and nothing is isolated, it's easy to loose your place. Things like the diary entry should be isolated so it won't be confused with the rest of the text.
I also feel like you over-used Deidara's "un." it doesn't need to be at the end of every sentence.
I'm sure if you try to improve on these things it will be much easier to read.