- A Song-Fic -
Used to be the most simple man
I used to be so predictable. Everyone knew what interested me, what I wasn't keen on, where I'd like to spend my days, where I'd go to spend my nights. And the infamous collection of books I loved writing.
But they didn't know ME. The ME which defined me. The ME who I truly am and not who I made people think I was.
We all used to talk and used to share
The knucklehead was the only one I taught, the only one I cared to share myself with – My memories, my techniques, my warnings, my strengths, and my weaknesses.
And there was a point in my life – actually two points - where my crazy crush with that brassy blonde started and where it ended, which was just a few days ago. I used to do ridiculous stuff just to make her notice me, just to make her pay attention to me, and after a few years, to draw attention away from that white-haired lover of hers.
We may feel like acting crazy
I loved pulling crazy pranks. It reminds of the knucklehead. He indulges in inane antics just so that people would notice him, a lot like what I used to do. He tries to impress that teammate of his with the bubblegum-pink hair, just like I used to do with my brazen teammate. But, at least, I knew there was no one who was watching me, no one who cared about me, no one who…loved me. But he does have someone. He just doesn't know. He doesn't try to notice.
But I have.
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So you are, so we are
I know. I know I'm crazy. After chasing after a certain blonde, blue-eyed stunner, whose good-looks everyone was oblivious to except me, I end up having fantasies about…a pervert.
Why? When the hell did that happen? HOW in the world did it happen? Who am I kidding; I know perfectly well why, when, and how it happened.
Why do I end up in the worst possible places at the worst possible time? Couldn't I have gone to some other place to train?
And then…
I saw him.
He had concealed himself behind some bushes growing at the outer edge of the training field. He was either writing another book or was possibly researching for it. A blush covered my cheeks as I thought about what stories my Dog-Lover of a teammate told me. I tried avoiding him but, out of curiosity and habit, went closer to check if he was alright. What I saw was unexpected, to say the least. If I said I wasn't expecting this, of all things, it would be an understatement.
There, behind the over-grown patch of bushes and lying down on a worn-out sheet, was who my sparkly-eyed crush called 'Ero Sanin'. But what caught my attention was not where he was sprawled rather how. He was spread-eagled on the ground, in all masculine glory, in nothing but a pair of shorts. He looked like he had taken a dunk in the lake which was a few feet away. His hair wasn't in his usual ponytail instead it was fanned out around his head. His thick, white hair displayed like that made him seem ethereal and not old. Looking down at his face I realized how handsome he was. He had a goofy-looking smile on his face as if he was dreaming about something perverse. I moved my gaze farther down and noticed how broad his shoulders were, his muscles bunched up, and a washboard stomach. His arms were muscular and his long legs seemed never-ending and I couldn’t help but think if 'it' was as long as the rest of him. I burned red at that thought and shook my head. I wasn't supposed to have those thoughts at that time and should've solely concentrated on my training but…I couldn't help it.
I don't know what happened after that but I remembered my mouth hanging open like an idiot when the object, or rather subject, of my scrutiny yawned loudly and stretched unabashedly. I thought he looked quite adorable, like a kitten after its nap. But that's beside the point. I have no idea why I kept standing there as if Shikamaru had trapped my shadow with his Shadow Possession Jutsu, I just wasn't able to move my legs even if I tried. Imagine my horror when the sannin cracked open his eyes to have their gaze landing on me. I was feeling faint but I thought better of it. Faint? In front of…the Legendary Pervert Sannin? No, thank you. But…
'Why, hello.'
My eyes widened, I opened my mouth to say something…
'Ano…'
I shut my mouth. Great, I thought. I tried again.
'I thought I should ask if you were OK.' Is it me or did I just sound like a complete moron?
His eyebrow raised in question. 'Well, thank you, Miss…'
'H…H…Hyuuuga Hinata' I stumbled on my words.
'Oh! Kurenei's student! Pleasure to meet you. Were you looking for something in particular?'
I started to hyperventilate. Being 18, I thought I'd have outgrown my old habits. Seems like old habits die hard. 'Ano…I came to train.'
'So it seems I disrupted your training…' he was about to stand up to leave but I stopped him.
'N…n…no, please. I just came to check whether you were alright. Goodbye!' and with that I ran off to God-knows-where. I just had to get out of there. And fast. Before I made a complete fool of myself.
You've stolen his name, you tore out his feathers
Ever since that incident, he's been invading my mind. Inappropriate thoughts drift through my mind like waves. I've never thought of the one I loved like that so why was I unable to stop myself from daydreaming about HIM.
It was as if he stole my thoughts away from me and replaced them with himself. It was as if he tore out my feathers so that I couldn't fly anywhere but…to him.
I saw him again. But, this time, he was perched up on a tree. This was a week after the incident. I hid behind a dilapidated building a bit far from where he was sitting but I could still see clearly because of my Byakugan. There was something off about him. He seemed…melancholic. I decided I didn't like that face of his scrunched up in a frown. The strangest thing was that he had tossed his manuscripts in a corner. His precious research! There had to be a problem.
But what really broke my heart was the fact that he was silently…crying. No sound was made by him but I saw the light reflect off something which I deduced as tears. My throat constricted and I wondered what made this powerful & strong being cry like that.
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Lyrical flows, whisper and shoulder
Why am I crying? That's a good question. I have never cried. Never before, or after, that incident with Orochimaru. But what they said, hurt. I can bear being called a Pervert. After all, isn’t everybody? At least I have the confidence to say it out loud while everyone else, except Kakashi, act as if they're all high & mighty. When the dimwit calls me 'Old Man' or 'Ero Sannin', I push them away with a smile. But there's always a limit to what a person can bear. There's always a line which shouldn't be crossed.
Being called someone who 'isn't good at anything except watching naked women' crosses that line. Especially, if it's that blonde drunk who, also, called me a 'good-for-nothing playboy'. What does she know? A playboy has girls to play with. Me? I don't even have guys to play with. Not that I want to but hell... I was made Sannin for a reason. I am one of the Legendary Sannin. I know what I'm capable of even If others do not.
The words which flowed through my fingers onto bamboo paper stopped flowing. Those idyllic words spewed by my own fingers, used for romanticizing the heroine, which reminded me so much of amorous lyrics to a love song have ceased to exist. I just noticed the whispers but I shoulder them just like I shouldered so many times a burden.
Oooh, drive me insane
I noticed her. Again.
The first time I interacted with her was at the training ground near the lake. She seemed so innocent. So sweet. She was someone I wouldn't even dare to cross paths with so as to not infect her with my toxins.
I realized she was in love with my dense student who was pursuing someone, who reciprocated no feeling, out of obsession rather than love. He didn't know how lucky he was to have someone who loves him. Particularly, and uncommonly, someone who has loved him since his academy days. It's rare to find a love so strong or so unconditional.
I've been wishing for such a love.
And I'm wishing for HER love. The woman who has loved my student since their academy days.
Oooh, insane
I'm going insane. More than I was before.
What am I thinking? She's a child! No, she isn’t a child. But I'm much older than her. She would never think of me like that.
No. Wait. What am I thinking? When did I start thinking like that? I remember when. The day she came to check if I was OK.
It was the first time I, actually, looked at her. And saw her. She was…beautiful, to say the least. The doe-eyed beauty looked upon me with genuine worry. Her eyes held a lavender hue. I was entranced. Her skin was so pale, so flawless, she reminded me of a celestial deity. Her indigo locks, her gossamer indigo locks, were a shade so odd, as were her eyes. And that pink mouth with the full lower lip. I tried so hard not to lick my lips in anticipation, unconsciously.
She is, indeed, beautiful.
After that, there were two things I paid my attention to. First, I was relieved that my student hadn't noticed how exotic the girl, correction: woman, who pursued him, was. And second, I was surprised, and outraged, how he HADN'T noticed such a creature.
Well, his loss.
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We may feel like running on empty
I'm utterly confused. I've loved him for years. YEARS. And, just after a single confrontation with his teacher…I'm wooed. I'm swooning over HIM, of all people. We're completely different people! Like two ends of the same pole! Wait, where did the pole come from? Great, now I'M a pervert. Surprise, surprise.
I feel so…empty. It's because I just realized I never was 'in love' with him in the first place. I loved him but for different reasons. I loved him because he was something I was not. Something unattainable. Unreachable. A dream. I was in love with the dream he presented and not the actual person.
How naïve could I be.
So you are, so we are
Love is blind; I now know what that means. Love is like a sickness of the mind. The heart is just caught in-between the rift. It's destructive; destroying sanity and everything which makes us think clearly. It blinds us but only for a short time; the blindness leads to the arrival of color, afterwards. And when sight has fully returned, we have to make a decision. We have to understand whether our destinies have intermingled so as to never separate. Because this is what love is. Love is not what we imagine it to be – it is not the quixotic idealism we have made it to be, it is not the declaration of false promises. 'Love' is the bitter or not-so-bitter after-taste which has been left over when being 'In Love' has faded away. This is the beauty of it. In the end, it is the realization that the two who 'Love' each other are a single entity and not two separate entities.
Ok, that was an extremely philosophical reason as to why I was feeling what I was feeling.
The question, now, is: What do I do?
You've broken his game, you did it together
I know what to do. I need to tell him. And, then, I'll tell HIM.
I'm waiting for Konoha's sweet knucklehead outside IchiRaku's Ramen Shop. I have got to tell him. And I feel, peculiarly, calm. I'm not stuttering. I'm not blushing. And I'm not feeling faint.
Is this what Love is?
Shaking myself out of my musings, I catch him going to sit at his usual seat. I head straight to where he's sitting.
'Naruto-kun?' I call to him, confidently.
The said individual turns his head towards me, busy eating his usual order of Miso Ramen. But something was different. I know so because…he choked on his noodles.
'H…H…Hinata??' He stammered.
He was clearly incredulous and I have no idea why. I glanced down at myself and sighed in relief; I looked as I always looked. But why was he…surprised? Oh, wait, I wasn't stuttering. Or fainting. I giggled. He raised an eyebrow. No, make that two eyebrows after I had started to laugh. He blushed and looked away, locking his right arm behind his head, in his usual fashion when he's clueless as to why something's happening.
'Uhh…Hinata-chan…'
I stopped laughing and looked up, wiping the tears of mirth from my eyes. 'Sorry, Naruto-kun. I didn't mean to laugh at you. You just looked so dumb-founded. Ummm…Ano…Why are you looking at me like that?'
Naruto fumbled with his words. 'Hinata-chan, you seem different. I mean, you look the same and yet you seem to have changed, somehow.'
Slowly, I smiled and told him the truth. 'Naruto-kun, do you know…'
His eyes widened a fraction.
'I love you, Naruto-kun' Naruto's expression said bewilderment all over. I suppressed a chuckle. 'I've loved you since our academy days. I watched over you, when you were alone and scared, Sad and lonely. But I was too shy to come to you.'
Naruto was like a statue, his mouth open, eyes wide, and noodle broth dripping from his chin. I reached out and cleaned his chin. I noticed Naruto closing his eyes and sighing. This was my signal to continue. 'But, Naruto, you never noticed. You were always too busy chasing after Sakura-chan.' Naruto, visibly, winced. He started to speak but I beat him to it, 'Naruto-kun, I realized this morning, that I may love you but I'm not IN love with you. I would love to be friends with you. I'm sorry I was too late to come to you and confess.'
Naruto seemed confused. I was happy to have gotten my point across. I laid my hand on his cheek, smiled at him, and left the Shop.
My back turned, I could still feel the tears falling down the whiskered cheeks I loved so much.
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Rumors and fame, one holding another
'Hinata-chan loves me?' He whispered to himself. 'But she isn't IN love with me?' Naruto was flabbergasted. He had never imagined anyone loving him. Even more so, since they were in the academy. How she handled the burden, he didn’t know. What he DID know was that he lost something…beautiful. He never was able to notice the silent, and shy, beauty until now, when she had the courage to come up to him and speak to him. He noticed how expressive her eyes were, and how kind. He also noticed the pale lavender hue of her eyes which clashed with her unique indigo-shaded hair, and matched with her exquisitely pale skin. Her lips were a lovely kissable pink and were brought up in a pout. He wished he could've tasted her sweetness. He noticed, now, when he had lost something he never observed he had, her beauty was not only internal. She was divine. And no longer his.
The rumors were true. His friends tried making him notice the obvious. But he never understood. He was a dense idiot.
Now, becoming Hokage, achieving fame, and glory, these dreams, and goals, seemed something so out-of-reach. Nothing had changed. He had just let something slip out of his fingers, something which was always there with him. Something he never once looked at.
Naruto had a revelation. He had an epiphany. He stood up and walked out of the shop towards the Hokage Monument. Yes, he WILL become Hokage, he WILL achieve, not only fame and glory but, respect, as well. All for the one person who will always watch over him and be by his side. All for the one new friend he has gained.
So, then…why was he hurting?
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Oooh, drive me insane
She's driving me insane. I have to do this. Otherwise, all will be lost. I'm making my way through the streets of Konoha, trying to find the object of my affection, my aphrodisiac.
I look to my left and see the Yamanaka Flower Shop. Strange, I've never noticed how beautiful the lilies are. They remind me of someone…I slowly guide my eyes away from the lilies, and they instantly land upon my target who is wild-eyed and staring right at me.
Shit. Busted.
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(Did it together)
What am I doing? Where IS he?! I hope I find him soon before I change my mind. I've been going round in circles all this time and there's no sign of him!
I notice Ino behind the cashier desk in her shop and stop to wave when…
…I found him…
…Right in front of me, regarding my presence. But why did he look so nervous?
I gasped and placed my hand over my mouth.
Oh, no.
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Oooh, insane (crazy!)
She doesn't look too happy. She looks terrified. Oh, no. I think I should go back. But as soon as I try to turn around…
…I feel a hand clutching my arm, desperately.
I look behind me and am startled to see the culprit.
'Hinata-chan?'
I feel light-headed all of a sudden.
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Drive me insane (crazy!)
What am I doing? Am I crazy? Yes, I admit to myself, I have been since I met him. This fascinating man.
I notice him turning around to go back to wherever it is he came from but I'm not going to let this opportunity go! Enough shyness and fainting spells for me.
I, frantically, run up to him, clutching at his arm.
He turns around, his eyes going wide.
'Hinata-chan?'
'Ummm…Ano…Jiraiya-kun…Please, don’t go.'
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Oooh....crazy!
Is she telling me not to go? I must be hearing things?
'What did you say, Hinata-chan?'
She mumbled something which I couldn’t hear. I asked her again.
She spoke a bit louder. This time, I heard her, albeit barely a whisper. 'I…I think I'm in love with you, Jiraiya-kun.'
My head was spinning. This was like a dream. No, a dream come true.
I reached out to hold her small hands in mine. 'Hina-chan. I think I may be falling in love with you, too'
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Crazy!
I took a sharp intake of breath at those words. He…loves me? He DOES love me! Afraid to make this moment vanish into oblivion, I let go of his hands, grasping his head, pulling it to me.
Then, I do the extraordinary.
I kissed him.
I am, indeed, crazy. Crazy in love.
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Crazy!
SHE'S kissing me. She's kissing ME. She's KISSING me?! My mind was whirling, flooding with emotions. I would never, even in a million years, believed the shy, and timid, Hyuuga Heiress was bold enough to initiate such an interaction! I'm still not able to believe it even though I'm on the receiving end.
But, letting go of the insignificant ranting, I decide to make her beg for more. However, there seems to be a problem – She's, actually, making ME beg for more. That sweet, inexperienced mouth is doing wonders. My lips are left scorching underneath wherever her lips touch me. I'm like putty in her hands.
My tongue, desperately, tries to seek an entrance which she, graciously, allows. I plunge in, her intoxicatingly sweet scent mingling with my aromatic musk. Our tongues dance for dominance. In the end, I win.
Yes, we are crazy. Crazy enough to kiss in a market, in a public street, in front of hundreds of people who have watched to enjoy the spectacle.
I know they're enjoying because the sound of their clapping echoes throughout the village.
And my sweet, little Hina-chan has the audacity to blush prettily before fainting, conveniently, into my arms.
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