Kakashi stood looking at the flowing river. He wished he could be as carefree as the meandering water and as relaxed as the fishes swimming in it.
“It’s a wonder that you are here. It’s a half day for lessons at the Academy today. Shouldn’t you be out on a date?” A half amused voice came up from behind him.
Kakashi arched an eyebrow as the owner of the voice stood beside him staring at the river as well.
“And it’s surprising that you are here. I thought Team Kurenai isn’t on any mission today.”
Asuma laughed. “Well, they aren’t. But Kurenai is helping Anko out on some stuff. She asked me to look for you.”
“Oh? Whatever for?”
Asuma’s eyes narrowed as he glanced at Kakashi.
“Kurenai said you haven’t been yourself for the past week. She said you have been drinking more than usual. And…… You are alone most of the time.”
Kakashi sighed. Asuma lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.
“What happened, Kakashi?” Asuma asked quietly. “Are the two of you……”
“No. We are still together if that is what you want to know. But………” Kakashi tilted his head and looked at the sky. Asuma took another puff of his cigarette as he waited for Kakashi to continue.
“……….. I don’t know how long more I can hold out in this relationship.”
“Are you giving up?” Kakashi shrugged. Asuma sighed.
“You know, Kakashi, I’m beginning to wonder if it is our fault that you are caught up in this situation today. If we had not persuaded you to confess to him in the first place, perhaps you would not be so troubled by it now.”
Kakashi let out a chuckle. “It’s not like you to admit to any faults.”
Asuma frowned. “I’m not that irresponsible, Hatake Kakashi.” Kakashi let out a small laughter.
“Don’t worry about me, Asuma. It wasn’t your fault or Genma’s. I was just foolish enough to let it get to me, thinking that he will be as open about our relationship as I was prepared to be. Or even love me the way that I love him.”
Kakashi sighed and close his eyes. “I guess I was wrong. Perhaps he isn’t ready as yet and maybe he never will be. And maybe, he is already regretting this relationship.”
Asuma patted him on the shoulder and sighed. “Do you need me to talk to him?”
“Well, I guess not… Although he’s aware that you know of our relationship, but it will still be a little awkward for him to have you talk about it.”
“Well, perhaps it will make things better if I ask Kurenai to talk to him? She’s better at such things anyway.”
“Don’t, Asuma. He doesn’t know that she knows about this as well. And in the first place, she wouldn’t if you had not told her.” Kakashi scowled
Asuma laughed and nodded in understanding. “Well, she will kill me if I keep any secrets from her.” Then, a little more serious, Asuma narrowed his eyes. “Kakashi, if there’s anything that Kurenai or I can do to help, let us know.”
“It doesn’t matter. If Iruka doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, there’s no point in even talking about it. I will just withdraw from this.” Asuma frowned.
“I’m a jounin, Asuma. I’m trained to handle my emotions and lock it up when there’s a need. It’s not the first time I’m doing it anyway. Being a tool without emotions. Isn’t that what shinobis are supposed to do? I’m already used to it.”
Asuma sighed. This wasn’t the Kakashi he knew. He’s well aware that Kakashi is closed up and even dark at times. But the Kakashi in front of him now was despondent and hurt. He clasped Kakashi’s shoulders and changed the topic.
“Let’s go for lunch, pal.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“But I am! Come on. Kurenai is helping Anko. So she doesn’t have time for me. I could do with a little companionship.” Asuma smiled. Kakashi glanced at him and finally nodded his head.
Asuma grinned. “Let’s go.”
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Chapter notes: I wanted to go straight to the break up part. But I thought that I should at least have a bridge to link to that part.