Author: shattered-words

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it’d be called ‘Gaara’. So, isn’t it a shame that I don’t own it?

Summary: There were many things that shaped the plans of a certain Nukenin, and one was a shinobi that was as destructive as fire. (AU/Mentions of Shounen-ai/Yaoi/Yuri) (Linked to “Caught in the Rain”)

AN: Don’t you just hate when you notice a lot of mistakes? -sigh- This is once again, revised and corrected for your enjoyment, so enjoy!

Eizan coughed as she stumbled and paused in her training. Usually she didn’t train during the night since it was cold and she was affected by it more than others because of her abilities, but she needed to blow off some steam. No one would care if she was gone for a few days, and she needed to train because soon she would start at the Academy.

Becoming a ninja like her brother had been the only thing that was left for her, since she had kept him from achieving that goal. She would have preferred to die but she’d never have the courage to commit suicide, but if she became a ninja she might be killed during a mission.

She doubted that anyone would miss her and so she put everything out of her mind and concentrated on training under the moon’s light. The young girl was within the Suna even if she shouldn’t, and she’d located herself to a rooftop so she wouldn’t be spotted. She didn’t want to train in the area her house was located. She hated that place.

That’s when she heard the sound of someone approaching and was drawn to the edge of the roof she was upon. She saw a ninja sprinting along the lower roofs and his face was covered, but she recognized the Suna headband. Crouching on the edge, she peered down at him until he had passed under her and continued on.

Her curiosity got the better of her and started to follow him but made sure to keep a good distant away and avoided using too much chakra or he’d sense her presence. From a very young age, her brother, who had been on his way to becoming an excellent ninja, had taught her quite a bit. While she wasn’t even at the level of a Genin yet, she had always been able to catch onto the techniques quickly. She had learned few jutsu and now she kept them close and trained to perfect them. It was the only way that she could keep her brother and parents alive, and so she continued to train hard what she had been taught and absorbed.

When he stopped, she did as well and turned to see what he was looking at and saw a figure about her size sitting by themselves with their back to the ninja. It was dark and so she wasn’t able to see whom it was too clearly, but she could tell that he was most likely weeping quietly. The Suna-nin silently attacked, sending several kunai in his direction. She contemplated the idea of warning him, but was afraid that she might be discovered within the city, and it was too late anyway.

Eizan was surprised when the sand shot up to protect him. ‘He’s attacking Gaara!’ The red haired boy also looked stunned as he stood and turned to face the man with a fearful expression. Then his features hardened as his sand blocked another barrage of kunai. There was anger on his face now, and she knew it all too well.

She felt that same anger every time someone looked at her with those hateful eyes. Several times she had asked why she had to go through something like this, and endure the blind hatred of people that didn’t know the kind of person she was. People that didn’t know the details of something she couldn’t control.

Her eyes caught a glimmer of light on the edge of her vision and she saw the ninja preparing an attack as he distracted Gaara from seeing. It looked like he would trigger from the side by using wire as he feigned a frontal assault. She had seen the sand protect him several times but she wasn’t sure it would sense the kunai in time.

There was no time to think and she let her body react instinctively. She was in front of him and then felt the kunai sink into her back moments later. It almost made her cry out, but clenched her teeth and took in deep breaths to stop herself. Gaara took in a small breath of surprise that might have been a gasp and looked at her in confusion, not understanding what had happened.

She let a grin spread over her features. “I told you...to be careful,” she gasped and collapsed to the side. Her blood spilled from the wounds and stained the ground around her. They hadn’t done too much damage, but realized that if they had hit Gaara it would have been worse.

Thinking about it now, she didn’t really know why she had jumped in front of that attack. ‘You can be my friend because you are like me.’ She chuckled softly as his earlier words came back to haunt her, but she knew the truth.

He was shunned by the entire world and understood the pain of loneliness. No doubt he felt the same pain within his chest like she did. These thoughts ran over and over again in her mind, and came to the conclusion that perhaps he would be able to dispel the cover of darkness that surrounded her very life.

When she dared to move again, she listened around her but could only hear the shifting of the sand. As she was finally able to lift her head, she saw that it had engulfed the masked ninja. He fought vainly against it before the smaller male closed his hand and the sand quickly crushed him. His blood splattered in various directions as she stood and stumbled toward Gaara as the ninja’s body hit the floor. She saw that he was looking down at the man uncertainly, and fear clouding his features.

As she reached his side and fell onto her knees, he was reaching out a trembling hand toward the ninja’s mask. She saw the ends of blonde hair sticking out around it and she sighed as she lowered her gaze. Eizan knew who it was and when he removed the covering they both found themselves staring into Yashamaru’s face.

His bloodied features looked calm even as he laid there, and blood ran from the corners of his mouth as he looked at Gaara. “You are strong, as I expected, Gaara-sama,” he said quietly.

The red head gasped and clutched his chest as pain gripped him. “Yashamaru,” he whimpered in disbelief. She could only watch as he fell to his knees. He gripped his head, turned his face to the sky and screamed. She was shaken by the terror and pain it contained as she wrapped her arms around her body. Her chest throbbed as she winced but it had been a different kind of pain. ‘What is this feeling?’ she wondered.

Gaara questioned him on his actions as she stared at the man with an expressionless face. She felt bad for the red head but she wasn’t too surprised. His eyes had revealed his hate and that he couldn’t be trusted. The thought caused her to frown and knew that she simply wasn’t willing to trust anyone and thus suspected everyone.

Her eyes lingered over Gaara’s face and saw that he was in so much pain and for a moment wished that she could take it within herself. Perhaps that pain could maybe make her feel alive again.

“It was an order,” Yashamaru finally answered. Her gaze moved to fasten on the older ninja this time. “By your father, Kazekage.” Shock gripped her then since she hadn’t known that this boy’s father was someone she hated. Now she was interested in hearing the rest and she listened as well.

Gaara asked why his father had sent Yashamaru to kill him, and he explained that the Kazekage had placed the order to seal Shukaku inside of him. Then he would be observed like an experiment. They saw that he had no control over the sand or the being within him, and might one day become a danger to the village. He had to be eliminated.

The red head seemed overwhelmed by this information but he thought a moment before smiling weakly. “Then you did this unwillingly because Father ordered you to?” he asked with his last scrap at hope hanging by a thread.

Eizan saw that his face was now streaked with tears, and she frowned as she sighed quietly. Even now she saw the hatred behind the man’s eyes as they were fixed on the boy. Gaara was deceiving himself but she didn’t have any right to say this to him.

Yashamaru shook his head. “That’s not correct. Even if it was an order I could have chosen to decline it.” His eyes turned toward the sky overhead and ignored the stricken look on the younger male’s face. “Deep within my heart...I hated you,” he told him. “My beloved sister, your mother, was used as a sacrifice to seal the Shukaku inside of you. She died giving birth to you and cursing this village.” His eyes narrowed slightly at this before his face softened into a look of sorrow. “I carried a wound that could never heal.”

Eizan wanted to shut him up but knew that Gaara needed to hear the truth. She knew first hand that living in a fantasy wasn’t good, but he was suffering so much. As she caught sight of his lifeless eyes she shuddered and made a decision.

If she stayed by Gaara’s side then she could keep him alive and also deter the Kazekage’s plans. Her childish mind told her that this way neither of them would be alone again. She wanted to take away that lifeless look from his stare that Yashamaru’s betrayal had put there.

“My sister gave you your name. ‘This child’s name is Gaara’,” Yashamaru continued to speak. His eyes had returned to stare at the darkened heavens above. “An Asura that loves himself. Love only yourself. And fight only for yourself. By doing so, you can continue to exist. Your name carries those wishes.” He looked up at Gaara as tears still ran down his face.

“But my sister did not give you the name because she cared for you or loved you. She gave you that name so that you could continue to exist. Because she hated and cursed this village as she died, and she wanted her deep hatred to exist and remain. To let others know of it.” He smiled suddenly but there was no warmth behind it. “You were not loved.”

Eizan fell onto her rear and hissed softly as the impact jarred her wounds to send spasms of pain through her entire body. When she wiped the sweat that covered her forehead she smeared it with the blood that had stained her hands. Her breathing was labored but she listened to Yashamaru’s words and winced at his last words. She was unloved now. Gaara was alone in this world, and not needed by anyone, just as she was.

Yashamaru pulled open his vest to reveal the exploding notes covering him and they ignited. “This is it. Please die.” Gaara’s gaze had fallen toward the ground and he didn’t see them, or didn’t care. She cried out, but her warning came too late.

The explosion rocked the surrounding area and all she could do was shield herself with her arms. She was thrown back and gasped as she landed on her back. A whimper of pain escaped her lips as the kunai sunk further into her flesh, and she rolled onto her side as quickly as she could.

After several seconds she managed to sit up and ignored the pain as she stared ahead. Gaara sat where he had been and he was unscathed. His sand had come up in time to protect him from the exploding notes. They had destroyed the ground around the dome of sand and from what remained, she knew Yashamaru was dead. She was glad that he hadn’t taken Gaara with him.

She slowly rose to her feet and staggered toward him. He had collapsed on his hands and knees and he was sobbing in such a way that he was practically screaming in pain. Eizan wished she could say something to comfort him but she wasn’t even sure he would hear her.

He lifted his gaze suddenly, and she saw something snap within his eyes that flashed a golden color a moment later. The sand start to move around him as it howled with the six-year-olds’ pain. His gaze fixed on her and she was caught within the sand storm as she cried out in shock but could do nothing as she was whipped around above the red head.

She was going too fast to see as the sand shot toward his forehead and started to carve something into his flesh. All she heard was his screaming and a few minutes later everything stopped and she was flung back toward the ground. She landed with a grunt of pain and the only thing that she was grateful for was that she had landed on her stomach this time.

Now she lifted her gaze slowly and saw blood running down Gaara’s face. His sand had carved the kanji symbol ‘Ai’ into his flesh. He turned his dead turquoise eyes on her and she shuddered at what she saw there.

“That is what Gaara is...Me,” he whispered. There was no more life in that gaze as it met her crimson rimmed eyes. “I finally understand. I’m alone. I won’t believe in anyone, or love anyone. I’m alone. Yes, I am alone.” He lifted his hand toward her and felt the sand wrapping around her.

When she was lifted into the air she stared at him as he started to close his hand. The sand tightened around her and pressed on her chest so she had trouble breathing. A smile crossed her face as she closed her eyes and waited. ‘Tou-san. Okaa-san. Eizan-nii-san.’

She was stunned when she was released and thrown once again to land on her stomach at his feet as she hissed in pain. He looked down at her and noticed the kunai as if he hadn’t seen them before. Eizan lifted her eyes and saw as his narrowed. Gaara looked like he was trying to regain some form of control. “Why...did you?” he asked as he reached out and pulled out one of the kunai as she winced.

As he pulled out another of the three that remained, the black haired girl rested her face against the cool, uncomfortable ground. “Because you are just like me,” she muttered the words he had said earlier.

His hand paused as he removed the last weapon from her back, and then let it fall to the ground. He crouched beside her but she didn’t move as her eyes fastened on the kunai’s dirtied edge. The moonlight glinted off the unsoiled side and it reflected in the dark pools of her eyes. She felt the coolness of the ground seeping into the contours of her bloody face. Her body ached all over and knew she had sustained several cuts when she had been trapped within the tornado of sand.

“I don’t trust you,” she heard him speak after several seconds. His voice was not like she had heard when he had come to her house. It had been hesitant and almost innocently naïve, just as hers had been before her family’s demise. He had changed now, like she had.

She laughed quietly and nodded. “I know you don’t,” she muttered before she shakily lifted herself onto her hands and knees and met his gaze. When she was on just her knees, she bowed her head toward him. “He’s wrong,” she whispered. “You’re not a failure. They will see.”

Her father had told her that when she became a ninja like him and her brother then she would serve the Kazekage. However, that man hated her and she hated him, so she could never serve him. She peered into Gaara’s cold eyes and knew she wanted to stay with him since they were so alike.

The only problem was that he didn’t trust anyone and might not believe her if she said she wanted to be his friend. So, her only option was to stay at his side as if she were serving the Kazekage. He was his father’s enemy, and as her Eizan-nii-san had always said ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’.

She hadn’t understood it then but she did now. If she was with Gaara at all times, protecting him and serving him then she would never be alone again either. Also, by staying alive she would ensure that her brother and family’s legacy as ninja would never die.

After a moment, Gaara stood and stared down at her with that same cold stare. “My only purpose is to end life,” he said quietly, and she was the crazed look in his stare. He hadn’t been backed into his last bit of sanity. It had been torn from him. “To fight only for myself and love only myself.”

They were both so young but even then they knew their purpose. She nodded as she bent to one knee in a show of submission. “Hai, and mine will be to help you fulfill that purpose, Gaara-dono,” she muttered.

Eizan watched his shadow as it spread across the floor in front of her and after a moment she saw him nod. Relief flooded through her and she stood as he turned away. They both gazed off over the edge of the roof they were on. The teddy bear he had always carried with him had been thrown aside and was splattered in blood, and now it lay forgotten. The time of childhood had ended, for both of them.-

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Translations:

1. Sunagakure no Sato: literally means ‘Village Hidden within the Sand’

2. -sama: this is one level higher than “-san”. It is used to confer great respect

3. Shukaku: is said to be the corrupted spirit of a Sand Priest turned demon; also Shukaku can be translated to mean ‘drunk’.

4. Asura: an enemy of the gods in Hindu mythology, a demon

5. exploding note: this tool is a note which explodes after a set amount of time

6. Ai: romanji spelling for the kanji representing ‘love’.

7. -dono: this comes from the word “tono,” which means “lord.” It is an even higher level than “-sama” and confers utmost respect.

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End, Chapter Two