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The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

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Members: 11985
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And Now for Something Completely Different by Silent Witness

[Reviews - 12]   Printer Chapter or Story
Table of Contents

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Story notes: A series of stories done in stream of conciousness style, emulating the surreal sketch humor of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Chapter notes: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
(Stage curtains open, revealing an adult Naruto sitting behind a desk)

Naruto: Hello! Hello! Hello! Thank you, thank you. Hello good evening and welcome, to BLACKMAIL! Yes, it's another edition of the game in which you can play with *yourself*.

(drum roll)

Naruto: And to start tonight's show, we have a letter, a hotel registration book, and a series of photographs, which could add up to divorce, premature retirement, and possible criminal proceedings for a shinobi in Konoha. He's a Jounin, and is known for copying techniques, so that's 300,000 yen please, Mr. K... thank you... to stop us from revealing: Your name, The name of the three other people involved, The youth organization to which they belonged, and The shop where you bought the equipment!

(organ music)

Naruto: But right now, yes everyone is the moment you've all been waiting for; it's time for our Stop the Film…ah bugger-all!

(stands on desk, staring up to the ceiling)

Naruto: Oh bloody hell! Where exactly do your get your kicks by writing this, huh? Think making me dance on a string and recycle absurdist British comedy is funny, huh?

(heavenly light shines down on Naruto)

Writer: Quit breaking the fourth wall!

Naruto: Why not? After what you did to that sketch, a broken fourth wall should be last on your repair list. And just what do you mean by all this?

Writer: Well, this is what is popular with the fandom communities. They call it “randomness” or something.

Naruto: I call it ripping off 40 year old Monty Python sketches. Can’t you think of anything better?

Writer: Well, you have to admit, it’s funny.

Naruto: Funny? You call curing your writer’s block and ignoring your more serious stories funny?

Writer: Shhh! You weren’t supposed to talk about that!

Naruto: Well, if you have the bloody time to get me to re-enact your favorite Monty Python sketches, you bloody well have the time finish your stories! And you call yourself a writer!

Writer: Well, I didn’t expect the—

Naruto: Don’t say it!

Writer: Say what? All I was going to say was that I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition.

(three men in red cardinal’s outfits burst through door)

Inquisitor 1: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISTION!

Naruto: Oh now you’ve done it!

Writer: Oops! Oh well, what the Lord giveth the Lord also taketh away.

(Sixteen ton weight drops from the sky, crushing everyone)

Writer: Oh well, now that little problem is taken care of. Roll credits!
Chapter end notes: This was written in a flash of inspiration following a short discussion with the new Site Admin on the TONFA forums. If you don't like it, you can blame her for inadvertently causing this.

Just kidding

Don't worry, more will come, and it will get better. Cold intros are so hard to do in script format

*wishes he could edit film like Terry Gilliam*
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