Chapter 1
October 10th (One Year Later)
Fourteen Years of Pain
The past few months had been like living hell to Naruto, but somehow…he managed to go on.
Every morning he’d wake up by the bright radiance of the sun, and today was no different. The light pierced through his blinds and struck his face annoyingly. He repositioned his body away from his window in hopes of sleeping just a little bit longer. He held his eyes shut tight, struggling to fall back in his slumber.
Stupid light. Now he was awake.
Naruto groaned, throwing his bed covers off himself. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, stinging with drowsiness. He sat up-right and rubbed his eyes. He turned around and opened the blinds to look down on the busy streets of Konoha.
He must’ve woken up late. The sun was high in the sky and people were walking about, shopping, talking, and taking care of their daily jobs. Naruto looked out into the vast village with envious eyes. He loved this place, yet he felt it did not love him.
With a sigh he jumped off his bed. He stretched his arms up, hearing his neck and back pop in several places. He yawned lazily, stumbling towards his bathroom. The same old morning routine carried on as always.
Naruto started the faucet, splashing water into his face to further wake him. He gazed at the reflection in his mirror for a moment. He’d changed a lot in the past year. He seemed to take on a more mature look. His hair was a bit longer and spikier, but it stood up the same. He had also gotten considerably taller over that time period. Naruto grinned cheerfully, thinking back on his days of being called short.
From there, he continued to brushing his teeth. He then stripped down to his boxers and put on his everyday outfit: the orange and blue coat over a black shirt and the orange pants that match. He snagged his headband that lay next to the photo of team seven on his dresser, tying it to his head. He never went anywhere without it.
Normally, Naruto would cook himself a breakfast (that mainly consisted of ramen), but for once he wasn’t hungry. It was odd, but he shrugged it off. Instead, he decided to head out and take a walk. It was a beautiful day anyways. Taking his keys and Gama-chan, he walked out and locked the door behind him. He jumped over the balcony railing and down the roof of the broken down apartment building, making a perfect landing on the pavement.
Naruto breathed in deep and exhaled with a smile. The fresh air tasted good. The sky was blue with not a single cloud in sight. Above his head, a small white bird flew without a care in the world and suddenly...he didn’t feel as happy anymore. He scowled as it circled him. Jealousy of the bird overcame him for how free-spirited it seemed.
And Naruto…just wasn’t.
His world was silent as he strolled off wherever his whimsy would take him. He needed something to entertain him for the time, as he had the day off from missions. Calm tranquility washed over him as he drew closer to the main street of Konoha.
That was until…
“Happy Birthday, Naruto!” screamed a nasally voice from behind him. Startled, he shrieked and tripped over, falling flat on his face.
A childish cackle rang through his ears. He grimaced at how he, of all people, could be scared so easily by him.
“Jeez, Boss! Jumpy today?”
“Konohamaru…” Naruto muttered angrily to the pavement.
“C’mon, that’s not like you, Boss! Get up!”
Naruto pushed himself up off the ground, rubbing his nose. It wasn’t bleeding, but it surely did hurt. “Damn you, Konohamaru,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Hah, I GOT you, Boss!” he boasted, falling to the ground laughing. Naruto gave him a dull look.
“Okay, okay. It wasn’t that funny.”
“S-Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He put emphasis on scare, this being one of the first times he’s succeeded. He sat up, grinning fiercely. “Just wanted to say Happy Birthday!”
“Huh?” Naruto got back on his feet, brushing dirt off his pants. “What do ya’ mean?”
“You gotta be kiddin me, Boss! Don’t tell me you forgot your own birthday!”
“Wha--?” Naruto rubbed his head in confusion. “What day is it?”
“October 10th of course! That is your birthday right?”
“Y-yeah…it is…” How stupid could anyone get? To forget your own birthday is like forgetting your name...pathetic.
The small boy snickered at Naruto’s foolishness. “Well now that ya’ know, Boss, I made somethin’ for ya’!”
“And what would that be?” he asked uninterested. Konohamaru reached into his back pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. He held it out to Naruto, who raised an eyebrow peculiarly.
“What is it?”
“It’s a birthday card! I made it just for you and had my whole class sign it and everything!” Naruto accepted the paper and read it over respectfully.
It was a fairly sloppy and crudely written card. On the inside were signatures, many of which he did not recognize, along with doodles of the leaf symbol and bowls of ramen. There was also a humorous little sketch of him eating the ramen (Naruto had to stifle a laugh at that). In the center in bold letters were the following words: “Happy Birthday Naruto! (The number one ninja in Konoha)”.
Naruto’s blank expression turned into a small smile. He’d never been given anything for his birthday, so this meant something to him. He stood there speechless, reading the card over and over again.
“Uh, Boss?” Naruto snapped out of his trance and turned his attention to the small boy. His lips were an expressionless line on his face once more. Konohamaru looked at him with an eyebrow arched. “What’s wrong, Boss? Don’t ya’ like it?”
Naruto felt something warm run down his cheek. A single tear had fallen from his eye. He wiped it away quickly, hoping Konohamaru hadn’t seen.
“Boss, are you crying?” he asked puzzled.
“What? No!” Naruto replied defensively.
“Jee, I didn’t know the card was that bad…”
“It’s not! Really!” Now he had hurt Konohamaru’s feelings, which in turn made him feel awful. “I like it, but…”
“But?”
Naruto paused for a moment. “I don’t think anyone’s ever given me a birthday card before.”
“Really?” Konohamaru asked astonished. “Not even Iruka-sensei?” Naruto shook his head, stashing the card away safely. “I never knew that…” he muttered, averting his gaze elsewhere. Everything was silent for what seemed like an eternity.
“Well, I hope you get other cards, Boss, 'cause some of them can be really neat," he said with a smile, his missing tooth an oddity among his other teeth.
“Uh, sure…thanks…I think,” he stammered, scratching his head.
“Now, I’ve gotta go. I’m meeting Moegi and Udon today for training!” Konohamaru waved goodbye, darting off in the other direction. Naruto saw a rock in his way and grinned devilishly. Payback time.
“Hey, Konohamaru!”
“Huh?” He craned his neck over his shoulder, not watching where he was going. His foot got caught onto the rock, causing him to fall over in the same fashion Naruto had. Naruto laughed hysterically, mocking his young adversary. Konohamaru groaned in both pain and annoyance.
“That’s what you get for messin’ with Naruto Uzumaki!”
“Yeah, yeah, very funny, Boss…” Konohamaru got up, giving Naruto a playful glare and then pointing at him boldly. “That is why you are worthy to be my rival!”
Naruto smirked at him, digging his hands into his pockets. The small boy stuck his tongue out childishly. Without another word, he walked off, Naruto doing the same.
He took a turn here and there, paying little attention to where he was going. The people on the street gave him harsh stares that were even harsher then usual. Naruto had become accustomed to this, but today he would have to watch his back carefully. His birthday was also the anniversary the Nine-Tailed
Fox had made its appearance fourteen years ago. Being the container of the very same demon…he was prone to assault.
Fourteen years…Had it really been that long?
Perhaps, but it seemed to be an even longer span of time to Naruto.
His gaze was fixated on the ground. He had no desire to see the way the villagers were looking at him. Turning away never did him any good. He could feel their stares stab at him like knives to his heart. He could hear them whisper the detestable remarks about the demon which he contained...no they were never about him. It was Kyuubi who they despised.
Naruto was one unlucky boy.
Days like this made him think. Too much, in his opinion. He would look back on his past, remembering the best and the worst. At times he could laugh and at times he could cry. These memories, good and bad, always drew tears from his crystalline blue eyes.
He thought of his early childhood, comparing it to his existence now. Being shunned and beaten day in and day out had done a great toll on his young mind. Back then, he didn’t even know why the village hated him so. Back then…he was truly alone, caught in a world of hatred. He wondered: What would have happened if he’d never escaped that dark, lonely hole?
It may have been his birthday, but he didn’t feel any older. He did feel different, though. Ever since the incident nearly a year ago, he became more and more conscious of the Fox’s presence within him, especially when the moon was near its full phase. He tried his best to predict when it would occur, allowing him to flee from the village before it happened. It was his duty as a leaf shinobi and future Hokage to protect this place with all his heart.
But his current condition would not synchronize with his dream, so he would think. In his and thousands of others eyes he was a monster.
While walking, he heard his stomach grumble with hunger. He held it, scowling. Now, he regretted leaving without breakfast. Lucky for Naruto, Ichiraku wasn’t too far off and Gama-chan had plenty of money stuffed inside him. He continued on, humming cheerfully until Ichiraku Ramen was only a stretch away.
Naruto noticed a single person who was sitting at the bar. You couldn’t see his face, due to the drapes that hung halfway down. He could tell it was a ninja, wearing the green chunin vest and the traditional sandals. Naruto pulled the curtains aside carefully. He smiled overjoyed.
“Hi, Iruka-sensei!” he greeted the young man eating a bowl of ramen.
“Hm…?” the man mumbled turning his head towards the voice. The scar dashed across his face was definitive as always and his hair was up in that tall, messy ponytail. A single noodle dangled from his mouth. He quickly slurped it up and grinned. “Oh, h-hello Naruto. What brings you here?”
The man behind the counter, Teuchi, laughed warm heartedly. “Hey, Kid! Long-time no see, eh?” he said enthusiastically. “Where’ve you been?”
“Just…around. Y’know, missions to take care of and training to do,” Naruto replied while taking a seat next to his old teacher. “Can’t seem to make time to come anymore.”
“I can tell. Kakashi’s told me how busy you guys have been,” Iruka complied after taking a bite. “How many is it now? Six or seven C-ranks?”
“Seven, and a low level B-rank.”
“Wow, you really have been working hard,” he acknowledged. “Now before I forget…” Iruka searched his pockets frantically. He grumbled profanities, trying to locate the item. He sighed, his search in vain.
“I’m sorry, Naruto. I guess I forgot your present at home. Happy Birthday, anyways.”
Naruto smirked, shutting a single eye. “At least one of us remembered.”
Iruka took a bite of his ramen. He gave Naruto a suspicious look. “Don’t tell me you forgot again, did you?” he said, his mouth still full.
“No...” Naruto coughed. “Okay…maybe…yes.” Iruka chuckled again, swallowing the ramen.
“Who reminded you this time?”
“Konohamaru. He came right behind me and yelled it at me…” he complained. “And he gave me this.” Naruto pulled out the card that he received and handed it to Iruka. He laughed a little, returning the folded paper after reading it.
“That’s right, I saw him passing this around in class yesterday.”
“So, Naruto,” Teuchi interrupted, “what’ll you be having today?” Both he and his daughter were staring at him. Iruka returned to his bowl for a moment after giving Naruto a smug look.
“Hm? Oh, right.” Naruto had forgotten how hungry he was. He looked at the menu for a moment before deciding. “I’ll just have the usual. Miso barbequed pork, but uh…hold on the vegetables and…double the pork.”
Iruka stopped eating immediately. He stared at Naruto with an eyebrow raised. Teuchi nodded and Ayame proceeded to cooking his order. It was as if they didn’t notice anything wrong, yet Iruka did.
“Hm...I don’t recall you liking meat that much, Naruto,” he stated skeptically. Naruto tensed up, fairly noticeably too. “I know Kakashi has told you this before, but you can’t live off of one food group…”
“Damn you, Fox,” he thought furiously, his eyes strained away from his sensei. Knowing Iruka was suspicious, he quickly formulated a believable excuse. “I dunno…I guess I’m just not in the mood for veggies today.”
“Is that so…” Truth, he was aware of abnormalities in Naruto’s behavior lately. Iruka did not see him as often as he used to and he never seemed to be with the other members of Team 7 either. He’d gotten quieter and became somewhat more serious.
“Come to think of it…he’s been disappearing a lot lately…” he thought, resting his chin on his hands. “What the devil is wrong with that boy?”
“Something wrong, Sensei?”
Iruka snapped out of his trance, returning his attention towards Naruto. “Huh…? Oh, oh it’s nothing. Really!” He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. Naruto gave him an angered look. “Nothing for you to worry about!”
Naruto simply nodded. He continued watching Ayame prepare his bowl of ramen, tapping the counter impatiently. The mere scent of it was making his stomach growl. He clutched it, growling back at it in his mind. Now he was just itching to get a bite of that ramen.
After a few more minutes, his meal was ready to go. Teuchi placed the decorative glass bowl in front of him and handed him a pair of chopsticks with a smile. “It’s on the house, Kid.”
Naruto held his hands up in protest. “No, no! I’ve…I’ve got money. I can pay.”
“Nonsense. It’s your birthday! Consider it a present from Ayame and me.”
Naruto grinned that sly grin of his, clicking his chopsticks together once.
“Thanks a bunch, Old Man!” He then dug into the bowl, slurping down the noodles and taking large bites of the pork, a goofy smile spread on his face as he chewed. Heaven was the only word suitable to describe its taste. Iruka stared at him nervously, frightened by how viciously he ate.
“Hungry today, isn’t he Dad?” Ayame asked.
“Sure is,” he replied, point blank.
Iruka rubbed his head, laughing at himself. “What am I getting myself worked up for…Naruto’s fine! …At least…I hope so.”
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As the day started to die and the night was creeping, Naruto sat atop the roof of his apartment as he did every night. He had a single knee bent up, his arm resting on it as he stared into the falling sun. Birds flew across the sky and a light wind blew. The people in the streets were slowly retiring to their homes. His muscles tensed and he clenched his eyes shut. It reminded him of…that night. The night when his true curse began.
By light of the moon in a full phase, he is forced from boy to beast in a matter of seconds. Though, this was not your typical were-creature like in the movies and books. It was something even more evil. More devastating and powerful. Bloodthirsty and unmerciful. Demon is its only convenient term, though it isn’t one. It only resembled one. The king of all the tailed-beasts.
The Nine-Tailed Fox.
The secret had been kept for so long, it astonished even him. By now, he assumed somebody would have found out what was happening to him. In a way, Naruto hoped someone would. The right person. The one that would help him—save him—from this never ending horror.
He felt a lone tear drip down his cheek. He was very grateful that full moon would not be until tomorrow. It was as if the Gods themselves prevented it as a gift to Naruto. Still, the thought of ever becoming such a monster haunted him day in and out. It was hard for him to sleep at night, knowing those horrific nightmares would come with his slumber.
Naruto sighed deeply. He thought it was time he at least try to get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a rough day and the rest would do him good. Just as he got up, he heard something coming. On reflex he pulled out a kunai knife from his pouch and stared in the direction the sound came from. Whoever was coming had paused. Naruto growled angrily.
“Show yourself, coward,” he commanded darkly, grasping tighter to his knife. What if it was someone trying to hurt him? They would be no match for him. He was at his strongest at night and with the sun so low, he was nearing his peak.
A pair of slender hands appeared at the roof’s edge. Naruto sneered, hearing grunts of annoyance as the intruder attempted to get on top. His scowl turned into a grin. Easy prey, he would call it. He let out a battle cry as he charged with the intent of killing.
The person managed to lift herself half way, panting and sweating. She looked up and gasped in fear.
“Wait, Naruto!” she screamed. “It’s just me!”
Naruto stopped in his tracks before reaching the edge, the kunai knife just near the intruder’s neck. She strained her head away from the blade uncomfortably and she seemed to have stopped breathing. He looked down upon a familiar girl. Short pink hair tied by her forehead protector, emerald green eyes filled with worry, and her same red dress that hung just above her knees.
“Oh. It’s you…Sakura,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. He put the kunai knife back into its pouch. She exhaled with relief. “Sorry. Did I scare you?
“N-no, not really,” she lied. His expression was frightening and almost angry. She saw him hold out a hand. She jumped slightly, thinking he really was going to attack.
“Do you need a hand?”
“I-I’m fine…Naruto--really!” She tried again and again to pull herself up. Naruto stood there frozen, a smirk upon his face as he waited for her to give up. Sakura sighed in defeat and nodded, grasping his hand. Naruto bent down and wrapped his other arm around her waist, lifting her up with little effort. He gently placed her down and let go.
Sakura had to tilt her head up for their eyes to meet. His irises were so cold, piercing her heart like daggers. The small smile he held was nearly as frightening. There definitely was something odd. If she knew Naruto, he would have held her longer and made an attempt to romance her. He didn’t, though. Surprised, she had nearly forgotten her reason for coming.
“Something’s not right about him. It’s like…he’s not even Naruto,” she thought as she stared at him, her lips slightly parted.
“So, what do you need, Sakura?” he asked, paying little attention to her reaction.
“He’s not calling me –chan either…”
“Sakura?”
She blinked once, shattering the trance his unfeeling eyes held her in. “Oh…oh, sorry. I just…spaced off for a second.”
“It’s all right. What do you need?”
Sakura shifted her gaze to the roof shingles. “W-well, I thought I should come and tell you Happy Birthday…y’know…before it was actually over.”
“Oh…thanks…I guess,” he muttered, looking into the setting sun with a sorrowful expression. What was he so troubled about?
“Something wrong?” Sakura asked in a concerned tone.
“Hm? No. Why would there be?” he lied easily.
“You just seem…upset, is all. Come to think of it…” She paused for a moment. “You always seem upset and…you’re always running away. We never see you anymore besides mission days, and even then you aren’t acting like…the Naruto we know. Please, Naruto. Can’t you tell us what’s wrong? Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke-kun…and me…we’re all…really worried about you lately and—”
Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be,” he interrupted, his voice dark. Sakura stared at him in shock. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.”
Naruto slowly turned and walked away, feeling terrible for causing unease in his teammates. Sakura reached out in attempt to make him stay, but he evaded it. Feeling just as bad, she simply watched him, the faint glow of the sun illuminating around his outline.
“Wait, where are you going?” she cried out. He stopped at the opposite edge of the roof and sighed, his gaze back to her. Sakura observed his facial expression. His eyes glistened with tears of pain.
“I’m sorry, Sakura.” His voice was hoarse. “I just need some time to think. I’ll…see you tomorrow.” He jerked away just before a single tear fell from his eye.
Without another word, he jumped off and slid down to the balcony. Sakura just stood there puzzled, her lips curled into a frown.
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Tears streamed down his face, but he was not sobbing. He reached into his front pocket and removed his key. He inserted it into the keyhole, taking his time unlocking the door while swallowing a lump in his throat. Naruto looked back, making sure Sakura was not following him. He rubbed the tears away with his coat sleeve as he entered his small home.
“All right…quit with the waterworks Naruto,” he told himself while stumbling for the light switch. “Remember the rules. You’re a ninja…and ninjas…can’t show emotion.”
He managed to flip the switch. The crude ceiling lamp above the kitchen table lit up brightly. His head tilted to the side. Something was there that wasn’t there before.
A colorfully wrapped, medium sized box.
From Iruka-sensei, maybe?
Cautiously, he approached it, in case it was some sort of trap. Next to the box was a written note, the pen used still next to it. Naruto took the note off the table and read it.
Naruto,
I was going to give you this in person, but you weren’t home. Your door was locked…so I sort of came in through your bedroom window. Anyways, Happy Birthday. Hope you like what I got you.
Sakura
“Sakura…”
He looked at the gift. Its wrapping was striped in many colors. On top, a shiny red bow was placed. He now felt even worse than ever. She had the heart to give him something, yet he had just pushed her away like nothing. Was he even worthy to open it? Should he give it back? Naruto sighed.
He sat down in the chair, folding his hands together. His heart seemed to beat slowly and a sickening feeling clotted in his throat. He did not mean to be like this. To be so harsh…and sometimes cruel. When he pushed others, it was merely an act of kindness. He never wanted to hurt anyone, especially those he loved. It worked, but at the same time…he was still causing pain.
Naruto pulled the present closer to him. He detached the bow and proceeded to tearing the paper off. Underneath was a simple cardboard box. He opened the top and reached inside. The material was rigid, but slightly smooth. He grasped the object and removed it from the container.
It was a brand new, dark green bag, specially designed for ninja. Its many pouches could easily contain enough supplies to last a one week mission: two main ones, four scroll holders, a small front pouch, and two others on the sides. Sturdy, yet light, it would definitely come in handy. His old travel pack was starting to wear out and was tearing. How did Sakura know though?
The corners of Naruto’s mouth twitched up into a smile. He set his present on the table next to the shredded wrapping. He was too lazy to clean up, so he set his destination to his bedroom to do as he promised: try to get some sleep. As he rose from his seat, a knock came from his door. He averted his gaze to the tiled floor. He had no desire for visitors, but…what if it was important?
The guest knocked again, louder this time.
“Naruto…are you in there?” asked a muffled voice. Naruto could not tell who it was. He hesitated for a moment.
“Y-yeah. I’m here. Coming.”
Naruto moved toward the door and opened it just a crack. He glimpsed out it, expecting someone like Sasuke or Shikamaru. It was Iruka-sensei.
“May I come in…Naruto?” he said, his eyes pleading. Naruto nodded numbly, knowing he meant him no harm. He pulled the door open all the way and gestured him in.
“It’s a bit of a mess, right now. I hope you don’t mind,” he mumbled.
“N-not at all,” Iruka replied, stifling a laugh and advancing inside. He took notice to the torn wrapping paper. “Looks like somebody gave you a present. Who?”
“Sakura.”
“Haruno?”
“Yeah.”
Iruka chuckled. “Now I thought she didn’t like you…”
Naruto shrugged. “She cares, I guess.”
“Speaking of presents…” Iruka reached into a pocket normally meant for kunai or shuriken stars and seized a long, dark blue box. He handed it to Naruto with a joyful grin. “S-sorry it isn’t wrapped. I didn’t think you would mind.”
Naruto smiled. “I guess I don’t.”
He then removed the lid. His expression held a touch of confusion and bewilderment. Cushioned in the box was a polished, dark gray kunai knife. It glimmered in the light as if it were never used. Naruto lifted it from its pad and studied it closely. Something in Kanji was carved into it. Quietly, he read it aloud.
“The will of fire…burns strong…within the ninja who…gains love and returns it?” he said questioningly. Iruka sighed and then smirked.
“M-my father…gave this to me…when I was very young. His father…gave it to him and his father’s father passed it down as well...dating all the way back to the First Hokage. My father told me…it symbolizes the importance of love. How love…is just as crucial as ability when you are a shinobi.”
“But why…are you giving it to me, Iruka-sensei?” Naruto asked, looking at the knife again. “Wouldn’t you want to give it to your own son?”
“You know I don’t have one, though.”
“You will someday.”
Iruka shook his head. “It’s complicated, Naruto. As much as I’d love to have a son of my own…I…I know it seems…like we’ve grown apart since you graduated…but…even yet…” Naruto let their eyes meet to show he was paying attention. “You’re like a son to me.”
Naruto’s eyes widened. “Sensei…” he breathed in shock. He always knew his old teacher cared for him, but…he never knew this much.
“That is why...I'm giving it to you...Naruto,” Iruka continued. He kneeled down to eye level with Naruto, placing his hand on his shoulder. He embraced him in a soft hug. The blonde boy stood still, looking foreward, completely baffled.
“Sometimes...I wish...I could have told you this sooner. I'm sorry. If you could...forgive me..."
Naruto closed his eyes softly. There was nothing for Iruka to be sorry for. There was nothing for him to forgive. It was no one’s fault, but his. Naruto gazed out the window, eyes set on the near full moon. Guilt ridden, he felt his chest tighten with familiar emotional ache. He deceived them all…and it pained him so. Everything was his fault. Everything.
Iruka released the hug, but his hands were still clasped to Naruto's shoulders. A weak smile was on his face.
"You know...if there’s anything wrong...anything at all...you can tell me. I'll...I'll help you. No matter what it is."
Naruto glanced at the moon, tears filling his eyes. "Y-yeah...I know..."
“If only you knew…Sensei…If only…you knew…”
End of Chapter
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