The Akatsuki once were a team, but now have broken up. Each member went their separate ways, to get on to a more simple life. So now we begin to focus on one question--WHERE ARE THEY NOW???...

  Well, since the Akatsuki broke up, Pain and Konan decided to let out their true feelings for each other. So the two love-birds had (finally) got married and had 37 beautiful children.

*baby cries*

Pain: Honey, your turn to feed number 28.

  Itachi, after leaving Akatsuki, was ironically turned over to the police and was nearly arrested. But when he had his bloodtest, they soon found out that Itachi's long lost relatives were weasels. So in court, the judge had sentenced him to community service in the "Save-the-Weasels” foundation at the village zoo.

Itachi: Uhh, guys? I'm sweaty, and this costume's REALLY itching me!!

  Meanwhile when Kisame had left though, he decided to live his dream as a heart-throbbing, male super-model in L.A. One fashion designer there saw him as the beginning of a new trend called "Fish-faced flair", and had his face on the cover of the latest issue of "Style magazine". Later, he agreed to become the new spokes-celebrity for the Pepsi commercials.

Kisame: Want to bring out the blue in you? Get Pepsi! *holds up Pepsi* *teeth glimmer*

  After coming back from the dead thanks to some heart surgery, Sasori, no longer a human death-toy has learned to appreciate life in so many ways, despite all the bad things he done. And with no use for his broken, dead puppets, he decides to auction them all off on E-Bay, living the rest of his life as a mannequin on the window of the nearest shopping mall.

Sasori: How long am I going to actually stay in this pose for? *does a gay-looking pose*

  Deidara started to have no interest in art anymore, and became a stand-up comic/ventriloquist (thanks to his talking hands).

Deidara: Hey Lefty! Why did the nuclear bomb need a tissue so badly?

Dei's left hand: To “blow” his nose!:-D

  Kakuzu thought he was very fortunate to leave Akatsuki, because once he left, he found an oil spill from under the ground near his house and became a successful billionaire!

Kakuzu: Whoo-hooo!! Money bath!!!! *bathes in money*

  Hidan, with no place to go, couldn’t find a descent job since he scared the living crap out of everybody else.  But one day, after one tiny incident with the weed hacker, his head was rolling toward a circus and became the new main attraction.

Hidan: Behold!  It is I, Hidan, the Amazing Talking Separate Head!

  Zetsu became the world’s first freakish-plantlike-cannibal rock star, who eventually entered in becoming a contestant in “Dancing with the Stars”.  At the competition, he got second place, only to be beaten in first place by country singer, Billy Ray Cyrus. When backstage, the cannibal flytrap was seen chewing the man’s legs off and started calling him a redneck.

Zetsu: No use dancing anymore without any legs to spare. Hahahahaha! *Billy Ray gets pulled onto a hospital bed into an ambulance*

  And finally, Tobi’s just trying to figure out if he’s really Madara or Obito Uchiha.

Tobi: No seriously, who AM I?!!

                        THE END