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Sasuke's True Story by Hollow_Trinity

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Chapter notes: I don't own Naruto, but I will, dammit!! >.< I was bored, so decided to write Sasuke's views on the series. ^^ Yup, this may have a lot of chapters... I'll skip the boring episodes.
Episode 3: (YAY YAOI!)

I sat in the classroom, the famous Uchiha bored expression plastered to my face. But, in reality, I was happier than ever. The kid sitting in front of me looked normal, but he was more than meets the eye. I had payed him to push Naruto in me, so today I was happier than... well, I would make a joke about a tornado in a trailer park, but I won't. DEAL WITH IT! >,<

Anywho, I sat there, and waited. -cricket chirp- And waited some more... -cricket chirp- And then, I blinked. -cricket chirp- WHAT?? -cough- Anyways, then Naruto runs in, and sits next to me. I then had a vicious battle with my hormones, but luckily I won. Then, the bitch came in. Sakura... all pink and stuff. I hate pink. I like black and blue and red. Sakura likes pink. And TenTen. Eeeew, yuri! -cough- Anywho, she's all like: 'OMFG INO, I SO WON THAT RACE' and Ino's all like 'WELL I HAD BLACKBERRY COBBLER LAST NIGHT! THEN I WENT TO THE BATHROOM!' And then... ah, the hell with it. Who cares?

And then, bla bla bla, then I see Naruto standing on my desk. Apparently, the kid in front of me notices too. Naruto growls. I nearly laugh. Heh heh, he sounded like a cow. Heh heh... moo. -cough cough- Oh yeah, the plot. OK, so the kid screams: "HORMONE MAN TO THE RESCUE!" And pushes Naruto. And then some random girl screams "NARUSASU FOREVER!" And then, some kid burps. And then we kissed. It was awesome. Completely. Fucking. Awesome. I felt like jumping up and screaming 'I'M NOT NOT NOT STRAIGHT!' Just at that moment. But I didn't, cause then I would get confused. So instead, I gagged. Why? Because I choked on my own spit, that's why. Apparently, Naruto did too. Or something like that. And then I was bored, because then we were lectured. Some people coughed, some shuffled their feet, and Sakura acted like a bitch, and was all like: I WANNA SIT NEXT TO TENTEN! WHERE'S TENTEN! TENTEN NEEDS MORE SCREEN-TIME! I WANT COFFEE! And bla bla bla... And then, I found out it was lunch, so I sat in a random building, and hoped for the best. And then, my prayers were answered. Naruto jumped me and tied me up! I thought: Oh yeah, this'll be great! But then, my heart shattered. He LEFT! And then I was mad, so I tried to scream, but I ended up making a weird noise like a constipated weiner dog. Heh heh... weiner dog. Moo.
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