Hello and welcome. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, from the hit anime TV show, Naruto. Here with me today is Sasuke Uchiha, my best friend and rival from Naruto. Say hi Sasuke.
Hn.
You can see how well he stays in character.
Now we are here to tell you “fanfiction” writers the truth about us. We have been reading your fanfics, stories about us in many different situations and we would like to point out some things that we have found to be untrue when describing us to your readers.
One: I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!! I have a very MANLY figure and refuse to read one more thing that says I look like a damn GIRL!!!
SASUKE!!! Quit snickering back there! It isn’t funny!
Oh but it is Naru-CHAN.
What the hell did you just call be bastard?!
Please excuse us for a moment.
*random punches, kicks, kunai, and curses are heard from back stage.*
And we’re back!
Two: Why am I always UKE? First you write that I look like a girl and then you let the bastard top me?!?
I didn’t hear you complaining last night.
S-shut up you freaking bastard!!! Why did I even let you do this with me?
Don’t ask me, dobe.
DON’T CALL ME THAT!!! That’s it one more word out of you and the only one complaining will be you when you’re jacking off into your hand.
You wouldn’t dare.
Try me.
*shuts up*
Now then…
Three: I don’t know what you guys are freaking watching, but when I see my show I do not see silkily haired ninjas! I hate to break it to you ladies and gentlemen, but MY HAIR IS NOT SOFT!!! It is even a bit greasy. I don’t get to the hot springs a lot between missions and other stuff, so I can not keep my hair to the perfection you authors expect it to be!
Same goes for Sasuke! He may be the picture of perfection in your crazy fangirl eyes, or maybe you hate him, but he does not have and I quote ‘Black locks so soft that Naruto was sure he was tugging silk instead of hair.’ No matter how well it sounds, it isn’t TRUE!!! Believe me I know.
Do you want to say anything about this topic Sasuke?
*still shutting up*
That’s what I thought.
Four: Okay people. I know you can’t tell from your TV screen, but I wish you could infer. WE STINK. I mean we smell bad sometimes. We do not smell like roses and the forest, no we ninjas sweat not just in bed, but everywhere. And I have yet to find a store that sells deodorant at a good price on a genin’s salary.
Isn’t that right Sasuke?
*trying to stay shutting up, face red with effort*
Excellent.
Five: I DO NOT ALWAYS TASTE LIKE RAMEN. Nor cinnamon, vanilla, or anything you guys think of. I don’t know what I taste like, but I know Sasuke doesn’t taste spicy or anything like that, nope. I’m not sure how to describe how he tastes, but it isn’t food related!
I can describe how you taste in just one word Naruto: Addictive. Are you almost done? I think I need another taste to be sure.
THAT’S IT YOUR NOT GETTING ANOTHER “TASTE” FOR THE NEXT WEEK!!!
Don’t be like that Naru-chan.
STOP CALLING ME THAT!!
I’m sorry Naruto. Can’t you just find someway to forgive me?
S-sasuke. S-stop…L-let go…t-the camera is still on.
But I need you to forgive me.
J-just turn off the camera b-bastard.
That’s all folks, Naruto is a little busy at the moment, but remember what he said. Try not to describe us so wrong, keep the facts straight.
*screen goes black*
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Chapter notes: Hi there. Well this started out as a conversation between me and Chayton. See she asked me if the people off Naruto wore deodorant or not and if they didn't did they stink. And I was like I don't know. So then we got into this whole big discussion and well I made this...so yeah...Enjoy! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^