As lazy as he was, Shikamaru had a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night. He liked watching the stars almost as much as watching the clouds, not to mention how beautiful clouds were in moonlight. But this night he had something else to watch.
Temari was sleeping next to him in the bed, hair let down and the covering draped delicately over her beautiful body. He’d discovered several scars and old injuries on it by now, and he traced them in his mind even though they were covered. The lights that they’d left burning had been put out, only the moonlight coming in through the window made it able for him to see her face in the darkness. She was beautiful indeed, so peaceful and relaxed in sleep but still holding on to that strength she had within.
He rested on one elbow and wished he could caress her face, but he was afraid of waking her. She had a long way to go tomorrow, she needed her sleep. Reluctantly he lay down next to her, pulled her closer and felt her nestle in against his body. But he didn’t shut his eyes, didn’t want to go to sleep. Once he fell asleep he would soon wake up, and once he woke up she would have to go. He didn’t want her to go, didn’t want to lose her again now that he had had her. Placing a soft kiss on her smooth forehead, not decorated by any scars since she wore her forehead protector where the name suggested it be worn, and gave up as sleep pulled him down.
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When Temari first woke up she was a bit disoriented. But the body that was pressed softly against her, along with the arms that held her, soon reminded her of the events of the past night. Her first feeling was comfort, then followed joy of finally being with the man she wanted to be with, and finally came despair. Today she was going home, back home to Wind and Sand. Sure it held her brothers whom she loved and longed for, but that longing was of a completely different kind than the one that had been in her heart for years and years. A longing she felt no traces of right now.
Stirring slightly she found that Shikamaru was not so easily woken. It shouldn’t have surprised her, and she didn’t know if it pleased or grieved her. What definitely pleased her was that though he was still asleep, Shikamaru tightened his grip around her when she tried to move away from him. That if anything told her that he didn’t want to let go of her, and for once such knowledge neither scared nor repulsed her. Temari had never wished to be captured by a man, held without being able to leave, but now it filled her with warmth as Shikamaru almost refused to give up his grip around her body.
Slowly she managed to slip away from him though, her body instantly cold and already longing for his embrace again, without waking him. Using the bathroom she very quickly, very quietly refreshed herself before pulling her scattered clothes back on. It was early, the sun had barely risen outside the window, and she took the time to watch him sleep for a few minutes before turning her back on him and walking out the bedroom door.
The petit living room already held a familiar feeling to it, and she didn’t even dare to throw a look into the kitchen where they had made dinner last night. How long had it been since she last cooked? She couldn’t even remember. Being one of the best Jounin in the country, not to mention the Kazekage’s sister, had some advantages. Thus last nights culinary escapades had been very special in more than one way. But she pushed all such thoughts aside, walked over to the door and opened it slowly so that it wouldn’t squeak.
“Is that all I get…?” The words caused Temari to freeze up by the open door. “You sneaking out without a word…?”
The words pierced her heart with pain even though they held no anger in them at all. Her forehead that had been so smooth in the middle of the night was wrinkled, her eyes closed as she tried to force herself to turn around. Shikamaru gave her all the time she needed, let her decide what she wanted to do. Should she choose to walk out that door now, all he could do was let her go. Right?
Finally she managed to gather up the strength to face him. He stood leaned to the bedroom doorframe, nothing but a sheet wrapped around his lower body. It seemed he’d woken minutes earlier, and it was the truth. His body had felt something missing, and once such a signal reached his brain he opened his eyes to find the bed empty. Never before had he been out of bed faster, the sheet pulled along as he stood up and wrapped around his body while he entered the living room.
Green melted into brown once more as their eyes locked, none of them moving either towards or away from the other. Yesterday’s desire was satisfied; today their eyes spoke of something else. Something deeper, more meaningful. But it was glazed over with sorrow, for they both realized what this moment meant. Shikamaru could ask her to stay, beg her to come live in Konoha. Temari could ask him to come with her back to the Sand Village, but she had chosen to sneak out. Or attempted to anyhow.
Unlike yesterday it was Shikamaru who took the first step. By just pushing himself away from the doorframe and taking a single step towards her, he broke the awkward feeling her failed attempt had caused. Temari gave in as well, meeting him halfway across the room and falling into the embrace her was offering. She’d never felt so vulnerable in her life, so torn apart and so close to tears.
“Don’t go,” he whispered into her hair, arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders. There was something sorrow in his voice, as if he already knew what her answer would be. Yet she couldn’t give any. She merely wrapped her arms around his naked torso and stood there, face pressed towards his chest as a few tears trickled down her cheeks.
When they finally pulled apart they already knew she was going, both of them. There was a smile on Shikamaru’s lips, but his eyes were grieving. Temari couldn’t even make a false smile. She felt…heartbroken, like that time when Gaara was taken by Akatsuki and Kankuro poisoned by Sasori of the Red Sand. Only this was on another level, an emotional level whereas said event had been on a family one.
Copying her actions of yesterday, Temari grabbed Shikamaru’s shoulders from behind and pulled herself up on tiptoes. He in returned leaned down in the exact same way as last night, until their lips met in a soft kiss. It was sweet and loving, but oh so sad. Like a goodbye.
Temari was the first to retire, eyes closed and a sob held back in her throat. “I have to go,” she said and looked up at him. “Sand is my home, just as Konoha is yours.” Shikamaru smiled that sad smile again and tucked a few strands of her loose hair behind her ear. He was not the ninja who had Konoha closest at heart, but even he would’ve had a hard time leaving the Village hidden among the Leaves. Temari had such close connections to her village, and to her brothers. How could he ask her to not return?
“Tell Gaara and Kankuro I said hello.”
It hurt so much to hear, and Temari could see it also hurt Shikamaru to say the words. He was giving up the grip around her she had so cherished when she first woke up in his bed. But he kept a piece of her heart, and she felt like she was taking a little bit of his with her too. She swallowed hard and slipped away from the warmth of his body and embrace.
“I will.”
She smiled; an honest smile that still rivaled his in sadness. Slowly she turned around and returned to the still open door. Holding on to it with one hand she hesitated to walk out, leave all of this behind.
“Temari.” She turned halfway towards him, her hair a golden aura around her as the sun shone down at her. “I love you…”
“I love you too, Shikamaru.”
And with that she was gone; out the door and out of the city before she had a chance to change her mind again. Tears flowed freely down her face and blurred her vision, but she hardly stopped to rest at all until she reached the Hidden Village of Sand less than three days later. Gaara never said anything about it, but he was surprised to see his sister back in the Wind Country.
Shikamaru closed the door behind Temari, having stood in it and stared out into the street for a long time. He didn’t regret anything; last night had fulfilled so many dreams. But as he returned to the bed, slipped in between the coverings and buried his nose in the pillow that still smelled faintly of her, he couldn’t keep a few tears from falling. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be seeing Temari for a long, long time. If he ever got to see her again.
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Chapter notes: Final chapter. I'll say no more than that. Please review, reviews is what made me write this chapter up when I really should be studying for my exam on Friday... Enjoy.