We turn the lights off to find a way out.
No time to get through, to grasp what was lost;
Don't turn the light off and leave me in the dark.
Hey, I'm pleading, my soul is bleeding.
I don't want to be left alone, not when I'm right next to you.
What are you thinking? It’s so misleading,
Is it not for me to know, I think it's just hard for you to show.
By
Trapt
Since Neji had come to see me, I found myself agitated and pensive. I couldn’t concentrate on much for long, I kept worrying that Tsunade would burst through the door and drag me off to her hospital. I dreamt of tests, of being pushed through a maze like a lab rat, of the drugs injected into my body and the pointless questions. I didn’t want them to dredge up something that I had already begun accepting.
The idea that maybe Tsunade could find a cure for my affliction was tempting and at some points during the long stretch between visits, I contemplated giving Neji consent to tell her. Then the dreams would come and it would provoke the thoughts, making me sick with memories of Kabuto’s horrific labs.
I forced my mind to the plants that my fingers were tenderly tucking into the moist soil. Before starting this, I never understood what Naruto’s fascination with plants had been. I had figured it was just a repressed craving for wanting to play in mud puddles or get dirty like other normal kids would do but after today, I realized that there was something therapeutic about it. It was a balance; nurturing life with the same hands that seemed only capable of harming and maiming.
The sun was out and all of its heat seemed to be centered on the shoulders of my dark blue yukata. I loosened the obi and tugged at the folds of the robe. Pushing it further away, baring more flesh to the ruthless brilliant orb, the warning of sunburn crossed my mind but I was far too immersed in planting the little shrubs that I couldn’t tear myself away to get sun block.
“Uchiha-kun, you shouldn’t be in the sun you will get sunstroke.” Neji’s voice called.
I sat back on my heels and glared at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check up on you.” He had the grace to look away as he said it.
Picking up a small gardening spade, I hurled it at the man. It soared through the air and with a speed that Hyuuga had barely enough time to dodge before it went whistling by his head. “As you can see, I’m fine. Just because I can’t use my jutsu doesn’t mean I am completely defenseless, if that’s what you are concerned with.”
He took a deep breath through his nose before saying, “You are my charge. I have to care.”
“And I’m sure that’s what you had intended on doing once you were given the task to baby sit me--- care, that is.” I said sarcastically, slowly rising and brushing the dirt that clung to the sweat damp cotton that covered my lap.
“If you’d like, I can go to the Hokage about this.” He snapped back.
I ground my teeth at the threat. I was in no position to threaten him. I had nothing to bribe the Hyuuga with--- and I was sure he wasn’t that easy to persuade anyway. The only thing I could do was keep on his good side and prove that nothing was wrong. I sat down on the step before taking up a towel and wiping the dirt off my feet. “A typical Hyuuga; threatening and controlling anyone they catch a whiff of vulnerability from.” I growled before shaking the crumbs off of the towel and padding past him, into the airy living room.
“That’s not what I meant.” He said calmly, his gaze following me across the room where I picked up the shovel and walked back to the doors to drop it in amongst a bucket of tools I had been using to garden with.
“Is it?” I asked lightly, still not willing to meet his gaze.
Remembering lemonade in the fridge, I took out two glasses and dropped ice cubes into it from a tray in the freezer. Pouring the tangy juice, my mouth watered in anticipation as I caught the smell of it on the muggy air. Hyuuga stood behind me, watching my every move. I suspected I was being scrutinized for any reason to go to the Hokage and tell her about my problem. I set the glass on the counter and pushed it hard enough for it to slide across. He looked at it as if I had poisoned it and after deciding it was okay, he picked it up and took a small sip.
I settled back on the veranda, tucking my feet beneath me and leaning heavily against the support beam on my right side. The cicadas cried a raucous reminder of the heat, I could imagine the translation of their song, ‘It’s hot! it’s hot!’ I wanted to peel the yukata off of my skin and lay naked in the shade but unfortunately, the persistent presence of Hyuuga had me doing other things.
He settled beside me, his feet swinging over the edge of the porch as he took a delicate sip from the glass. Strangely enough –and to my own chagrin, I enjoyed the silent company beside me. I didn’t bother to acknowledge him with neither kind banter (had I ever participated in kind banter, to begin with?) or the insults that I was more accustomed to. I simply sat and let him be, sipping my lemonade as I basked in the stifling heat and his stony presence.
“Have you even bothered to try finding a cure for your condition, Uchiha-kun?” Hyuuga asked suddenly, shattering the sleepy contentment that had begun to settle over me.
Taking a drink, I pondered his question before answering, “It’s something I just know, Hyuuga-kun.”
“How?” His eyes wandered across my body, seeing things that made my slightly uncomfortable. “There’s got to be a reason why the chakra has been staunched. There has to be a source.”
Losing my patience, I slammed the glass on the hardwood floor beside me. “I am not discussing this with you.” I heard myself say quietly. “Now you may leave and do not come back until next week when you bring my grocery order.”
As Hyuuga walked out the door, I asked, “When’s the dobe going to be back?”
“He’s not.” He grated as he opened the door and stepped out, “He requested to be put off of the assignment.”
He stood outside the door, in the dusty street of the Uchiha district feeling guilty for the bomb he had just dropped on the already burdened man. He bit his lip, overcoming the desire to go back in and apologize. ‘What is done is done.’ Neji reasoned before taking a deep breath to even his temper. Now he understood why Naruto was on the verge of losing his temper with Sasuke. It would be an understatement to say that the man was difficult to handle.
Gathering his long, dark hair in one hand, he pulled it up into a high ponytail. The delicate hair on the back of his neck stuck to his sweaty skin, making him feel dirty. He ran a hand over it, and then rubbed the moisture on his pants.
“Wait.” Sasuke’s voice barked and Neji turned around to see him dash out of the house. The road was immediately crowded with dark figures swathed in cloaks, faces covered with masks. Half a dozen swords had cleared their scabbards in the blink of an eye and their points were homing in on the erratic pulse beneath the Uchiha’s pale skin. “I want to talk to him.”
“Get back in the house.” A voice ordered behind a mask that had black and red circles across its white forehead.
“Where is he, Neji?” Sasuke ignored the order and glared at the Hyuuga.
“I didn’t give you permission to use my first name, Uchiha-kun” Neji said, his eyes narrowing as he walked towards the man who was being crowded in by swords and ANBU. “Now get back in the house before they kill you.”
“Not until you tell me where he is.”
“It doesn’t matter where he is, he doesn’t want to see you.”
Too proud by too far, Neji thought as he watched Sasuke wrestle to keep the emotion off of his face. It was already obvious that the Uchiha was emotional by the way he burst passed the boundaries designated by the Hokage herself and disregarded the weapons poised to slice him to pieces.
“Get back in the house Uchiha-san. This is your last warning.” The voice behind the mask persisted.
“Tell me where he is.” Sasuke persisted, unperturbed by the ANBU’s veiled threat.
Pushing passed the cloaked figures Neji grabbed his arm and shoved him towards the door. “Get in the house, Uchiha-kun, before they run you through.” Neji gave another shove to his back, sending him stumbling through the door. “I’ve got it under control.” He said to the ANBU before slamming the door shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?” The usually unruffled Hyuuga muttered as he kicked off his sandals. “Do you want to get yourself killed?”
“Where is he, Neji?” There was something almost pathetic in the way Sasuke sat on the step leading to the rest of the house, his head down and his shoulders slumping.
“You are probably one of the most aggravating people, Uchiha-kun.” He muttered as he massaged his temples. “Listen, all I know is that he requested to be taken off of the task. There are only two people who know why he doesn’t want to see you; Naruto, himself and Hokage-sama.”
“I don’t want to see her.” Sasuke shook his head.
“Well, you aren’t going to be seeing Naruto any time soon. So do yourself a favor and either get over this fear you have of seeing the Godaime or let it go.” His eyes had a strange way of nullifying the emotion on his face, only further enhancing the serene look on his beautiful face. If there was one thing that Hyuuga Neji could say he was good at, besides the Hyuuga kekkai genkai, it was analyzing human emotion no matter how minute. At that moment, a look of despair flickered in the depths of obsidian eyes--- eyes that should have rightfully been red and swirling with the tomoe, he reminded himself.
He stood and seemed almost in a daze as he walked through the house. Hyuuga watched, having a clear view from the entrance area to clear across the other side where the hallways to the bedrooms were. He watched as Sasuke entered the bathroom and shut the door, soon after, the shower started.
For the first time in his life, Neji didn’t know what to think. The behavior that Sasuke exhibited clearly showed signs of resignation but at the same time, he exhibited denial and not a little of it, either. Was this his way of shucking off anything he didn’t want to think about? He wondered as he left the house.
The sun had sunk low in the sky, hanging there like a glutted grape on a vine. The shadows crept through the barren streets, across the hot pavement and faded brittle grass. Sounds of the village seemed to be dimming, telling him that most people had gone inside to stave off the heat of the high summer day. He wished he could do the same, but he knew he still had plenty of work to do.
“What happened?” The ANBU member asked from his perch on top of the wall in front of Sasuke’s house.
He kept walking down the street, craving distance from the haunted Uchiha district. The cloaked figure kept up, walking like a cat along the wall’s ledge. Finally, Hyuuga answered, “Uchiha found out that Uzumaki won’t see him anymore.”
“You weren’t supposed to tell him. Hokage-sama gave you strict orders to keep that knowledge from him.”
“He guessed it himself.” Neji lied although he had known that the ANBU member knew otherwise. “I suggest that it be kept between you and me, Nara-kun.” He said lightly, passing through the gates that divided the Uchiha district and into the main city.
“Che. I have to report it.” He said, hopping down onto the pavement in front of the Hyuuga.
“And as your commanding officer, I am giving you a direct order to keep what you heard to yourself.”
“I can’t obey those orders; they conflict with my vow to the Hokage-sama. You know this, Hyuuga-taichou.” Shikamaru pulled off the mask, letting the warm air caress his flushed and sweaty face.
“Well then do it for your friend, Uzumaki Naruto. If she finds out that he went ballistic after hearing Uzumaki-kun would not be returning, she’ll put him back on the assignment. Trust me, this wouldn’t be a good thing for either of them. Uzumaki-kun would probably end up doing something very rash and very stupid to the Uchiha.”
“Since when did you start referring to Uchiha Sasuke as ‘The Uchiha’ Hyuuga-taichou?” The uncanny shadow-nin asked.
Was everyone testing his patience today? He wondered as he turned and faced his subordinate. “It was a slip of the tongue. I hear everyone referring to him as such that I couldn’t help myself.”
Giving him a blank, unconvinced look, Shikamaru seemed to decide it was too troublesome to pursue the matter further. He put on his mask and fixed his hood over his head to cover his hair. “As much as I respect Naruto I have to report it, taichou. I’ll give you a chance to report it yourself, though.”
“You are stepping out of bounds, Nara-fukushou. This could be construed as insubordination and you know how we deal with that in the ANBU.”
“And you know what happens to commanders who disobey the golden rule.” The masked man said before hopping up onto the wall. “This whole thing is so troublesome.” Hyuuga heard him grumble before disappearing in a swirl of dank air.
He bit his lip, trying to figure out a way to staunch that afternoon’s event but there was nothing he could do. Sasuke’s privacy would soon be invaded by the forceful woman. He could just imagine her bursting down the door and yelling at the unhinged Uchiha, demanding that he be put through tests. It was simply as Sasuke had said; there was no way to increase the flow of chakra coursing through his body. Not without unwanted and grisly side effects. The chakra just simply wasn’t there anymore. It was gone. He had enough to sustain his life but that was about it and for some strange reason, Neji got the feeling that that was just fine with Sasuke.
Twenty minutes later, he found himself face to face with the Hokage. She sat back in the chair with her hands meshed and on her stomach, her feet kicked up on her disorganized desk. Shizune sat in a chair just behind her and to the right, dubiously writing a letter or a report or something that didn’t concern Neji. “I have to report the incidents of today, Hokage-sama.”
“Oh?”
“Uchiha-kun has found out about Naruto’s request.”
“And how did he do that, Neji-kun?” She asked, suddenly taking her feet off of the desk and leaning across to planting her elbow on the desk. She set her chin in her hand and began to gnaw on the tip of her fingernail as her eyes seemed to bore holes into Neji.
He clenched his fists to keep from fidgeting. If there was anyone who could fray his composure it rightfully had to be handed to the Hokage. She was a very impressive woman and he didn’t doubt that she was a capable leader although she hadn’t shown it at times. “I told him.”
“Why?”
“Because he made me angry.”
“Sasuke-kun has been doing a lot of that lately, making people angry.” Tsunade commented idly before saying, “And I expected better of you, Neji-kun.”
Neji had the grace to blush under the mighty glare of the Godaime. “I’m very sorry, Hokage-sama.”
“It must be the heat that is making people testy.” She said and sat back, resuming her position with hands on her stomach and feet kicked up on the desk. “But seeing as you have let the cat out of the bag, what do you suppose we do about it?”
“Hokage-sama… I had promised Sasuke that I wouldn’t reveal the uniqueness of his situation to you but I am obligated…”
“’Uniqueness of his situation’ Neji-kun? Whatever do you mean?”
Shizune stopped writing and looked up, staring at the young man as he said, “Uchiha-kun can no longer activate his Sharingan. He can’t use ninjutsu that require any amount of chakra.”
“Oh?” Interest piqued, Tsunade planted her feet on the floor and dragged her chair closer to her desk. Folding her hands nicely on the desk, she stared at him, “And why was this not brought to my attention earlier?”
“He promised me not to tell… “
“And what has changed your attitude, Neji-kun?”
Looking away, Neji stared at the tapestry on the wall to his right as he spoke, “Before I answer, I must ask you this Hokage-sama…” He took a deep breath, “Do you plan on reinstating Uchiha-kun’s status as a shinobi of Konohagakure?”
“Things look bleak for the last Uchiha, Neji-kun. I would say something to you about it but seeing as you cannot keep your mouth shut I don’t see why I should impart such a valuable piece of information.”
He winced visibly and looked at the Hokage. “I understand your trepidation, Hokage-sama…”
Slamming a fist on her desk, making books, pens and ink bottles bounce, she stood up and roared, “DO YOU?” Silence ensued before she said softly, “Hyuuga Neji, trepidation is not the word I’d use to describe what I feel for you right now. You have shown insubordination and dishonorable behavior—two traits I thought the Hyuuga clan were genetically incapable of displaying. I suggest that you think very, very carefully about what you do and say from now on. One more screw-up and I’ll see you thrown in jail.”
He stared at the woman in horror, too afraid to do or say anything. “Now that I have put the fear of god into you, I will tell you this much; Uchiha Sasuke will be kept on a short leash but he will be given back his status as Genin. He will be given the opportunity to work up to the rank of Chuunin but seeing as he, too, has displayed a penchant for disloyalty; he will not be seeing Jounin any time soon.”
“I see…” He managed to whisper.
“Now how does this apply with my earlier question regarding your attitude change towards Sasuke-kun?”
“I think he’s feeling remorse, Hokage-sama. I think he’s feeling it but he doesn’t want to realize it.”
“He’s in denial?”
“Drowning in it.” He blurted, “He can’t cope with it. I think that the only one capable of relieving Uchiha-kun of it is—“
“Lemme guess… Naruto?” She snapped. “I cannot let him near Sasuke-kun. He’s having serious problems keeping his temper in check and is now, trying to work out that issue.”
“So he’s not even here?”
“No. He is training with Jiraiya right now and I do not foresee him being back any time soon.” Taping her long fingernails against the desk, she said, “So I guess it’s up to you to keep the Uchiha brat from killing himself.”
It was up to him now. Kakashi and Sakura, the only other people that knew Sasuke, were out of the country on a mission to flush out the remaining members of the Akatsuki. There was no way that they would be called back while on such a paramount tasking. He was well and truly trapped with the depressed, mentally unstable man. “I understand, Hokage-sama… and I will not disappoint you again.”
“I have your promise of it, Hyuuga-kun. For what it’s worth… and if you do disobey me again, I will make sure you never see the rank of Jounin again--- nor the light of day, for that matter.” She eyed him seriously.
“I understand.”
“And also, I think it would be to our advantage to have you living with him from now on.” Neji didn’t dare protest, although he was vehemently against the idea. “Now you are dismissed.”
Without another world, the shinobi left the office.