* Blue Light Special on Aisle 3... *
It’s the holiday season, and people are getting violent
Pushing, shoving & cursing to the tune of “Silent
Night”, it’s a hell of fight for what they sell
I’m in Jingle Bell Hell & I can tell
’Cause the trees were up before the snow even fell
Ah hell, well it makes me wanna fly south like a bird
’Cause by the millionth time you’ve heard
“Deck the Halls” you wanna hurt someone
Comin’ outta Housewears with a shotgun
And blow away every speaker when I’m done
I have not yet begun to Christmas shop today
I can see it’s gonna be another Hallmark Holiday
I walk into the store & see the lights
And look at all the pretty sights
It’s a fight not to lose your cool
In the shopping cart jams & mob rule
The fools & their money are soon parted
By cheap gimmicks, outsmarted & Wal-Marted
Before winter’s even started, the wall
Has been plastered with ads & that’s not all
They Decked the Halls with advertising
’Tis the season for merchandising
It’s not surprising people are fighting
With prices dropping & tempers rising
X-mas comes but once a year
But watch out, dude, once it gets here
When it draws near, there’ll be hell to pay
Time again for another Hallmark Holiday
The promotion is shameless
Those behind it hardly blameless
Just an elaborate deception
Designed to alter your perception
Make gifts out of products & fads
With a long line of holiday ads
Halloween stuff in September
And Thanksgiving stuff in October
Christmas stuff before November
Or Easter in March, remember?
Mindless commercialism on display
Just another Hallmark Holiday
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Chapter notes: Something I freestyled one afternoon, years ago, dreading the traditional Last Minute Christmas Shopping Expedition I was going on later that night.
Chapter end notes: -circa December 2002
This is one I freestyled one afternoon, dreading the traditional Last Minute Christmas Shopping Expedition I was going on later that night.