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Naruto Gets Promoted by Froggy

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Chapter notes: Written in about twenty minutes for Hyuuga Akira's challenge. Warning: Really lame ending.
“Naruto, you don't have to do this,” said Tsunade, a tinge of annoyance in her voice. “I can just promote you to jounin and--”

No!” Naruto interrupted. “I have to earn my promotion, Baa-chan! Everyone else became chuunin by passing the Chuunin Exams, and if I just got bumped up to jounin without doing anything,” one of the ANBU standing in the shadows of the office let out a choked snort, “it wouldn't be fair!”

“Naruto, you don't have to pass the exams,” Tsunade ground out. “You became a genin without passing the graduation exam, remember? Kakashi became a chuunin without taking the exams, Gaara became Kazekage without ever being a jounin, none of the Sannin ever took the bloody exams, and Shizune is a jounin and she never even went to the Academy! My point is that the exams don't matter! Besides, think of how unfair it would be for the other genin taking the exams if they had to fight against you. You're probably stronger than me already--”

“Totally,” Naruto agreed.

A vein popped in Tsunade's forehead. “Then why do you still want to take the exams?”

“Because it wouldn't be fair if I got promoted without taking the exams when everyone else had to pass them first!”

Tsunade let out a weary sigh. Some things were just hopeless.



It was like a switch had been flipped: one moment, everyone was chatting quietly, and the next, the room was silent.

Then the talking started again.

“Isn't that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki?”

“Oh shit that's the Yellow Flash's son--”

“Psh, what sort of idiot is that kid? He doesn't look that strong, and he doesn't even have a team with him! Stupid Leaf ninja.”

“He's the guy who beat Uchiha Madara!”

“--probably one of the proctors, no way is he actually taking the exams--”

“--but he's a Leaf ninja, why would he be a proctor for the Chuunin Exams in the Hidden Cloud?”

“Ew, who wears that color?”

“Squee, it's Naruto-sama! Marry me, Naruto-sama!”

“Quiet down, you lot!” the proctor barked over the noise. “The first exam is starting, and anyone who's still talking right now is automatically disqualified, along with their entire team!” He nodded, satisfied, when everyone in the room shut up. “Good. Now, the first exam is easy, and anyone who fails it isn't fit to be a ninja and should probably learn how to bake or something instead. You are to find the names and ages of at least three people in this room besides yourself. You also have to find at least three jutsu those people can perform, and no, henge, kawarimi, and bunshin do not count. Anyone who writes those down even as a joke will fail on the spot. The last bit of information you will need is either the name of someone they've killed or the names of their jounin sensei and everyone else on their team, either one will do.

“Of course there are are restrictions too. You are not allowed to use jutsu. You are not allowed to damage or leave this room. You are not allowed to fight anyone.

“And that's it. Any questions?”

A dozen hands went up.

“Good, no questions. You have an hour for this test. Pencils and paper are in the box over the blackboard, and... begin.”

When the proctor and his assistants picked up the papers half an hour later (because lying to the little genin was fun) they weren't the least bit surprised to see that three quarters of the papers there listed the same name first.

Uzumaki Naruto, 17
Rasengan, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Kuchiyose no Jutsu
Uchiha Madara


They gleefully disqualified the teams of every person who had written that down. Naruto technically hadn't killed Uchiha Madara, since Madara had already been dead, and besides, the Chuunin Exams were really just an excuse for the desk-nin to be sadistic bastards. Nitpicking was practically required.



The Kumo jounin blinked as she took in the pathetically small bunch of brats in front of her. “Well, the second exam was really supposed to be a race, and the first eight people to get past the finish line would get to the third part, but since there's only seven of you here, we'll just skip this part. Congrats, kiddos, you all passed the second part of the exam!”

She turned away from the bemused brats and hissed to one of her assistants, “Oi, what the hell happened? Why's there only seven? How are there only seven? Teams only come in groups of three!”

Her assistant fidgeted nervously. “Um, Uzumaki came alone and Raikage-sama didn't see any reason to not let him take the exams, and all the other teams—the ones that passed the first exam, I mean—they all backed out. The Mist team here is a bunch of idiots who don't know who Uzumaki is, and the Konoha team is... fangirls. And a fanboy.”

“Tell me you're joking,” said the jounin disbelievingly.

“Eh he, no?”



Tsunade looked between A and Gaara slowly. “Where's the Mizukage? And why are you here, Kazekage?”

“The Mizukage sent a message saying she was too embarrassed to come, and that if I told that to anyone other than the other three Kage, she'd declare war on Kumo,” A explained.

Gaara shrugged. “I needed a break.”

“Huh. Good enough,” said Tsunade. She turned to watch the first match, which was some random Mist kid against a Konoha genin. It was... kind of pathetic to watch, to be honest. The Konoha genin kept trying to catch an oblivious Naruto's attention while the Mist kid spent the entire time taunting his opponent while doing absolutely nothing.

It was two hours later that lightning flashed through the arena. When it cleared, both genin lay unconscious on the ground and the proctor stood to the side, chewing on his lollipop and looking suspiciously innocent.

“I'm going to have to remember to give Omoi a pay raise later,” A commented.

The second match was considerably better. They were a girl and the boy from the Konoha team, and they fought each other with a vengeance, throwing around explosive tags that had to have cost them all their savings. It was the girl that finally won, but seconds after the proctor announced the results, she collapsed as well.

Then came the third match between two Mist genin. They apparently didn't particularly want to fight each other, and finally, one of them forfeited.

Which left the “victorious” Mist genin to Naruto.

Naruto eyed his opponent uncertainly. “Hey kid, I feel kinda bad fighting you. You want to forfeit?”

“Hell no!” the Mist genin shouted. “Who the hell do you think you are, telling me to quit! I'll kick your ass, you stupid Leaf-nin!”

Tsunade could see why the Mizukage hadn't shown up.

Naruto seemed to think otherwise. He grinned. “That's the spirit, 'ttebayo!”

The Mist genin growled and launched himself at Naruto.

The match ended half a second later, when a Naruto clone tapped the other genin in the back with an extremely toned-down Rasengan.

“That was entertaining,” said Gaara mildly. “And now, I have paperwork to get back to. Congratulate Naruto on his promotion for me.” Sand swirled out of the gourd on his back, surrounding him, and when it cleared, he was gone.

“Tsunade,” said A, his voice perfectly calm and not at all A-like, “I say we make a new rule for the Chuunin Exams. Any genin S-rank or above is not allowed to participate.”

“Sure,” Tsunade agreed.

And that was how Naruto got promoted.
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